Opening Lyrics: "Breathing Slowly" ... Crossfade.
Chapter 1: Buried, Belated, Broken.
So who was I to hurt you?
To desert you?
When you needed me there?
So now that you've learned to hate me...
You're finally set free.
I fall to my knees...
--
"Sasuke–kun!"
A long drought of liquid, consumed only for the satisfying warmth that flooded his frigid veins, almost effective in drowning out her simpering words.
"Sasuke–kun, are you listening to me?"
"I doubt it."
As much as he wished to dwell in long–ago memories, floating serenely in an unconscious so pleasing it was intoxicating, reality was figuratively slapping him across the face. While his muscles were relaxed and nestled comfortably under his thick skin, those around him only saw his tense demeanor.
"Sasuke–kun," she whined again, leaning across the square table slowly and peering at him. He did not see her, only the beautifully carved wood, the crevasses and initials carved here and there, patterns in a myriad of brown shades.
"Sasuke–"
"Do you come with a muzzle, woman?" Suigetsu snapped abruptly, slamming down his glass and brushing his uneven locks from his face. Teeth bared in a half–joking grin, he let his head fall onto his hand and shook his head at her. "He's not listening. Let the man think."
Eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, the magenta–haired woman readjusted her glasses routinely and let a pout toy on her lips. "He's always thinking."
"Thinking of the best way to shut you up," Suigetsu retorted playfully, dodging her hand as she made to pass it across his face. Missing by inches and thoroughly infuriated at her failure to punish him, she shoved her glass at him and it tipped, light brown liquid seeping in a small puddle on the wood.
Each member of the newly formed team occupied a corner of the square table. In this small tavern in the middle of nowhere, they existed as much as the people sitting at the table next to them, or behind them...they simply didn't. No questions, no inquiries. Get a drink, sit, discuss, leave on a merry note with a tip and that is that.
Their leader remained silent and attempted to enjoy his drink, though this was proving to be a hassle considering two of them could not sit still or try to engage him in conversation for more than three seconds. Like flittering fans, worshiping the ground beneath his feet as if it were something special. Shadowed eyes still fixated on the wood patterns, he let them go at it and fell into his own comfortable silence alongside Juugo, whom was quiet as well.
THWACK!
"Sonofabitch," Suigetsu muttered fluently, baring his teeth with the corners of his lips twitching as if mocking her with a smile. He never seemed to be truly angry with her. Grimacing at his throbbing shin, he dipped his fingers in his drink, swirled them around, and flicked the liquid at her flashing spectacles. "Hah, you're blind."
Cursing under her breath, she swept her sleeve across the glasses and bared her teeth back at him, eyes narrowed viciously at the now laughing shinobi.
"So fucking immature," she spat, slamming her toes, clad in heavy boots, against his shin once more.
The table jerked and Juugo looked up from his drink and scowled. "Knock it off."
"The gentle giant speaks," Suigetsu remarked coyly.
Sasuke let out an irked sigh, ripped from his brooding muse, and drained the last of his liquor. Pushing the glass away in indication, he shook his head slightly to clear his vision.
THWACK!
"Ow."
THWACK!
"Okay, you can st–"
THWACK!
"You," Sasuke snapped, obviously annoyed by her childish behavior; bringing her feet together, she sat up straighter and attempted a smirk. It faltered beneath his disapproving gaze. A deep scowl came upon her face, perhaps in justification.
"He started it," she mumbled, rolling her eyes and attempting to catch Sasuke's eye before the exhausted Uchiha let his head rest on his forearms, listening to the monotonous drone of many a conversation. All uneventful and comprised of small talk. If it had been his way, they would still be traveling through a pitch–black forest in the middle of god knows where, going through the painfully routine arguments. Suigetsu was thirsty. Karin would bitch at him. Juugo would remain thoughtful and silent. Sasuke would remain a brooding icon for every twelve year old girl that uttered his name.
Now a missing–nin, the upswing in his popularity with the younger crowd was at a pinnacle that always made him wonder, vaguely, just how many goddamn females the world held.
