Dick was doing a handstand in the middle of the cave while talking to Tim, who was sitting at the computer, typing. "Tim, it's not that bad."
Tim turned to face him with a blank expression and offered a curt nod in the affirmative. "Right, of course…sorry to bother you."
Tim got up to leave as Dick stammered in an attempt to say something, but Tim just walked away. When Tim got to his room, he pulled out his laptop and just started writing.
It's not that bad...that's what I'm told; but who gets to decide how bad it is? What makes it bad, but not THAT bad? I mean, what's the scale here? What's our control group? Hell, what's the variable? What are we comparing it to? Are we comparing this situation to other 'normal' situations? Because if that's the case, then yeah, it is THAT bad. But if we're comparing it to Blackgate, than no, it's not that bad. It's still bad, just not being in a maximum security prison bad.
Okay, thinking about it, if you have to compare your situation to prison--a maximum security prison at that--then it probably is that bad, and you should probably just ignore people who tell you otherwise, because they clearly have no idea what they're talking about, right?
Then again, who am I to decide who gets ignored? I mean, it's not like my opinion has meant anything to anyone around me for some time. In fact, I can't actually recall the last time that my opinion has actually been taken into consideration. I'm told it's because I haven't been assertive lately, but what's the point of being assertive if I'm only going to be shut down for bothering to try. It's just easier not to go there, right?
Tim stopped typing the moment he heard a knock on his door. He quickly shut his laptop, and put it away before grabbing a book off the nightstand. "Come in," he spoke as he opened the book to a random page in the middle.
Dick opened Tim's door to find him sitting on his bed. "I was wondering if we could talk."
Tim raised an eyebrow at him. "About?"
Dick sighed as he sat down on the bed. "Look, I know what I said upset you. I just don't know why. I mean, I didn't say anything that wasn't true. Don't you think you're being just a little melodramatic?"
Tim didn't say anything. He simply made a show of looking at his watch. "Yeah, I guess I am, but right now I've got to go." Before Dick could say anything else, Tim was gone.
***
Forty minutes later Tim found himself sitting on his bike outside of a bar--and he wasn't really sure how he had gotten there. He remembered getting on his bike, but that was about it. Everything else was just a blur of streetlights and anger...anger at Dick for not understanding and calling him melodramatic, but mostly anger at himself for not being able to just talk with another human being. Hell, what did he know? Maybe he was being melodramatic, and he just needed to shut up and deal.
"What's the matter, little bird?"
Tim tensed immediately, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the nickname, or the person talking. "What do you want, Jason?"
Jason shrugged lazily as he leaned against Tim's bike. "What do I want? You're the one in my part of town. So, let's talk, baby bird."
Tim laughed, but there was no humor in it. "You and I don't talk."
Jason smirked at him. "Well, I could kick your ass if you want."
Tim thought about just leaving, but it wasn't like he really had anywhere else to go. "If you want to…feel free."
Jason frowned at the response. "Now, you're just taking the fun out of it."
Tim shrugged, and continued to stare past Jason. "I'm told I have that habit."
Jason rolled his eyes. The kid was certainly a buzz kill. "Yeah, and you used to have a habit of fighting, so why is the little bird out by himself in this part of town...in civvies, no less?"
Tim stared at him impassively. "No reason."
"Wrong answer." Jason was getting annoyed with how little of a reaction he was getting from the kid. Normally, Tim would at least show some anger while dealing with him.
Tim raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh?"
Jason put his arm around Tim's shoulder just to see him tense. "You've spent a lot of time with the bat, so I'm sure you don't know how this talking thing works, but short or one word answers do not a conversation make."
Tim shrugged off Jason's arm. "I wasn't aware we were having a conversation, Jason."
"Well, we would be if you'd fucking talk." Jason spoke as he punched Tim in the arm to get a reaction.
Tim just blinked a few times before staring at Jason incredulously. "I'm sorry; are you actually encouraging me to talk?"
Jason shrugged as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "Maybe."
Tim looked around swiftly. "Okay, what universe did I fall into?"
Jason sighed as he pulled a cigarette out of the pack. "I'm bored, and you look...dead."
