"Earth was just a small, green and blue planet that orbited a star that has not accomplished too much in it's existence. Nobody really cared or knew about the Earth, as there were other, more social planets to care about. On one particular Thursday however, the Earth was demolished by Vogons. There were only a few survivors of the incident, one of which being Ford Prefect. Ford was an researcher of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and updated the entry for Earth from "Harmless" to "Mostly Harmless". Some time after the Earth was demolished, a chunk of people actually began to care (Specifically the Nosbul people, or "Intergalactic Hipsters" as they are more commonly known (Read entry 7284610388284719 to learn more)), claiming that their primitive and generally old fashioned ways were what made it unique. Earth quickly grew into the next fashionable topic. The one problem however, was that no one knew anything else about it other than that it existed, it stopped existing when Vogons blew it up, and that it was "Mostly Harmless". After all, Earth was gone and would most likely not come back, so there wasn't much information to go off of. This realization created a untapped market potential for the Guide, since it was now essentially useless on Earth information. Therefore it was essentially useless to those who wished to learn about it. Deciding to fill this potential, the HGTTGH (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Headquarters) sent it's time travel division backwards to when the Earth was still around to find out some information on it. As soon as they sent them, an update immediately appeared in the Guide for those in the present. This entry soon became one of the most viewed ever in the Guide's existence. Those in the past however, never bothered to read it, since they would not care for sometime. Those in the future eventually stopped caring, and moved on to the entry about the Various Hairstyles of the Vergonius System (Entry 10341938471900345). Here is what the Guide says about Earth:

Entry 24347329298187929: Earth

Earth was a small green and blue planet, located in the Western Spiral Arm of the Galaxy. It's lifeforms included the dolphins, the ape-men, and most notably, the white mice. They were the most important creatures on the planet as they were responsible for it's existance. Besides it's main purpose, the Earth was responsible for other strange things in the Universe. For example, Earth was the origin planet of squash. The squash was first discovered by Dwernl Dengas and his Unnamed and Frankly Not Important Crew. They had reached the Earth around one million years ago, hoping to find a good pub, as they had been on a rather long stretch of space. Instead they found some squash and took it back on their ship. When they departed from the Earth's surface, one of the squash spoke up, saying, "Thanks mate, we've been through hell on there." Since then, squash has grown a mixed reception from the public for their involvement in the Heffolian-Ferg-Squash War. As for other achievements on the Earth's behalf, they include the following: The longest amount of time it has taken anyone to dial a phone number, (Held by Mr. Rick Stanford of Glasgow, who took 34 5/6 years to dial his girlfriend over the issue of running out of fairy cakes) the worst party ever held, (Held by James Thornton, it ended when everyone at the party spontaneously died as soon as it was announced that there would be karaoke) and the forty third most non-social planet in the galaxy. The Earth was also connected to an enormous amount of improbable coincidences, but there are so many of them, that there is simply not enough space in this entry to talk about them all.

P:S Dear corporate bastards at the HGTTGH, up yours for leaving us on prehistoric Earth.

Sincerly, The Time Travel Division.