Chapter Two

She shook her head, trying desperately to deny his words as he stood in front on her. His words hurt, the cutting damnation dressed as truths were spoken in gentle earnest tones and she felt the tears burn behind her eyes like acid. If she could make him stay, make him come back, she would do anything, give anything, be anything he wanted her to be. She couldn't breathe as she watched him turn away, her lungs burning with the need for air even as she felt powerless to draw it in, and moved after him to stop his retreat. She called his name as the first aching sob tore from her throat and felt as though her heart were being unmercifully crushed in her chest.

"Please," she called out, shaking her head as she moved after him.

She called his name brokenly, her voice unable to rise above a whisper even as her desperation increased to a maddening level. She stumbled after him, her sneakered feet slipping on wet leaves and loose rocks as the forest turned dark around her. She tried to follow him further, falling to her knees as she tripped over a fallen sapling, her tears staining her cheeks as she collapsed to the forest floor. This was too much like before, too much like the other time, the first time and her tears burned her from the inside out as the forest around her changed into another memory from a lifetime ago.

She was barely six years old, her small arms reaching out as she fought against the arms holding her. She didn't want to leave him. She needed her father; needed to be with him and cried as her mother carried her out of the house and to the packed car waiting in the drive. He loved her; he protected her and read to her at night. He had promised to always be there with her, promised her he loved her no matter what, but now as she was being taken away from him he didn't even put up a fight. She sobbed then, falling against her mother's shoulder as her heart broke into a thousand tiny pieces too small to fit back together.

He hadn't put up a fight, hadn't come after her and, as she was strapped into the front seat of the car, Bella realized that he hadn't said he loved her before they left. She squeezed her eyes shut as more tears fell, her throat becoming raw and burning with the force of the sobs wailing from her. The only thing she knew, the only thing she could understand or remember was that her father, the most important person in the world to her, hadn't stopped her from trying to leave. He had let her go; he had sent her away with her mother as though she meant nothing to him.

She grew quiet then, sniffling in the corner of the front seat with her small head resting half on the car door, half on the window. She had thought he loved her, but now as her mother drove away from the house it felt as though that must have been a lie. Her head hurt from the force of her tears, her chest feeling as though someone had punched a hole through it and ripped out her heart. Now who would she turn to when the shadows got too close, or when someone was mean to her at school? Who would protect her from the monsters under her bed and the nightmares that she wouldn't remember upon waking?

She looked back at her mother, watching as somehow the woman changed and memories flowed past them too fast for her to hold onto. From the moment they had left Forks her world had changed drastically. No longer was she the one being taken care of and protected; now it was her filling those roles instead. She was the one taking care of her mother, reminding her of what they needed to buy and when she had her projects to turn in at work. It was she who began cooking the meals, her mother's inability to make a simple can of soup leaving them in danger of going broke from eating out too often. She was the one who comforted her mother through one heartbreak after another and it was she who did the laundry and the dishes and took care of balancing the checkbook.

Her pain exhausted her, her aching heart feeling as though it was torn and bleeding inside her chest. Sniffling back her tears and blinking slowly, her breath caught in throat as she opened her eyes. Her fear returned, her heart beating a furious rhythm too fast for her to comprehend as she watched Edward being attacked again and again by Felix. He was protecting her, trying not to let them kill her, but all of this was her fault. If not for her, Edward and his family wouldn't be in danger, if not for her . . .

She screamed for them to stop, pleaded for Aro to take her life instead of Edward's and watched terrified as Jane inflicted her talent upon those she loved. She begged for Jane to stop, fell to her knees as she sobbed brokenly and watched in horror as Alice and Edward were ripped apart in front of her. In ribbons of pain and terror the castle room she was in changed, morphing into the ballet studio and she screamed as she felt the burning agony of her leg being snapped by James.

She was alone in the ballet studio with him, listened as he taunted her and cried as she realized that this time no one was coming for her. She called out for Edward, for Alice and Carlisle even as a part of her mind told her that this was how it should have ended. This would have been better, she told herself as she watched James stalk toward her. This would have kept Edward safe. She closed her eyes as James took her hand and bit into her wrist, screamed as the fire of his venom spread through veins and sobbed when she opened her eyes to find herself back in the forest as she stood in front of Edward. Throughout it all, only four words made it through to her, Edward's voice speaking them over and over like a mantra until she began to believe them as truth.