Muscles tightened involuntarily beneath the traveling cloak loosely draped over his shoulders; Juugo gave his leader a swift look of concern that Sasuke shrugged off and the former did not question. They never did.
A voice cut swiftly through the chatter from the table to the right. Many things did not interest Sasuke, meaningless babble about one dead wife or just how shit-faced her husband was last night or how sweet little Takashi fell in the well. Constant, varying states of fatigue did not suit him, but this, these familiar words that caused pangs of emotion other than pain and exhaustion, he couldn't deny it.
Regret.
"You've always hated me."
Regret.
"I'd do anything for you!"
He'll always regret.
"I love you!"
"...caused a damn uproar in Konoha, at least thass wha' I heard."
Ripples of disbelief, of dissent traveled through the group clustered around the table to hear this tale. Skepticism was apparent in many faces; nonetheless, the sound of scraping chairs attracted even more attention and now, as another pointless squabble broke out between his teammates again, he listened. Still. Stealthy.
Undoubtedly interested.
"Don' believe ya," a man grunted, beneath a greased, gray mustache. "They don' let foreigners leenger," he muttered, pausing to take a drought of liquor as his words went around the table, a game of telephone.
"They don', not affer tha' attack by them...what d'ya call 'ems–"
"Akatsuki," another boomed, oblivious to the overbearing volume of his besotted voice. "Damn foreigners."
Sasuke suppressed a snort for their ignorance. Plain, simple ignorance.
The first man seemed affronted at having the spotlight refocused and set his glass down loudly. Heads swivelled to watch him as a smirk graced his somewhat handsome features, and while he ran his gloved hand continually through an unkempt brunette mane, the ears of every villager and shinobi sharpened.
As did Sasuke's.
"I'm up there fer a good time, ya know? I wont leengering," he sneered in blatant mockery. "So I hassa bi' much and I stop in 'nother tavern and you know wha' I hear? I hear..."
Pausing for dramatic effect, he drained his glass and was about to demand more, but the attractive woman was already at his side. With a curious look upon her pretty features, she bent low and put her face close to his, skillfully refilling his drink as she whispered, "What'd you hear?"
Sasuke let out a sigh of dissent, still ignoring the embarrassing antics at his own table. Get to the point already. Staring at the wood, he felt his attention ebbing away.
"The damned legendary sucker 'erhself!"
Grand laughs echoed all around as they relived fond memories of her gambling and alcoholism, her stints of unbecoming habits known far and wide. Obviously it hadn't died down even after officially filling her position as Hokage.
"Yep, she was 'ere, and she weren't drinkin' none, no, just havin' a secret 'lil meetin' right there with 'er posse," he drawled, earning unwarranted laughs from the crowd around the table, which was basically the entire bar at his point. Curious minds forced bodies to twist around the backs of chairs just hoping for a bit of gossip to spread around that night. Thankfully, the squabbling died down at Sasuke's table and Juugo and Suigetsu listened intently, seemingly amused.
"Konoha...wasn't that–"
Sasuke rose his head slowly, raising an eyebrow. Juugo's words broke off abruptly. Suigetsu eyed the curvaceous woman now, whom was desperate for a one night stand and a story. Latched onto the brunette's arm so tightly and simpering now at his words, making Suigetsu bare his teeth. "Heh. Cutie."
Snarl. Seethe. Karin's voice was the whip of a leather belt almost as painful as her backhand slaps. "Shut up."
"So nashurally," the man continued, leaning back in his chair and clearly enjoying his captured audience. "I'm a listenin' in tha' bar an' she says she been sendin' out ANBU squads left n' right. Shinobi kidnapped righ' unner her nose, an' they think it was a shinobi from the Akatsuki, no less!"
Juugo's face, intimidating in appearance, seemed sympathetic and slightly confused as he looked at Sasuke again, whom was staring, unblinking, at the far wall of the tavern as Suigetsu ripped his attention from the woman. Currently stroking the brunette's nose with a long, suggestive finger and trying to find a covert opportunity to casually sit in his lap.
Now he fixed his sharp eyes on his leader and tilted his head quirkily, also curious.
