Disclaimer: I didn't create Captain Amelia, but I did create Louie, so if
you ever try to infringe on my copyright I'll kill you!
Amelia had just returned from a long voyage, and was really tired and hungry and sorta confused. She thought it might be fun to get drunk, so she went to a pub on the dock.
"Crap, I'm tired. Maybe I should just drink myself to sleep and wake up plastered on underneath one of the docks." said Amelia.
Amelia walked into a pub called, Drunk Louie's.
"I'll have a beer." Amelia said rather lazily.
The bartender happened to be named Louie, but he was also a dog.
"We don't serve your kind here, so get the crap out before I bust a cap on your sorry ass."
Amelia got pretty mad, said some stuff, then pulled out an uzi.
"Drink this!" Shouted Amelia as she filled Louie with about 50 bullets.
Everyone at the bar looked at Amelia, and since they were all dogs, they got pretty angry.
"Hey you whore, how am I supposed to get my booze if you just killed the bartender?" Said a sailor who was an idiot.
"Here, let me refill your mug...with your DOOM!"
In a desperate attempt to avoid his doom, the stupid sailor grabbed a spear and tried to spear Amelia. But Amelia was to quick for that. She jumped behind the dude, and totally ripped his legs off.
Everyone in the bar got pretty upset, so they decided to fight. About four guys with Machetes surrounded Amelia and were going to try to hurt her. But before they could, Amelia pulled a crossbow out from under her wicked awesome jacket and totally crossbowed those guys. They all died.
"Take this, pig slut!" Said an ugly sailor.
The one ugly dude pulled out a battle axe and swung it at Amelia, but she jumped in the air and did some flips. Upon landing she pulled out a switch blade and stabbed the guy in the eye.
"Ahhhhhh!!! You friggin' stabbed me in the eye, you craptard!"
And since he couldn't see, Amelia took a grenade and stuffed it down his shirt.
"Hey, what's that you stuffed down my shirt. Better not be a grenade, cause if it is I'll kill you mother fu- "He stopped talking cause his head exploded.
The she went around and killed everybody. Thoroughly satisfied, she left the bar.
Amelia had just returned from a long voyage, and was really tired and hungry and sorta confused. She thought it might be fun to get drunk, so she went to a pub on the dock.
"Crap, I'm tired. Maybe I should just drink myself to sleep and wake up plastered on underneath one of the docks." said Amelia.
Amelia walked into a pub called, Drunk Louie's.
"I'll have a beer." Amelia said rather lazily.
The bartender happened to be named Louie, but he was also a dog.
"We don't serve your kind here, so get the crap out before I bust a cap on your sorry ass."
Amelia got pretty mad, said some stuff, then pulled out an uzi.
"Drink this!" Shouted Amelia as she filled Louie with about 50 bullets.
Everyone at the bar looked at Amelia, and since they were all dogs, they got pretty angry.
"Hey you whore, how am I supposed to get my booze if you just killed the bartender?" Said a sailor who was an idiot.
"Here, let me refill your mug...with your DOOM!"
In a desperate attempt to avoid his doom, the stupid sailor grabbed a spear and tried to spear Amelia. But Amelia was to quick for that. She jumped behind the dude, and totally ripped his legs off.
Everyone in the bar got pretty upset, so they decided to fight. About four guys with Machetes surrounded Amelia and were going to try to hurt her. But before they could, Amelia pulled a crossbow out from under her wicked awesome jacket and totally crossbowed those guys. They all died.
"Take this, pig slut!" Said an ugly sailor.
The one ugly dude pulled out a battle axe and swung it at Amelia, but she jumped in the air and did some flips. Upon landing she pulled out a switch blade and stabbed the guy in the eye.
"Ahhhhhh!!! You friggin' stabbed me in the eye, you craptard!"
And since he couldn't see, Amelia took a grenade and stuffed it down his shirt.
"Hey, what's that you stuffed down my shirt. Better not be a grenade, cause if it is I'll kill you mother fu- "He stopped talking cause his head exploded.
The she went around and killed everybody. Thoroughly satisfied, she left the bar.