"You're not good enough."

She fell to the ground as he walked away, too broken to even try to rise, and willed the ground beneath her to swallow her whole. She couldn't do this, she couldn't go through this again and wished fervently for an end to the madness that clouded her mind and twisted her heart. She wanted the numbness back; she needed the darkness of the disconnection. She needed the comforting deafness of a pain so deep she could no longer feel it. Instead she was left with this tearing agony that made her certain she was being crushed alive.

She heard a voice calling out to her, but shook her head and wished for them to go away as she folded in on herself. There was too much pain, too much heartache and she couldn't make it stop even if she wanted to. She just wanted it to end. Gasping as she felt herself lifted into a strong pair of arms, she kept her eyes closed out of fear of more pain, and sobbed as she felt whoever it was sit on the fallen log behind her. She was being cradled in someone's lap, the person talking to her, comforting her and she cried harder as she allowed herself to listen to the voice.

She felt as though she were breaking again, the person holding her now encouraging her to open her eyes, but she was afraid to do so. He loved her; he comforted her and gave her the affection and protective love she had never felt from her own parents and the thought of waking to find him only a dream terrified her. She couldn't open her eyes; she couldn't give in to Carlisle's pleading demands because she knew if she did he would be gone. She felt his hand cup her cheek, his cool skin heaven against her overheated face and felt even more broken by how real it felt when he smoothed away her tears.

"Please, sweetheart, open your eyes," Carlisle pleaded with her and finally, with terror and reluctance, she gave into his request.

The forest she had been in melted away and at first his burnt-honey eyes, full of compassion and worry, were all that she saw. She breathed in deeply, sniffling back her tears as her breath came in heavy aching pants and her brow furrowed in confusion. Why hadn't he disappeared? Was she still dreaming? She saw the tiny bit of relief flash through his eyes only to be quickly doused by concern as she sat up from the reclined cradle of his arm and looked around the room. She spotted Emmett instantly, the other vampire who had become her rock when she felt unable to reveal to Edward her fears, moved closer to her and touched his bent fingers to her dampened cheek.

"Whe-"

The question she had started to ask was cut off with a painful groan as she wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling the vicious cramps twisting her insides again. She feared she would be sick, tried to move out of Carlisle's arms in order to run to the bathroom, but felt herself held closer instead as a pale hand brought a metal bowl into her lap. Embarrassment burned through her, but the cramps were too violent to ignore, too insistent to gain control over and before she could even think of refusing the basin, she found herself vomiting into the bowl.

Cool hands held her hair back at the nape of her neck as another hand rubbed soothing circles between her shoulders. Soothing words were spoken to her softly, cool breath ruffling her hair as she felt lips press a kiss to her head. It wasn't long before her rebellious stomach calmed, there wasn't much left in it to expel, and she fell against Carlisle's shoulder with a whimper as the tears gathered in her eyes spilled upon her cheeks. She was too tired to keep her eyes open as someone gently wiped her mouth with a soft cloth and held a small cup to her lips as they encouraged her to rinse.

It was only after she had spit the mix of water and mouthwash into the bowl that she felt her face being gently wiped with a cool damp cloth and barely a second later heard the sound of the toilet flushing. She heard Carlisle's soft tenor conversing with Emmett's rich baritone but was too tired to make sense of their words. She felt cool hands gently take hold of her arm and unfold it, the man's thumb rubbing small circles on the inside of her wrist as a tiny cold swab was applied to the outside of her shoulder. She hated needles and thought she had uttered a protest only to hear a muted groan instead.

"Shh," Carlisle soothed as he carefully slipped the needle into her skin and injected her with the anti nausea medicine he knew she wouldn't be able to swallow. "It will be alright, Sweetheart. We'll take care of you," he promised her and hoped the medicine he gave her would be more effective than the Dramamine.

"Sedative?" Emmett asked softly as he watched Bella give into her exhaustion.