And Sasuke seemed to be his normal, apathetic self.
Except for the fist on the table. Those tightened white knuckles.
Sight narrow of the eyes.
Memories.
"That's all you've got to say?"
"Hn."
"Don't you care, at all?"
"I can't afford to care. Not for you. And not for her."
"...Sasuke..."
"Tell her the last part...you'll regret it."
He could only delve so far into memories like those. She remained faceless and nameless to all inquiries, nonexistent and never mentioned.
Stay away from me.
"I can't stand to watch you suffer this way!"
"They be thinkin'...it was Uchiha Itachi."
Three heads swivelled to watch his reaction. Defined jaw line and lines of cold fury, etched in frightening stone twisted his handsome features into an expression so grotesque and angry. Eyes shadowed, narrowed to glittering onyx slits that watched his memories play, the movie created for him. Consisting of the worst.
Tense. Don't breathe.
"An' there was blood everywhere,"the man stated proudly, grinning as the people shuddered in collective revulsion. "Han' prints, curtains ripped n' lotsa evidence of a struggle. Not 'nough to be dead, though. They're sure she's alive. She fought hard, they were sayin'." Finishing solemnly as took another drought and welcomed the barmaid onto his lap, as though he were there to see the dreadful incident.
"It was a woman, then?"
"Why'd they leave her alive?"
Putting up a hand for silence, the brunette held the crowd in shock and awe.
"Ransom, I 'spose. They wan' somethin' outta that kidnappin'. 'Twas a girl, it was."
Suigetsu quirked an eyebrow and continued to watch his leader closely, while Karin mimicked him. "Sasuke–kun?" Her voice irked him.
"Sasuke–kun, I need your help with this–"
"Shh, don't be rude, Sasuke–kun!"
"Eat this, please, Sasuke–kun!"
Juugo silently pressed a full glass into Sasuke's hand, watching him closely. "Karin, don't."
Jerking her head toward him, she sneered in response and only turned her nose up at Suigetsu.
The Uchiha twitched. Quite noticeably. It didn't happen often.
Whatever was going on, it was really fucking bothering him, and his team was about to witness his temper firsthand.
They had no idea.
"Sweet Jesus, a girl? Young girl?"
Surging guilt. The man had no shame, and Sasuke always took it on as his personal burden.
This was more personal than he'd ever think.
"A shinobi. Barely a day over sixteen." Sighs of false heartache sounded in the tavern.
Tiny, responsive hairs that stood straight on the back of his neck as the twitch continued, willing to remain in the calm before the inevitable storm that he was bound to bring. That glint, that glint of crimson flashed vividly for the world to see as his chest jerked abruptly, struck with guilt, because–
–It was her fucking birthday.
He'd remembered. He'd tried so hard not to.
"Sasuke–teme, did you even get anything for Sakura–chan for her birthday? She's only got one year you know, before she's sixteen!"
"What's the difference?"
"It means a lot to her, though, idiot! You'd better be nice to her next year or I'll kick your ass up and down the street."
"Which I doubt you could do."
"What was her name?" a woman asked in a hushed voice, leaning closer to her husband. People moved as one, curiosity such a natural, involuntary sinthat enthralled their minds and forced their morals into submission as they dared listen.
A swishing sound was heard as Sasuke's traveling cloak slid from his squared, tensed shoulders and folded upon itself as it hit the dusty floor.
The tightening, asphyxiating grip upon his chest, his breath held. Heartbeat hovering on one frantic note.
The glass, his powerful, calloused fingers clinging to the cold lifeline, cracks snaking onto the surface as his knuckles grew white. Skin pulled over them abnormally tight.
He'd rather have been shot in the chest than listen to her name fall from that gossip's lips.
He'd never have expected her name.
Her name.
"Tha' apprentice o' hers...Haruno Sakura."
"Leaving already?"
Hinata jumped, startled, and finished sliding her arms through the straps of her backpack before turning to face her superior.
"Y–yes, Hokage–sama," she stammered, quickly inclining her body into a respectful bow.
With a somber gaze, Tsunade averted her eyes from the photographs on her desk. "Please tell Naruto–"
"Tell me what, baa–chan?"
