Now, to begin diverging from the game plot sliiiiightly. Mostly for the purpose of lols. I write in a fairly stupid fashion, one GIANT document I then have to approach with scissors and chop apart. The concept of chapter breaks is now lost on my brain. DEEEEERP.
Sarcasm Still Valid
5/31/11 - Edit 7/20/11
Chell was looking out on a scene of deja vu from several (hundred?) years earlier. Trapped in a glass room with an automated portal generator inside the cell, and one outside the cell. It was testing ALL OVER AGAIN.
Nerves of steel? Hi! I'd like you to meet bladder of questionable nervousness...
The voice that spoke was stretched and warped with age, the recording sounding like a helium induced joke. "Hello! And again welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. We-are-currently- experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control." The announcer was the exact same voice from her extended rest room... NOT GLaDOS's voice.
Thank god.
If one could really be thankful during a cataclysmic event.
The portal opened automatically, issuing Chell into the chamber. The sound of birds, crickets, water dripping, and the occasional hoot of an animal echoed in this strange familiar place. Plants grew from every crack in the tile, and hung from the ceiling in choking vines. There was the same heavy humidity there was in the cold-storage area.
Wow, the apocalypse was more impressive than Chell had thought it would be. It was as if God himself had decreed 'Let there be no technology!' and then changed his mind and said, 'Except for right here... and here... but that one has to go... this one is okay,' every five feet or so.
The area ahead barely had any power, but it did have a working Emancipation Grill. Faintly, Chell could remember them... plasma barriers which would reset portals and destroy any tools or items that weren't allowed through. Plus teeth, fillings, and other random body parts if you were unlucky, GLaDOS had warned once.
Chell had a ritual back when she was first thrown into test, and that was a check list to make sure she wasn't coming up negative every time she passed through the plasma field. It was now Emancipation grill check list time. Chell did a precursory check of all her teeth in her mouth. All there. Check. Then she stepped through the grill, feeling the familiar tingle of electricity. Upon passing through, she did another check of all her teeth. Yep still there. Thank god. The odd warnings she had gotten in the past about the grill made her worry one day it would emancipate her pants or something right off of her.
Wait... underwear... check, still there.
Like she thought before... someday the emancipation grill would have revenge.
Climbing into the elevator, Chell had a sudden warning from the pre-recorded announcer that the Material Emancipation Grill could even emancipate the ear tubes within her head (add that to the check list).
The human adopted a look of disbelief mashed together with horror and froze like a statue looking up at the wall-mounted speaker. If the goal of this ENTIRE facility was to make her paranoid, germophobic, and technophobic... it WAS WORKING. If this was the Emancipation Grill's pre-recorded revenge on her... it was EVIL!
It took a few hours of slow stumbling and awkward movements through the ruined old testing chambers before Chell knew where she was. Her muscles were slowly thawing out and regaining strength from her extended deep-freeze, but the going was still slow and painful.
Upon entering the next chamber, Chell's heart lunged. She remembered this room. This is where the ASHPD sat on it's pedestal, shooting portals through small holes that would allow her to jump into the room and get the device! Running down the stairs, the sound of crackling electricity and the drip of water were eclipsed only by the sound of her pounding heart.
"Hey-hey! You made it!"
And by the completely unexpected sound of Wheatley scaring the absolute crap out of her.
The human flung herself back from the source of his voice, her left had clutching at the white tanktop over her heart in panic. Sliding along a rail in the partially fallen wall, the personality core stopped next to her.
"You sure a good jumper. Yeah, that was a good five feet! In pretty good shape for a human that just slept for a..anng... a couple *cough cough* hundred *cough* years." Wheatley faked a cough, sounding mortified.
Maybe if he had LUNGS it would have been convincing...as it was it was kind of pathetic.
Chell calmed her racing heart, snorting under her breath at Wheatley's unexpected entrance frightening her. If she was going to have a panic attack at the sight of that harmless looking little metal ball, she was probably going to flip out if someone showed her a picture of a kitten too. 'JESUS CHRIST LOOK AT THE FUR ON THAT KITTEN! We are all going to DIE! – Sarcasm... still valid'. Chell found herself smiling a bit at her own panic. Toughening up her resolve, Chell entered through fallen metal beams into the room where the ASHPD podium was.
