Phan Fic-
Based on the song "Come Back...Be Here" by Taylor Swift.
It was 4 am and Dan and Phil had just finished their gaming marathon, they had been playing for over 12 hours at that point . Dan stretched as the game credits started and got up to turn the t.v off. As he bent down to turn the machine off he looked out the corner of his eye to look at Phil. Phil was rubbing his eyes in a way that Dan thought adorable.
It felt almost strange to think about Phil that way. It was the second day after Dan admitted to Phil that he liked him. Phil had been shocked at first and as Dan had lain in bed that night, he worried about what Phil would say in the morning. If Phil would be okay with it or if he would move out. The next day Dan sloped downstairs to breakfast in the morning, apprehensive of what was going to happen next. Phil was sat on the sofa eating cereal , watching some animal documentary on the tv. Dan was unsure where to sit and stood awkwardly by the door with his cereal. Phil looked over at him, smiling encouragingly , gesturing for him to sit down. Dan smiled back tentatively and sat down. They sat in silence for several minutes, neither of them being brave enough to speak first. Phil plucked up the courage to speak first,
"So..."
Dan looked at Phil, waiting for him to say more, unsure of what to say himself. After another minute passed, Dan could hear Phil take a deep breath and turn towards him.
"I've been thinking about what you said. I am not sure if I feel the same way. I mean I like you, you're my best friend but I don't know if I like you that way."
Dan sat and listened to Phil, taking in what he said. He knew he had suprised Phil by saying what he had said and knew he wasn't going to get an answer straightaway. He didn't want to scare Phil away so he would just have to keep quiet for a while until Phil told him how he felt back. Dan smiled reassuringly at Phil as he said,
"It's ok. Look, I don't want you to feel like I'm putting pressure on you to feel the same. Just tell me if you do and if you don't then I'll be fine with that."
As the two of them got up to got to bed after their gaming, Dan wondered if Phil would give him an answer before Phil went to New York the next week. Climbing into bed that night, he started to wonder what he would do if Phil felt the same. He hoped the did, he didn't want to think about what would happen if Phil didn't. Dan didn't want to spend forever living with someone he liked but didn't like him back, it would hurt too much. He also thought about the next week, Phil was going on a trip to New York to see his friends for a couple of days whilst Dan stayed in London to do some work. He already knew he would feel lonely and tried not to dwell on it as he fell asleep.
The following days leading up to Phil's departure were awkward. Neither of them knew what to do with each other and Dan found himself looking at Phil, wishing that he would just say something. They were playing a game one afternoon and Dan felt like he had never heard silence quite that loud, neither of them speaking for hours on end. He found himself avoiding Phil often as he tried to work out what to do. Should he just leave or stay until they worked it out? It was the night before Phil was due to leave and he was packing before they finally spoke. As Dan walked to his bedroom, Phil called out from his. Dan went into the room, Phil had covered his bed in clothes. He held up two t-shirts against him and then turned to Dan,
"Which one should I take?"
Dan pretended to think hard about them and he saw Phil's mouth start to twitch into a smile as Dan pretended to be in despair over the thought of which one to take. After a minute he smiled at Phil's attempt to stop himself laughing and pointed to one of the t-shirts. Phil threw the rejected one back onto the bed and as he packed the chosen one into the case he started to talk,
"Thanks," He placed a pair of jeans in the case and turned around to talk, "I'm sorry that I haven't spoken to you for the past few days. It's just all this at once: the trip, the show, what you said , has all been a bit...overwhelming. I have been thinking about what you said and I've decided to give you my answer when I get back, I promise. Okay?"
Dan thought about it and knew it was the best he was going to get and smiled,
"Okay, when you're done packing do you want to finish off that game? I might let you win this time."
Phil smiled and Dan took it as his way of saying yes. He went to the living room and smiled to himself as he set the game up, hoping that they would be able to sort it out some way before Phil left. He went into the kitchen to get some snacks and was halfway through a packet of crisps by the time Phil joined. Phil playfully snatched the packet from him and sat down , grabbing the game controller on the way.