"No," Carlisle pressed his lips together as he set the syringe aside on the table behind him and held Bella close as he rubbed her back. "Anti nausea medicine. It's the same strength and dose we give to pregnant women when the morning sickness becomes too much for their bodies to handle. I'm hoping it will bring her some comfort; perhaps even allow her to eat a little bit."

"I couldn't wake her up," Emmett said as he looked at his sleeping sister with a deep frown. "I tried. I called to her, I shook her as much as I dared, but I could get her to wake up."

Reaching out and laying a hand on his son's shoulder he waited for Emmett's eyes to meet his before he spoke.

"The important part is that we were finally able to get her to wake, Emmett," he said as he offered his son comfort. "Sometimes the dream just has to finish before the mind will accept anything else. It's not your fault, Emmett." Looking down at Bella, he touched his hand to her cheek before lifting her from his lap. "Shh," he soothed when her eyes snapped open tiredly and she grasped onto his sweater with a desperate hold. "I'll be right back, Bella, I promise," he said as Emmett enfolded her in his arms.

She tried to speak, tried to beg him not to leave her but couldn't get out anything more than incoherent mumbles. Her mind was too tired for her to process the words she wanted to speak and she panted harshly as she tried to hold onto his clothing. He bent down over her, soothing her again with his voice as he kissed her brow and touched her cheek. His fingers slid into her palm; gently uncurling her fist and he lowered her hand to rest on the bed as he pulled the blankets up under her chin. The tremors rocking through her were a mix of her upset and the shivering caused by the frequent chills tormenting her because, even with the three heavy blankets, she was unable to stay warm.

"I won't be long," he promised her and kissed her forehead once more before standing straight and taking the used syringe and wrappings from the bedside table.

He looked back as he stepped toward the open door, watching as she turned to bury her face in Emmett's shoulder and mourned the scent of her tears that filled the air. He heard Emmett growl softly, the sound a promise of protection, and watched as Bella's trembling seemed to calm. Nodding once to himself as he continued along his path and stepped out of the room, Carlisle carried the things in his hands down to his office and disposed of them in the medical disposal container he had started keeping in his office since Bella became a part of their lives. Taking in a deep breath as he searched for a calm he didn't quite feel, he moved into the kitchen and filled the tea kettle with water.

Setting the teapot on the stove and turning the burner on high, he moved to the hall closet and smiled as he silently thanked his wife's thoughtfulness. Taking the red rubber hot water bottle from the high shelf, he carried it back into the kitchen and set it on the counter. He found himself longing for the days when he would have a fire already burning in the bedroom and a pan with which to put hot coals in to warm the bed. He didn't have that now, modern conveniences having done away with the centuries old method and sighed softly as he waited for the water to boil.

Bella had spoken in her sleep, the words slurred together and not making much sense to him. Crossing his arms over his chest as his brow furrowed, he looked down at the floor. Carlisle tried to make sense of what she had said, but found himself lacking any kind of explanation. He wanted to help her, he needed to help her, but he couldn't until he knew the full story and there was a part of him that doubted she would give him the truth willingly. She kept too much to herself, hiding her hurt and fear until it tore its way out through her dreams. Pressing his lips together in a thin worried line, he looked up at the first soft sounds of the tea kettle's whistle.

Uncorking the red rubber bag in his hand, he turned off the stove and carefully poured the boiling water inside. Replacing the plastic seal and turning the bag to make certain no water escaped the cap, he carried it upstairs. The words she spoke wouldn't leave him, haunting his mind as they repeated like a mantra, and he stopped halfway up the staircase as his eyes narrowed and he tried once more to make sense of them.

"I'll be better," Carlisle spoke Bella's words aloud, his voice but a whisper, and shook his head. "Better at what?" he asked of no one as he continued his journey up the stairs.

Stepping into the room he shared with Esme, he smiled sadly at the sight of his children that filled the bed. Moving to the end of the bed near Bella's feet, he lifted the blankets and tucked the water bottle inside. He hoped the added heat would bring her some comfort and looked at Emmett with a curious expression when his son tipped his head toward the bed.

