"And the only solution was to stand and fight
And my body was loose and I was set alight
But she came over me like some holy rite
And although I was burning, you're the only light"

Only for a Night- Florence + The Machine

Getting There

Clary.

Magnus's house was packed. It was New Years' Eve, so it was a perfect excuse to make the biggest party of the year-as so he calls it. He invited everyone and when Clary said everyone, it meant a lot of people: the New York's Vampire Clan, Maia's Werewolf Pack, Warlocks and Shadowhunters nearby, even some Fairies from the Seelie court to make some peace (for he was sure the Fae Folk wouldn't take what happened to them lightly and so he didn't want anyone he cared about get in the crossfire.)

Clary didn't even know how he made his apartment so big. It somehow fit all those people without being super squished to everyone. But there they were, just seconds to midnight, excitedly watching the huge ball drop from Times Square. Watching the countdown, Clary felt like she wasn't there. She was aware of Jace, with his right arm around her shoulder, whispering sweet nothings to her ear, while Alec and Magnus were both on her side, joining hands. Maia and Bat were still talking to each other and poor Izzy sat at the bar booth, drinking shot after shot of a red liquid. Clary felt herself get swept away, to a different place on a different New Year's eve.

X.X

10.

She was eight: she was clapping her tiny hands and screaming at the countdown, Simon beside her.

9.

They were twelve: Clary was in Simon's house, her mom and Luke were invited to celebrate Jewish Style like Simon had told them.

8.

This time they were nine: Clary was crying and thrashing because she wanted Simon to be there. Only he and his family were on a trip. Luke did everything he could and by the end they were chatting on the computer-apparently Simon did his own little number too, according to Elaine (Simon's mom).

7.

Fourteen: Simon flirting with her mom to get the midnight kiss and Clary laughing at the sidelines at his horrible skills.

6.

Fifteen: it was the first time the two of them went to the big event. They didn't kiss at midnight but hugged and laugh and did their perfect awkward dance and they didn't even care.

5.

Laughs all around at Luke's farm.

4.

Clary running to Simon's house to hug him.

3.

Simon dragging Rebecca to her house at age of eleven. He wanted to be the first after her family to give her a hug.

2.

Clary holding Simon on the year his father passed away and he couldn't stop crying.

1.

Clary and Simon there inexplicably for each other since they were kids.

X.X

HAPPY NEW YEAR... everybody screams of happiness. Loud shouts from everyone… everybody but her.

Then Jace was kissing her and she felt safe on his arms. He tasted sweet and she could feel the bitter of the champagne he was having. But then he tasted salty and she realized she was savoring her own tears. He cupped his hands on her face kissing away the tears and shooing her, already knowing the reason for her tears.

"Shh, my love, everything is okay, he's okay" Clary knew that he was right but she simply couldn't accept that; she wanted to go to his house, or even called him. But she couldn't bear to hear him again and hear the blank voice, Clary unrecognized by the best friend she'd had for years. So she did the only thing she could do: saying one thought over and over again in her mind.

Happy New Year Simon.

X.X

The weeks passed in a blur. The only reason Clary was happy was because of how busy she was. It was either training, or learning runes with the new teacher that finally arrive after months of waiting, painting or hunting along Jace, Iz and Alec. Magnus always helped too, taking her shopping and doing everything he could to keep Clary and Isabelle busy. His efforts increased in not letting them realize just how devastated they both were.

It was true though- if Clary wasn't busy, she started to think. Sometimes she would hold her stele so hard, trying to imagine some rune to get memories back. Something impossible that she knew would never work. One that can be used on mundanes? Of course there was nothing that worked. And when she realized this, she couldn't continue; she couldn't even think of whatever monotonous action she had been doing to distract herself with and begin to sob. It was silent racks that made her whole body ache and throat sore.

Several times she had caught herself walking absently, not seeing where she was going and stop a few houses from his house. Then she would panic and head back to her house or the institute and try to distract her mind with useless things.

One time she saw Rebecca, his sister. And she stood, stuck in place, in awe of the girl because it felt like so long since she last saw her. Rebecca's familiar curly, long mahogany hair just about her shoulders, a beautiful dress she must have bought on a second hand store how she always did…

She realized her mistake then, and had been about to leave before she saw her when she saw who she was talking to. She was saying goodbye to her mom, and then there was Simon, going out and kissing her goodbye in the cheek too. Clary froze, her whole body trembling at an image that was so familiar and yet so foreign at the same time. And so she did the only thing she knew how to do when it came to this Simon, run away.