"Since when do you care?"
Jason rolled his eyes as he searched for his lighter. "Look, if you get fucked up in this part of town the bat will be all over me, so don't mistake saving my own ass as giving a damn about you, kid."
Tim nodded once. "Right, of course…thank you."
Jason paused in lighting his cigarette to stare at him bemusedly. "Thank you? For what?"
"You don't like me, and you've never pretended to. I like that. It's oddly straightforward…I don't get that often."
Jason removed his unlit cigarette from his mouth as he turned to face Tim fully. "Did you take a head shot?"
Tim raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"
"Did. You. Get. Hit. In. The. Head?" Jason enunciated each word slowly for Tim.
Tim shook his head. "Not that I can recall, why?"
Jason folded his arms over his chest out of annoyance. "Because you're acting rather stupid, and I've heard you're the smart Robin."
Tim shrugged again. "I guess you heard wrong."
Jason grabbed Tim's face and forced Tim to look him in the eyes. "You're drunk, aren't you?"
Tim laughed--a real honest to god laugh. "No."
Jason continued to search Tim's face for any hint of drunkenness. "What's so funny?"
Tim pushed Jason's hand away before shaking his head as if to clear it. "Clearly, I'm fucked up enough to get even your attention, and yet it's all me. I don't even get to claim this is because of some substance. It's all just me…just pure screwed up Timmy."
Jason ran a hand through his hair. This little talk was not on his agenda for tonight. "Does Dick know where you are?"
"I think the real question is does, Dick care where I am."
Jason sighed. "You know, you're making it impossible to fuck with you, because it just wouldn't be any fun."
Tim raised an eyebrow at him. "Am I supposed to feel bad about that?"
"I don't know, but I still think there's something wrong with you."
Tim laughed again, but this time there was little humor in it. "Of course there's something wrong with me, Jason. I'm still here."
Jason raised an eyebrow at that. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, come on. When you and I run into each other one or both of us ends up leaving in pain. Therefore, the moment you said anything to me all of my instincts said 'just start up the bike and leave', and yet here I am." Tim gestured widely to his surroundings.
Jason rolled his eyes at Tim's response. "Well, it's not like I've attacked you…yet."
"Which is seriously making me question which earth I'm on."
"Give me a break…attacking you now is like kicking an injured puppy, and I have more self respect than that…not to mention standards."
Tim glared at him. "I'm not an injured puppy."
Jason smirked at that. He was finally getting an emotional response, and he loved it. "Right, injured puppies are less pathetic."
Tim shrugged. "Well, we've all got our talents."
"Yeah, too bad we haven't actually found yours."
Tim shook his head. "You're assuming I have any.
Jason smacked Tim upside the head. He wasn't playing along, and that was annoying Jason more than anything else right now. "What is wrong with you?"
Tim lazily shrugged again. "Lack of sleep and caffeine, combined with a whole lot of life sucking and Dick being…never mind."
Jason perked up at that. "So, Dick's being an ass?"
Tim shook his head slightly. "Nope, I'm just being melodramatic."
"You're not standing on a bridge."
Tim was truly confused by the response. "What?"
"Well, if your going to claim that you're being melodramatic, there should be a bridge involved…and a hair flip…chicks dig the hair flip."
"And you asked me if I hit my head?" Tim pointed to himself before continuing. "You aren't even making sense."
"Sure I am." Jason smirked again. "You're just too screwed up to see it."
"Right. I should go." Tim turned on his bike, but as he was pulling away from the curb Jason jumped onto the back of it. "What do you think you're doing?"
"You were starting to get interesting. I didn't even think that was possible, and now you're leaving, so I'm coming with…" Jason leaned forward, and grabbed the handle bars, forcing Tim forward, so he could use the throttle.
Tim pushed Jason back enough that he could drive. "Can we go back to you trying to kill me? It's far less creepy."
"I'll kill you when you have your head on straight." Jason smiled to himself. "This is why I have dignity."
Tim rolled his eyes at the response. "Oh, really?"
"Just shut up and drive."
"You know, I could just sorta miss this next turn," Tim gestured in front of him before returning his hand to the handle bars. "And then neither one of us would have to deal with each other ever again."