"She's not asleep, not yet," Emmett said, his voice too low for Bella to hear. "She keeps opening her eyes every now and then looking for you."

A small sad smile tugged his lips up at the side and Carlisle moved closer to the bed as he stepped out of his shoes. Removing the tie from underneath his sweater, he sat down on the bed behind Bella before lying down and curling his body around hers protectively. She whimpered softly, her head turning to look at him as her eyes remained only barely open. Kissing her temple and encouraging her gently to sleep, Carlisle promised her that he would stay with them and shushed her gently when she tried to speak.

"It's alright, Sweetheart," Carlisle said as he tugged the blankets up higher around her shoulders. "I'm right here, so is Emmett."

"Don't leave," she begged, the words slurred together and almost incoherent.

"We won't," Carlisle assured her and smoothed his hand down over her hair. "Go to sleep, Sweetheart. We'll be here when you wake."

She turned her face back to Emmett and tucked her head under his chin as she finally gave into the darkness tugging at her brain. Sleep came quickly to her and both vampires curled around her listened intently to the rhythm of her heart as they kept watch for any sign she may be having another nightmare. Each one of his children was precious to him, both those he had changed himself and those he had not. To see any of them in pain was difficult, but to see Bella like this and know that there was little he could do to battle her dreams was almost torture for him and Carlisle was powerless against the worry that held him bound to her side.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Emmett asked softly and watched Carlisle nod once, his expression full of regret. "What can I do to help her while you're gone?"

"I'll give her another dose of the anti nausea medicine before I leave for the hospital. I should set up a saline drip for her now to help with the dehydration, but that will take a few hours at least to complete. I don't want to run the risk of her tearing out the cannula if she has another nightmare tonight." Carlisle sighed as he touched the back of his bent finger to her cheek. "She has a mild fever. Try and make sure she eats something tomorrow, soup or yoghurt, something light until she can keep the food down. Watch her for any signs that she may be ill, aside from what her nightmares are causing. Any signs of flu or illness let me know of immediately."

"Is there anything else I can do?" Emmett asked and growled softly to soothe Bella back to sleep when she stirred slightly. "Anything else I should look out for?"

Pursing his lips as he nodded, Carlisle spoke softly to Bella when she stirred between them again and hushed her gently. Soothing her with his voice and promising her that she was safe, he kissed her hair. Her breath hitched, broken whimpers beginning to form mumbled words and both Emmett and Carlisle's expressions held grief and worry when she begged for Edward to come back to her. Carlisle gently turned her onto her back and smoothed his hand against her cheek as tears began to seep from between her lashes.

"Oh, baby girl," Carlisle mourned her pain as he kissed her temple. "We're home, Sweetheart. You're not alone."

Her eyes fluttered open halfway, her tears and exhaustion blurring her vision as she turned her head toward Carlisle, responding to the sound of his voice. She mumbled his name as she struggled to get her arms out from underneath the blankets, her movements clumsy and slow. She reached out for him and he accepted her immediately, holding her when she wrapped her arms around his neck. Kissing her hair as he turned to lie on his back, Carlisle pulled Bella gently until she was lying half on top of him and rubbed her back slowly while he soothed her with his voice as he sang to her.

"Hush a bye…don't you cry…go to sleep, my little ba-aby," Carlisle's low tenor was melodic and gentle as he sang to her and felt her relax against him as she settled once more into sleep. "When you wake you shall have all the pretty little po-onies…"

"Did you ever have kids?" Emmett asked quietly a few moments after Carlisle finished the song.

"What?" Carlisle frowned as he looked at Emmett.

"When you were human," he clarified, "did you ever have kids?"

"No," Carlisle smiled a bit sadly and petted Bella's hair slowly. "Why do you ask?"

"You take to it so naturally with her, you have with all of us," Emmett gave a soft pout as he shrugged. "I just thought that maybe you were a dad before you were turned."

"No," Carlisle smiled as he looked down on Bella and tipped his head up from the pillow to kiss her hair. "I never even had a wife or a lover. I always wanted a family though. A large family," he laughed softly.

"Well you certainly have that now," Emmett teased and listed to his father chuckle.

"Yes, I suppose I do," Carlisle agreed.

