A/N

Kinda sad but sappy at the end. The dates get a bit confusing around the middle. Hope you like!

Burt's P.O.V

It was Christmas and the Hudmel's where in a hotel in Cleveland, Ohio. Not that far from Lima but far enough to make it feel like a vacation. It was his first Christmas with Carole and Finn and he wanted it to be special. He proposed the idea about a week ago after dinner.

Flashback

Dinner was just over and there was the after dinner chit-chat over the Hudmel dining table. Burt cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"So guys I was thinking that because this is our first Christmas together I think that we should make it a special one", he started, looking at the table, "So this year I booked us 2 rooms at a hotel in Cleveland", he finished locking eyes with his wife, who smiled at him and nodded her agreement. She looked like the happiest person alive then and Burt thought himself to be the luckiest man on Earth. He didn't notice the nano-second of hurt that crossed his sons face before that mask that Burt could normally see through was put up

End flashback

Now a week later it was 3 days until Christmas. His whole family looked so happy that Burt couldn't wait for Christmas day. He didn't notice his son look at himself in the reflection of the knife. He also forgot the date. He noticed the sad look that Kurt got one time when the mask slipped but put it down to missing Blaine. For a brief second he wondered how serious that relationship was getting as he finished wrapping up Finns present of a brand new PS3 with 3 games to boot. The kid still acted like a 13 year old when it came to his games!

3 days later

Christmas night.

Burt was so happy with how the day had gone, he thought, as he lay in bed that night. He woke up to Fins cries of "Awwwsssoommeee" every five minutes as he opened his presents. He snuggled closer to Carole.

"Happy Christmas sweetheart" he whispered into her ear. He already had his Christmas. To be with those he loved the most. He briefly wondered if Kurt was in shock over the vintage Marc Jacobs jacket that Burt had gotten him, complete with a note from the biggest Marc Jacobs stocker in New York that promised Kurt a job once he moved there after graduation. Along with a promise to get 2 items for free at the end of the month. He got up to notice that his son wasn't up yet. That should have been the first sign. He was disappointed not to walk in on his son. (But the shock and dumbfound expression on his sons face after he did read the note and opened the jacket, the ten minute hug and the speechless that lasted an hour made up for it)

At dinner that night everyone was talking animatedly Kurt and Carole ("Why do you hate Christmas jumpers so much?" "They should be banned from being worn outside the house and anybody who does should rot in HELL!" answered Kurt gesturing wildly) Finn and himself were talking about how awesome it would be to play for the Buck Eyes and Finn was asking him how he had managed to get a spot on the team. When everyone was finished with the meal he decided it was time for a toast. He cleared his throat and raised his glass to get everyone's attention.

"Kurt, Finn, Carole, I would just like to say that seeing you all here tonight gives me so much happiness. You Kurt have so much ahead of you. You can do anything you put your mind to it. You have a family and a boyfriend that love you and I couldn't be more proud of you. Finn you have a great football career ahead of you I can tell. You have a big heart and a lot of potential to be whatever you want. Carole" he said turning to his wife wit eyes that were glistening with unshed tears," Carole you are perfect. An amazing wife and mother and a heart of pure gold. I love you so so much. You are the woman of my dreams. I love this family so much", he finished raising his glass to toast his family. He missed the mask on his sons face break.

Kurt's P.O.V

After that speech Kurt could only stare straight ahead.

How could he forget? The year, the date, everything. If it had been any other year he would have forgiven him but not this year. He couldn't even meet his eyes now. He joined in with the rest of the festivities and went to bed. Sleep wouldn't come to him that night. He knew that he had to get out then. He left a note saying that he left. He didn't tell them the real reason, but he couldn't help the few tears that escaped and landed on the note. He didn't want to ruin Christmas for the rest of the family. He grabbed his keys to his Navigator (he came separately with the presents and suitcases). This day was too special for him to miss.

Burt's P.O.V

Burt got up the next day and went to the kitchen, hoping to find his son making breakfast. He got a surprise when he found a scribbled note on the table. He picked it up and read it a little bit of surprise shooting through him

Hey Dad, Carole or Finn

I decided to leave a couple of days early to catch up with everyone in Lima. Hope that's cool with everyone cause I'm already gone =)

Kurt

Kurt had left without telling him? That was odd but then again Kurt wasn't one too be away from his friend long. It was then he noticed what look like a big splash on the end of the note. Kurt must have spilled something. He decided to spend the last of his holiday without Kurt as best he could. It was his first Christmas without Kurt in ….10 years. Why did that seem so significant to him? He just couldn't put his finger on it.

