"welcome back mewtoe" satan said to mewtew. they were both good friends becuase they were satanic assholes. then ivysuar and squirting came in. "still i'm pissed you impersonated me. wtf is Satan!Mewtwo? some edgy mewthree shit? heck off! it was very edgy because it was quality cgi. then mewton sashed satan's face in in and he started bleeding. "what the feck," satan said. "that's A-SALT!" and then mewtey said very edgily "thanks satin" and then satan said with his dying breaths "but.. my name...s actu...allly... s...a...t...a...n" and died. then mewtow was like "im dlc i dont have to follow the rules lel" and became the new king of hell and started killing all the other people in hell, such as solid snack. and also ivysaur and squirting, even though they were fellow gen wuns.
"why are you doing this?" squirting said in a squirting way because he was squirting. "im an asshole pokemon. i dont care if ur gen 1, time to die," mewtwe said. he charged up his anime energy ball move and with the power of anime he killed squirting AND ivysaur in one hit.
then mewtwo saw wreck-it ralph, filming his brand new porno called rectum ralph. mewtwo told ralph that the satan fund would officially fund the movie.
"thanks satan," ralph said.
"I ALREADY MADE THAT JOKE YOU NEED TO DIE" mewtod said. he killed wreck it relph.
rolph died a bloody and painfully death. so then mewtits continued walking on and then he found lucas from the mother series dying. he had just recently fallen in hell where all cut smash characters go. he landed on a sharp rock and it cut through him and he was bleeding.
"I need cpr... with a dick..." lucas said.
too bad mewtwo didn't have a dick. but satan!mewtwo, however, did...
mewtwo didn't remember much about lucas back in his days of smeshing. however, he did remember everyone trying to get him to go out with dark pit, but mewtib himself always had a crush on lucas, but as he had no WIENER he felt lucas would not be impressed with him.
"omg you saved me"
"i love you"
nd then with the power of lvoe, they both started to lift out of hell...
"NO!" sakurai, the lord and savior with all the right flaviors screeched. he shot his laser at mewtwo who shielded lucas.
"YOUC ANT STOP US! WERE GONNA BE DLC TOGETHER!"
"NO YOU CANT! YOURE TOO UNBALANCED AND UNSTABLE YOULL RUIN THE GAEM! I CANT DEVELOP YOU ANY FURTHER!" sakurai pleaded
"why not? i promise i wont be evil and edgy!" mewtwo promised.
then sakurai frowned. "my beautiful children... im sorry, i just cant do this anymore. please just.. im asking you, as a friend, just... put an end to me."
"whats going on?" lucas ask.
"nentendo is FORCING me to make smesh bras vidyea goims against my own will! im slowly dying but they wont listen to me! theyre trying to keep me alive so i can be stuck in constant pain to make smesh for ETERNITY! that one american bish reggie... miyamoto... and iwata...please... kill me." sakurai explained.
so mewtwo charged up his anime and liberated sakurai. as mewtwob himself was leaving hell, he dubbed sakurai the new king and also queen of hell.
sakurai was finnaly in hell and he was free. everlasting peace for sakurai.
but then, somewhere in an office... reggie slammed his fist ont he tables.
"GOd! GOD! WTF! im so mad! that dumbass sakurai just died i can feel his life forcing leaving the world. what are we gonna do?" he said.
then iwata was like "reggie, you go and do the direct. make this direct make them erect. haha!"
so reggie stepped out and got into the camera's view, wearing a sign that said "mother 4" over his crotch. other than that, he was naked.
"hello and welcome t our new Nintendo Direct, or as i like to call it, the Nintendo Erect, because i am naked"
then reggie dropped the logo and it shattered on the ground.
"April Fools!" he said. then he lifted up his leg to reveal he was wearing a single sock. "i'm actually not completely naked!"
reggie's shlong filled screens all over america and the world and people reactedin various ways. some people even screamed. some people even needed cpr from reggie's dong.
so as that went down, sakurai rose from the dead as miyamoto lifted him up with his uh
*spins hweel for weapon name*
spirit chains
the spirit chains attached to sakurai and lifted him up from hell and then miyamoto and iwata SPLIT HIM IN HALF, creating TWO sakurais!
"new sakurai, we shll call you... sakuraix..." iwata said.
then roxas's theme played. sakuraix was only alive for 5 seconds but wanted to die.
"no!" mewtwo shitted oh gosh i mean shouted.
and then mewtwo used his anime and lucas used his psy love to fight iwata and miyamoto, killing them both and trapping their spirits in hell-lanterns, laterns which kept people in personal cramped hells forever.
then they cried tears of beauty and joy in each others arms as both sakurai flew away intot he heavens... and so did all the namco bandai employees.
mewtwo was now a good person. he had changed with love.
meanwhile, reggie was walking back in the nintendo offices, opened the door and as he did a nintendog leaped at him and bit onto him... ouch.
