OMG slowest update ever! I'm in summer semester right now, teaching four half time courses which, so my father tells me, is the same as teaching eight regular courses. Eight! Anyway, things may drag for the next month for this reason. I promise, in fall, I'll be more sane. Anyway. Hope you enjoy part two here.
Of course, things were never simple. Peach's presence had been noticed at the theater-with her iconic garb it would have been difficult not to be—and, before the applause had fully died away, she was being mobbed by fans who had missed her without even fully realizing it. People wanted autographs, their children kissed, advice or pronouncements on various local issues. Peach could not refuse, knowing her duty and doing her best to remain cheerful in spite of the fact that she had not intended to do this in the slightest. As soon as she had attended to the wishes of her immediate admirers, someone two rows over called to her and Peach threaded her way through the departing audience towards them. Almost at once, she was called away still further by a group of children who had picked a special bouquet for her and the press of the crowd soon separated her from Mario, who was rather reluctant to leave his seat in any kind of a hurry. Probably, he assumed she would just come back when she had finished what she was doing, little realizing just how long this was likely to take.
Over the course of the next hour or so, Peach made her way around the castle grounds, smiling, waving, and making pleasant conversation, clutching her gradually wilting bouquet in stiff fingers. So focused was she on her role, her duty, that there was, thankfully, no space for her to feel despair that the very thing she wanted to avoid had been brought to pass, or resentment towards Mario that he had persuaded her come back out into this. So, when she started to hear a familiar buzz and whir, just at the edge of hearing, it didn't even register to her first. When a few moments later, it did, she felt panic—her life was complicated enough already right now- but also, sickeningly, relief. As if in answer to a prayer, she'd been provided with a way of escaping her admirers without offending anyone.
So when, a moment later, the koopa clown car came careening over the trees, lurching from side to side like a drunken ox, she was not in the least surprised. From long experience, she knew resistance would be useless. So she stood perfectly still. No point in getting hot and disheveled for nothing. But, as the claws closed around her arm, she gave a high, quivering, bell like scream. It was the proper thing for a princess to do, what everyone would be expecting and wanting her to do. But Peach's reaction wasn't just a performance, it was a habit. This had happened to her so many times, ever since she was a little girl, that now she practically went on auto pilot, even remembering to raise her left ankle high as she was hauled over the side of the clown car, not, as the viewers might think, as a way of kicking her heels like a proper damsel in distress, but because the railing on that side was slightly lopsided and, if she didn't get it out of the way fast enough, her ankle would knock painfully against it.
With another crazy lurch, that still made her stomach turn even though she had been expecting it, the clown car turned and went bobbing back up over the trees. Knowing that looking at the ground would just make her even more queasy, Peach sank to the floor, resting her back against the smooth white side of the car, that by now seemed curved specially to fit it, and drawing her knees up to her chin. Looking down at the dirty paint between her feet, she let her eyes start to un-focus. She wasn't sure which of Bowser's castles they were heading for but, even the closest was over an hour away so it would be a long ride.
"You really should get the railing fixed." Peach was never sure exactly what had made her speak. Perhaps her new restlessness simply couldn't bear the thought of sitting in silence for that long.
"What's that?" Bowser growled, looking back over his shoulder and taking his hands off the control panel in the process.
"Watch where you're going," Peach snapped, feeling herself blush almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Rarely was she this sharp, even with Bowser, and having her feelings just burst out of her like this made her rather embarrassed, as if her heart and body weren't her own anymore. "Look," she muttered, almost apologetically, as Bowser obligingly turned back to steering the car. "It will already be dark by the time we get to your castle and I don't really want to be up here at night any longer than I need to. It gets so cold."
"Not any more." Bowser grinned back at her for a moment. "I had a heating system installed."
"Oh, that's good...I guess." Peach wasn't really sure what to say and the silence started to become conspicuous.
"What were you saying, Princess?" Bowser asked awkwardly at last. "Is something wrong with the railing?"
"Yes. It's crooked right there so I hit my ankle every time...and would it hurt you to install a chair for me or something?"
"Don't push your luck, Princess," Bowser sneered, having at least partially regained his composure. "I already installed a heating system...I will have the railing looked at though," he conceded sourly.
Peach desperately wanted to say thank you, if only to assuage her own guilt over being cranky but she could sense doing so would be considered rude in koopa culture. So, instead, she asked, "Why did you decide to kidnap me, today I mean?"
"It was a beautiful day for flying. So I was just out and then I realized I was close by you so I thought I should drop in."
"That's nice of you but you didn't need to kidnap me. You could come to the festival like everybody else."
"And waste my time socializing with those morons? Think again, Princess."
"I'm sure they can't all be that bad. Mario would have been glad to spar with you if you'd asked."
Bowser scowled at her. "Mario? Bah! He's a loser. He'll never go all out unless something valuable is on the line."
"You mean like me." Scowling in her turn, Peach lowered her face into her knees and wished the clown car was big enough to allow her to turn her back on Bowser. "I don't appreciate being the bait to goad Mario into fighting you," she snapped.