:::::

Alice stopped running as she came to the edge of the cliff, knowing that she was far enough outside of Edward's range that he wouldn't be able to hear her thoughts or see her visions. Sitting down in the flowering grasses, she crossed her legs and closed her eyes as she gave herself over to her visions. Smiling softly as she felt herself being gently lifted and settled into Jasper's lap, she turned and curled against him, her arm going around his back as she tucked her head under his chin. She felt him kiss her hair and use his talent to wrap her in the warmth of his love. Sighing softly as she pressed her hand against his chest, she watched over Carlisle and Emmett as they guarded Bella in her sleep.

She frowned, her anger at Edward drawing Jasper's attention and he let her feel the tendrils of his curiosity and concern. Tipping her head up to look at him, she met his lips for a kiss before telling him everything she had seen in her visions from the moment Carlisle had found Bella outside the drugstore. He rubbed her back as he frowned, worry gripping his heart as he felt that he was once again to blame for all that had happened. Looking down when Alice slapped her hand against his chest, he felt the silent reprimand mixed with the fierceness of her love and smiled sadly.

He knew that she hated it when he blamed himself, but who else was there to blame? It was his lack of control that had led to Bella getting hurt and Edward demanding that they all leave in the first place. It was true that he had lost control before and while he had hated himself for it each time previously, this time it was much worse. This time he hadn't lost control with a stranger or a simple acquaintance, this time he had lost control with his own sister. Whether Edward had wanted to admit it at the time or not, it had been clear to him from the beginning that Edward and Bella were mates, the truth of it written in their emotions.

"Stop that," Alice spoke aloud as she framed his face with her hands and pulled his head down to look into his eyes. "Bella doesn't blame you, she never did. It's time you stopped blaming yourself."

"You said it yourself, Ali," Jasper sighed sadly. "She's suffering."

"Not because of what you did. You weren't there when Edward came to us and demanded that we leave. He wouldn't tell any of us what he said to Bella or how he left her and he made me swear not to watch him before he went to her," Alice shook her head. "Whatever is happening now, Jas, it's not because of you. It's whatever that idiot of a brother of mine said. I never should have promised him not to watch."

"Speaking of which," Jasper said with a touch of amusement. "I thought you promised Bella you wouldn't watch her while we were out hunting."

"I only promised I wouldn't watch her directly," Alice said with a grin. "I never said anything about not watching Carlisle or Emmett."

"Always a loophole," he teased her and laughed when she pecked him on the lips.

"Of course!" Alice said as she jumped from his lap and offered him a hand to help him to his feet. "Now go," she said once he was standing.

"Go?" Jasper repeated with confusion.

"Yes," Alice said and turned Jasper around, smiling when he chuckled at her manhandling of him. "Go home. Go see Bella. You've fed more than enough already and we can always play later."

Shaking his head as he turned around and snatched her up in his arms, Jasper lifted her up for a kiss. He listened to her laugh as he continued to kiss her and growled playfully when she pushed his face away. He set her down before she could bounce out of his arms and gave her a lopsided grin when she pushed him forward again.

"Alright, pushy," he teased her and sighed softly as his jovial mood fell. "Alice…"

"Go," she insisted gently, her expression affectionate. "She needs you and you need her. Go, I'll be home later."

Nodding sagely, Jasper brushed the side of his curled index finger along the curve of her chin and smiled as he looked deep into her eyes. He loved her with every fiber of his being, his beautiful wife tiny and cherished. He'd give her anything she wanted, pull down a star if she asked him for it and smiled as he watched the love she felt fill her eyes.

"I love you too, Jasper Whitlock," Alice whispered and stood on her toes to kiss him. "Now go home. Our sister needs you."

"What aren't you telling me?" he asked sensing her hesitance and listened to her sigh as he felt her reluctance. "Alice…"

Sighing softly and shaking her head, she didn't know how to tell him the one thing she wasn't supposed to know. Bella had sent her so many emails that first month they were away and while they had all been returned undeliverable, she had still seen them through her visions. She doubted Bella was aware that she was able to, thinking her human sister had written them only to get her thoughts out, but she wasn't certain how to tell Jasper this. She felt him gently influence her and squeezed his hand as she nodded.