Hinata looked at the blonde sadly over her shoulder and Tsunade nodded to her. White eyes cast to the floor, the girl gently steered Naruto over the threshold and shut the door behind her, tears already forming in her eyes.
"Tsunade–sama says that...this mission is for Sakura, not for Sasuke," she whispered, resisting the urge to reach out and grab his coat. To cling. She was stronger than that. "And that...even if Sasuke does show up, which he very well may...to do what was best for–"
"Sakura–chan and the baby. I know," Naruto interrupted quietly, cerulean eyes also averted from her kind face. Hinata knew how difficult this had been, the thorough interrogations and the questions of every tiny detail he had been willing to give to help find her. That one night, bringing her home in the dark bruised, beaten, broken.
Failure. A feeling he seemed to know all too well, despite the fact he tried so hard to never let himself be associated with it again. He had failed her, and he had failed Sasuke as well. He could imagine the fury on his face should he ever realize what was happening, should he ever return to find Sakura...
It was his fault, damn it, his fault! I'm not the one who left.
"Protect her when I can't, Naruto."
"Hinata," he whispered, screwing up his face in a vain effort to suppress his furious tears.
Don't break down.
"Hinata," he repeated, taking the front of her coat and wrapping his fingers in the material, beginning to shake. "Tell me...was this all my fault?"
The girl gently wrapped her arms around his body, wracking with sobs he did not dare to let loose. Though he could never play his tough act around her for too long. Turning her head against his chest, she embraced him tightly.
She would never lie.
And she said nothing.
Glass.
Embed yourself in the skin without ceremony, now. Bring forth blood for the man that cannot feel.
Karin's eyes widened, darting from the shards through Sasuke's hand, viciously tearing his skin apart and letting crimson spill across the patterned wood; to his eyes, blood–red. In one swift movement he shoved his chair back and turned on his heel, looming ominously over the brunette–haired man whom was clearly taken aback. Twisting around to face Sasuke, the stranger asked:
"Can I help ya?"
In a manner of seconds:
The barmaid hit the floor as Sasuke yanked the man from his comfortable chair and held him by the throat, off the ground. Steadily turning blue, feet struggling to scrape the dusty floor, people frozen in shock and horror as Suigetsu and Juugo jumped to their feet but, wisely, did not intervene.
"Don't–ever–talk–about–"
He broke off abruptly, trying desperately to quell his anger and fight back all those memories, to run away from the horrible truth. It just couldn't be happening, it couldn't be real. That man was fucking lying.
Dropping him to the floor, he let the body crumple before turning the man over onto his back with his boot. Eyes tearing from the lack of oxygen stared up at him.
"Tell me everything you know," Sasuke demanded in a hiss.
"What's it to ya?" The idiot didn't realize how dangerous it was to bargain time or answers with the Uchiha.
SNAP.
Another collective shudder; Sasuke's boot stomped on the man's ribs, forcing his body to jerk up in response, helping the fractures along.
"Tell me."
"Which part?"
"Tell me or I'll force you."
"If you're a thinkin' I'm afraid ta die guess what?" the man asked, glaring up at Sasuke with beady eyes, every passing second testing his nonexistent patience. Defiance never gets a man anywhere in the face of this. "I ain't."
"You'll wish you were dead when I'm done with you," Sasuke breathed, slamming the heel of his boot into the man's ribs once more, watching apathetically as he writhed beneath his weight, struggling not to cough up the blood pooling in his jaw.
The Uchiha removed his foot carefully, letting the man's twisting and jerking subside, then glared down at him from cruel, red slits. "Look at me."
And stupidly, the man gazed right up at him.
–"Yes, Naruto was the one to bring her home that night..."–
–"He left her in the woods, bruised, bloody...she would have died if we hadn't–"
–"Handprints all over her walls–"
Sasuke's lip twitched as the little color he possessed drained from his face in one startling instant. He probed deeper, reliving the conversation that the man had heard as he enjoyed his drink in Konoha and his victim was shaking again, uncontrollable convulsions as blood trailed from his mouth, eyes wide and already glassy. Karin was frozen in horror, while his other two teammates remained thin–lipped and resolutely silent.
