A/N I'm not really new. I am otherwise known as heathethenoshkosh. THere was a problem with my email address shutting down cause I almost never check my email, and I can't remember my password and it's painfull to go over it so I'm back and I'm checking my email now so.... YAY!!!!

It was night, late at night. The moon was a mere fingernail in the black sky and the stars seemed too full. It was extremely still at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. There was practically no movement at all throughout the house; all of the inhabitants were fast asleep. All save one: the tall, slender, light brown (though slightly grey haired), golden-eyed werewolf Remus Lupin. In the sitting room a hearty fire roared in the hearth casting a golden glow everywhere and he sat Indian style on the burgundy, plush couch. His elbows rested on his knees and his hands cradled the cover of a relatively large black book. His eyes roved over the pages quickly a slight frown on his face as he shifted and sighed focusing all his attention on the reading material before him. A muggle book called 'The Da Vinci Code' by the author Dan Brown. Tonks had finished reading it the day before and was adamant about him reading it as well. It truly was excellent so far and he was almost halfway through with it after reading for only a few hours. To be honest there was a list of books that Tonks wanted him to read including two books by the actor/author Ethan Hawke, and a plethora of romance novels by Nora Roberts. He still remembered that conversation.



Tonks stared at Remus expectantly her eyebrows raised and her hands on her hips.

"A romance novel Tonks?" he asked in disbelief still staring at a piece of parchment with a list of titles on it.

"What?!" she asked turning to grate a huge slab of chocolate into the pot of warming milk. "They're good Remus, really, really good. Classy."

"A classy romance novel?" he asked walking up to her.

"Oh bugger off ya wanker, I don't read bullshit." She replied glaring at him momentarily. "I read that thing that supposed 'book' that you suggested."

"What book?"

"Hogwarts a History Remus? Honestly,"

"What?! I found it interesting."

"Tell me Remus do you find watching paint peal interesting as well?" she asked. He glared at her playfully.

"Note the fits of laughter." He said dryly and she smiled and looked up at him, her today bright green eyes sparkling up at him. "That book is a lot more informative than those silly penny novels that you read."

"Oh well that's not true. And how would you know in any case, you've read one have you?" she asked. He stared silently with an unamused expression in response.

"In any event, I found that book very, what was that word? Informative?" She replied going back to her work. He shook his head slightly and looked down at the list. "'Nobody's baby but Mine.'?" he asked glancing up at her with a quirked eyebrow, "'Birthright'?". She stared at him silently telling him to shut it and he sighed looking back down at the list of titles. "'Wuthering Heights', what's that about?" he asked.

"Ooooh Emily Brontë, that was a sad one. I cried the first three times I read that book. It's about unrequited love and loss, revenge, broken spirits, stubbornness... it's excellent." She replied. He nodded, interested and glanced down.

"'Matilda' " he said.

"Oh God, that was an excellent book, extremely funny and since you've been a teacher you will appreciate it."

"Is that so?" he asked.

"Roald Dahl is a bloody genius."

"Is he now?"

"Oh fuck yeah!" Remus winced at her enthusiasm, still not quite accustomed to her extremely colorful language and looked up at her before glancing down at the dark brown liquid in the pot. "I think that the chocolate's done." He said. She glanced up at him.

"Why don't you focus on that list and I'll worry about the bloody chocolate alright Loopy?"

He was halfway through the list and had found to his amazement and her immense satisfaction (He still hadn't lived it down.) that the books were very good. Even the romance novels though he'd die before admitting it. He had been living with her and Harry for a while since Sirius had died. The memory of his fallen friend still stung something fierce but it was better now, the void was... bearable. In those months after Sirius's death Tonks had been a God send. If she hadn't been there he didn't know what would have happened to him, to Harry. She had showed him the hope that he had thought was lost. She had showed him the light beyond the darkness and she had helped him get through to Harry. A slight noise from the kitchen made him glance over at the door but he went back to his reading ignoring it. It was either Tonks or Harry coming down for a midnight snack and this book was too good. Harry had changed since Sirius' death. The way that that boy was now was a direct result of Tonks's help. At first Remus hadn't known what on earth to say to him. How did he try to comfort someone who had just lost the closest thing to a father that he had ever had? He had already lost so much and it wasn't fair. It wasn't right. With Tonks' help he had found the words. He remembered holding Harry for hours as he cried. He remembered not being prepared for it in the slightest. The boy had barely looked at him during the entire time that he had spoken to him but then, as he was about to leave, Harry had turned to him and he had seen the tears, the heart wrenching tears in his eyes a split second before he flung himself into Remus' arms. That had been the beginning of a slow but sure healing process for both of them. He had ended up doing the same thing with Tonks a few days later. In his typical way he had ignored his own pain only seeking to help others telling himself that mourning was no good, that it wouldn't bring his best friend back. He didn't have the right to mourn, not when there was a shattered, confused, lonely sixteen-year-old boy who needed someone, anyone to comfort him. He hadn't realized how much he had kept inside until that night when it had all become too much and she had been there, with her black and blue hair and her grey eyes and she had held him so long that they had fallen asleep there on his bed. He remembered feeling hollow and empty as he walked down the stairs to the kitchen the following morning and she and Harry had been there laughing and singing along to some loud muggle rock band called Jet, some crazy yet cheerful song called 'Are you gonna be my girl?', as they made waffles. It had filled him, warmed him and some how it had made the loss more bearable. She had warmth and gentleness, an uncanny way of understanding everything and making your problems seem so simple and surmountable and anything seemed possible. She was infectious, from her laughter and her smile to the muggle songs that she blasted all day. She tapped into the child in everyone and that was what made her fun. A few months after Sirius had died she had taken them all out to a club and she had forced them to dance and drink and laugh until they were exhausted. That was Tonks. No one was allowed to be sad on her watch, not if she had anything to say about it. Chapter 80 he thought and glanced up at the clock about the mantle. Three thirty am. He should get some sleep. After this chapter. He told himself and continued to read.