"She thinks you're mad at her," Alice said softly. "That's why you've been sensing her fear. She's not afraid of you, she's only afraid that you're mad at her."

"For what?" Jasper asked as his voice and expression displayed his confusion in full. "What the hell would I have to be mad at her for?"

Alice sighed once more and Jasper frowned as he felt her sadness. "For bleeding, Jasper. Bella thinks you're mad at her because she got the paper cut, because she wasn't careful enough."

"It was an accident," he said with disbelief.

"An accident that split our family apart," Alice shook her head sadly. "Jasper, when I came back here to get her, and all the time on our way to and from Italy, she kept staring at her hand – her finger when she thought we weren't looking. Edward never noticed it, but I did. The expression on her face, I'm certain she was cursing herself. She doesn't see it as you almost attacking her; she sees it as her blood hurting you. She's blaming herself for everything that happened as much as you've been blaming yourself. You two need each other in order to heal from this. Please go to her now, before Edward gets any closer to us. He'll only make things worse because he won't stop to listen."

Jasper pulled her close for a tight hug before releasing her and disappeared through the trees. She watched him until he was too far to be seen before dashing forward and leaping off the cliff into the valley below. She had no intention of talking to Edward until Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper had time to give Bella the support and care she needed. Her sister was holding on by barely a thread and with each moment that passed that delicate thread frayed. Whatever Edward had said to Bella wasn't as easily fixed as he thought it was. His words and presence only masked the symptoms – the truth… Whatever her brother had said hadn't just stopped Bella from questioning their family leaving, it had broken her.

:::::

Carlisle lifted his arm from where it had been resting on Bella's back and looked at his watch. He had maybe an hour left before he would need to change and head into the hospital and his human daughter was still sleeping soundly on top of him. He didn't perspire or have need for a shower, but knew that the act of doing so would refresh him for the day ahead. Tipping his head up from the pillow to kiss her hair, he slowly began to move and, with Emmett's help, soon had Bella tucked against her brother's side. He touched her hair once and smiled sadly before standing from the bed.

"Have to go already?" Emmett asked and saw Carlisle's mouth tip up in a lopsided grin.

"In a while," he nodded. "I'm going to get the things from my bag and set up an IV for her. The saline will help her recover from the dehydration and she's been sleeping soundly enough that I don't anticipate her waking for a while longer yet."

"How long do I leave it in?" Emmett asked as he turned his attention down on Bella.

"Two hours should do it," Carlisle said as he reappeared with the kit and items needed. "It will be on a relatively slow but steady flow, just don't let her move too much or the cannula will come out. It won't hurt her," he assured Emmett when he saw his son's look of alarm. "I just won't be here to start a new IV for her and you don't have the training to insert it yourself." Bella moaned softly and Carlisle bent down over her to kiss her temple. "Hush, Sweetheart. Just rest now," he soothed as he started the line and applied tape to the back of her hand. "Clamp this," he instructed Emmett and motioned to the plastic clamp on the tubing, "before you remove the IV or any residual fluid will go everywhere."

Standing from the bed and frowning as he looked around, Carlisle sighed and realized that he had nowhere to hang the saline bag. Turning startled eyes on Jasper when his son's arm came into view, he watched as the southern vampire attached a 3M adhesive hook to the wall and took the saline bag from him to hang it on. Grinning at both the surprise and confusion he read from Carlisle, Jasper shrugged and looked at him.

"Alice," he said simply and watched Carlisle chuckle as he nodded.

"I'll be home later this afternoon," Carlisle said and sat back down on the side of the bed as he touched Bella's hair. "Call me at once if you have any concerns for her health," he instructed his sons, meeting Emmett's eyes first before Jasper's.

"We'll take care of her, Dad," Emmett said and Jasper grinned at the feelings of affection and pride that his brother's words inspired in Carlisle.

"We'll take care of her," Jasper repeated his brother's promise a few moments later as he felt the worry take hold of Carlisle once more.

"She's been having nightmares," Carlisle cautioned Jasper. "They've been fairly intense and she's been sick after them."

