House was very sad today. House was bored. House was playing with his ball, when suddenly, Cuddy came in. House said "get the fuck out of my office bitch" and Cuddy obliged. House walked around, and then 13 walked in. "Hey bitch, what you want" House questioned. 13 was like "dude I have so much Parkinson's Disease right now so I want to have sex with you". "k", House agreed, and then they had lots and lots of sex. After, House told the bitch "to get out of my motherfucking office" and then went back to playing with his ball.
13 was bored today, so she decided to go to her Parkinson's Disease doctor. Since she was in Princeton Plainsboro, she had to have a conversation while walking down the hallways. "Hey doctor what's up today", 13 inquisitively asked. "13, your Parkinson's is gone" the doctor said before he walked into a pillar because he was texting. "Hooray!" said 13, as she was happy she didn't have Parkinson's anymore. "It must've been House's magical semen, which cures any disease!"
13 decided to tell House of his magical semen. "Hey House your semen is magical and cures any disease" posited 13 to House. "k whatever bitch, you're welcome" droned House. "Get out", he said to 13. 13 was very happy, because she would now become pregnant and steal all of House's money for child support. He would never make any money from his magical semen.
=======2 weeks later======
13 was annoyed at the pregnancy test. It was obviously broken, as it wouldn't show she was pregnant. "Damn pregnancy test, I know I am pregnant!" said 13 to nobody in particular. But at the same time, at a real hospital in Princeton (because House knew Princeton Plainsboro was bullshit), House learned that his sperm donation was rejected. House wanted the $200 from the sperm donation, and he was saddened to learn he couldn't get a used Xbox. "Bitch, why won't you give me my money. I gave you my semen" House demanded. "You are sterile, your semen kills every disease, but also kills sperm" the sperm clerk said. "Barnacles! That is really bad!" House exclaimed.
House realized that his magical semen could cure any disease, so he went to Princeton Plainsboro and asked some random janitor to put his semen in the sprinkler system. "What the fuck?!" the janitor asked, "Why would I possibly do that?". "Here is 2 dollars, let me do it". House bribed. "OK, go ahead" allowed the janitor. But when the janitor looked in his hand, it was a 2 dollar coin! From Canada! "Oh no, I've been tricked again! This is horrible!" But by the time the janitor realized his mistake, House already triggered the sprinkler system, and semen was flooding into every room at once.
"What the fuck?!" said one of the patients. "There's a lot of seamen in here", somebody said in the Veteran's ward. "Foreman, there is too much semen! House put it in the water supply" tattled the janitor. "Paging Dr. House, paging Dr. House" went over on the PA system. "Just wait till he sees how everyone is cured!" House said.