The door to the room opened and Remus looked up to see Tonks shuffle in cradling a mug of some steaming liquid, (he wasn't sure what though) in her hands as if her life depended on it. She was biting her lip and concentrating awfully hard. Probably trying not to trip again. He thought fondly. Her hair was jet black like her too big, silk pajamas, a bit curly, and hung down her back in a long thick braid that reached her hips. Her eyes were a pale olive green and a slight dusting of freckles covered her nose and high cheekbones. Her skin was extremely pale and although she looked a bit smaller than she usually did, a bit shorter, her hips were a lot rounder and (although her shouldn't have been looking there under any circumstances) her breasts looked a lot fuller. 'Stop it, what are you looking at those for?!?' "Hello Tonks." He said. She smiled at him and his stomach flipped as she sat down next to him on the couch, eyeing the mug in her hands fiercely.

"Wotcher Remus." She replied.

"What have you got there?"

"Hot Chocolate." She replied moaning slightly as she took a sip. 'Sweet Merlin don't DO that!!'

"Too hot?" he asked

"Too good." She replied drinking some more.

"Do you want some?" she asked. He smiled and shook his head.

"No thanks. What are you doing up so late?" he asked

"So early you mean." she replied and he smiled again, she made him do that a lot. "Couldn't sleep. You?" He showed the book to her and she grinned knowingly. "Oh you'll be up for a good bit yet." She remarked recognizing the part he was at.

"I dislike you greatly." He said going back to his reading.

"No you don't." she replied smugly nudging his thigh with her foot playfully. "You love me. Are you sure that you don't want any hot chocolate?"

"I'm going to be up all night aren't I?" he asked. She smiled at him sweetly making his heart stop for a bit and his stomach flip again as she placed her mug on the floor.

"I'll be right back." She said. He watched her go and bit his lip slightly. Oh he was going to be up all night all right. He didn't know what the hell was wrong with him but his damned stomach wouldn't behave when she entered the room and it bothered him immensely. He couldn't spend ten minutes with her without his hand itching to touch her, and then ten minutes later he had to do it. He had no control over his thoughts, over his body, he felt like a bloody teenager. This was bad. He needed to go to sleep, he needed a drink and he needed... her 'NO!!! For the love of Godric she's practically a sodding child! ... Yeah but she isn't now is she? ... Shut up!!!' Ok so he definitely a rest he looked down at the page he had left off on and bit his lip thoughtfully. He really wanted to finish this chapter... it was paramount. He wouldn't be able to fall asleep anyway, not with all those loose ends tantalizing him... taunting him... like... like Tonks in silk. Oh bugger it all, this was ridiculous. 'Stop it! She's thirteen years younger than you for Merlin's Sake! You barely missed being her damn teacher! This is perverted and wrong and sick and twisted and' She walked in slowly, biting her lip again, concentrating very hard, her eyes almost crossed with the effort it took to not spill the hot chocolate or trip and his heart flipped in tandem with his stomach and then filled with a warmth that had nothing to do with the fire in the hearth to his right. 'I need an exorcist, this can't be natural. She's twenty three! Ok, Ok, I get it, I know... Then stop looking at her mouth! ... She's biting her lip it can't be helped! ... Pull yourself together man! ... I'm trying, I can't help it if she looks good in silk! ... Stop thinking about it! ... It's a bit hard mate! ... Yeah no shite... ... That's it, ok, I'm stopping, I'm stopping.' "Thank you Tonks." He said taking the mug from her. She grinned and shrugged blushing slightly.

