The toxic liquid burned his throat. The taste lingered on his tongue as he continued to take another shot. No matter how much he drank, it didn't take his mind off of today. His eyes darting on the magnetic calendar on the refrigerator. The date circled with red marker. His mother was the culprit. It sure as hell wasn't Merle who did it. Setting down the shot glass on the kitchen counter, his eyes took in the messy apartment. His business textbooks scattered on the living room floor. The crumpled study guides on the sofa. Another all-nighter for the sake of a piece of paper that determined worth in society.
A diploma that his mother and brother pressured him in getting. Convincing him that he was the only one who could make something decent of himself. For once, he believed them. With his dad in jail, there was no need to relive the past. The many nights he and Merle had to pull the furious drug addict off their mom. Demanding more money for them. The nights the man would disappear for weeks and show up high at their schools. Begging to see them…..threatening them. All that pain and hate gave their mother the strength to press charges, but the years locked away was not enough.
Ring, Ring
Ignoring the vibration of his phone, Daryl didn't need to read the screen to see who it was. Not another reminder.
His life was coming together. He and Merle reached a mutual respect and understanding. No longer were they blaming each other for not being strong enough to protect their mother or their father from himself.
Cleaning up his mess, he set his phone on the living room table. Her name appearing on the screen. The chocolate skinned go-getter. His mother was relentless. If he wouldn't answer her calls, the woman knew he would answer his friend's.
Michonne. The most unlikely person he expected to be friends with on campus. The girl who was nice enough to let him have the last Chemistry 101 book on the shelf. She claimed he looked like he was having a bad day. And he was. He wasn't used to anything outside of his own backyard. Too many places. Buildings. People. Choices. And somehow the ebony young woman could sense his nervous breakdown as she gave him a tour of the campus. This was the beginning of a three year friendship that he wouldn't trade for anything.
Hitting the ignore button, he knew he would hear about this later. Hearing the constant moans from the other room, he smirked. At least his other brother was having a good time. He would live vicariously through Rick. The fact that he had a beautiful woman wanting to spend forever with him made him envy his best friend. It didn't matter if they constantly took breaks, Rick had this ability of making everything whole again. Hearing the door open, his eyes were on the couple.
"What did I do this time?" The leader rolled his eyes as his girlfriend put her shirt on. Following her into the living room, he apologized to Daryl with his eyes.
"Nothing." Lori stated as Rick placed his hand over his head.
"How am I supposed to fix whatever is wrong when I don't know what it is." Daryl shook his head as he grabbed his books and left them behind.
Seeing them together, no one would believe that they were highschool sweethearts. The quintessential, cliché romantic couple.
Love.
Then marriage.
Then kids.
And old age.
Rick didn't know when they drastically changed into two different people. Or maybe they were the same person they always were. People grew apart. But they were too afraid to fully let go. Their mindless arguments. Him not missing her when she was gone. Or even wanting her closer when she was near. No reason to go was never a good reason to stay.
"That's what you do best isn't it?" Lori's irritation only frustrated him more. "You fix things."
"So you are angry because I am trying to be a good boyfriend to you? What the hell do you want from me Lori? When I don't show emotion there is a problem. When I do there is a problem. Maybe the problem isn't me but you." The leader exclaimed as the beautiful brunette's mouth dropped.
"Is that how you feel or is that how Andrea feels?" Rick sat down on the sofa as he put on his pants. Bored of this conversation and his girlfriend's jealousy.
"So this is what this argument is really about?" Lori paced at his nonchalant demeanor.
Andrea had been apart of his life since they were in diapers. Always the peacemaker. At times she did go to far, but he admired her for her fight. Good friends were hard to come by. And he would not give that up. He watched her grow from a little girl into a breathtaking woman.
"Rick you are not going to make me feel as if I am the one in the wrong. Our relationship is our relationship. The way you discuss us with her. No one should….."
"Is that what you tell Carol when you discuss 'us'? Why can't you trust me?"
He mistook protectiveness for jealousy. There was nothing wrong with wanting to keep what she had. Though she denied it, Andrea wanted what she had. Claiming it was friendship. But lingering eyes. Long hugs. And whispers in each other's ears told her otherwise. They had been friends since kindergarten, she had her chance. And she would do all in her power to keep her at bay. Now she saw what the other saw in Rick.
Dedicated.
Loyal.
Wise.
Good hearted.
They were no longer children growing up in the same town, but two women wanting the same thing.
TWDTWDTWDTWDTWD
Her tablet in her hand. Andrea was stunned by the man's deep brown eyes that was giving her his order. Flecks of gold and green that saw into her soul. Eyes like Rick.
