So I'm just writing this for fun. I need more Rosex10 in my life, so why not? This could possibly be building up to a series 3 rewrite (and beyond), but I don't know yet. We'll see. Hopefully I'll have time... Until then, enjoy the story as Rose and 10 test the waters. This is also on tumblr, if you'd like to follow. There's a link on my profile.
If you'll be my boat
I'll be your sea
A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
Ebbing and flowing
And pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
- Boat and Birds; Gregory and the Hawk
Rose was gripping the lever with strength she didn't even know she had. She had to keep it online, but her hands were slipping. Every millimeter they moved, she felt. Every Dalek that moved past her frightened her, because what if one of them knocked into her and made her let go of the lever? She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could do this… she had to do this. She opened her eyes and looked at the Doctor. He was looking at her – only her. She didn't think she'd ever seen him look so afraid. She didn't like it when he looked afraid; if he were afraid, there was usually good reason for it.
She had to move her eyes away from his. She looked around, and noticed that the Daleks were flying past them in fewer numbers. Maybe it was almost over… if she could just hold on. As that thought ran through her mind, a Dalek flew past her at such velocity that the air made her lose her grip. She was hanging on by one hand now, and she could hear the Doctor shouting for her as she fought to bring her other arm back to the lever. It was no use; the void was pulling too hard on her.
She felt her hand slipping. It slipped more and more until, finally, she let go altogether. She felt herself flying towards the void, the coldness of it seeping out of the wall behind her. She locked eyes with the Doctor, but she could hardly see through her tears. She didn't want to go out like this. She wanted to stay with him forever. Suddenly, she remembered what the beast in the pit had said. The valiant child who will die in battle… Was that coming true now?
She was getting closer and closer, when suddenly, it stopped. She collided with the solid white wall and her vision went fuzzy; she'd definitely have a bump there for a while. She tried desperately to catch her breath, but she was close to hyperventilating. Had she survived? Certainly this wasn't the void. She closed her eyes and rested her head on the ground, her chest still heaving. She barely made out the footsteps rushing towards her before she felt herself being held against someone else's chest.
She focused her hearing on the heartbeats; the Doctor was here. They had done it. She was okay, and he was okay, and they were both together still. She didn't know if she were the one trembling, or if it were him, or if it were both of them. All she knew was that they stayed like that, huddled together against the wall, for at least an hour before either one of them dared to move or speak.
They did it. They had won.
Rose was lying in her room on the TARDIS, looking up at the ceiling. She wondered how long she'd been in here, but then remembered that time didn't mean anything at all when they were floating through the vortex. She was tired, but she couldn't go to sleep. Every time she did she was met with a white wall and the noise that the void made when it sucked all the Daleks and Cybermen into it. Sometimes it wasn't just that. Sometimes she would get sucked into the void; sometimes the Doctor would be the one to slip. No matter what, her dreams were less than pleasant anymore.
She knew she was being unreasonable. She had the Doctor, and she didn't regret keeping her promise to stay with him forever. She had the TARDIS, and she loved living here. She gave a small smile as the TARDIS hummed in her mind, as if she heard Rose's thoughts. She knew her mother was safe and sound in the other universe. She could be happy with Pete! Mickey could be happy with his gran, so why couldn't Rose put this behind her? Why couldn't she lose the pit in her stomach?
She sighed and rolled onto her side to look out the window. The TARDIS had made her bedroom look like the one in her mum's flat – at first, it was an exact replica – but after a while, things moved around. It got a tiny bit bigger, and the scene outside her window would change at the TARDIS' whim. Tonight it was a sunset on an alien planet she'd never seen before. It was entirely purple and blue and green; it was lovely. It must've been the TARDIS' attempt to calm her nerves. She must've known that Rose couldn't handle seeing London outside the window right now.
Rose rolled her eyes. What was she doing? This wasn't her. She wasn't someone who would sit around and mope all day long, and she wasn't being fair to the Doctor. He took the TARDIS to see the cosmos, and she was preventing him from doing that. Well, no more. She wouldn't give him any reason to miss out on the adventure he craved. She knew he was giving her time to grieve, but there wasn't anything for her to grieve. Her mother was alive, and so was Mickey. She was living in a time machine with an alien that she was pretty sure she loved, and she had all of time and space at her fingertips.
After a few moments, she stood from the bed and walked to her bathroom. She looked in the mirror; she looked awful. She picked up her hairbrush and ran it through her hair. It wasn't long since she had washed it, but she hadn't brushed it, and she let it dry as she slept. There were enough tangles that she learned her lesson the hard way. She grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet and washed her face. Once her face was dried off, she looked again – better, she thought, definitely better. She took a deep breath and let it out in one big huff, and gave a small smile to the image in the mirror. She could do this. She could be okay… she'd need tea to help out with that, though.
