-As usual, these characters are not mine and I am not claiming them as mine.
-"My Immortal" By Evanescence
-Takes place when Jane is living with St. John Rivers and his sisters, before she finds out that they are related.
My Immortal
Jane had been living with St. John Rivers and his sisters for the last few months. They were pleasant and friendly, welcoming her into their home and into their hearts as if they were kin. But there was something missing from her life.
I'm so tired of being here
She was unaccustomed to luxuries and comfort, after eighteen years of routinely being dishonored; it was difficult to accept anything positive. Then he entered her life. She had not fallen in love with Edward immediately, but when she knew that she loved him, it changed her. Jane thought with her upcoming marriage, that perhaps the next eighteen years might have been different than the previous eighteen years.
suppressed by all my childish fears
Then the truth came out and her dreams vanished. Everything she had feared had come back to haunt her, ten fold.
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
She saw his face in her dreams, pleading for forgiveness, but the depth of his lie was too great. Her heartbreak at the fact he was already married and the fact that he had knowingly lied about his wife overcame the love she had for him.
"Miss Eyre, are you ill, you look a little pale?" Mary Rivers asked, breaking Jane out from her melancholy thoughts.
"No, I'm not ill, thank you" Jane replied.
"The storm clouds are gathering over the hills, perhaps we should go inside?" Mary suggested, pointing to the dark clouds growling menacingly in the distance.
"We shall" Jane agreed, following Mary inside.
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
Jane looked back at the darkening clouds as she entered Moor House house, knowing they matched the stir of emotions she felt inside.
when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
Edward had told her about his relationship with his father and brother, how they had manipulated him for their own design, how the bitterness kept building until his true person was hidden behind a wall of civility and controlled emotions.
I held your hand through all of these years
but you still have
all of meShe listened to the years of pent up frustration and misery and promised, in her girlish innocence that she would take all of that away from him, she would make him happy. If she had only known the reason for his misery, then maybe her heart would have be given and then broken so easily.
you used to captivate me
by your resonating life
He told her stories of his younger days, the women he had known, the cities and countries he had traveled to, the places they would travel to after they married, that Jane had only experienced in books.
now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
It wasn't just his face she saw on some nights, but their children. Perhaps a son, an heir for Thornfield, or maybe even a daughter that might have inherited their father's blue eyes and passionate spirit.
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me
But that dream was not meant to be.
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Jane told herself this was an opportunity to move on. She had already taken up St. John's offer of teaching, perhaps she might find happiness she that she was searching for, but for now, the memories of that day and her dreams were never far from her thoughts.