December 26th

Kurt's P.O.V

He wondered if his dad would remember once he saw the note. Probably not. He had a new family now. Kurt had to grow up too fast after IT happened. His feet carried him on the familiar path. In his hand he had a blanket and a letter. When he reached his destination he dropped to his knees.

"Hey Mom. It's been 10 years…." he sighed.

Burt's P.O.V

Later that night, the note was still bothering Burt. Carole noticed his worried face and asked what was wrong.

"Oh nothing just that note", mumbled Burt in reply.

It wasn't until he was in bed that he thought about it. The date. The year. The stain on the note.

"Oh crap"

Flashback

"Mommy's gone. She is not coming back is she?" asked Kurt. His voice didn't betray anything, nor did his eyes as he looked at his dad. He looked like he had aged 10 years. A 7 year old should not have to age so fast. Or go through what Kurt did. Burt was amazed as he looked at his son. How he knew. He had just got the news that his wife hadn't survived the crash as he was waiting in the hospitable with his son who, miraculously had. His son had just gone to the toilet after getting cleared by doctors. The connection he had with his mother was amazing. He picked his son up

"No buddy. No she isn't. But we will always, always remember her. In 10 years from now we will visit her grave and remember her for the person she was.

"10 years…" whispered Kurt.

"Yep 10 was her favourite number. It also means that she is completely with God" he said trying to comfort his son.

It was then that Kurt decided not to believe in God anymore. What was a God who took a mother from her son?

End Flashback

Burt left a note for Carole and Finn saying that he had had to make amends for something. He told them to stay until the end of the vacation. He picked up his keys and set out for Lima. Now he had to find his son. He had left 2 days ago.

December 27th

He pulled onto his street and noticed his son's car there. He parked and went into his house calling for Kurt. The house didn't look like it had been lived in for a while. Hi son wasn't there but his car was. Strange.

December 26th

Kurt P.O.V

Kurt pulled his car into his driveway. He didn't mean to spend long, just grab his letter, food and a blanket. He walked to the florist and bought a single vanilla orchid. She always smelled like vanilla. He set off for the graveyard planning on staying the day with his mother. He wanted to remember her and tell her about his life. He wanted to spend the anniversary with her. Right where he wanted to be.

December 27th

Burt P.O.V.

Burt knew where his son was. It was just after 3 o' clock when he arrived at the graveyard. Hid feet took him to where his son would be. He stopped to look at the sight that greeted him.

His son leaning against Elizabeth's grave. A vanilla orchid and a letter beside him. As quietly as he could he picked up and read the letter. His heart broke at what it said. He looked over at Kurt to notice that his son was waking up. When Kurt noticed who was there he looked away sheepishly.

"Hey Dad. I didn't expect to see you here..." he started but was cut off by Burt pulling him into a hug and muttering "I'm sorry" over and over into his ear. He was so so sorry for having forgotten his promise. He said that to his son

"It's okay Dad. I could see how happy you were in Cleveland and I didn't want to take that away from you."

There it was again. The part of his son that put everyone above himself. No scratch that that WAS his son. Always looking out for everybody else. His son who had to learn to cook, clean and look after a home at such a young age. Burt looked at his son whit so much love and admiration. He was so proud of his son. Then he remembered what was in the letter.

"Son, I hope you don't mind but I read your letter", he said looking at his son as he froze for a minute. He relaxed after a bit in what looked like a mix between relief, embarrassment and sadness. He didn't meet his eyes.

"No that's fine and before you ask it's all true", he answered still not meeting his eye.

"Kurt look at me", he told his son softly. He waited until Kurt complied before starting again.

"Kurt I want to know when you feel like this. Did you tell anyone that you felt like this?" he asked expecting his son to nod and say Blaine or Mercedes. He didn't expect him to shake his head and say no-one. That caught him by surprise.

"Not even Blaine?"

"No he has his own worries I don't want him to know all of mine too".

"Kurt, you can't keep stuff like this inside of you. Tell someone, anyone, next time you feel like this. Okay?"

"Okay dad" replied his son a few tears slipping down his cheek.

Burt picked up his son bridal style, ignoring his weak protests of "I'm not a baby" and "This is ridiculous". Burt knew that his son needed to be held right now.

"Kurt lets go home, make some hot chocolate and go through some photo albums 'kay"

"Mmm kay. Love you dad", mumbled his son

"Love you to Kurt", he said. He looked towards the sky, and thought;

"Love you too Lizzie"

A/N Reviews are love! If I get enough I might post the letter in a separate chapter sooner rather than later!