Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Rating: T; angst and (kind of?) self-abuse in this chapter.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! I really enjoyed reading them and I'm glad to know that you guys appreciate my story. I'm not confident about my writing at all so your support really meant a lot to me. Sorry if there were any major grammatical errors. Grammar is definitely not my strength. Also, sorry if anyone is Out of Character, or if my OC is Mary Sue. I'm trying to make this story not cliche as possible! Anyway, onwards, my friends!
Dreams Versus. Reality
She looks beautiful today. Her hair floats around her in soft, wispy waves, and he suppressed the urge to run his hand through her brown locks. Her eyes shine brightly, and a trusting smile graced her face.
"Kyoya..." She murmured softly to him, hoping to gain a reaction.
He only ever took off that mask of indifference when it was just him and Kumiko alone together, but today was an exception. Though they were alone, he wasn't going to let his emotions get in the way of what has to be done. She herself requested that he do this, and he was definitely not going to fail her.
"Hurry." Came his curt, one worded reply.
The two of them ran towards the river. It was mid afternoon, and the sun hung lowly in the sky as if trying to make up it's mind about either dipping behind the mountain to create a beautiful array of reds and yellows or to climb slowly back into the sky and blind everyone with eye piercing yellow. Hibari wished desperately that it were the latter. "Turning back time, huh?" He mused quietly to himself. If only he could still do that. Then he wouldn't have to...
They reached the riverbanks. There was nobody there, just the way he liked it. His presence must have either scared off everyone, or it was a freaky coincidence. Coincidence or not, it just made it more convenient for him to do what has to be done.
He stopped abruptly. He sensed another presence, standing not far from where he and Kumiko currently stood. He glanced around wildly, one hand still holding onto Kumiko, the other instinctively going to his sleeves and wrapping around the sleek handle of one of his tonfas. When he realized that there was nobody there, he felt a spike of anger at his own stupidity. Now was not the time to be paranoid about anything.
"Kyoya?" She questioned again. He turned to her, wrapping his arms around her. He pulled her closer to him, letting her head droop onto his chest.
"Are you sure? There must be another way. There must be. I'll find it, and you won't have to..."
"Kyoya. I've already steeled my heart for this. I knew it would happen sooner or later. Don't raise false hope anymore! It'll just hurt us both. You'll be happier without me around, I know it. I won't be restricting you anymore, and you can have your freedom again!" A low chuckle escaped from her lips. "Just like a bird, huh, Kyoya? A skylark freewheeling in the sky. I'll look for you when I'm up there."
His chest hurt. He wasn't used to this tightening feeling at all. He wanted to claw at his heart, but he mustn't show weakness in front of her. She'll waver, and then she'll crack. He has to stay strong for her. She cast her eyes downwards, as if she was ashamed of something. Taking advantage of her position, his eyes flashed pain for a second before returning to it's previously emotionless state.
Reaching into his sleeves, he pulled out his retractable tonfas, snapping them open neatly. He paused once more, sensing the presence watching him once more. He dismissed it as another bout of paranoia, and looked at his tonfas. It would be so cruel of him to beat Koizumi to death. It would be needlessly painful and unnecessarily messy. But the inner sadistic side of him called for blood. It would be so easy to just slam it into her head. She wouldn't feel any pain, because she'd be unconscious. Then he could methodically cut off all the nerves in her body, and then he'd finish with a final blow to her temple.
"Make it quick, Kyoya. Please...I-I don't want to feel...I'm still scared..."
Her quiet sobs reached his ears, and he threw away his tonfas in disgust. What kind of a monster was he? Here he was, contemplating how to beat his beloved to death. He should just grant her a quick death. It was the least he could do anyway. He pulled her closer with his one free arm. No, the least he could do was hold her closer. He wasn't a monster.
Pulling out a gun, he felt his hand grow clammy as it touched the uneven cool metal of the deadly weapon. He wanted to throw it away, just as he'd done with his precious tonfa. He didn't want to put a bullet in her head. He loved her. He didn't want to lose her again, especially just after he'd gain her trust. He wanted to save her, not kill her. It wasn't her fault...
