Soo, onwards with the angst and stuff. Also I'm trying not to make it all angst, but angst is just easier to write. Kthxbi

Rachel felt that, while having always been particularly a dramatic person, she wasn't actually prone to true histrionics until she had experienced the hormonal shitstorm called pregnancy. Her body was being saturated with hormones that made her into some kind of monster. She likened it to living on a Buffy-style hellmouth, except the mouth part was actually a vagina. Of course as soon as she had this thought, she realised that in her analogy her child would be inside the hell-vagina and that would make it some kind of satanic spawn, so she quickly changed tack in fear of inviting some kind of demonic energy into her hell-womb.

She sighed into her coffee, still a little grossed out by the real milk in it. ("Babies need lots of calcium Rachel! It's important to take in enough nutrients for your child!" the doctor had happily yelled in her face moments after he had told her she was pregnant. That puritanical ass had been waiting to shun her vegan habits for years in spite of her good health, and had apparently exploded with joy once he had a legitimate reason to do so.) She heard Quinn shuffling around in the baby's room and braced herself for the feelings-fest that she had generated when she had snapped at her the night before. Quinn had started having Discussions (capital D) with Rachel at the drop of a hat ever since they'd…whatever they'd done. Breakup is such a trivial word. Rachel didn't know what to call it, and wasn't gonna think about it.

As Quinn exited the baby's room, infant in arms, the teacher's chest tightened for a moment. Sunlight shrouded the two of them, the world's greatest beauties, and for a moment Rachel had a perverse memory of old Romantic paintings of the Madonna and child. Her smile was twisted. Mr Fabray would have a heart attack at the mere suggestion of that kind of blasphemy.

Slightly shaken, she steeled herself for Quinn's sad, serious eyes and the Discussion, but it never came. The blonde walked impassively around the kitchen island, digging a bottle of breast-milk out of the fridge, and turned right back around.

Rachel sagged with relief, only to find her whole body clenching again as Quinn put the bottle down, spun around and marched back. She stood toe to toe with Rachel, their daughter between them. Rachel itched to look around the room and plan her exit, but held-off as Quinn's lips parted.

"So…I'm leaving. It'll take me an hour to get there on the bus, and I want to make sure I have a half hour in case anything goes wrong." Quinn's until-now stony expression faltered. "You better say goodbye then, I guess" the blonde meekly added, looking at the floor. The shrug of her shoulders rocked the baby in her careful arms.

Since it was only her college orientation, and people's families were invited to attend, Quinn was free to take care of their little girl while Rachel was at her first day back at work. It wasn't ideal, but until they had both got their schedules for the semester, they didn't want to plan any childcare. They were both sort of lost about that whole situation anyway; they couldn't really afford much, in spite of Rachel's steady income and Quinn's various jobs, and there were so few people who knew what was really going on with them that they could ask to help out.

Rachel realised what Quinn was saying and found herself biting back tears. She had to leave her daughter for an entire day. She had known it was coming, but she hadn't accepted the fact that it would really happen until that moment. With a watery smile, she lifted her infant daughter out of Quinn's arms and held her close for a moment, inhaling the child's scent and squeezing as tight as she felt was safe. Behind, Quinn shifted uncomfortably and turned away, feeling sick because looking at the woman she loved holding their daughter felt like an intrusion, and it shouldn't. She busied her shaking hands by gathering everything into the stroller and opening the front door, trying to ignore the loving whispers coming from across the room.

There was a rustling next to her as Rachel deposited their daughter into the stroller and tucked another blanket around her. Quinn watched Rachel's eyes glisten. She turned back to the table to retrieve the teddybear they'd bought her a few weeks before she was born, just a little brown bear with silky fur, but it held a little brown felt sword and shield which had made Rachel tear up at the thought of her daughter having a little friend and protector forever. "Damn hormones" she had sobbed as she squeezed the bear on one side of her and clutched at Quinn's arm in the other, wiping her face on Quinn's sleeve as they left the store.