The Doctor was busying himself with tinkering on the TARDIS, while at the same time trying to think of a way to get a message to the other universe. Rose needed to say goodbye to her mother. She needed to see one last time that her mother was alive and well, and Jackie needed to see that Rose was the same; they both deserved that. He just didn't know how to get a message from here to there without tearing a hole in the universe.
If he were being honest, that wasn't the only reason he was busying himself with this. He was trying to be patient and give Rose as much time as she needed. He was the reason she lost her mother; it was the least he could do. The TARDIS gave a reproachful hum at his thoughts, but he ignored her. It was his fault, even if nobody else would acknowledge it. Still, patience wasn't his strong suit; when you have a time machine you don't really need to know patience.
The TARDIS gave his mind a little nudge, telling him to go talk to her. But was she ready? He sighed and climbed out from underneath the console and dusted his hands on his trousers. He walked down the hallway that lead to Rose's bedroom and lightly rapped on the door. There was no answer from inside, so he gently turned the knob in case she was asleep, but when he peeked inside she wasn't there. That was odd; she hadn't left her room in the equivalent of three Earth days.
"Where is she then, old girl?" he muttered to the TARDIS as he walked back to the console room. All the lights in the hallway opposite him lit up, so he made his way down that one. He stopped when he heard things moving around in the kitchen. He gave a mental thanks to the TARDIS and entered the room. Rose was there, pouring her tea into a mug and fixing it the way she liked it. He cleared his throat a little as he moved towards the island in the middle of the room, and she looked up at him with a small smile.
"Hello," she said.
He gave a small nod. "Hello," he replied. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm good… yeah," she said. "Want some?" she asked, gesturing towards the tea.
"Sure, yeah." He watched as she fixed his tea and then sat it in front of him. "Rose, we need to talk."
She looked at him, her expression unreadable. "About what?" she asked. He sighed and looked down at the mug in his hands. Before he could answer her, she blurted out; "I'm sorry."
His eyebrows shot to his hairline. "You're sorry?" She nodded, and he said; "For… what?"
She sighed and scowled into her drink. "I've been moping around for… I don't even know how long. It's not fair to you. You love adventure and running – and so do I! I've been keeping us both from fun and adventure."
"Rose, you just lost your mother. It's okay to feel sad. I'd be more worried if you weren't. Besides, I should be apologizing to you."
She shook her head. "Don't," she said. "This isn't your fault Doctor." He opened his mouth to reply, but she held her hand up. "No! Don't do that to yourself. You always put the blame on your shoulders, but you aren't the one who kept me here – I wanted to stay! I'd make the same choice all over again, because this is my home. You and the TARDIS… you're all I need."
"But your mother…"
"…is perfectly fine! She's alive! She's well! We're both big girls, we can handle it! I'll miss her like crazy, and she'll miss me, but we'll both be happy knowing that the other is right where she wants to be. I can't think of anything worse than being trapped in the parallel world without you there with me," she said.
He knew he was staring, but he couldn't help it. Once again, she'd found the right words to make him feel the slightest bit better. It's what she did best. Of course he'd still blame himself, but right now the guilt wasn't as overwhelming. He sighed and took a sip of his tea – which was cooling down more rapidly than he'd like. "I can't just stop blaming myself. I can't change how I feel."
"But it's not your fault. No matter what you think, I don't blame you, and I never will… ever," she said. There was one more phrase she was just dying to add onto the end of that sentence, but she couldn't; not yet, anyway. It wasn't the time. He'd get spooked and he'd wind up sending her home, or putting up even more barriers. No, she'd wait to admit that to him.
"So," he said in a chipper voice. He was trying to change the subject and lighten the mood. "You want to not be sad anymore, right?"
She nodded. "Yes…?"
"I think I have an idea," he said. He stood and rushed from the room. She put the cups in the sink and followed after him. He was gliding around the console, pushing buttons and pulling levers, and she wondered where they were going this time. As if hearing her thoughts, he said; "You need a break."
Her brow furrowed. Surely he wasn't sending her home. "Okay?" she said.
"We both do, if you think about it. I mean, saving worlds and species is great and all – I wouldn't give up that bit. It's the best bit of travelling, don't you think?" He saw her nod and continued. "Still, we won't do much good at saving people if we can't help ourselves once in a while. So, we're going somewhere."
She breathed a small sigh of relief. He wasn't sending her away because he thought he was bad for her. He wasn't using his guilt to push her away. "So, we're taking a vacation?" she asked.
"Yep!" he replied. "Besides, we have a time machine. The emergencies will still be there when we're ready to come back, right?"
