AUTHORS NOTE: (Spoilers for The Force Awakens) – Since I hated the direction they went with Han/Leia's marriage and the death of Han I decided to write my own version of how he would die.
The light was blinding, so blinding Han had to cover his eyes against the assault on his retinas. His head pounded and the sound of an engine grinding over like rutting Banthas set his teeth on edge. The growls from his Wookie co-pilot indicated that their ship was still crippled. Han wondered if it would have been this way if the pair had taken the Falcon after all. He suspected he would be home and cosy with his wife of more than 3 decades. As it stood – with the planet about to burn – he would not be joining her anytime soon.
For once in his very long existence Threepio sat deadly silent in his small space in the overcrowded X-Wing ship. Chewie growled in anger again as he tried another trick he had used numerous times to get the Falcon moving. It didn't work.
"Would it help if I got out and pushed?" An irate young princess snarled inside Han's head from a memory long ago passed. The thought of her made him feel sick; the thought of never seeing her again, never touching her silky soft skin. He thought of his son long ago lost and he longed to speak to him one last time, to beg him to take care of his mother.
Outside the cockpit window the world burned in the distance and he waited patiently yet impatiently for the world to implode, explode, he didn't know what was going to happen when the fire and he didn't care. He spent the next few minutes of his life cursing the Republic and this shitty mission they had sent him on. Though it was not strictly fair - he had volunteered for this mission after all. Han laughed out loud for a moment earning himself a reproachful growl from his furry friend. Inside his head however he pondered the sombre reality that he knew no matter what he would do anything for Leia and that included dying for her.
He turned to the golden droid as if seeing him for the first time.
"Threepio patch me a line to Coruscant." Han requested quietly.
"General Solo-" Threepio started to chime in his reassuring (or irritating) dialect.
"Please." Han repeated darkly a hint of desperation in the word and his eyes. Threepio had never seen the man so devoid of hope.
Apparently neither had Chewie who looked oddly at his friend. Han chose to ignore their glances and simply waited until the droid completed his last task.
A foreboding ringing filled the cockpit air as they all waited for Leia to answer.
It was dark when Leia awoke. She had fallen asleep after all despite her anxiety. She waited several seconds before moving trying to identify what woke her. She didn't have to wait long as the trill from her coms unit signified a voice call. She frowned and sleepily made her way to the unit. She had expected a call from Han earlier that evening but the call never came and she had begun to worry already despite knowing that he was always late and that her imagination was running away with her. Now she was afraid a late night call could only mean bad news. At the back of her mind she was aware that whilst he was the still the handsome rogue she fell in love with, he was not as young or as lucky as he once was.
"Hello?" she answered cautiously; there was no call sign indicator to show who she'd be speaking to.
"Hey sweetheart," The familiar voice said wearily. Leia smiled broadly feeling a rush of relief so intense tears sprang to her liquid brown eyes.
"Hey you." she said around the lump in her throat. She heard a growl of greeting. "Hey Chewbacca!"
"Listen Leia, I'm not gonna make it home." Han said solemnly before further niceties could be exchanged.
"Well I wasn't expecting you back today..." she started to say and Han screwed up his eyes tightly blocking out the overwhelming despair washing over him. She knew what he meant - deep down at least - but on the surface she refused to believe, unable to even think.
"Sweetheart we can't take off and we blew the nuclear base." he told her around the mist in his eyes. Leia closed her eyes as her own ocular dam burst. She knew it was serious if he was openly discussing his fears and feelings in front of Chewbacca much less See-Threepio. "I'm sorry Princess, I really wanted to go to that Diplomat party on Saturday." he said mournfully. Before he had come on this mission he would rather be anywhere than at a government function but now he would sell his soul just to accompany his wife.
"Han you know I'm not a princess anymore." she whispered gently reproaching him.
"You'll always be a princess to me." he said and she released the sob she had fought desperately to keep back.
"Oh Han!" She cried, burying her face into her hands. Han's heart broke all over again at the sound of his wife's crying and his own tears slipped down his rough cheeks.
"I know. I didn't want it to end like this." He told her, his voice strained. He looked out the window of the small cockpit and saw the fire growing closer over the horizon as the force of dozens of nuclear bombs detonating simultaneously burned through the world like it was made of wood and tore up every structure in its path turning it into mulch. Despite the agony in the pit of his soul he couldn't help but think how beautiful the dying world looked.
As the shockwave grew closer following doggedly by an inhospitable fire Han knew it wouldn't be long before the static flare would block communication.
"I don't have much time sweetheart. Just know that no matter what, I love you so much." he told her uttering his final goodbye.
"I love you too." Leia sobbed, her voice beginning to crackle over the comms unit; the wave couldn't be far out. Leia's voice finally dissolved into the spitting hiss of static and husband and wife were separated forever. Han tried a different channel trying to raise Coruscant again to no avail. He sat back with a heavy sigh. After a moment he slammed his hand angrily on the console with a curse under his breath.
Chewie yowled in despair and See-Threepio remained silent.
Somewhere across the galaxy Leia sat tearfully in front of her own comms unit trying to raise her husband. The only noise rewarded to her was the piercing crackle of static.
Han stared at the growing fire burning bright enough he could no longer see the graduation of desctruction getting ever closer. A faint shaking rocked the small ship and he knew they were almost out of time.
"General Solo, might I be as cowardly as to ask you to switch off my circuits?" See-Threepio spoke for the first time in what felt like lightyears. Under normal circumstances Han would not consider the droid's feelings, would ridicule him even but today - with death staring them in the face - he reached over and patted the droid's cold metal shoulder.
"You've been a good droid Threepio." He said without sarcasm.
"Tha-Thank you sir." The droid said in his perfect politeness. Seconds later his switch was flipped and the gold man fell silent and unmoving, his eyes unseeing.
After a tense moment Chewbacca wailed and would looking at him Han said, "Me too buddy." Han closed his eyes and thought of home as the ship started bucking violently and the blinding light pierced his closed eyelids. The light engulfed him until he felt nothing else.