It was his.
Pressing the gun to her temple, he stilled his heart. Just pull the trigger, he told himself. It was easy. An action that didn't require any thinking. Just imagine she's another herbivore that needs to be properly disciplined. Just imagine...
"Just do it."
She was looking up at him again. He could see the obvious glimmer of tears in her eyes, and he slammed his own eyes shut. He didn't want to see her pain. He was hurting too.
He pulled the trigger.
The previously verdant surroundings were suddenly painted red. Hibari Kyoya clutched the limp body in his arms tightly and resisted the urge to bury his face into her now bloodied hair and breathe in her scent one last time.
Let her go, he told himself.
And so he lowered the body to the floor gently and stood up gracefully, dusting off his now soiled suit. He stared down at the body, and was satisfied with the lack of emotions that came with seeing her lying dead on the floor. Hibari Kyoya will not fall to such herbivorous emotions, after all.
The presence came back, much stronger than before. There was even a tinge of fear and anger to the previously neutral aura. Hibari Kyoya looked up and saw his younger self staring at him, shock evident in the younger male's face. Hibari's fist clenched.
He felt furious anger boiling in his heart. Frustration, pain, grief, self-pity, even love, it all came back to him in a rush. The various emotions confused him. He wanted to cry and laugh and kill someone all at the same time. It was all too much for him. So he molded all the emotions into carefully controlled anger, and looked up to meet his younger self in the eye. He saw his younger self's eyes widen another fraction of an inch, the teenager instinctively taking a step away from the man that was now emitting rolling waves of killing intent directed at him.
Naive.
Stupid.
It's all your fault.
You couldn't save her.
With a snarl of pure rage, Hibari found himself sprinting towards his unsuspecting younger self, tonfas scooped up from their resting place on the crimson cement. He smashed it into his younger self's face, feeling a sense of satisfaction at the bruised flesh and broken nose that was sure to come from such a powerful blow.
Younger Hibari flew back with the blow, having been caught so unexpectedly that he didn't even manage to bring up his own tonfas to defend himself.
Pathetic. You're not strong enough. You didn't protect her.
Younger Hibari landed in a crumpled heap on the floor, his lips parted in a silent cry. Even now, while being attacked in such a surprised and unfair situation, his pride will not allow him to cry out. His stupid, stupid pride.
….I'm so sorry, Kumiko. It's all my fault.
Hibari sat up in the hospital, one hand clutching his broken nose. The nurses bustling about next to him suddenly went still with fear. Hibari Kyoya woke up. Hibari Kyoya has a broken nose and a black eye. Hibari Kyoya lost in a fight. Hibari Kyoya will NOT be pleased.
True to their suspicious, Hibari let out a vicious snarl at their expressions. The majority of them 'eep'ed and scuttled away, suddenly busy with the most mundane of tasks such as watering the plants on the dresser placed in the farthest position away from his bed. One bravely approached him, holding out a thermometer with a quaking hand.
"Hibari-san...we need to take your temperatu..."
She let out a squeak of fear as she was immediately interrupted; the door to Hibari's hospital room slammed open.
"HIBARI! ARE YOU IN HERE?"
As soon as the door revealed the white haired boxer, Hibari considered jumping out the window. When will that loud herbivore ever learn to leave him alone?
He half stood up to do the very thing he was thinking of, but stopped at the sight of himself in the mirror. His nose was bandaged tightly, keeping it in place as the bones healed. One side of his face was clear of damage, his skin white and immaculate. But the other half was marred with a line of black and blue, painfully discordant with the unharmed half of his face. Hibari winced slightly as he tried to crack open his eye. The very act of flickering his left eyelid caused pain to shoot through his skull. He turned away. His own reflection was painful to look at.
And the worse thing was, he had done this to himself.
