I came up with this while listening to Dark on Me by Starset and just idk.
Cold. I feel so cold. All I see is darkness, an infinite void so dark, dots are starting to form in my vision. I try to move, to see if I'm still alone in the dark but it feels like all my blood and bones were replaced with cement. Moving seemed to take great amounts of energy. I should probably try not to move. I'm not cold, not warm, I'm not...anything at all. I can't see anything or hear anything. What happened? All I can remember is training in the bathhouse with everyone else, but my mind gets more and more clouded the more I try and remember anything else. Everyone looked so cheerful, adrenaline pumping in the heat of battle. Cheers and shouts. Praise for hitting the enemies weak spot. Something must have happened, something bad. This emptiness is everything but normal. My blood feels like it's freezing, chills making their way though out my body. Thoughts of despair manifest. They must be angry with me, for failing like this. That usually kind, happy smile on Yu's face replaced by pursed lips and glaring eyes. Kanji is probably cursing, face a bit red and teeth bared. Teddie must be making some weird bear-pun as usual only more spiteful. Naoto must be talking in a serious tone, overly-complicated words flowing from her mouth like a busted faucet. Yukiko and Chie must be telling everyone else how stupid I am for letting this happen.
But, the more I think about their quirks, the more empty I feel. Will I ever see their bright, smiling faces again? It would have been best if they went without me. They really don't need me, do they? Maybe they finally realized that I'm good for nothing. I'll never do something great. Those far-fetched dreams of being a hero and catching the murderer are the fever dreams of a immature brat. But, Yu just went with it, smiling while I ranted about things he probably never gave two shits about. His smile was always so kind and warm, like it could melt the coldest of hearts. I'll never see that smile again, will I? My stomach ties in dread-laced knots. I hope someday, he'll be the one to look up to me. Maybe someday, he won't think of me as just a stupid kid with nothing better to do but complain about how his life is so completely fucked up. He must be completely sick of me. He must hate me. Everyone hates me. I hate me.
Something stirs in my mind, a tiny light. My mind feels clearer; my body doesn't feel as heavy.
"...ke...?"
What...? Is someone calling me? Everything feels less lonely. I realize that my eyes have been shut this whole time. I stir a bit, trying to open my eyes. Impossible.
"...suke...?
Warmth. Warm enough to melt the coldest ice. Someone needs me, that worried, urgent voice
seems so familiar, so peaceful. Yes, it must be him. The one that always ends up saving me somehow. I need to thank him. I need to see that wonderful smile again. I'll do anything. I move my stiff arm. Upwards. Reaching up. Please.
"...Y-Yu..."
"Yosuke?!"
Blinding light. My Throbbing head. Warmth all around me. Watery eyes. A smile to rival the sun itself.