"There should be a portal device in that podium. Over there." He rolled upwards with a flick, gesturing into the room from his rail. "Then we can go around shooting holes in things- sort of. But responsible holes, you know." He amended.
The portal device sat just where it had centuries ago, looking much the same as it had even then. It wasn't 'her' device, the number on the side of this one was barcode/06, instead of the /04 device she had used back then. The white metal of the ASHPD wasn't tarnished in the slightest, though a thin layer of dust and grime had dulled the coating to a gray. Striding forward eagerly, Chell lifted it and then slipped her hand into the trigger chamber. It was as familiar as a glove to her, a one size fits all model apparently.
"Oh brilliant! We've got it!" His eye focused on the ASHPD Chell held. "Aw, that just goes to show you – people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end, aren't they? At the end of the day, yeah?"
… Chell wanted to punch him in the head … just a little. But since he was ALL head, it would probably be a little rude. Plus, she'd probably hurt her own hand punching him. Instead she settled for looking over the portal device for any damage.
"Um... not exactly sure how it works actually. It requires hands, see... and I lack those attachments. So... um... ," Wheatley stared down at the human, unsure what to do.
Lifting her hand, she pointed the ASHPD at the wall and created the spinning blue portal by pulling the top most trigger located in the shell. The device, even after several hundred years, still worked flawlessly. If there was one thing Aperture did well, apparently it was build quantum defying guns! Laws of physics? We don't want those here! Get out, laws of physics, Aperture makes it's own rules!
"Oh! How about that. It works! And you know how to use it even. Must be user friendly!" Wheatley reasoned.
Spinning to the other side of the wall, she fired the orange portal as well. However, there was only an empty 'click' and nothing happened. The orange portal was broken, or disabled. The ASHPD was only half functioning.
Great.
"Well... I feel as I must reiterate. We're going to die." Wheatley gave a plaintive whimper.
Heaving a sigh, Chell shook her head. No. Surrender was not an option! She would climb the very walls themselves out of here if she had to. And one thing her memory reminded her: This place was too large to only have ONE way out. It was time to do some hardcore thinking. The woman donned a face of extreme concentration.
"Planning a way out, are you? OH! Here, I'll help you!" Wheatley said eagerly. Rolling down the track, he came to a halt right above her head, and then lowered himself down until his metal shell just rested slightly on her crown. "Ok. Now all you have to do is access my hard drive, and we'll think with the power of- oh wait... humans don't have wireless... that's right." The core suddenly remembered.
Chell felt she probably looked like some kind of idiot totem pole right now with the sphere sitting on her head. But she was too busy trying to break this room apart into something she could do to escape.
The door's controls had been severed during the rooms destruction. She had no way of opening that door, unless she was about to take several lessons in engineering repair. The only path to go on foot was backwards. Chell looked up to Wheatley, still balanced on her skull from the rail
'What now? You know this place better than me, right?' Chell's blue eyes peered up at him, almost pleading, wondering what he could suggest.
"Wot if you... just run into that wall really hard? Looks it to be ready to fall at the slightest knock?" The core offered.
The wall in question had lost most of the tiles, crumbling, ruined, but still made of metal and probably more than strong enough to hold up as Chell pancaked her self against it. The woman shook her head. Nope, nothing doing.
"Oh! You answered!... sorta. I guess the brain damage wasn't permanent. Can you say 'Apple' for me again? … wifout jumpin', I mean." Wheatley said rather excitedly.
Chell's voice was still mute, but she was clear headed enough to at least not hop around in panic again like the first time. Instead, she rolled her eyes and shook her head 'no'.
"I'll accept that as an improvement anyway." The core sounded slightly smug, as if by being a near Chell he had somehow managed a 'cure' for brain damage. "Still, you aren't much fer a conversationalist like this, are you?" His oddly placed British accent was mildly endearing, as was his inept helplessness even as he tried to aid her. Sure, half the time he made the problem WORSE... but it was better than lugging around the Companion Cube who she HAD mercilessly incinerated so long ago.