"Sick?" Jasper repeated, his eyes narrowed in question.

"Physically ill, vomiting," Carlisle explained as he stood and moved toward the closet. "Singing helps," he said with a soft smile.

"So does growling," Emmett said and watched his brother turn an intensely curious gaze on him. "After James," he said simply and Jasper gave a short nod of understanding.

"And after she sleeps?" Jasper asked as he studied their emotions, both his brother and father filled deeply with worry and sorrow for Bella.

"Make certain she eats," Carlisle said softly as he moved to leave the room. "She's lost weight, too much weight."

Jasper nodded quietly and turned his attention on Emmett when he felt his brother's protectiveness grow stronger. Looking down for a moment before ghosting to stand by the window, Jasper stood motionless with his hand clasping his wrist in front of him. He was certain that the family was still cautious of him being too close to Bella and responded to what he believed was Emmett warning him away. He didn't meet his brother's eyes as he listened to the sounds of the water running as Carlisle showered and changed quickly.

"Does her scent still bother you?" Emmett asked softly, his brow furrowed as he waited for Jasper to meet his eyes.

"No," Jasper shook his head. "Not as much as it once did."

"Then why are you across the room?"

Looking to his brother, Jasper met Emmett's eyes with a questioning frown. He could feel the anticipation, the impatience in the burly vampire's emotions and knew that Emmett was waiting for something, but he couldn't believe his brother would actually be waiting for him to join them on the bed. He had felt his family's emotions while they had been away from Forks, Esme's disappointment, Carlisle's worry and hesitance, Rosalie's anger and even Emmett's caution. He knew that his family was watching him and waiting for him to mess up, to attack Bella or someone else again, so why would his brother be expecting him to be so close to the girl?

"Jasper?" Emmett called his brother's attention back to him and waited for almost five minutes, before frowning deeply. "Why are you across the room?" he repeated his question slowly, his tone demanding an answer.

"Jasper?" Carlisle stepped back into the room, dried and dressed, having heard the conversation from the shower. "Son?" he placed his hand on Jasper's shoulder.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea," Jasper said as he felt their caution and hesitance, his own fear causing him to misread their emotions.

"Jasper, wait," Carlisle frowned as he looked into the southern vampire's stoic expression, able to feel the strands of fear and doubt Jasper wasn't able to suppress. "Son, do you think we blame you?" Carlisle asked as he began to understand Jasper's near-mute level of silence during their time in New York.

Jasper remained silent as he fought to reign in his talent, knowing that he was unintentionally projecting his own emotions. It wasn't the first time he had thought that Carlisle and Esme must regret having taken him into their family. This wasn't the first time he had messed up in such a manner. Closing his eyes as he turned to leave, he was unprepared for the wealth of love and acceptance Carlisle pushed toward him. Opening his eyes and frowning in confusion, Jasper stared at the blond doctor as he tried to understand what he was reading from the man.

"I have never blamed you for what happened, Jasper," Carlisle said. "It was an accident and could have happened to any of us. I have never been upset with you over this."

"Ithaca," he shook his head as he thought back over all the emotions he had read from Carlisle.

"Edward," Carlisle answered with a heavy sigh. "He refused to tell us what he said to Bella. Refused to allow any of us to see her before we left and as soon as he knew we were settled in New York, he fled to hunt Victoria. I have been upset and disappointed in the actions he took in regards to what happened, not you."

"I could have killed her," Jasper said, his voice almost too soft for Carlisle to hear the words.

"Son," Carlisle cupped Jasper's face in his hand to keep him from turning away. "Look at me." Mourning silently for the fear he saw in Jasper's eyes, he held his son's gaze. "What happened was an accident. It could have been Edward of Rosalie or even Esme who reacted to her spilled blood. The fact that it was you does not mean that you are weak or dangerous. You are my son, part of my family and I will help you through this as I have before."

"J's'pr."

Both Carlisle and Jasper turned immediately at the sound of the whispered mumbling to see Bella lying in the circle of Emmett's arms, her bleary eyes less than halfway open. Carlisle moved to go to her only to be stopped by the sight of the tears on her face. He frowned as he watched her close her eyes and wondered if she wasn't truly awake, if she was perhaps trapped in the memories of a nightmare instead. He heard Jasper's intake of breath and looked back at his son, watching as the southern vampire grimaced and rubbed his chest as though he were in pain.