She smiled. He was trying to give her a chance to get better. "Right," she said. "Besides, if you think about it – really, think about it – we're probably out there right now fixing the problems."
He cocked his head to the side and said; "I think I see what you mean. Still, that's a headache inducing train of thought, so let's not go there."
She chuckled and said; "Good idea." She moved to the jumpseat and sat cross-legged, watching him move around the console like a breeze. "So, where will this holiday be taking place?"
He looked across the console and winked at her. "It's a surprise. But… I hope you know how to swim." He instructed her to go get her swimsuit and things, and for the first time in a long while, she smiled a genuine smile as she rushed to her closet.
The Doctor continued to pilot the TARDIS to her intended destination, and smiled when he heard her land. She hummed happily in the back of his mind. He had only been to this planet once before, a long time ago, but he knew Rose would love it here. He thought back to the last few Earth weeks that they'd been floating through the vortex. He'd barely seen her smile, and she would stay camped out in her room for days at a time, and he didn't think he'd ever see her without tearstains on her face. He would never say it out loud, but he loved Rose. He hated to see her upset, and the smile she had when he told her they were going somewhere that required a bathing suit was like a breath of fresh air. Maybe she wasn't 100% okay yet, but she would be. If anyone could get through this, it would be his Rose.
Rose tied the sarong around her waist and hoped that the swimsuit she put on was appropriate. It wasn't exactly a bikini, but it wasn't a one-piece either. Plus, she'd covered as much as she could with the sarong. As she tied her hair up into a ponytail on the top of her head, a thought struck her; she'd be seeing the Doctor in swimming trunks. The thought almost caused her to fall into a fit of laughter. She'd seen him in many different situations, but never had she seen him in something as simple as swimming trunks. She couldn't wait…
She hurried back to the console room where the Doctor was rifling through a trunk he'd brought up from underneath the grating. He was wearing swim trunks, and a t-shirt, and no shoes. She couldn't stop the smile that grew on her face. If the goal was to make her feel better, it was working already. He turned to look at her, and stopped what he was doing.
"Don't laugh," she said.
"Wasn't gonna," he replied. "You look great."
She smiled and looked down. "Considering I'm human?" she teased. He grinned and returned to looking through the trunk. She walked to where he was a knelt in front of him. He had so much stuff in there – it must be bigger on the inside as well. "So, what are you looking for?" she asked.
"Uh…" he didn't say anything else until he grabbed onto a bottle of something and said; "This!"
"A sharable pack of gum?" she asked. "Do I have bad breath?"
He laughed. "No," he said. "This is a surprise. You'll see what it's for soon, but until then… Allons-y!" They both rushed to the door, and she looked at the Doctor in anticipation. "After you," he said.
She took a breath and opened the door. She kept her eyes shut, because this was her favorite part. She wanted to be completely out of the TARDIS before she saw what was out there. She let her other senses rule first. She heard him step out behind her, and she took a breath. It smelled… different. The air smelled slightly floral. It was warm here, too, and she could hear running water. Finally, she opened her eyes, and what she saw took her breath away.
They were standing on a beach, facing the ocean, but that wasn't what shocked her. The landscape was completely white. It wasn't a shocking, artificial white – like a hospital. Instead, it was a warm, comforting white. It reminded her of a picture she'd seen of those houses on an island in Greece. It looked like there were caves carved into the rocky cliff face. A waterfall was pouring over the side and into the lagoon below. The water itself was the bluest blue she'd ever seen – it almost put the TARDIS' blue to shame! Rose smiled at the indignant hum in the back of her head.
"So, what d'ya think?" the Doctor asked.
Rose shook her head, and her mouth hung open like an idiot. "I just… it's…" she couldn't finish the sentence. "Where are we?" she asked.
He smiled at her speechlessness. "We are on a beach known as Laki Lagoon, in the Solar district of the planet Tethys."
"It's beautiful," she breathed.
He looked around. "I suppose it is, yeah."
"So, what are we doing first?" she asked.
"Well, we are definitely going to want to swim, but we'll need to get permission first. To swim without permission is the highest offense on this planet," he explained.
Rose nodded. "Oh, okay then. We don't want to get locked up… again," she teased.
He rolled his eyes. "Get sentenced to prison one time…" he muttered.
She laughed and shook her head as she followed him to wherever they'd get permission from. She slipped her hand into his, and he smiled at her. Things were slowly but surely getting back to normal. As they walked he explained different things to her: why the air smelled floral, how this planet was found, what happened on his first trip here. She still felt the pit in her stomach – the one that made her feel like she could burst into tears at any given moment – but with her hand in his the feeling could be overlooked easier than when she was on her own.
Somehow, she knew, things would be alright.