Rick Grimes. Her best friend. The boy grew into the greatest man she had ever known. Too bad it took her losing him to Lori to finally see him in this light. The natural skilled leader did his best to protect her. To Listen to her. It was supposed to be a silly crush. A crush easily forgotten with random hook-ups and flirtations. She ignored how she felt when it was just them. Thinking that there was once a time where that "look" was in his eyes. That look that told her she was the one he truly wanted….
"You alright miss?" the customer asked with a gracious smile.
"Yes." She nodded. "You wanted the rice with t-bone steak, and lemonade." Repeating his order as she grabbed his menu.
Walking through the double doors, she gave his order to the cook. Smiling as her best friend nudged her gently, the blonde grabbed the pitcher of tea on the small table.
"You alright?" Michonne placed her hair in a high ponytail. Both sneaking in a couple minutes of chatter in the mist of the hustle and bustle of the kitchen. Servers moving around each other. Chefs asking for more ingredients.
"Yeah. I'm good." She lied to her sister.
"Why haven't you told him how you felt?" The warrior read the peacemaker's true emotion.
Andrea wasn't that girl to take something that belonged to others. Even though she could easily argue that Rick was hers, she waited to late to act on her feelings. Her mind wandered to that day in highschool. Her sophomore year. The day she saw Lori and him kiss at the lockers. Her heart crashed against her stomach. And since then, the two were inseparable. But she was always there to remind him of who he was.
"Rick's not going to leave her. We all know that." Despite Andrea's discouraging words, Michonne tried to put light in her.
"Why don't we go to the…" She tried to offer.
"Sorry Meesh. But I just want to go home and listen to sad music all night." The blonde shrugged as the redneck entered the little restaurant.
"Besides you got company." She took her apron off as she headed towards the back to clock out. At least, Michonne could depend on a man like Daryl in her life.
Daryl sat down in the booth as he took out his phone. His daily ritual when he visited her on his break from the mechanic shop. Waiting for the lunch rush to die down, he looked through his pictures as he felt an unatural tug of his lips. His favorite picture of them together. Not that he would tell her. They were just playing around. His arm around her back as she held onto him. Resting her head on his chest, they smiled as he took the picture.
"I can't believe you still have that picture. That was from last year." Daryl jumped at her voice as she sat beside him in the booth. Her leg touching his as she noticed his distress. "Do you want to talk about it or just ignore it for a little bit longer?"
That was why he cared for her so. She respected him for who he was. And she didn't try to change him or make him feel as if he needed to.
"I'm surprised my mom didn't tell you." He shrugged as the girl smelled the liquor on his breath.
She hated when he retreated in himself like this. He always carried the weight of his families' struggles. His father being 'gone'. Worrying about his mother entering into another destructive relationship. Or his brother staying out of 'trouble'. Yet he managed to stay on the honor roll in college and provide her with his presence after she had arguments with her parents about her future.
That was the thing. It was her future. And if she didn't want to be a lawyer anymore, it would be her choice to regret. But this was not about her. It was about him….
"All she said was that you weren't answering your phone. Whatever it is it's really important to her." She grasped his hand as he shook his head.
She should have run away from him a long time ago. All he had was tragedy. The only triumph he had was her as a friend. And Rick and Andrea. But he could not weigh down this woman with his problems. Even if her warm eyes welcomed them with open arms.
"Tell me." Michonne made him look at her. Moving his chin in her direction, she didn't understand why her touch didn't make him flinch like others.
"Mom wants meh to go visit him. That man in jail." The warrior tensed at this revelation as the renegade gripped his phone tightly. "I think she thinks he will come to this epiphany that he will apologize for how he treated me and Merle. He has no remorse."
"You don't know that Daryl." She tried to be positive. "It's been 4 years now. He has had a lot of time to think about what he did to you guys. What does Merle think?"
"that mom is crazy as hell for visiting him. And I am even crazier for telling her I would go visit him today. And fer once Merle may be right. After all he did to us, she has found some way to forgive. She tries to make us see that he is still our father. Out of all the times he has bailed on me, I just didn't think Merle would actually have a legitimate reason." The two laughed as they understood his brother's hostility.
"I'll come with you." Michonne volunteered as he shrugged. "Besides you don't need to drive in this state. And Rick and Andrea have their own problems." She smiled sadly as he tightened his grip on her hand.
She didn't mind being his rock one bit.
TWDTWDTWDTWD
A relationship should not be this complicated. Why couldn't things just click? Like it did with Andrea. The beautiful blonde whose smile made everything fit into place. Helping him deal with his parents' divorce. The nights he snuck into her room to get a good night's rest when his parents' arguments got too loud. She did not throw him out. She only moved over in her bed to give him room. They experienced every memory together….
