To Steph: You may copy the whole story and add your own chapter on your account and tell me when it's up, or you can simply send the chapter to me and I'll upload it here.
-------START PART 1-------
Oh, my lovely lily of the valleyWon't you be mine on this day?
I love you from the bottom of my heart
Just like Frank Longbottom loves his frog.
From your secret admirer,
James Potter.
"James, for one thing, you're not supposed to reveal who you are if you're going to introduce yourself as a secret admirer," Remus raised his eyebrow at his friend. James scribbled something out on the note. "And secondly, what kind of poem is this?"
"A haiku," James replied proudly, "Romantic, isn't it?" Remus scoffed.
"A haiku's supposed to have three lines, James. And the syllables are supposed to go 5-7-5… look, you've got 10-7-10-9…"
"Hey, at least I got one, right?" James frowned, as if it weren't such a big deal at all. "The 7, see? See?!" He jabbed the note so hard with his wand that it crumpled up. "Oh, bugger."
-------------------------------------------
"Prongsie! Moony! We've been looking everywhere for you! Where have you been?" Sirius' childish screams rang through the library and the librarian threw him a dirty look.
"Gosh Padfoot, we've been in the library, and you've obviously not been everywhere, because I've never seen you here except for just now," James rolled his eyes at his friend.
"Shut up Prongs… Muh-hooony, stop spending time with Prongsie, he's becoming a smartass like you."
"I quite enjoy Moony's company." James replied in a pained voice.
"Merlin's beard, Prongs! What did Remus do to you? No… don't tell me… he turned you queer?! Two men… an empty library… OH GOD, WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?! Don't turn to the dark side, Prongs! Noo! Noooo!" Sirius said in an amazingly soap opera-ly voice.
"Shut up Sirius. I was just helping James write his Valentines proposal to Lily."
"Muh-hooony, when will you start using our club names? We're the MARAUDERS, Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs! And isn't Valentines Day like 8 months away?"
"No Sirius, Valentines Day is not in September…" Remus rubbed his forehead.
"Well I'm soh-ree, Mr. Valentines Day Expert!"
"You ought to know, isn't one of your girlfriends' birthdays on Valentines Day?" Remus pondered knowingly.
"Merlin Moony, you stalk my girlfriends now? Which one was it again… Samantha? Or Vivian? No, I think it might be Mary… Well, might as well dump them all now so I don't have to use so much money buying gifts."
"You dumped Vivian three months ago, Sirius."
"Oh, in that case –"
"And Samantha graduated last year."
"Ah… I thought she'd been avoiding me…"
"Mary's birthday is in June."
"What--?! How do you know that?"
"She's in my charms class."
"Aha… heh, at least I can't be worried that she's two-timing me with you, right? Haha, I mean, you're gay…"
"Who I was homosexual? And look who's talking about two-timing…"
"No James I will not go out with you."
"Why are you calling me James, Moony?"
"I never called you James."
"Aww, Lily! You know I love you from the bottom of my heart, just like Frank Longbottom loves his frog!"
"Moony, I'm not Lily either, or Frank Longbottom."
"I know, Sirius. That's James over there with Lily, asking her out again, you platyrrhine."
"Oh."
"Lily My sweet flower! Wait, what are you doing? Why are you – oh no, why are you picking up your extra heavy potions' book? And you're coming nearer to me… Oh Merlin, what are you intending to – aaaaaaarrrrrggghhhhhhh! Ow! Ow! What--!? Help! Someone!"
"That's James getting hit by Lily's Potions' book."
"Oh… I see… Moony, what's a platyrrhine?"
-------------------------------------------
The boys were back in their common room, James clutching a rather swollen bruise on his head.
"Fat load of help you guys are, while I'm being beaten up by Lily, you two are discussing monkeys and chimpanzees or something!" James tried to play hit Remus, but only succeeded in injuring himself further as he pushed Remus' arm gently and ended up bouncing off as he hit his head onto the wall behind him.
"What the--? Moony, when did you grow muscles?" James rubbed his head and winced as he realised the action, although providing some comic effect, did not do much for his pain. Remus simply blushed and didn't reply. At this moment (splendid timing, according to Remus), a scruffy mousy-brown haired boy entered the common room, adorning what seemed like seeds spilling out of his ears.
"Argh… It was a long, long Herbology lesson… I only took it because Frank and Alice wanted someone else to – Merlin James, did you guys bump into Snape or something?" Peter jumped as he studied James' swollen forehead. James' face fell.
"It was Lily." He murmured.
"Oh…" Peter decided not to pursue the matter further and instead changed the subject, "Hey, what are you guys all doing for Valentine's Day?" Bad mistake. James' whole head seemed to sink lower.
"I'm going out with Penelope, since it's her birthday that day," Sirius said proudly, finally having remembered which one of his girlfriends' birthdays it was exactly.
"I'll probably be in the library, reading as usual…" Remus muttered.
"…" James remained silent. Sirius slapped him in the back.
"I've got it! The Marauders are launching a new plan! The Help James Potter Woo Lily Evans Before Valentines Day Plan!" Sirius pointed his finger into the air for dramatic effect.
"Can it be called THJPWLEBVDP for short?" Peter pleaded hopefully.
"Sure, why not?" Sirius grinned. James looked up and smiled weakly before wincing and clutched his wound again.
"This is going to be a long winter…" Remus groaned.
---END OF PART 1---