Jason wanted to reach up and smack Tim in the head again, but he figured doing that while driving was a bad idea. "God, who let you out of the cave? I think we need to examine your head."
"I'm just stating our options."
Jason growled at that. "That is not an option."
Tim turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder before turning back to the road. "I didn't think you'd fear death, Jason."
"That's it! Pull over! I'm driving!"
Tim shrugged as he switched lanes. "If you really think that'd be better."
"I do, and you're going to tell me what you're on."
Tim pulled off on the side of the road, and switch places with Jason. "I'm not on anything."
Jason glared at him suspiciously before getting back on the bike. "Maybe that's your problem."
Tim raised an eyebrow at that. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Jason took a calming breath before starting up the bike again. "Just shut up until we get to my place."
Tim reeled back in surprise. "Your place? Why are you taking me there?"
"Because it's better than being here."
Neither one of them spoke again until they were inside Jason's apartment. Jason gestured for Tim to sit down on the couch. "Now, you're going to sit here while I get us something to drink, and then you're going to tell me what the hell is wrong with you."
"Who says there's anything wrong with me?"
"I do." Jason called back to him from the kitchen.
"What do you know?"
Jason came back in the room holding two bottles of water. He handed one to Tim as he sat down on the floor in front of him. "Looking at you right now is telling me everything I need to know."
"And what's that?"
"That you're a disgrace as a Robin." Jason spoke before taking a large gulp of water.
Tim shrugged as he opened his own bottle of water. "Well, as long as we all agree here."
Jason put the cap back on his water before dropping it beside him on the floor. "God, remind me to find the person who called you intelligent and set them straight."
"Okay."
Jason leaned forward slightly. "You do realize this is the part where you're supposed to give an emotional response, right?
Tim slumped back into the couch. "And what if I'm just not up for showing emotion?"
Jason stood up and began pacing the length of the room. "Too damn bad…you're human deal with it."
"You're missing the point."
Jason stopped in his pacing to turn towards Tim. "And what exactly is the point?"
"I'm just too exhausted to care."
"I'd say that you're just creeping into daddy bat's territory, but you're not, are you? See, at least he broods. You're just…" Jason trailed off while he searched for the right word.
Tim tapped his fingers against the water bottle he was still holding. "I'm just what, Jason?"
"I don't know…dead?"
Tim put the bottle of water down before standing up and walking over to Jason. "Really? Because I'm just being me, and I don't get why you think that's so interesting."
Jason threw his hands into the air out of frustration. "Who the hell said that this was interesting?"
"Well, that is why you hopped onto the back of my bike, isn't it? I was just going to drive away and we both could have continued on with our lives, but you chose to follow. You chose to…" Tim trailed off not really sure what he wanted to say.
Jason glared at him. "What? I chose to what?"
"Well, I was going to say care, but you don't care, Jason, and that's one of your more redeeming qualities." Tim started to walk back to the couch.
"Fuck you, kid." Jason growled as he followed Tim to the couch. "I care…just not about the shit that Bruce and the rest of you want me to care about."
Tim spun around to face him. "What the hell are you talking about? The rest of us? When the hell did I ever tell you to care about ANYTHING?"
Jason rolled his eyes at him. "Oh, come on, kid, none of you actually have to say anything. It's written all over your faces every time I see one of you."
Tim folded his arms across his chest. "Oh, really?"
"Yeah."
Tim sat back down on the couch, and turned to face Jason. "So, what am I supposedly 'telling' you to care about? Because, right now, I really don't care about anything, so I'm not really getting how I could tell you to care about something."
"You…you're making me care about you, and trust me," Jason glared viciously. "I don't like it."
"And how the fuck am I managing to do that, Jason? Because, right now, I don't even care about me."
Jason shook his head ruefully. "And that's the truly fucked up thing, kid."
Tim stared at him impassively. "Explain."
"You…you've always been…weird, creepy, brainy, and kind of a jerk, but you've never been like…this."
"And tell me, Jason, what exactly is this?" Tim stressed the last word, trying desperately to understand what Jason was talking about.