At least the cube was in a better place now. Cube Heaven. With all the cake it wanted.
However, they were still trapped in this dying and defunct lab, reminiscing on the past wasn't helping. Wheatley looked worried, his shuttered eyelids drawing together. "Ok, let me lay it on you here. They told me to never, ever ever to disengage myself from my management rail. Or I would DIE. But... we're out of options here." He looked around the room himself. Chell blinked, her eyebrows rising upwards in surprise and concern. If an AI who could just be wrenched back together if broken was this concerned...
Chell didn't like the sound of his idea much. What if he DID die? Then she'd –she'd...
"Aww, hey hey don't look so upset there! I'm the one at risk." Wheatley made a sound of sympathy at Chell's sorrowed expression, but he hesitated. "Wait... are you worried for my sake?" He suddenly realized.
The human flushed in embarrassment. At least Companion Cube never pointed out the obvious like that!
"Wow, I've never had someone worry about me before!" Wheatley said brightly, sounding flattered. "Don't worry, I'm sure this plan will work. So, get ready to catch me, aw'right? Since you are the only one with arms, just – just do as best as you can manage with the brain damage you've got!"
The human's eyebrow twitched. Just a little.
Pausing to gather some nerve Wheatley nodded. "On five... or wait... on one. Lets count down. Five... Four... Three..." He voice rose in a panic and suddenly he paused. "Three and a haaaaalf. Three and a quarter... 3.14159265358-," As he rambled, he suddenly got locked into the value for pi.
'Wheatley!' Chell stomped her foot, shooting him an exasperated glare.
"One!" Wheatley suddenly ended his countdown, disengaging with a 'click'. "Catchmecatchme-catchme!"
Chell was looking up in a 'huh?' expression when the personality sphere smashed into her face.
… TECHNICALLY... she did catch him... but her face wasn't exactly a good surface to catch with so the sphere rolled off to the floor.
"AAHG!" Wheatley gave a loud yelp and Chell gasped in pain and a gravely, choked cry escaped her lips. The human stumbled and fell on her rear, both hands clutching her face as the ASHPD tumbled to the floor and Wheatley rolling along on the ground dazed.
"Ow... Ow." From the floor, eye first, Wheatley's voice sounded a bit hollow. Then he paused. "I... am not dead. I'm not dead!" Breaking into nervous laughter. "How you doin'?"
'FAAAAACE!' Chell wanted to wail. Taking a 15 pound ball of metal to the face? She was lucky she didn't break a nose! She was slumped on the floor, both hands pressed into her face as she writhed a bit dramatically around.
"You didn't get more brain damage from that, did you?" Wheatley asked.
Well... that was always a possibility.
Wheatley seemed to be deep in thought, as if he recalled something deep in his little metal brain as Chell trembled on the floor, both hands rubbing at her forehead. "Hey... when two-um... humans... put their faces together... like that. – isn't it a... a... what's the word?" He seemed flustered, and a bit irritated he was forgetting.
Pushing herself to a sitting position, Chell pulled one hand from her face, a giant red mark on her forehead. Opening one eye, she peered down at him. 'A headbutt?'
"Oh! I've got it. It's called a 'kiss' isn't it? Was- that thing we did, was that a kiss?" Wheatley asked, sounding completely obliviously.
Back to the floor, went Chell! Mostly out of an absolutely face-rolling horror and confusion that keeled her over.
"Oi, you aw'right down there?" Rolling over, small gyros spinning in Wheatley's metal frame, the core actually could move across the ground on his own. "Hmm, must be the brain damage."
There was no speaking or arguing with the little core. Chell felt more upset at herself that she couldn't speak than at Wheatley's idiotic suggestion. Or highly embarrassing suggestion more like it. Rubbing the last of the pain away leaving only a red splotch on her face, Chell looked over at the core wondering what exactly they were going to do now. She was fairly certain he wouldn't have died if pulled off the rail - but what did she know about such things. He could explode into confetti if he disconnected for all the logic this place had!