They didn't play for too long as Phil had an early flight the next day and they both found themselves yawning at 1 am. They both went off to bed and Dan felt happy getting into bed that night. Even though Phil was going the next morning, Dan was just happy to feel that delicate rush at the beginning of liking someone. He slowly fell asleep as he pushed the thought of what would happen the next morning away from him.
The next morning, Dan stayed in bed for as long as he could, not wanting to face what was inevitably going to happen. Soon enough he heard Phil getting up and remembered that he had promised to go with Phil to the airport. He thought he may as well spend some more time with Phil before he left. He quickly got changed into the first clothes he found and went downstairs. Phil had put his suitcase by the door and was sat eating breakfast. Dan smiled as he walked in and grabbed a pack of the breakfast biscuits that Phil had wanted to try. They both sat eating breakfast , casually commenting on what was on the tv. Too soon for Dan, it was time to go. They were getting the tube to the airport and Dan let the noises of the morning commuters distract him from what was going to happen. They arrived at the airport and made their way to some seats a they waited until it was time for Phil to go. They spent half an hour talking about random things from the airport to what they were going to eat when Phil came home. When it came to the last few minutes before Phil had to go , Dan knew it was time for them to say goodbye. It was a long goodbye and he found himself stumbling through it, unsure of what to say. When the time came for Phil to go, they both stood up. Dan pushed Phil's case to him as it had been next to him and he didn't realise how heavy it was when he felt forward. He slid forward slightly and his lips accidentally met Phil's. They both recoiled in shock and Dan didn't know what to do. Had he blown it with Phil, any chance of it working it out? Just as Dan processed the last few seconds, Phil took him by suprise and put his arms around Dan and kissed him properly. Dan stopped thinking for a moment and felt his arms move up towards Phil. Phil broke off after a minute and took hold of his case. He looked Dan in the eyes before he went off to his flight and said,
"I had to, just once, to help me decide. I'll see you in a few days."
Dan watched as Phil went to catch his flight and Dan felt like he was just about to fall. He stood there for a moment , watching Phil disappear before Dan went to catch the tube home. What was going to happen now? Did Phil like what had happened? As he left the airport he turned to see a plane fly rapidly through the sky and wondered if it was the plane taking Phil. Dan felt the underground carriage moved beneath his feet as it rattled down the track and he felt the same way. He ended up not going back to the house, he didn't think he could face it just yet. He ended up going to Picadilly Circus and decided to wander by the shops for a while as he thought. He remembered telling himself don't get attached to Phil like this and yet he had. In his mind he played it all back, all the memories that had lead to where he was now. They span round in his head faster than the plane that took Phil. They had started out as friends and now Dan didn't know what was going to happen. He just had to wait a few more days to find out. He thought he had known Phil in the days before he said what he had but in a way he felt like he didn't know Phil at all. He remembered when he had first started to like Phil , he had thought nothing of it. If Dan had known what he had now he wouldn't have played so nonchalant about it. He would have done something so he wouldn't be where he was now. Alone with no idea of what to do.
As he walked along Regent Street, he watched the taxi cabs fly by him. He walked along the busy streets around Oxford Circus, none of them bringing Phil back to him. Dan couldn't help but wish Phil had taken Dan with him. As the day dragged on, it was time for Dan to go back to the house. He started his new routine of eating dinner alone and spending the night on the computer. He eventually went to bed at some time after two and it was even later when he eventually started to fall asleep. That was when the feeling of missing Phil sank in Dan really didn't want to miss him like that. When Dan woke up he felt awful knowing that Phil wasn't waking up at the same time. As Dan went down to breakfast feeling miserable, he found himself wanting and needing Phil's "morning" to hi . Dan didn't want to need Phil like that, in a crazy, desperate way. He guessed that Phil would be in New York by now and as Dan sat down in the lounge he just wanted Phil to come back and be here with him.