X.X

Another thing she hated was the nightmares. Waking in the middle of the night, screaming for a boy with green eyes that she had never had the chance to meet, thrashing for a father that wanted her dead, screaming for demons that wanted to take her life away, but worst of all was when Clary dreamed about him:

Them as kids playing on Luke's farmhouse, watching anime in her bedroom or playing videogames at his house, going into hundreds and hundreds of band practices and hearing Eric's awful poetry. Another sound haunting her was cruel laugh of Asmodeus's in her head, telling her how exotic and delicious her pain is, that he had made the right choice and how glad he was for how much hurt he had caused her... Those were the worst and those were the ones that she kept to herself.

Jace could read her so easily, of course and could see through her fake image. Clary kind of hated that. So one day after a hunt, he had told her to go easy; she was exhausting herself and that would only make the nightmares worst. Clary glared at him, but he only gave her one of his famous smiles in return.

"Remember, I've been through that."

And she knew what he meant -Jace have been through so much. But then again, so had she. Clary couldn't deny that she was happy Jace was there for her; he was an anchor when she felt like she was losing herself.

X.X

One particular afternoon was Clary's breaking point. She had so far avoided at all costs going to the places she frequented with Simon, fearing she might find him there. But on a warm April afternoon she wanted coffee, not from Taki's but from Java Jones. Clary ignored her conscious screaming at her and went there alone, using a glamour to hide her runes.

Just as she placed her order (black coffee) the barista (the same as always) asked her, "-Hi love, so much time, you know. Your friend came early today with a black eye, you know what'd happened to him?" Shock was one way to describe it. Clary couldn't move and the girl behind the counter saw it, and called some guy and they took Clary to the side of the costumers.

"Your friend," she said again, "kind of tall, dark hair, brown eyes…"

"Yes, sorry." Clary said after she could muster the strength to talk. She shook her head. "Simon…"

"Yes, him." she paused awkwardly. "Sorry if I'm being rude but are you two in a fight or something? It's just been a long time since I've seen the two of you together. And now you look different." she eyed Clary head to toe, Clary felt herself blushing.

"No, no… Well… kind of… it's hard to explain … you were saying something about a black eye?" she said, eager to hear the news of her friend.

"Oh, yes…Sorry." she shifted from foot to foot. This time was for the others turn to feel a little embarrassed.

"Sorry…" she repeated. "I get it, not my problem, but yes. He had a nasty black eye. I asked him what happened and he said he got into a fight. he said I shouldn't be worried about him because the other guy was worse, then his girlfriend came and picked him up-"

Clary was speechless but that last part caught her off guard.

"Girlfriend?" she said incredulously.

She eyed Clary like she was mad. "Yes…Oh, there they are. Go, you two seem like you should talk."

There was a lot to take at once. Clary spun around and saw two people coming from the other side of the street. He wore torn jeans, his T-shirt that was too big for him and read " Where is Schrödinger's cat", his glasses his not at all sext glasses but they looked good on him. It was all the indication she needed to know it was him-her Simon. She noticed the bruise on his left eye, it was bad, kind of swollen and a purplish-green. The only thing Clary wanted to do more was jump on him and hug him, take his glasses off and put some ice on it because it looked pretty horrible. But the next noticeable thing was person on his side…. A girl with blonde hair, not too cute, not too bad either. Clary eyed her up and down, somehow the girl is familiar for her… and it comes to her, a conversation she had a few months ago…

"Is he… gay? – a girl had asked. It was the same girl beside Simon… Somehow it felt so wrong that Clary wanted to take her dagger and cut out her hair to see how she looked.

They open the door to Java Jones and Clary saw them coming in. She couldn't move again and her palms were sweaty. She was nervous and she was mad at herself because apparently she can kill demons everyday and now at one sight of her long lost friend, she couldn't even move. They were coming closer and she was able to hear what they were saying, it looked like there was just the three of them in Java Jones.

"C'mon, Alexa it will be fun." he tugged to a seat.

"You said that last time and it was horrible." she whined

"He got better, trust me." he squeezed her hand.

The girl, Alexa, looked displeased. She exhaled loudly, clearly irritated, and checked out her phone.