"You're like…" Jason trailed off trying to put it into words.
"Like what, Jason?" Tim was getting annoyed. He didn't like being confused.
Jason moved to sit next to Tim on the couch. "You're like every insane, dark, and deranged person we track down at night."
Tim rolled his eyes at him. "Oh, that's just great, coming from you."
Jason folded his arms over his chest. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You were one of them, Jay…hell, you still kinda are."
"Yeah, but you're worse than any of us."
Tim raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh, really? How is that exactly?"
"You don't have any reason."
Tim was just getting more and more confused as the conversation progressed. "I don't have any reason for what?
"You don't have any reason to exist."
Tim scoffed at that. "You say it like that's necessary."
Jason shrugged. "I don't know if it's necessary, but I'm sure it helps."
Tim raised an eyebrow at that. "Oh, really?"
"Yeah."
Tim folded his arms over his chest again. "Well, then tell me something, Jason, what the hell is your reason?"
Jason shrugged. "Um…well, I guess because I'm back."
Tim was genuinely surprised by the answer. "What?"
"Kid, I'm not dead."
Tim stared at him wondering why that mattered. "So?"
"So, why waste my second chance?"
Tim scoffed again. "You consider what you do not wasting it?"
"Compared to what you're doing…hell yeah."
Tim shook his head. "I don't get it."
"Don't get what?"
"You shouldn't even be here, so why bother using it…especially for what you do?"
Jason shrugged as he leaned back into the couch. "Because I have to do something to pass the time."
"What, and reading a book wasn't good enough for you?"
"I find real life to be far more interesting."
Tim leaned forward, and placed his forearms on his thighs. "I don't."
"Yeah, well not all of us are like you."
Tim raised an eyebrow at him. "Meaning?"
"Meaning, I get the feeling here that you'd like to kill yourself--although I can't imagine where I picked that up from--but the rest of us prefer not to end it so soon…especially when it was already taken away once before."
Tim hummed to himself for a moment. "So you, like, actually feel real emotions."
"Fuck you, you know what? I don't even know why I stopped you. I should have just let you go jump off a bridge or something."
"If I remember correctly you found me outside of a bar…not a bridge."
"Sometimes a bar can lead to a bridge."
Tim smirked...barely. "Really? Because I thought a road usually led to a bridge. Damn, all those maps lied to me."
Jason rolled his eyes. "You think you're so fucking clever, don't you?"
Tim returned to staring at him impassively. "Why would I think that? I mean, you've only been telling me all night how dumb I am."
"That's because you're acting stupid…despite your intelligence."
"What intelligence?"
Jason sighed to himself. "You're so annoying."
"You followed."
Jason raised an eyebrow at him. "What's your point?"
"My point is you're the only reason I'm here."
Jason glared at him. "Trust me, I find myself regretting that decision more and more each second."
"Well, in that case, I'll just leave." Tim stood up, and began walking towards the door.
"Yeah, and go where? I doubt Dick wants your pathetic ass around."
Tim stopped, but didn't turn around, as he shrugged. "Maybe I'll take your advice and find a bridge." He glanced over his shoulder before continuing to the door.
"Hey, whoa…if you want to kill yourself fine, but don't lay that on me."
"Don't worry, Jason…no one would ever expect you to take responsibility for anything."
Tim was about to pull the door open, but was stopped by Jason grabbing his bicep and pulling him back to face him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
"Nothing." Tim glanced down at Jason's hand still holding firmly onto his upper arm. "May I go now? I have things to do."
"Like what?"
Tim shrugged. "Stuff, what's it to you?"
"I don't need daddy bats and Dick on my ass because I let you walk out of here and you went and offed yourself."
Tim stared at him blankly. "I have no intention of such."
Jason released Tim before folding his arms over his chest. "Then what were you doing in my part of town tonight?"
The corners of Tim's mouth twitched slightly as he shrugged lazily. "Same as you, I guess."
Jason raised an eyebrow at Tim's expression. "Meaning?"
"I was bored and needed a place to be." Tim turned towards the door once again, and tossed, "Have a good night, Jason," over his shoulder before leaving without another word.
The End
