I heard this song on the radio earlier today and this story just popped in my head.The song is One Thing by Finger Eleven.Let me know what you think, but please be gentle. I have a fragile psyche.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill.
Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
He couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned. The pillows just didn't seem to lay right. The sheets felt tight and itchy. He flung them off his body viciously. Then, he was cold. He pulled the covers back. There was no winning. He chuckled at the irony of that statement. Why did he have to think about it? Why did the question have to float into his mind? At least it happened at night where no one could notice it. During the night, no one watched. No one heard him mutter her name.
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
Peyton Sawyer. Two years ago. The memories swarmed in his mind. It was a recent development. A slight snag in the road to what should have been a content existence with Brooke. He should have known better. That year had been one of the best and worst years of his life. Best because he fell in love with her. Worst because he let her slip through his fingers. The difference between this day and those days was so small. Peyton and him were close, connected on a deeper level than most could understand. But they weren't together. He was with Brooke. No real difference.
It's nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line
He couldn't help it. He started thinking about her the day after he almost lost her. Through all the grief and sorrow that came along with Keith's death, there was Peyton. Dreams of what they had. The only good thoughts in his mind. He blew it off thinking it was just shock. Afterall, he could have lost her. And that thought made him nauseous. Because if he had lost her, he was sure he would regret things. A lot of things. Every moment not spent with her to start with.
Chorus:
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn't that be something
He would trade everything he had for just one day with her. One minute. One moment. But deep down inside, he knew even if he could, it would never be enough. He wanted everything with her. She was the one thing in his life that never faded. Even when she pushed him away, he knew she was there. She would always be there. It was always going to be there. It was the one thing he could count on. The one thing that he could never have.
I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time
When Brooke had told him she was still inside, he knew what he had to do. He had to go in there. He had to find her and bring her out. He could have left it to the professionals. He could have waited for the SWAT teams to save her. And he was quite positive that if it had been any other person he would have waited. But not Peyton Sawyer. Not his Peyton Sawyer.
Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
That kiss. It was engrained deep in his mind. It wasn't like the kisses in the motel or at Dan's party. That kiss in the library shut him down. Everything went blank, if only for a moment. And when it was over, he was speechless. That kiss he'd never take back. It was the kiss he had been waiting for all his life. The kiss poets wrote about and musicians sang about. The kiss that proves you love someone. The kiss that ironically speaks louder than the words ever could. She told him she loved him. He should have said it back. He shouldn't have pretended like he didn't feel the same. How long had he waited to hear those words?
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn't that be something
After weeks of restless nights, he wanted, no needed to know. Were her actions in the library heartfelt? Did she love him? He ripped his covers off again and sat straight up. This was driving him mad. He glanced at the clock. 3:28. He wasn't going to get to sleep any time soon. Without hesitation, he grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that had been lying on the floor and put them on. He patted around his dresser in search of his keys. He finally found them and he silently tiptoed out of the house.
Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
He reached the door, his palms sweaty and his heart beating a mile a minute. He never expected he would come here. Part of him felt like he should run away, the other part knew that he needed to face this. Now or never. He knocked on the door, wondering if she was even awake. Then, he shuddered at the fact that her father might be here. How was he going to explain that? He was almost positive he should turn around. Hell, life was good with Brooke. He could keep on pretending, keep on burrying those feelings. It was a lot less complicated.
Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
Just as he turned around to leave, the door creaked open.
"Luke?" her soft voice called out. He turned around and found himself staring straight into her eyes. They were red and tear stained. She was still in her bridesmaid dress, the same outfit he saw her in at the hospital earlier that day. He remembered watching her sit in the corner, away from Brooke. Tears silently rolling down her face. Once she heard that everyone was all right, she excused herself and left, but not before he caught her eye and she gave him a sad smile.
He walked closer to her until he was standing just inside her house. He took her hands in his. He felt her tremble from the contact. He was afraid she would jerk her hands away, but she didn't. He heard her as she took a shaky deep breath and averted her gaze to the floor. Slowly, he reached up and tilted her face up so he could look in her eyes again. It was now or never. He took a deep breath of his own.
"Peyton," he said, "Do you love me?"
