Disclaimer: We still don't own anybody, although we've looked into renting them, and that's sort of, um, illegal. So yeah. Proceed.


Randy Orton was livid. This would be funny at some point in the future to him, and it might be funny to the reader now, but he's taken Ted DiBiase's career basically stalling as a personal affront. Sure, Ted's had surgery and has had a pretty rich, rewarding personal life since his TV time dried up. Sure, he's still getting the same pay as he would if he was just working dark matches. Hell, Ted might actually be doing -better- financially since he hasn't racked up a ton of road expenses. Ted's actually similar to some of the WCW guys who were kept on the payroll for a few years and worked like 2-3 matches, like Randy "Macho Man" Savage's brother, "Leaping" Lanny Poffo.

When Legacy broke up, people were betting on Ted becoming the breakout star. Instead, Cody Rhodes had risen up and shown everyone, and shut up the nay-sayers. While that's great for Cody, and even Ted is proud of Cody, Randy wishes that some of that stardust had landed on Ted. Randy feels personally responsible for the failure of Ted's career to fully thrive.

If Randy wasn't so livid, he might realize what Ted's realizing on a certain level in his mind: While his career is seemingly "stalled", and sure, PPV bonuses and merchandise checks do go a long way and Ted's not raking -those- in, Ted's probably actually -extending- his career. This lack of use now tacks on years toward the end. The healthier he is now, the healthier he remains, the stronger he grows, rather than getting thrown around and fed to Ryback and shit like that. It's actually good luck shining on DiBiase, being in the so-called WWE Witness Protection Program. Hell, Randy might even get a little jealous that the friend he's so angry about how they're 'treating him', is actually getting to not only live the dream-he's still on the payroll, he does still make appearances, and he's working more of the media side, rather than taking bumps and deteriorating-but that he actually gets to see his family for more than a brief stop each week. Ted might be a fucking genius.

Randy texted Ted.


Look, I know we got bigger fish to fry here but I just got a call from a low level PA in Creative. Asking me if she thought you'd agree to her pitching an idea for you. Kids sometimes need breaks so I said, tell me what you're thinking of. Well, apparently there's talk of putting you with Colter as an American, but she thinks to maximize screen time, she thinks you'd do better in the Wyatt Family. Now, I thought about it a sec and said 4 men stable? And she said no. You'd replace the one dude and wear the sheep head.

Let's just say the phonecall ended with somebody crying and it wasn't me.


Meanwhile, at home, Ted laughed all the way to the bank. He could just picture it-a sheep head. Really. With his luck, he'd end up breaking out of that faction and going into a feud against Sin Cara. Sheep Head vs. Mask. "I can't even," he chuckled, and just let it pass. He did send Randy a reply text, though.


Vince already spoke to me personally, he wants me to consider joining up with Colter as a "real American." Not sure if I want to do the whole redneck racist thing, though. And I just don't see me fitting in there with his crew. Zeb is decent but working with Swagger isn't exactly what I have in mind. If he gets fired, I would possibly get his spot. I just don't want to hang my hopes on somebody else losing their job.


"The sheep head? You can't be fucking serious," Cody said to Randy, as now the phonecalls were flying through Orton's circle.
"I KNOW," Randy bellowed. He went on and on, ad nauseum, over this sheep head.

And just those two words, "sheep head"...over and over...Cody found himself covering the mouth mic on the phone, because he had started to chuckle. He'd had a memory flash of working with Ted and Ted wearing the paper bag. And when Cody had bagged -Randy-. Now a sheep head.

"Are you laughin'?!"
"No, no. Was clearin' my throat."

Randy resumed the sheep head rant.

"Randy, hate to cut you short but my father's on the other line. Gotta go."


No, Dream wasn't calling but Cody had to call Ted.

And they laughed.