"I gotta go…" She said.

"What? But we just got here…" he spluttered.

"I know… But something came up… mmmMy sister…" she made up pathetically.

Simon raised an eyebrow

"Your sister? That went to L.A for the weekend?"

The girl looked taken aback

" I…"

"Don't bother." Simon retorted angrily. "Goodbye Alexa."

She rose from her feet, glancing back when she was at the door but Simon didn't notice… He was coming towards Clary and she was so surprised that she didn't move. He instead shifted round her side. But he didn't look at her, it was like she was invisible.

Clary felt the ground beneath her move, swallowing her whole, Simon was at just a few feet from her but he didn't even watched her. Clary heard the Barista talking to him and asking her about a band gig and if they finally had a name… Clary didn't hear his answer, for again she saw herself running.

X.X

She wasn't sure how she got to Magnus's front door, maybe she opened a portal somewhere, she didn't care actually. She was frantic, knocking on his door-she wanted to leave, she wanted to feel free, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She was breaking and she couldn't deal with that anymore… She wanted to forget.

And that was the first thing she said the moment Magnus opened his door….

"Make me forget!" She passed by him and Magnus was still on his doorstep looking at her, dumbstruck.

"I'm sorry…what?"- he asked.

Clary was facing the wall in front of her-there was pictures of everyone there, mostly of Alec, of course but there was one when there were all seven of them, trying to fit on a bench in central park. She remembered that day-it was a few months before everything started and Jordan was training Jace to control the heavenly fire flowing through his veins.

Clary was next to Simon on her left and Jace on her right, Isabelle kissing Simon's cheek while Maia and Jordan were having a whole make out session and Alec was sulking while Jace had an arm around him, they all looked kind of happy. But looking at Simon in the picture just made everything worst.

"Make me forget about him!" She turned around and Magnus was there beside her, watching her. She took the photo and Magnus immediately understood what was happening.

"Biscuit don't …"

"I can't Magnus, it's too hard…" her voice cracked and she was crying again, she tried to control herself but couldn't.

"I saw him today." Clary said, before Magnus could say something. She continued.

"I saw him and he passed by my side-he was literally less than ten feet from me and he didn't bat an eye! I don't want to feel like this anymore, Magnus… This... this pain that I feel at night, when I dream about him, when I remember him… it's better if he was dead, like Isabelle said. I was trying to be strong; I'm trying to be strong…. But I can't, I just CAN'T!" In a moment Magnus was embracing her, Clary put her arms around him, feeling the comfort that he was giving her.

"Everything is going to be all right, hey look at me." Magnus was holding Clary by her shoulder, his cat like eyes looking at her. She could see he was sad too but at the same time that look told her that he understood her but there was nothing he could do.

"I can't make the pain go away; because that's the thing about it…It demands to be felt. But I can give you closure- He stopped for a moment and Clary thought he was waiting for her to say something, but she couldn't talk, she was transfixed with his eyes.

"Your mother's wedding is in a week, am I right?" Clary nodded.

"Okay, I'll tell you what we're gonna do-"

"What?... What do you mean…" she gasped.

"Wait to hear my plan, biscuit, it's an exceptional one!" Clary almost laugh, Magnus antics are always a boost of energy.

"Okay, I'm listening."

"You're going to talk to him." She was shocked, hadn't he been listening?

"Mag-"

"Shh, shhh… you haven't hear it all… you are going to talk to him and you will not freak out and try to reach out to him. See if he remembers anything. It's a long shot, Clary, but I think you need to do it. Either to get him back or to give you closure."

Clary was silent for a moment. In her head she was seeing the possible outcomes of what Magnus was saying and he was right, she needed to do this, so she only nods.

"Thank you, Magnus."

"No problem, sugar… I`m here for you."

"Sugar?" she asked.

"I'm getting tired of biscuit." he smiled half-heartedly and swept a lone tear off her cheek.


Hi everybody, I hope you guys enjoyed CoHF as much as I did, this is my take to fill the gap between the time the gang comes from Alicante and When the epilogue takes place… it's going to be a two shot story… One in Clary's POV and then in Simon's … I hope you like guys liked it….

Thanks to this amazing person who helped me and was my Beta for this story TheEternalDaylightingRanger…. English is not my first lenguaje so I asked her help and she said. YES. So thanks to her!

i would love to read your thoughts so leave a review if you liked it or not.