–"There were obvious signs of abuse–"
–"And now she's been taken, most likely by him. He came back for her...god, we should realized!"–
–"Itachi came back for her...and he succeeded."–
"AAUUUGGH!"
The man's piercing scream jerked Sasuke from the genjutsu. He'd had enough, anyway.
He was shaking himself as the words echoed in his own mind, over and over and tumbling and they were there. Forever sounding to torture him ruthlessly. Stomach churning, he stepped gingerly over the man's writhing body and turned to face the exit, watching the twisting form at his feet with an emotionless expression.
KICK.
KICK.
KICK.
Sasuke kicked the body ruthlessly in the stomach and chest; it rolled over and over until it came to the door, and the dark–haired shinobi did not hesitate to punt him, forcibly, over the threshold and into the street, ignoring the trail of blood it left behind.
It was like a show. Sick entertainment, antics. Under the white moon, a surreal goddess that dared to hover above the scene, he broke. Luminescence left him with an unearthly glow to his pallid skin, tracing the defined lines of his face, accenting the circles under his eyes and clashing with the glow of the Sharingan.
Kicking the body, again, again.
You know I always was the strong one,
But now I've come undone...
Sweet release...
Watching the blood spill because it was tangible, it was real, glutinous and glittering and
–it–
–didn't–
–lie.
"Okay, I think that's enough," Suigetsu said, with a jovial air. He nodded to Juugo and they each took one of Sasuke's arms and steered him away as the crowd flocked to the body like hens eager to peck. The whispers were traveling through the little village as some ran to doors of cousins and neighbors and relayed the incident with an excited, breathless demeanor.
Karin followed loyally behind them, glancing back at the people, then rushed forward to Juugo's side.
"What's wrong with him?"
"I don't know, why don't you ask him?" Suigetsu suggested coyly, but Juugo shook his large head slowly, clearly warning them against it.
Sasuke's stilted breathing finally began to calm and he remained tense and silent, jerking his limbs away from his teammates and stalking ahead. Karin followed.
"What's wrong with you?" she demanded, reaching for his sleeve; he sped up.
Grabbing his forearm, she pursed her lips in annoyance. "Sasuke–kun!"
SCHING.
Karin's glasses slipped from her nose and clattered to the dust; two blades crashed against each other, creating a haunting, dangerous melody in the night air.
Suigetsu was grinning, though, as held his sword against Sasuke's kusanagi. The latter was suppressing murderous intent. "Careful. She's stupid, she doesn't know any better."
The magenta–haired girl scooped her glasses from the ground and quickly arranged them on her face, fiddling with them nervously. His actions had truly shocked her, and she stepped back as both shinobi sheathed their weapons. Sasuke turned on his heel and continued to walk at an unnerving pace, as though trying to run away.
Oh, he was.
"I'm stupid?" Karin spat, forming the syllables with uncanny precision at Suigetsu.
"'Kay, when the mere mention of his brother and a girl make him mindfuck someone, he's obviously not in a good mood."
Juugo shushed them and stole a glance at the Uchiha, but he was still walking at a furious pace and not aware of his surroundings in the slightest. Karin blanched.
"A girl?"
"Is Sakura a boy's name?" Suigetsu asked, tilting his head, mocking her once again.
Karin cursed under her breath and folded her arms, eyeing the back of Sasuke's head with a scrutinizing gaze.
"Look," Juugo murmured, jerking his head at Sasuke, who had stopped walking abruptly.
--
Rise, hand, and let me take a good look at you. Yes. I touched your forehead with this, among other things. I wouldn't regret a minute of it. Because you were so innocent, and I wanted it, I needed it, because mine was so far gone.
--
Sasuke took off in one powerful leap, booted feet slamming against a thick tree branch and leaving his teammates in the dark. Of course, they followed, but they had no idea of the things they would discover.
The world would know...and they would know...
The sad tale of Team Seven.
Of his best friend.
Of the girl he'd been afraid to claim. And how he'd been too late.