"Hmm, I think that plug is still active over here." Wheatley was staring at the wall, the blue aperture shrinking as his eye danced about. "Let me just- maybe I can... hold on." Rolling unsteadily, Wheatley's center most ring began to spin, stopping and quickly starting again rhythmically. Sitting next to him, Chell had no clue what the tiny little robot was attempting to do.
And the the wall opened to reveal a small computer and socket.
… That... was unexpected.
"It IS still active! Aw, spot of luck here! Quick-plug me in!" Wheatley looked up at Chell.
The human picked him up by the handles, not really sure on proper etiquette for carrying around an AI. Hopefully this wasn't the equivalent of carrying someone by their ears! This new plug and computer system was foreign to Chell though. And... she really didn't know how to use one either. So she kind of rammed Wheatley against it.
"Ow! Wait, no, not like that!" The core winced. "Augh, that's the wrong way. Turn me around. No wait, turn the plug around. Oh, the latch is down. Aha, should've known. Ok, so flip the latch, open it up,... and try again with less pain, please." He added abruptly.
Chell had to put Wheatley down to do all that. Kneeling beside the strange plug, she flipped some levers, turned the plug, dropped the latch and smacked it for good measure. The sensor lights on the panel suddenly light up. Ah yes. The good ole' standby. If poking it doesn't work... hit it.
"OH! There you go, hey that worked well, worked very well. Manual override on the console. I'll have to remember that." Wheatley rolled on the floor a bit as he sort of nodded.
Chell moved the personality core towards the plug, which came to life, lunged forward and latched onto Wheatley all on it's own.
'Wow, okay... now what?' Chell cocked her head at the bot.
"Okay, I'll hack the system and open us a way out. But first. Um... can -can you turn around?." Sounding bashful, Wheatley looked away from the woman. Chell raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, I'm not joking, can you just turn around for a second? Come on, two seconds of privacy, if you can?" Spinning his whole optic sensor, to indicate Chell needed to rotate away from him, he sounded even more embarrassed.
So Chell did... mostly so she could laugh without him seeing. That was... adorable. Yes, adorable in 'a small child who made you macaroni art and glued most of it to his shirt' kind of way, but still adorable.
The sound of several beeps came from the panel. Looking over her shoulder, Wheatley seemed to be beaming. Or as close to that sort of that expression a little round robot with a single eye could get. An access wall panel swung out to reveal a hallway of sorts. "Done! These panels are always hiding maintenance areas. Can't believe how lucky we are this one was still working." He probably would have been grinning if he had a mouth. The plug ejected the core, dumping him onto the floor. "Lets get outta here."
Chell was definitely all for this. With only half of a functioning portal gun, there was no point in wielding it just yet. Tucking the ASHPD in the knotted sleeves of her jumpsuit, Chell scooped up Wheatley with both arms and turned down the new passage. The core's eye zoomed about the new area, excited with the prospect of escaping.
This backroom was full of pipes, catwalks, and fuse boxes, obviously used for bringing things to the testing rooms automatically. None of it seemed to be working though. Tubes were jammed, everything was silent, and the only sounds were Chell's feet on the catwalk. Even in this back area, the destruction of many years past was evident. Rust coated much of the surfaces and crumbling walls broke sections of the cat walk in places.
Wheatley phrased it, "This place sure went down hill in a hurry."
Never mind the 'hurry' was over several hundred years.
Chell frowned, wondering if it really had been several HUNDRED years? So what happened to everyone outside of this place? … and... who was this everyone Chell was trying to remember? Family? She pretty sure she had family. Her memory had been fragmented and fuzzy during her the first sets of tests all those years ago. Something was missing in her head, now even worse after the long sleep.
Maybe it was brain damage.
… Best not to tell Wheatley that though. Who knows what sort of odd tangent he'd break into.