Behind him, Ryohei let out a spluttered gasp as he saw Hibari's face. The boxer fell silent at the sight of Hibari's injuries. It wasn't anything like what Rokudo Mukuro had done to him, but it was still shocking to see one so powerful as Hibari to be hurt this much with only one strike.
"Hibari...what happened?"
Doesn't he remember? Wasn't he there?
"Hibari, you extremely flew back suddenly! And now your nose is broken and your face is bruised! DID YOU EXTREMELY HIT YOURSELF WITH YOUR TONFA? OR DID AN INVISIBLE ENEMY ATTACK YOU? ARE YOU OKAY?"
The idea was so unexpected that even Hibari turned away and scoffed at the boxer's musings. It was such a herbivorous thought, for him to hurt himself. And yet it was dangerously close to the truth. The only thing he still didn't understand was how Sasagawa Ryohei didn't seem to have seen anything, much less a suit clad older Hibari running towards the two of them with a strong malicious intent. Another plausible explanation was that Rokudo Mukuro was in the area and had made the 'couple' intending to mess with Hibari's mind. But he himself didn't sense the illusionist's presence, and he had trained himself to do so every since his humiliating defeat at the hands of Mukuro, so there was no way it was an illusion.
Hibari wanted answers. And so the most logical thing do to was to find the other person he'd seen, Koizumi Kumiko.
Winter break was over. On January 2nd, students wearing the Namimori winter uniform could be seen trudging drearily up to the school. Many of them glanced occasionally at their watches, not wanting to be bitten to death by the strict disciplinarian.
Hibari stood by the school gates, watching as everyone dipped their heads meekly as soon as they reached him, not daring to look up until they were halfway across the courtyard. Nobody commented on the bandages wrapping around his nose, nor his bruised face. The bruises had become an ugly mix of black and muddy yellow, showing that they were surely but slowly healing.
"HIIIEEEE? Hibari-san! What happened to your face?"
"SAWADA! I TOLD YOU! HIBARI GOT EXTREMELY BEATEN BY AN INVISIBLE GHOST!" Ryohei screamed at the trio while jogging past, on his way to the boxing club. Hibari sent him a dark look.
"Invisible...g-g-g-ghost?"
Tsuna sounded like he was going to either wet his pants with fear or go throw up in the bushes. Gokudera, seeing Jyuudaime's green face, shot a glare at Hibari and patted Tsuna on the back. Yamamoto was silent for once, staring at the wound.
"Oi, Hibari. You should put some ice on that. I always do that when I get bruised from playing baseball. It helps a lot! That wound looks nasty..."
"Tch. Crowding herbivores? Go to class or I'll bite you to death."
"BASTARD HIBARI! DON'T SPEAK SO RUDELY TO JYUUDAIME!"
"HIIIEEEE! Gokudera-kun! Don't throw dynamites at Hibari-san! He's already injured!"
I don't need your pity, Sawada Tsunayoshi.
"Maah maah Gokudera! Let's not fight! Hibari's hurt already, so be nicer to hi..."
I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY.
"I'll bite you to death." Hibari snarled. He couldn't take it anymore. The stress, the frustration at his pain and his confusion at the situation, it overwhelmed him. His eyes flashed dangerously, and his tonfas were suddenly unsheathed and swinging forward. First the insolent Gokudera Hayato. Gokudera gave a yelp of surprise as the metallic stick connected with his skull. Hibari felt his lips twitch with sadistic pleasure as the impact made a crunch.
Weak herbivores. All of you are weak herbivores.
Next with the stupidly compassionate baseball idiot. Yamamoto Takeshi barely managed to bring his arm up to defend his face as the tonfa went hurtling in his direction. Nevertheless, the tonfa connected, sending him skidding painfully away on the slippery snow covered ground. Then Sawada Tsunayoshi, the so called leader of this crowd of herbivores. Tsuna was sent sprawling to the ground, the blow hitting him squarely in the stomach. Hibari allowed himself a satisfied smile. Discipline will be enforced, and crowding and lateness will not be allowed. Pity will not be allowed.