His friend was an irreplaceable part of his life. A part of his routine. Her soft words were engrained in his mind. He was so used to her being beside him that he was driving to her now. The leader needed to hear her say that this was….that didn't matter. Being near her was just what he needed.
Standing at her apartment, he knocked on her door. Waiting on her patiently, her car was in the parking lot. Unless, she rode with Michonne. Sitting down on the pavement, he placed his hands on his head. It would only be a matter of time before they would turn away from him. They were tired of him and Lori problems. He was too. Picking himself up, he began to walk towards his car as Andrea watched him leave from the other side of the peephole.
"Just get in your car and never come back." She spoke her thoughts loudly as her heart clutched.
He was sitting in his car, searching for something.
"No. no." She said as he came back with a key in his hand. Why did she give it him in the first place? Opening her door, she had to save face some type of way.
"I was in the bathroom. Sorry about that." Rick knew she was going to be a driven lawyer by the way she lied in his face easily.
"Yeah." The young man said as he let himself inside. "so how was work?" He saw her books opened on her study table along with the ipod he gave her.
"Can we just cut to the chase? What happened between you and Lori? I have to study for an exam." Her eyes hard as her golden hair framed her angelic face.
Folded arms. Reddened cheeks. Rarely he ever saw her like this. She was able to take care of everyone. But he forgot that she needed to be taken care of. He would put his problems aside for her.
"Andrea….." He approached her. Taking her slim form in his. Her chest resting against his as he smelled her vanilla shampoo.
Closing her eyes, the blonde wanted nothing more than to never leave his arms. The strong arms that didn't belong to her. That reminded her that she was enabling her heart to never let go. This bond they had had to be broken. Quickly.
"Rick I can't do this anymore." The man gave her a questionable look. Did he hear her right? "I can't be here to give you advice about your relationships. Or let alone advice at all."
"What?" He asked. "Is it because of….."
"No. This is my decision. It's just not a good idea." Their eyes met as his hands pulled her waist closer.
"Why then?" Thoughts rushed as he pictured his life without her. The pit in his stomach growing deeper along with his fear.
"Because." The grey eyed beauty did her best to not speak the truth. "How can I give you advice when I have never had a stable relationship myself. It just wouldn't be right for me to keep interfering."
"Andrea you don't interfere. You make things better. I can live without Lori but I can't do this without you." He tried to save himself. "Your friendship."
"Rick you have to." Removing herself from his arms as he urgently gripped her wrist. "Please leave."
"I can't. You'll be alright if you leave me, but I won't. I'm going to be lost without your laughter. That assurance that I am doing something right. Just your words in general."
"You have Lori for that."
"No I don't. I'm not happy with her. Not the same way I am with you." He pleaded.
Lori's suspicions were right. He was the manipulator. The bad guy who was using one girl because he couldn't have the one he really wanted. She was right here in front of him. Until now, he thought he didn't have a chance. His dreams at night of the gorgeous woman was overlooked in the morning. But he couldn't ignore her eyes now.
"Rick. Stop making this so hard for me." His hand slipped into hers.
"Its not hard. It took us long enough to realize this. I want you. If I were to ask you what I should do now what would you tell me."
"….." She stared at the carpet underneath her feet. Anything to keep her from liking his hand in hers. Years of running away from this collided head on. The day had come when she and Lori had switched places in his heart. Her heart swelled as he waited for her response.
"I would tell you to be with me." Andrea said naturally as Rick processed her words. Following her to the door, he pulled her into him once again.
"But that doesn't stop the fact that you are with Lori. And you are never going to let her go." She released herself as she grabbed her purse.
Watching her leave him behind, Rick knew there were no words to make her stay.
TWDTWDTWDTWDTWD
Their kind should never mix. That was how his father saw this world. Whether high or sober, he never understood that no one could make it alone. Or that his actions stigmatized his family. Which is why he shouldn't be here in her house. Waiting for Michonne to take a shower, his eyes never got used to the wooden floors, marble counter tops, fine china and chandeliers of her parents' home. Three years had passed and it still made him wander why this pristine, graceful young woman took the time to notice his potential.
Who would have ever guessed that the daughter of one of the richest families in town would be best friends with the son of one of the town's poorest? That was how others saw the Dixons. She did not. Getting out of the shower, she heard his light whistle downstairs.
Luckily, her father was going to be working late today. The man was going to have to accept the fact that he was her friend. Her mother eventually did. Why couldn't he?
Daryl refused to make excuses for himself. Despite the backlash he received from others, it didn't discourage him. He worked harder to prove his professors wrong. She admired that and found strength in it. If Daryl could defy the odds, then she could go against hers. He was man of honor and virtue. He would stand alone if he was the only one believed in his cause. Quiet and patient, she was learning from him everyday.
Walking down the stairs, he stood up as his eyes smiled. Though his stoic facial features struck others oddly, the warrior found it reassuring.