Then again, Chell couldn't tell Wheatley much of anything even if she wanted to. Her voice was frozen and words just wouldn't form, her throat ached and felt dry. Before the deep freeze sleep, Chell was at least sure she had a voice. Now she just couldn't even force words out, even as a whisper. But maybe she had been mute before?
Why were the memories so fuzzy?
"Hey, don't worry too much about it." Wheatley said, looking over Chell's distressed face and offered a soft encouragement. "I'm pretty sure the longest recorded cryo-sleep, until you manged to completely dash that record, was just ten years... and the human woke up as a mummified Popsicle with the lucid thoughts of a scrambled egg."
As disturbing at the thought was, the simple mention of food suddenly had her stomach roaring.
"... and the fact you have just done a sort of 'yummy' reaction at that description... I'll be honest, it's a bit weirding me out, you know." The blue core rolled his gaze to stare away from Chell in embarrassment.
Which, in turn, embarrassed Chell just a little.
Wheatley's blue eye narrowed... "Pudding." He suddenly blurted.
Chell's stomach rumbled again, louder this time.
The human jerked in alarm at the reaction, and then glared at Wheatley.
"Hahah! That was hilarious!" He exclaimed, his eyes drawing happily closed for a brief moment. "Oh, sorry, sorry. I'm done. Just joking around." He offered lamely.
The human huffed, patting her poor starving belly again.
"... Cake..." The personality core said.
"BBBARRRRRGGLGLLGLAARRRLRRRRLL." Chell's stomach recited.
'OMFG, I WILL KILL YOU, METAL BALL.' Chell grit her teeth, glaring at Wheatley in her arms, who was cackling as if Chell had just told some kind of epic joke. However much of her anger blew away as Wheatley spewed a giggled apology, sounding like he was still gently teasing her.
The social interaction, even if it was a little robot doing it, felt so very important, Chell decided to just turn the blind eye on her embarrassment in exchange for company. She most certainly wasn't smiling … at all... it was a trick of the light if it looked like she was... really!
But back to the issue at hand... where were they heading anyway?
The hall was overgrown with plans here too, birds and crickets chirps echoing in the halls. The water on the floor was fetid and discolored, but the water leaking from the vine leaves looked colorless and odorless. At this point, Chell gave one of the plants a curious tug, wondering if the vines could support her weight.
"W-wot are you doi-don't touch that! It might be poisonous! Or venomous, or cranky! Just best to leave it alone." Wheatley looked at the plant in mistrust. "I never trusted those green things much."
Raising a single eyebrow, Chell gave a snort, releasing the plant anyway. True, it could be a vine form of poison ivy and she'd never know... but the odds that it would kill her... probably low. And a whole hell of a lot lower than a giant psychotic computer declaring vengeance on Chell from beyond the grave even!
"Well." Wheatley sighed. "When we get out of here, promise me you won't go around eating every mushroom you see and licking uncooked meat or something. That's just not safe."
Chell almost laughed, instead coughing as her dry throat couldn't handle the sound of her chuckle. The AI sphere continued to voice his concerns about Chell not being prepared for 'the future'.
"After'all. This is the future. And everything wants to kill you in the future, right? That's how it works, isn't it? First there were dinosaurs. Killed by a rock. Then there were giant mammoths. Killed by cold and maybe by humans. And then there were humans... killed by machines. Err, some of the humans, that is! … and only the terrible machines did that. And I'm sure those machines got their comeuppance anyway, probably by the plants." Wheatley remarked.
Ok, where ever Wheatley was getting his information from? His logic made it sound like a overly-complicated game of paper-scissors-rock, only change in a few gestures for 'dinosaurs', 'murderous machines' and 'mammoths' for good measure. It sounded suspiciously like the internet was supplying him with facts... and did the internet even still exist hundreds of years in the future?
My god, the amount of cats with macros... it had to be blinding if the internet still existed.
… Rule 1 upon escaping: Don't let Wheatley see the internet. It probably wouldn't help anything.
