The second chapter. Same deal with the "he's" and the "she's" here; I'll tell you at the end.
This is from Athrun's POV.
Disclaimer: Bandai/Sunrise owns Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny. I imagined the cancer that killed Cagalli.
Athrun didn't care. It didn't matter if she'd put her country before him, what hurt most was that he hadn't done anything about it.
He stared at the elegant gravestone, a unique shape of the emblem of house Attha, down to the very last tuft of the lion's mane.
After the second war, Lacus had worked tirelessly to bring about peace. Enough so that Kira had to use some rather… unconventional means to get her to rest. Even with those… charms, and Lacus' incredible energy as a Co-ordinator, Lacus had collapsed at more than one convention due to sheer exhaustion.
She was different. Unlike Lacus, she was a Natural, and yet, her pride would never let her collapse in front of anyone, save him. But her burden was just as, if not greater than Lacus'. PLANT was, for the most part, unified in its opinion of peace. The selection system for the ZAFT high council helped weed out most potential extremists. ORB was a factionalised country, and its ruling elite was often divided about many issues. Lacus just had to present a motion, justify it, and then it would usually pass. On the other hand, she had to fight tooth and nail every step of the way against various ruling houses who, like the Seirans, held quite extremist views.
All he could do was protect her. He couldn't help her with any of her duties as a Representative. He could only watch as she grew more and more haggard, as her fiery, impetuous passion that she once possessed was whittled down to nothing more than a glowing ember.
One would argue that nobody can protect anyone from cancer, but Athrun knew better. As a bodyguard and a lover, he should have forced her to rest more, make sure she was taking care of herself.
So, nobody understood why he had taken it so hard when she came down with cancer. It was his responsibility, as far as he was concerned.
Six months. Six months was what the doctors had told them. Of course, six months meant three months to put things in order, and then three months to say goodbye. Of course, Athrun didn't blame her. ORB was, after all, more important.
What the doctors hadn't told them was that the last three months would be spent in a hospital bed, and most it hooked up to an IV drip. Watching her like that hurt him even more.
As much as it hurt to see her that way, it was his own way of punishing himself for neglecting his duties. Spending time with her as she slowly fought a losing battle against her body helped ease his guilt, if only a little.
At her funeral, he didn't even make a speech, although he had to admit he probably would have turned it down if offered the chance. As far as ORB was concerned, he was just a bodyguard and close confidant, nothing more. Of course, it became fairly obvious when everyone noticed how he didn't stop crying all the way throughout the ceremony. Hell, even Kira didn't cry half as much.
The press had whipped up a storm when she had been photographed with the ring he had given her. They'd been infuriated when they couldn't find out who had given it to her, so they ripped him apart after the funeral when he had made it so obvious. Enough so that he moved to PLANT shortly afterward.
She had given the ring back to him shortly before she died.
"Take it back Athrun. Find someone else, and… move on. I've done many stupid things… and… and I don't deserve you."
He laughed bitterly. How could he move on, when he owed her so much? He didn't care about the press. He didn't care about how he was second place to a whole country. All he cared about was how he'd let the one woman he'd cared about slip away just like that.
To him, the truth was that he didn't deserve her. He couldn't even keep a simple promise to protect her.
Coming back to ORB to visit her grave was hard on him, but he felt it was something he needed to do. His visits here were a bit of a self-induced guilt trip but at least it was a form of release.
Sometimes, when he came, he would see the shrunken flowers that signified Kira and Lacus' visits. They visited the grave together at first, but with Lacus' tenure as a chairwoman setting a new record (generally the post was held for one two-year term, but Lacus was heading into her third), they couldn't come as often as he could.
He kept the ring as a personal reminder of her. To him, it was as if he was carrying around a little part of her all the time. A part he didn't have to share with anyone.
Even though it had only been around a year after the war before cruel fate had snatched her away, the last four years were hell. He moved around, never really holding down a job for more than a few months before resigning. After all, the job was more something to pass time than anything else. With his father's fortune at his disposal, he had plenty of money.
Effectively, he'd died the day she died.
"Cagalli…"
He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't see a former comrade of his approach him.
"Athrun? Is that you?"
The "he" refers to Athrun, and the "she" refers to Cagalli.
R&R please.