"You ready?" He only nodded as her loose ponytail showed her beautiful face.
Grabbing her hand, they headed toward her car. Michonne trusted he knew she would always be there for him.
The redneck wished that her touch could take away all the feelings he had run away from. Staring at the healed gashes on his hand, he realized that maybe it was best not mix. But not because of ignorance. Because of how much he hurt the ones he cared for. All the demons he carried with him, no one could handle them once he unleashed them. This girl didn't know what she was getting herself into. And like a bright eyed boy, he allowed her because he didn't want to be without her.
"You shouldn't have come here." The deep voice broke her thoughts as she parked at the county jail.
"Just because you say something doesn't mean that you mean it. I know you are angry at your mother for still visiting him. but I think its how she heals. Seeing his face lets her know that she made the right choice. It's for her. Not for him. That's what she wants for both you and Merle." She bit her lip as the redneck blushed.
"Sorry. I am rambling too much. Must be a full moon."
"No I was just thinkin that yer gonna make one hell of a social worker. I just wish yer dad could see that."
"He will. But if he doesn't. Then he doesn't."
He took in her words as he got out of the car. Their fingers together. If he didn't have anything else in this world, it was his family.
In minutes, he would be face to face with his monster. The man he was destined to become. The barbed fences and watch towers did not go yells of the inmates could be heard through the thick walls as they made the dred-locked queen jump. Holding her closer to him, he rubbed her back as she kept her stoic expression.
He stood against the cement wall in the narrow hallway. Releasing his sweaty hands from the young woman's, he began to chew on his thumb. He was about to see the man who had the same eyes as him. And temper. Unexpected flashbacks panicked him.
Coming home from school to see him unconscious on the floor. The needle marks in his arms and spoon near him. The lighter he used that soon became his older brother's.
Why weren't they good enough for him to make him stop? If he hadn't done this with them around, then Merle wouldn't have started. And they would have not endured 2 years of his on and off drug habits. Now Merle had been sober for 5 months. It was a good thing he didn't come. Coming here would only undo what the sibling had been working so hard to overcome.
As he waited for the officer to call the visitors in, he figured why his mother wanted him to do this without her. To prove to himself that he was a man. That his father didn't break him. He had learned to make room for more pain. His friends admired him for his resilience, but even he had a breaking point. What if he wasn't strong enough?
"I'll be here." Michonne hugged him as he held her closely.
At the guard's command, he entered in the room. The indestructible glass that separated them from the inmates. He was glad it was there. Because if not, he would have jumped on the tattooed man that resembled him. Nothing had change about his father. The stern faced, hard eyed man had no glimmer of happiness to see him. The various tattoos on his neck and arms were not pleasant to look at. And his growing dark hair was unkempt. The handcuffs and orange suit were not punishment enough for his sins.
Balding his fists, Daryl's eyes began to burn as he took a seat. His hands on the red telephone, he didn't know whether to pick it up or just watch him on the other side of the glass. Holding up the middle finger in front of him would not ease the pain either. But his better judgment led.
"If yer lookin fer an apology…." The criminal began. His eyes avoiding his son's. Ashamed of what he was a man. But hid this well behind his harsh words.
"I don't want yer damn apology…..I only came here because I wanted yah to see meh."
Mad as hell was an understatement. But he had to be the man his mother and brother believed him to be. This life taught him to not fight hate and ignorance with more hate and ignorance. He would show his father that he chose to be a good man. A man that followed the right path. Someone who did not run because he was afraid.
His father's smug grin would not let him lose this battle. He owed this to himself. The nightmares that haunted him could not hurt him anymore.
"I don't need to see ya, yer brother or yer shitty mom. Yah three got what yah wanted." The man said harshly. They thought he was trash. He was.
Why prove them wrong? Why change?
"Ya don't deserve us as a family Joe. Yer not even worth my time." The young man finally spoke.
"Then why did yah come?"
"Because yah have to know that I don't need yah. I never did. And we are a hell of a lot better with ya gone. And we are gonna keep yah here rotting in this cell." He hung the phone up as he exited the room.
He tried to look at the silver lining. His father was no longer on the streets in abandoned houses. Or getting high. It was the most sober he had ever seen him. But it still hurt his heart to see him not want them. His legs became heavier with each step to Michonne's car. The ebony beauty held his hand as the tears escaped his closed eyes. Placing his hands over his eyes, the grunts grew louder.
Michonne cradled his body in hers. Running her fingers in his hair, she kissed his forehead. Letting him know what he already knew. She wasn't going anywhere.
The redneck's grip tightened gently around her body. Right now she was the only thing that kept him from drowning. Breathing in her scent, he wasn't going to let her go anytime soon.