Staring at her with his bright blue optic, Wheatley remained silent as Chell fought to muscle her way through a half collapsed hall, but his expression (or so Chell found his movements while he was talking was like an expression), showed hope as he watched her. It was actually quite embarrassing to have someone watch you as you walked like it was the greatest thing ever. They were just legs! And Chell had two (thank god, otherwise this would be a horrible trip) perfectly good legs with perfectly good boots, but was quickly becoming unnerved under Wheatley's stare. Chell suddenly understood the sphere's shyness at asking her to turn around so he could open the panel. Even trying to ignore his stare, the tips of her ears burned under an embarrassed blush as they traversed the hall.
The hall opened into another corridor with a view. A familiar view. The glass hall was over the near-bottomless massive room with a square modular building in the center. This was the hall that lead to the Aperture AI hub - GLaDOS's throne room.. Time has been cruel to the hub, twisting and warping the passage and shattering out most of the glass. Out of dread, both the AI and the woman were silent, Chell was carefully treading along towards the door so as not to make the ground creak.
And upon approaching the air lock to the hub, the door automatically groaned open.
The woman stepped back in surprise at the action and her heart accelerated into a frantic hammering. Wheatley suddenly blurted out, "Have you ever seen horror movies where someone goes 'I heard a sound behind us', and when everyone turns there's nothing there... and when they turn back it's in FRONT Of them? Well that's how THIS is! T-that's her room and s-she's right-here-and-we're-going-to-die and... oh wait... oh... sh-she's off. She's off, oh thank god, we're not going to die... yet." He rambled, spitting out the words in a jumbled rush which slowed back to a normal speed once he realized that no horrible death lay ahead.
The human bonked him above the optic with a palm. 'Dork'. She gave a weak smile, and palmed the front of his optic closed for a moment. 'Did you have to add 'yet' to your sentence? Way to be creepy.'
Wheatley gave an embarrassed laugh, stammering yet another apology for his completely lack of moxie. "S-sorry. Ha, not quite sure who was more alarmed there though. You looked white as a sheet, mate." The core tried to tease, but there was a constant shiver in his hull that made him look more nervous than anything.
The nervous feeling Wheatley felt was shared by Chell as they entered the hub. The room was FAR different than her last time here. There was no ceiling at all, the gaping hole from where Chell had blasted the roof off still open. Night was falling, and the sky above was dark. Everything was overgrown with plants... and most horrible of all...the curved white metal that was once GLaDOS's body was still visible. Cords still attached the curved head piece to the hanging AI system, but no power ran to it. Everything was toppled, and moss was slowly covering the surfaces. Water had gathered here as well, rusty and a little muddy, pooling in the head-piece of the ruined GLaDOS.
"There she is..." Wheatley said, almost reverently. "The old boss of this place. Boss of the castle... full of dragons. The... the dragon-boss, then." He shook his head. Chell cutting a wide circle around GLaDOS, traveling around the outermost side of the room to the back.
"Apparently the human that did this escaped and no one has seen him since. Managed to kill the dragon and then vanished!" Wheatley whispered as Chell crept past the giant inert robot.
'Him'? … S-seriously? … wow. The age-of-information was over. Long live the age-of-derp. Chell sighed, more embarrassed than disappointed at the whole thing.
A garbled rush of words came from the sphere as he got his look at the crazed computer system. "I know you are a little scared of her. It's aw'right, though, we can pass by. She is asleep. Or dead. … or maybe lying it wait for us to walk by." Wheatley stuttered, sounding nervous. "D-don't touch anything."
Chell had absolutely no intention of coming any closer than 20 feet to GLaDOS. And don't even think she'd poke her with a 20ft pole either. She'd seen her fair share of horror movies, she was sure in at least one of them poking your enemy could bring even the dead back to life. Nope. Staying faaaar away.
Approaching the back of the room, the wall that had once contained the incinerator had crumbled and a catwalk and stairs were exposed behind it. Each step and recoil from the longfall boots bounced Wheatley slightly under Chell's arm as she descended the staircase.
"Ok... down these stairs." The sound of metal pieces rotating as Wheatley spun around to take a look came from her back. Reaching an area where the stairway suddenly was gone, Chell startled a little when Wheatley called out, "A-aw'right, we'll jump down on the count of three."