"No bother, just thought that you would want some since you were staying up and all." She said sitting down next to him again, a little closer than before, hoping that he wouldn't say anything.

"No thanks to you."

"Yeah well that was the other reason, I was getting to that." She replied. He smiled and brought the cup to his lips inhaling deeply before taking a sip. Chocolate: One of the more heavenly creations in his opinion, one of the few perfect things in a world gone starkers. How the world existed before without chocolate he would never know. HE sighed, drank some more and fought the urge the purr as it flowed over his tongue and down his throat. Perfect, absolutely perfect.

"Should I leave you two alone?" she inquired, an amused expression on her face.

"Mmmmmm." He mumbled. "My love affair with chocolate, Tonks met Mrs. Remus Lupin," he said signaling to the cup in his hand. "Mrs. Lupin met Nymphadora Tonks." She laughed and he smiled.

"Don't call me that Remus, how long have you two been together?" she asked.

"Since I was born actually, I think I was baptized in the blessed stuff." He replied deadpan.

"Really?"

"Mmmmm, It just seemed meant to be, one of those things you know? Cheers." He said the last raising it up as if in a toast and drinking some more, his eyes twinkling. She grinned and rolled her eyes.

"You are so full of shite Remus." She said between laughs and he frowned slightly, playfully.

"Is that a complement?"

"Coming from me or in general?"

"Both, either."

"Yes and depends. Respectively." He chuckled and they sat there observing each other, drinking their hot chocolate, not saying anything. A question was burning in the back of his mind since she had entered the room so endearingly. One that he had wanted to ask before but had never found the time or the chance to.

"Tonks?" he started

"Remus." She replied.

"Is that your natural form?" he asked. She blinked and looked down at the dark brown liquid in the cup biting her lip fiercely, shrugging. She was absolutely adorable and it tugged at his heart.

"Well um... yes actually. How did you know?"

"You look like him, like Sirius, except for the green eyes." He replied. She blushed fervently and tucked some loose strands behind her ear.

"They're my dad's actually. My mum had black eyes, obviously being that she's a Black."

"Mmmmmm." She took a deep breath and a long fortifying swing of chocolate.

"So um... what do you think?" she asked not looking at him extremely nervous. He was the only man who could make her stomach go into knots like this and he wasn't in the least bit intimidating. He was kind, witty, funny, gentle, painfully intelligent, compassionate... just wonderful really. One of the best people that she knew. He also wasn't answering her. She closed her eyes, steeled herself and looked at him finally. His face was set in a rather unreadable expression, his eyes examining her closely.

"You're... you're beautiful Tonks." He replied softly. "Stunning really." She sighed, smiling sheepishly.

"Yeah?" she whispered. His eyes were mesmerizing, he drew her in everything about him. He thought that she was beautiful, and that could be enough for now she supposed.

"Yes. You should know that." He said wondering how the hell she could have missed it.

"Well..." she blinked and looked away. Before he could stop himself he reached out to her touching her face and turning her face toward him.

"Tonks?" she bit her lip.

"No one's ever told me that. Not after seeing me like...this." She said.

"Like the way you are."

"Yeah. In school boys always went for the dainty blondes, not the swarthy brunettes for Merlin's sake, that's for bloody sure." She said swiping at her eyes inconspicuously, mortified that she was crying.

"That's silly Tonks." He said.

"Is it?"

"Yes. Absolutely ridiculous. You are a very attractive person. It doesn't matter what you look like you're still beautiful to me. You have a beautiful heart and the freest, lightest spirit." Damn should he have said that? She laughed and shook her head slightly wiping her cheeks.

"Oh fuck, I'm crying." She muttered

"That's ok."

"Shite, I... I'm sorry." He sighed placing down his mug and, against his better judgment took her face into his hands. She stared at him silently her almond shaped eyes wide, peering at him like an owl as his thumbs stroked over her cheeks of their own free will seemingly.

"If that's the way that you were made then that's it. It doesn't mean that your ugly if you're different it just means that you're you... you're Tonks. Who you are is just fine, more than fine." She smiled sheepishly and sniffled.

"Thank you Remus." She whispered.

"Not at all." He replied.

"Can't have you running around with that idea in your head now can I?" she just smiled and shook her head, looking down.

"No, can't have that." She replied even as more tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Oh, sod it." She mumbled, pushing her face into his chest. He chuckled as she sniffled, a bit thrilled at her nearness and allowed himself one indulgence. Leaning in slowly he breathed in the scent of her: lavender and vanilla. It filled him, her smell, the softness of her hair, the smoothness of her cheek against his worn palm. It felt so good to have her this near, so perfect. She breathed him in, trying to calm herself down. His smell always comforted her, something pleasantly musky, smoky yet sweet, delicious. "You always smell so good." She mumbled into his shirt.