"Goad, eh?" Bowser mumbled, clearly not sure what the word meant. "Now I wouldn't say goad, well, not exactly. But, if it was a goad, it would the very best goad." As he spoke the car swung sideways and began forming wide descending circles, meaning they were nearing a castle. Stumbling to her feet, Peach took a glance over side. It looked like they were going to the castle in the Bowser Zone but she couldn't be sure. By now all his castles looked the same to her, becoming less distinctive with familiarity, rather than otherwise. They must have made record time as the sun was only now sending a vivid orange blaze across the sky, against which the castle spires stood out black and jagged. As they came thumping down on the upper loading platform, Peach graciously extended her hand in invitation for Bowser to help her out of the car but was neither surprised nor disappointed when he did not. He never had before. And yet, now she did feel something, a bit of yearning, gradually growing stronger, to be treated like a lady, the way the Mario had gone to get her candy and lemonade, only more formal still.
"If you would provide me with an escort to my room," she said with every ounce of dignity she could muster, drawing herself up to her full height...though, admittedly, that only reached Bowser's chin and then only because he hunched over so.
"Yes, yes, of course," he replied gruffly, all but snatching a passing paratroopa out of the air. "You, Sargent, show the Princess to her rooms.
"Yes, sir," the koopa almost squealed, flopping like a hooked fish as he struggled to regain his balance, then took off down the hall as fast as he could, though, with her much longer legs, Peach was able to keep up with ease. In reality, she was not in any great hurry to get to her room. Being kidnapped by Bowser was, above all, supremely boring. Not caring for books himself, Bowser had never thought to supply her with any and, while there was a television in her room, it only got koopa channels, which were usually not very interesting either, consisting mostly of inane game shows, and Peach resigned herself to yet another night wasted watching "Koopa Bachelor," "Big Bowser," or any one of the hundred shows too numerous to count where the contestants had to perform various dangerous or disgusting stunts. What she wouldn't give for even the most basic arts and crafts or cooking show.
Late that night, Kamek, former governor and chief adviser to Lord Bowser, was started out of a sound sleep by a booming pounding on his door, a sound he realized with despair could mean only one thing.
"Kamek, tell me, what is a goad?" asked Bowser looking severely at his chief adviser, once Kamek had pulled on a robe and stumbled into his anteroom in response to the overwhelmingly loud knocking.
"You got me up in the middle of the night to answer that?" Puffing himself up with affronted dignity, Kamek eyed his sovereign narrowly.
"Yes, for that. Now answer the question, you worthless sack of worthless sack contents."
"A goad is a pointy stick," said Kamek in a superior tone, "Used for poking draft animals to make them go faster."
"I see...it's a kind of weapon then."
"Well, I suppose it could be but...Lord Bowser, are you you're feeling alright?"
"Never felt better. At long last, I will defeat my hated rival." Bringing his fist down on the table, Bowser gave a toothy grin, and Kamek winced as the reverberations of the impact made his carefully stacked piles of books and papers tumble down into a hopeless mess.
"Lord Bowser, what are you talking about?"
"Don't you see? Peach mentioned this goad thing while we were talking about fighting Mario. It must be his special weakness...and, because she told me, she must want me to win."
"Your logic is astounding," Kamek replied in a tone so dry the words seemed almost to grate like sand, but his sarcasm was completely lost on his master who continued to reflect jubilantly on his upcoming victory. "Lord Bowser," almost shouting, Kamek tried to break into his sovereign's revery with the sheer volume of his voice. "Lord Bowser, perhaps you would be good enough to tell me, what exactly is going on between you and Peach?"
"You know very well noting is going on, at least nothing new...yet." Bowser crossed his arms, glaring at Kamek, and the adviser cringed, realizing he'd jumped form the frying pan into the fire. Having managed to relieve Bowser of his ludicrous optimism, he now had to deal with this depressed and grouchy version of his master instead.
"Really, your Evilness," he said, using his best chiding voice from when when he had been Bowser's caretaker. "Do you really think this is proper behavior for the King of the Koopas? Pining after a girl who doesn't like you is not exactly dignified and, besides, you're a widower. You've been married before."
"Peach and I are married now." Snarling, Bowser kicked the table, destroying any order that might have remained to Kamak's research, and probably cracking the wood as well.
"Yes, yes, so you say. But, in the eyes of the rest of the world, it's your word against hers. Unless she backs up your story, no one else will ever believe it." Bowser growled menacingly but Kamek clamped his beak tightly and refused to back down, eyes steady, jaw hard.
"Well, it doesn't matter any way," Bowser said coldly after a moment, waving his claws airily in Kamek's face. "Peach is my Lady so she doesn't have to like me."
"Your what?" Shuffling over to the table, Kamek began putting the book sand papers in order to hide his consternation.
"My Lady, like in the legend of Sir Koopalot. He loved the wife of the Koopa King so they could never marry but just being able to serve her was good enough for him."
"Your Evilness, those tales of Sir Koopalot are just children's stories...and even if they were true, you're no knight. You're the king himself and you have a duty..."
"To marry and produce an heir? I already did that. I have seven. I should be able to do what I want now. End of discussion." Bowser moved noisily out of the room, stopping in the doorway to look back over his shoulder. "Also, find me a goad, and quickly."
"How quickly, sire?" asked Kamek warily, hoping he would be able to mange at least a few more hours of sleep.
"By morning. There's no telling when Mario might arrive." Bowser lumbered off down the hall, not looking back to notice the look of utter exasperation on his chief adviser's face.