Wheatley blurted out, his verbal dam open as he gushed forth with nervous chatter. "That should be e-enough time there. Count of three. Yeah. Ok, so here we go. One...-,"
The woman pushed off the metal scaffolding and jumped into dead air without giving any warning.
"-twoooAOAHHH! OOOF!" The impact wasn't noticeable at all, the boots absorbing Chell's fall and bending under her feet, but the little AI still gave a grunt from the landing. "Are w-we still alive? Alive, yes? Survived a lethal fall, then? E-excellent." And then he gave a massive sigh of relief. "Thought perhaps your counting could use some work." Wheatley said, giving her a look.
Chell gave an amused laugh.
Wheatley's eye brightened. "Oh! Laughing! Y-you were—wait, were you laughing at me?" He asked a little wary, but before Chell could even pantomime otherwise, he decided – apparently- that it was alright if she had a laugh at him. After all, he had pretty much laughed himself to rebooting at her already. Ah, human body functions... when AREN'T they funny to robots?
Tucking Wheatley under her arm against her hip again, Chell figured it was best to keep an eye on him rather than wield just half the ASHPD. Unless the other half was just ahead, the gun was useless with only one unconnected portal.
"I can't believe I'm actually escaping. We're going to make it out!" Wheatley chattered excitedly. "I have no clue at all what the outside is like! Never been there. Always wanted to though." His eye looked up at Chell, almost glowing with anticipation.
Always paranoid to save any celebrating for when the end was truly in sight, Chell gave Wheatley a wistful smile. The problem with their current escape plan was that ahead lie a dead-end. The catwalk terminated into a small room, which was a small circular chamber. It was jam packed full of switches... oh wait, they were fuse breakers, weren't they? Wheatley's gaze dropped from Chell to the room. "Oh! That's it! That's what we want. It's the main breaker room."
This room? … a way out? Well... ok. Chell moved forward into the small round room. And then a metal grate slammed shut behind her, trapping her in.
Doors slamming shut behind you had so far NEVER been a good thing.
"Wait, it's okay! Just look for a switch that says Emergency Escape Pod. Aw'right? Don't touch anything else. The escape pod takes us right from her chamber to the surface. Handy that, eh?" Wheatley's eye rolled from switch to switch, trying to spot it.
Pale blue light from his optic wasn't nearly enough to illuminate anything, and Chell hefted Wheatley into the crook of her arm to lean over the sphere and read the labels on each breaker. The light was dim. Age had wiped many of the labels on the fuses off, leaving no trace of what the blown fuses controlled. And why were so many of these fuses blown? Something big must have happened to pop so many. Chell had barely managed to scan the very first row of circuits before looking up the next, … and then her gaze rose skywards.
It was fuses all the way up!
And they only wanted to flip ONE? Ah geez. Chell sighed, 'Needle in a haystack. A haystack made of fuses... and the needle is ALSO a fuse.'
"You know what, I'll turn on the light. Plug me in to that thingy there, and I'll take care of it." At his words, the control panel near Chell's feet sprang to life, the plug sticking out to attach Wheatley to. Maybe he could scan the systems and tell her which one was the Escape Pod fuse as well. Chell was more careful this time to plug him down.
POP. The lights came on all at once, brightening the tunnel to a more visible level. "It worked! I love it when it works." The metal ball stumbled over his words again, almost in disbelief that the lights had obeyed him. Without thinking, Chell reached down at pat him on the head again, looking at more of the fuses for labels.
Suddenly the floor was shaking, the platform was turning. "Oh lookit that," Wheatley said, his voice high with alarm, "Are we supposed to be turning?"
When had NOTHING ever resulted from touching anything in this place? Chell went rigid, one hand still on Wheatley as she stared around in alarm.
"B-but probably fine, you know, as long as this doesn't start... movin' up.." Wheatley murmured.
'No... no he had NOT just said that. Did he REALLY just say that?' Chell began to pray that you couldn't jinx yourself in the-
The platform began to rumble.
'OH MY GOD, NO.'