"Mmmmm. It's frankincense the one immoderation I allow myself. It's a special soap I get from India. My Mum gets is there when she goes on trips and she brings it back for me all the time."

"It's nice." She muttered looking up at him. He stared silently thinking vaguely that he should probably pull away, let her go, look away, dance jig, anything but stay right where he was. Oddly enough his brain was talking, he could hear it perfectly well but the rest of him was seemingly right in the middle of a coup d'etats. Nothing was moving and her eyes were too close. He would do something horribly wrong and crazy, like kiss her.

"You don't smell too bad either." 'WHAT?!?! What the hell are you doing Lupin?!' He leaned in slightly and smelt her skin. "Like lavender and vanilla."

"It's my lotion and the body wash. My mum got it."

"Your hair smells like chocolate." he said and she shot forward, her mouth clamping onto his and before his brain could filter out exactly what the hell was happening he was kissing her back, his fingers tightening in her hair, his heart jack-hammering against his ribs. God how long had he waited for this? Not necessarily her mouth but a woman's against his, one who wanted him. The fact that it was Tonks made her chocolate mouth even sweeter and as her lips moved over his, her hands slid up his chest and his skin caught afire. Was this right? Was it OK? It sure as hell felt like it, like she was it, she was the one that he had waited the better part of twenty some odd years for. She pulled away her eyes wide and nervous, her entire face more than a bit red.

"Oh shite." She murmured. "I'm so sorry Remus, I meant to say-" it took him about five seconds to figure out whether he cared about what she had to say or not and then he pulled her close and kissed her again fervently, harder this time, deeper and her fingers curled into his sweater as she kissed him back. He felt as if a huge bubble had burst inside of him, as if too much had been locked inside. He couldn't lie to himself, locking his fingers into her hair, tilting her head back and to the left so that he could deepen the kiss a bit, he wanted her desperately. He was tired of being alone all the time, he needed to feel wanted and the tiny sounds she made in the back of her throat was certainly helping matters. He pulled her closer, into his lap sliding his arms around her waist and his hands up her back. He forgot all about the hot chocolate, the book, and the fact that he was almost fourteen years older than the desirable, beauty in his arms. She pressed herself against him and he groaned slightly pulling away to rain passionate kisses along the soft, smooth, fragrant skin of her throat and collarbone. Her curvaceous shape felt so solid, warm and soft, comforting and hypnotizing in his arms, against his body. It was how she was, solid, strong, comforting, compassionate, and patient about the right things. He felt her sigh, her slight tremble, heard her whisper his name and fought to retain his sanity. No one should have the right to flood someone's mind that way. He moved up her neck, over her cheek, back to her soft full lips, which parted willingly for his with a slight sigh. Chocolate. That's what she tasted like: warm, soft, chocolate. She was so willing so eager and avid and it had been so damned long, he needed it so much, to feel and touch. She didn't seem to mind how long they were kissing or that it was him that she was kissing, she just melted against him and wound her fingers through his hair as his hands found the smooth skin of her back. He didn't know how long they stayed there... snogging and to be honest he really couldn't give a tinkers damn either. She pulled away eventually and buried her nose in his neck sighing her arms around his neck. He rested his head atop hers their labored breathing the only sound in the room.

"If I had known that you were this good I would have brought you hot chocolate a long time ago." She murmured. He laughed throatily and felt her smile against his neck.

"Mmmmm." He replied. She looked up at him and he stared down at her. "I do feel a bit..."

"Randy?" he smiled and kissed her forehead before resting his cheek against it.

"Not exactly. Adolescent was the word I was going for."

"Adolescent? For the love of God Remus how old are you?"

"Thirty five... or is it thirty seven... I can't remember." Her giggles made him look down quizzically. "You think that that's funny do you?"

"You make it sound as if you peaked at four." She said giggling

"I probably did, I was around that age when I got bitten."

"You didn't peak at four, don't be a fucking moron Remus." Her affectionate term for him.

"Yes darling." He replied resting his head against hers again.

"You don't mind me being almost two decades older than you?" She frowned at him.

"Don't be a fucking moron Remus." She repeated still playing with his hair. He smiled and nodded.

"What about the werewolf problem." "Don't be a-"

"'Fucking moron Remus', yes I know." He finished, the amount of times she had called him that over the course of their relationship as friends. She smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"I can't believe it. You cursed. I thought that it'd sound weird coming from the likes of you." She said impressed.

"Yeah well catch me around the full moon and I can turn the air blue."

"I'd have to see that."

"Mmmmm, tell a friend it'll be a party." He replied she grinned again and kissed him softly. He smiled against her mouth. Warmth, finally warmth, softness, solace: Heaven, this was everything.

THE END

A/N See the review button? It's nice isn't it? Really nice. Almost makes you want to click on it doesn't it? Do it. Surrender the fantasy!!!!