AN: This is my second entry for Jello Forever January Chalenge with the same prompt: New Beginnings. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Me dun own it.
He stared at the red smiley on the wall. It was mocking him, telling him it was his fault for playing with a serial killer, and for that he had to pay an elevated price: his wife and daughter, murdered. 2 years had passed since their death and it was getting harder everyday not to show his feelings, that's why he put on a mask. Inside that mask he put on everyday, the charm smile and the sarcastic comments, there was loneliness, sadness, guilt and no one could see through him which he thought it was a bonus to add in his abilities.
There were no such things as psychics, but he was good at putting on a show.
He was standing in front of two tombstones, crying. 5 years had passed since his life was taken away from him. He blamed himself, he blamed the serial killer that he played with, he blamed everybody and even though he was trying to change that, a random person knowing his past would remind him of what had happened and he would go back to stage 0. Anger and remorse were in his heart. He could not take them away alone, without them. He knew his wife would want him to try and be happy again, but he couldn't because he didn't want too. God only knew how many women had seduced him and he always reclined, bringing the "I'm married" excuse. Somehow, he was sure his wife, wherever she was, was angry with him for still blaming himself and for not moving on with his life. He was still crying when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked behind him and saw understanding green-eyes, not pitiful. He wiped his own tears and they left in silence.
He stared at the picture he had taken when his little girl was 3 years old. He caressed the photo. He remembered taking this picture. She had chocolate all over her face, her front teeth showing, and such a beautiful smile she had, one that left him trying to control the tears that threatened to fall. He didn't noticed her presence until she called his name softly, not to startle him. He turned to find her with a soft smile gracing her features. It had been 8 years since his wife and daughter's death and she helped him when he needed.
He knew she could see trough him. Maybe she was the only person who really knew him better than himself, sometimes. He watched as she made her way to him and hugged him. Surprised, he held on to her and let his tears fall freely.
Another case and he had messes up. He behaved like a 5 year old, messing with the suspect. Once again, he was right, but she was mad as hell and she was right. He wasn't exactly one to admit when he was wrong, but he couldn't stand seeing her mad at him. He went to her office and sat on the couch, closing the door. She yelled at him and he just listened. He knew she was right and hated himself for making her angry. His heart softened towards her and he was letting her in, with the promise to never let her down.
He was having nightmares, only instead of finding his wife and daughter, he found her, lying in the bed, eyes wide opened, blood all over her body. He woke up screaming and got dressed in less than 5 minutes and left his house. She opened the door and almost fell. He held her tightly, afraid to let her go. She caressed his back soothingly and held him while he cried. He backed off and looked at her, touching her face, making sure she was still there with him. His eyes fell to her lips and he couldn't think straight anymore. Closing the gap between them, he let his lips caress hers slowly. That kiss led to another and another and they ended up in bed together. Afterwards, he refused to get some sleep. He stood there, her head resting on his chest and he watched her sleeping, letting her breaths soothe away the demons that followed him.
He got a lead on Red John's case. He went to her office. They needed to talk. They were dating for four months, and he knew she loved him, although she didn't tell him that. His heart was breaking, but she had to understand that he needed his revenge. He was in her office and she looked at him with those green eyes. She smiled but he didn't return the smile so she frowned. He had a file in his hands and she noticed it. Almost immediately, she was closing the walls around her and her eyes hardened. She didn't looked up and he, with sad blue eyes, left…for good. He didn't see her crying in her office as soon as he left. He didn't tell her he felt the same way about her.
Here he was in Massachusetts, on a crappy motel room, all alone with the Red John's case files spread all over the floor. Memories of her flooded into his mind…Her smile, her laugh, her lips, her body, but specially her eyes. She haunted his dreams every night during those 2 years since he went away. He knew he didn't deserve her. She deserved better. He was sure of that. Right now, he had to catch Red John and make him pay, but her face would always appear in front of him and he actually thought he was having hallucinations. His phone went off and he was not prepared for the news that awaited him on the other side of the conversation. She had been shot. The woman that haunted his soul had been shot. He grabbed his stuff and checked out of the motel, all the while booking tickets to the first flight to Sacramento. Red John was important but she was much more important to him, so off he went.
5 hours later he was at the hospital by her side when she woke up. He saw her looking at him and her eyes filling with tears and that was all it took for him to hug her and tell her how much he missed her, tell her to not scary him again like that, tell her he was sorry for all he'd done and he would never leave her. His heart skipped a beat when she put her fingers in his lips and told him they had to talk. It was a serious conversation, he was sure of that, so he sat on the bed near her, preparing himself for what he had to listen. To say he was shocked was an understatement. He certainly wasn't expecting her to say that she had his child, a boy named Timothy Keith Jane. His eyes filled with tears, his heart filled with a mix of emotions, but his soul was filled with joy and happiness… And it overwhelmed him, making him pull her into his arms, kissing away her tears, telling her he was sorry, once again, and looking her in the eyes and saying that he loved her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and their son.
Her smile made his heart flutter. She was beautiful, dressed in her white gown. Her eyes held the love she felt for him and he was the happiest man on Earth.
He saw their son carrying two precious bands. The ones that would make them one for the rest of their lives. If you asked him who Red John was, he would say he was a criminal who should be punished by the law and you could tell he didn't say that to please her, he really meant every word he pronounced. He trusted her with his life, heart and being and she trusted him equally. Their love could never be denied and he had the chance for a new beginning. If there was a God, he would be thanking Him right now. He focused on the words that would mark the beginning of a new journey,
"I do"