"I'm sorry," Bella whispered, her voice betraying her emotions as she looked back up at Jasper.

"Aw, darlin'," Jasper stepped around Carlisle and moved toward the bed. "You've got nothing to be sorry for," he told her as sat on the far corner of the bed.

"I-I hurt you," Bella stumbled over the words, her mind heavy with a confusing mixture of doubt and exhaustion.

"What makes you say that?" Jasper asked as he watched her blink slowly until her eyes remained closed.

"Edward told me how it burns," she said slowly, her voice losing volume with each word as she gave into the sleep pulling at her.

"Burns?" Jasper repeated with a shake of his head and looked at Emmett when he found that Carlisle had left.

"I don't know," Emmett sighed. "She's so tired. Half the time when she talks what she says doesn't make sense."

"What happened?" Jasper asked as he tried to understand. "The night of the vote, I didn't sense any of this on her. How did she get this bad?"

Emmett frowned as he smoothed his hand over Bella's hair. "Carlisle said she's been like this for a while. She can't keep food down, she can't sleep…" He turned his eyes up to his brother. "How does she feel to you?"

Jasper stared at Bella, rubbing his chest absently as he focused on all that he was reading from her. How did she feel? She felt…broken. Her heart was full of despair and desperation. The sense of worthlessness that he had felt from her when they had run from James was almost nothing compared to what darkened her heart now. Now she felt…

"Hollow," Jasper whispered, his voice hoarse. "It's the best way to describe it all. She feels hollow."

"Hollow?" Emmett repeated and looked down on Bella when she gave a half sob in her sleep. "Shh," he whispered to her as he tightened his arms around her, holding her as tightly as he dared. "What do you mean 'hollow'?" he asked looking back up at Jasper.

"It's the only way I know how to describe it," Jasper said as he rubbed his chest. "Just…hollow…like she's given up."

"What do we do?" Emmett asked.

"I have an idea," Jasper sighed heavily. "But it probably won't be pretty."

Frowning with confusion at his brother, Emmett shook his head as he silently asked for an explanation. Pressing his lips together into a thin line, Jasper released a slow breath through his nose and reluctantly moved closer on the bed. He didn't like this idea, but he feared it may be the only way to get the truth. Taking in a deep breath and closing his eyes as he accepted the burn in his throat that her scent inspired, he released the breath and took in another. If he was going to help her he would have to learn to control his thirst around her.

Adjusting to the burn and holding himself immobile until he felt completely calm and in control, he moved closer. Leaning down close to her he began to speak softly, sensing Emmett's shock and surprise when he did a flawless imitation of Edward's voice. Leaning close enough to kiss her cheek, Jasper spoke to her softly and used his talent to make her more willing to follow his every command.

"Bella, listen to me," he said softly. "I'm standing with you here in the forest. No, shh," Jasper whispered to her and touched her face as he sent soothing waves of comfort to her. "What I said to you the day we left, the day he…the day I left you. I need you to repeat to me what I said."

"Jasper," Emmett whispered low, in his voice a warning. "This doesn't feel…right."

"I know," he answered, his voice too low for Bella to hear. "But how else are we going to get the answers we need? Edward hasn't been willing to talk and Bella…"

"Bella doesn't talk about the bad," Emmett said with a deep frown.

"Not good," Bella mumbled slowly, brokenly as the words were stuttered and slurred together at the same time. "Not good…'nough…never exist…"

"What?" Emmett shook his head and looked at Jasper. "Did that make sense to you?"

"No," Jasper frowned, "but it gave me a start."

"A start?" Emmett repeated, his expression making it clear that he was wondering over his brother's sanity.

"Not good enough and never exist," Jasper repeated Bella's mumbled words. "Two starting points and if used properly it should get one of them to tell us the whole story."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Emmett asked warily.

"With my help apparently," Esme said from the open doorway, her face a mask of concern and affection. "Alice," she said with a smile at their questioning glances.