And while he was busy biting the Vongola Decimo and his two best friends to death, Hibari failed to notice the brown-haired girl dart past him quickly.
"Tch. Damn that Hibari. He's so violent. Jyuudaime, we should just blow him up. Jyuudaime you give me the command and I'll..."
"G-gokudera-kun! Let's not! Hibari-san's just in a bad mood because of his wound!"
The trio were walking to the rooftop for their lunchtime meeting. Just as they rounded the corner of the corridor, Tsuna collided with someone. Emitting a strangled yelp of surprise, Tsuna hit the floor painfully.
"Owowowowow!"
"JYUUDAIME! Tch. DAMN WOMAN, APOLOGIZE!"
The brown-haired girl stared back at him pleadingly, her own hands scraped from the resulting fall. Tsuna got up with some difficulty and then patted Gokudera on the arm to placate the zealous bomber.
"Gokudera, it's just Koizumi-san! It's just an accident, so it's okay. I was surprised, that's all."
Koizumi Kumiko bowed in apology, while Gokudera sent her a distrustful look.
"Tch, if Jyuudaime says so. I'll spare her this time."
Kumiko sent Tsuna a grateful look, to which the brunette hesitantly returned with a small smile of his own.
"Crowding again, herbivores?"
Hibari narrowed his eyes upon seeing the four at the bottom of the stairs. His hands itched to pull out his tonfas and ensure discipline once more. His eyes met those of the brown-haired girl, and he jerked back slightly in surprise.
Koizumi Kumiko, huh?
He pushed Sawada Tsunayoshi aside violently and grabbed the girl by her collar. Kumiko gave a squeak of surprise as she was shoved against the wall roughly.
"Herbivore..."
Anyone passing could hear the clear threat in Hibari's voice. He was furious with this girl, and she didn't even know what she did wrong. He pressed her into the wall further, making her yelp in pain.
"Explain yourself, herbivore. What were you doing yesterday?"
Upon seeing Kumiko's confused look, he resisted the urge to growl at her. Instead, he raised his tonfa in a threatening and slammed it into the wall beside her head.
"Speak, or I'll bite you to death."
Kumiko's look turned pleading, desperate. She scrabbled for her schoolbag, which had been tossed aside in the sudden attack. Hibari stared at her distressed motions with disgust. Such a pathetic weakling. She didn't even count as a herbivore in this sense, because she didn't even bother to fight back. No wonder his future self decided to get rid of her. No wonder she willing let herself be killed. No wonder she believed his deviously 'loving' look right before he shot her in the head. There's no way the Ten Years Later Hibari Kyoya would fall in love with such a pathetic creature. She is a weak, stupid organism. She won't survive for one second in this dangerous world. And Hibari resents her for that, for some weird, obscure reason.
She whimpered as his grip tightened on her, but he was soon pulled off of her. He whipped around to glare at the person holding him back; Yamamoto Takeshi. Yamamoto grimaced at his fierce glare, and backed away.
"What do you want, herbivore?"
"Hibari, even if you hurt her, she's not going to be able to give you the information you want!"
"Hn?"
He let go of the girl and she fell to the ground, rubbing her shoulders and staring at him fearfully. Hibari looked at Yamamoto for an explanation. Put under the attention of the Head Prefect so suddenly, Yamamoto began to squirm uncomfortably. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and glanced at Kumiko. Kumiko didn't do anything but lower her gaze to the ground shyly.
"Well, um... how should I say this..."
"Just spit it out."
"She's mute."
A/N: I'm hoping to move the plot along quickly, so bear with the rather boring bits now. Please review! Thanks to the two reviewers for the previous chapter: kirichancute and pyon-chan. I've already written the next chapter, but don't expect me to update so soon, partly because I'm waiting for more reviews and also partly because because I'm kind of busy with schoolwork too (I know it's winter break and all, but my teachers are evil when it comes to homework!).