The younger woman allowed Rachel to brush her index finger down the sleeping girl's cheek one more time before she cleared her throat to indicate that they needed to leave.

"Um. See you later then I guess." Quinn mumbled somewhere in the direction of Rachel's collar bone. She'd been gradually making less and less eye-contact with Rachel over the past weeks. The awkwardness of inhabiting the same space but trying to separate themselves seemed to be hitting Quinn harder than Rachel. The brunette wondered if she should be worried.

"Yes. See you later." Quinn nodded noncommittally and manoeuvred the stroller towards the door. "Have a good day" Rachel tried to breeze, but Quinn was already around the corner, gently rolling their daughter down the short flight of stairs and off towards the bus stop. The older woman sighed, screwing her eyes tight and tried to get her mind back on track. School she thought. You're going back to the school, so get your head in the game! With a growl she shook herself and then grabbed her laptop bag and jacket, heading to the car.

As always, at that time in the morning the traffic was ridiculous, and as she sat in the queue of cars Rachel found her mind beginning to wonder back to only a few months ago, when she was still pregnant and they were still happy.

2 months & 11 days ago

Quinn worriedly paced the floor of their (their, she couldn't believe it!) apartment. She knew that it was just a mild case of paranoia that she'd picked up during the later months of Rachel's pregnancy, but Rachel was 17 minutes late, and any time Rachel was even slightly late without explanation Quinn's mind went into overdrive.

A second later, the cellphone that she'd left on the dining table rang, and with dexterity only borne from fear, Quinn vaulted over the sofa and skidded across the hardwood in her socks, gasping hello before she had even fully come to a stop.

Across town, stuck in traffic, Rachel rolled her eyes. The baby had been kicking up a storm, and for some unexplained reason (No sweetheart, the baby isn't 'a little psychic' it's probably just reacting to your subconscious or something) whenever the baby kicked like that it was because she was late and Quinn was at home freaking out."I'm fine baby, calm down." She said, knowing that her girl had probably been pacing the apartment, wearing holes in the floorboards. She bit back a laugh, knowing that Quinn was just young and protective; Rachel knew she'd be the same if it was Quinn carrying the child.

"K" Quinn wheezed out, taking a few deep breaths before she sounded calm again. The girl cleared her throat, and continued nonchalantly. "Hey baby, where are you?" In the car several miles away, Rachel bit her lip and smiled towards the hands free setup, rubbing her stomach soothingly. "There was an accident on the 75, so between the rain and the traffic it's a parking lot."

Relaxing a little, although not much, Quinn nodded and tipped herself into the cushy wingback chair she had turned to face the fireplace. She sat silently for a few moments, listening to the fire crackle and the rain fall, and Rachel breathing on the end of the line.

"How's our little goldfish been today?" she asked with a smile on her face. Rachel hmmd for a second. "She's been playing kickball with mommy's bladder, so it seems like she's been having fun." Quinn giggled. "That's good. I'm glad she's entertaining herself in there. Sometimes I worry she'll get bored." Rachel's snort could be heard over the phone.
"I'll bet you do."

They sat in silence for a few more moments before Rachel noticed some of the brake lights ahead of her fading.

"I think we're finally gonna get moving, so I should go." She murmured to Quinn through the quiet.
"Ok love. Be safe, ok?"

"Of course sweetheart. I'll see you soon."

"Hey Rach?" The blonde girl cut in.

"Mmm?"

"I lov-"

Present

Rachel jumped as a horn honked behind her. She had lost track of the traffic around her while she was daydreaming about that quiet moment months ago. Shaking herself, she pulled away and prepared herself for the first day back to school since becoming a mother.

Ok, so the bear was obviously based on this because i think it's freaking adorable.

Don't worry, whatever eventually happens to them, it will be for the best and they will both be happy and better for it. I know not a huge amount happened in this chapter, but there are hints of what's to come in there, so I'm just setting the scene.

Anyway, let me know what you think, and I'm desperate for inspiration, so if you have any suggestions about stuff to include (minor plot points only, I already have the actual story planned) they're more than welcome. So, until next time.