"Now... escape pod, escape pod..." While Wheatley looked around himself, a bleating alarm went off. Chell could see the obvious. Something BAD was going to happen. Reaching down, she seized Wheatley with both hands and tried to yank him free from the system before the 'bad' turned in to 'Super-bad'. "Oi ow... wot are you doin'?" The metal ball winced.
The platform rumbled again... rising upwards.
"It's... it's moving up." Blue optic suddenly narrowed in alarm. "It's moving up? D-do-do-don't worry! Don't worry! I've-got-it-I've-got-it-I've-got-it!" He rambled, the sound of characters being entered into a menu beeped as he fiddled with something.
Don't worry? Half the time touching things in this place lead to death! Or fire! Or fiery death!
"This should slow it down." The command seemed to be accepted and the platform stopped rising and rotated slightly. The two of them were silent for a moment.
Then the platform rumbled again, rotated, and shot upwards. "AH... makes it go faster." He metal ball mumbled. Neither could do anything but watch as the lip of the platform caught every fuse and flipped every circuit breaker back on. ALL OF THEM.
"Uh oh." Understatement of this strange new year... goes to Wheatley. Chell would teach him not to taunt fate later. The platform stopped moving...and the two escapees found themselves back in the hub. GLaDOS's disabled body lie just feet ahead of them.
'Wait... were all those fuses that just got flipped... were they all to-' Chell's heart tried to beat a frantic escape through her ribcage. Failing to do that, it decided to hide in her stomach somewhere behind her kidneys. Or at least, that's what it felt like.
"Powerup initiated." An automated system declared... and the metal shell of GLaDOS body began to move...
'… I am going to die.' Every muscle was locked and taut, but Chell could not move. She couldn't raise the ASHPD, but it wouldn't do her any good with only one portal. She couldn't escape! There was the sound of a deep thrumming... one by one breakers kicking on in a slowly cycling beat.
Like a heartbeat of a massive beast. Growing faster... and faster.
Chell was not above running for her life at this point.
Reaching down, the human forcefully removed Wheatley from the control panel and dashed. "Ahg! W-wot are we doing? Are we running?" Wheatley's eye shot back to watch the massive DOS body in horror. Chell had every intention of leaving back through the hallway at the entrance to the hub. Skidding to a halt in front of the door, Chell found it wasn't just closed... it was sealed. The entire system had locked down for re-initialization!
GLaDOS had retracted that giant white head-piece back... closer to the cords. The metal gouged against the rust and dirt on the ground, leaving clean scratches as it was pulled. The sounds of wires being winched in and the deep thrumming of generators as they kicked on pierced the air. The eye piece flickered gold, and then dimmed, repeating this several times, but never quite lighting up brightly enough.
Not active yet...
"H-hide! Go hide somewhere!" Wheatley stammered, his eye never leaving GLaDOS.
There wasn't enough time to run all the way across the room and dive back down the stairs to the breaker room again. Hide it was!
Chell slung herself over a fallen chunk of rubble, the core tucked in her arms as she slammed her back against the wall and squirmed against some iron bars in an attempt to make herself as difficult to see as possible. GLaDOS body was being pulled into the air, turning so she was resting in her normal position again. Her head still swung lifelessly... maybe she was still broken?
"Power up Complete."
Chell's heart stopped. Honestly. Just stopped. GLaDOS was rotating wildly, the sound of systems now powering up was reaching a crescendo.
Wheatley was trembling, his metal shell shaking as he closed his eye tightly.
… There were no words. Chell... couldn't move. Couldn't speak.
"Generic Lifeform system... sequential system boot up beginning. Are you ready?" The automated system queried.
From her hiding place, Chell could see as GLaDOS swung about, casting her gold eye around the room and looking at the destruction left from their last fight and the decay of the room. "Yes. Bring up status on all Relaxation Value contents. Search for...," However, the AI paused.
Her eye swung to look right to where Chell was hiding.
Chell's heart tried to quit. And the human's body essentially said 'You can't quit! You're fired!' and went into shock at that moment as well.
However, the AI's roving eye moved on, searching the rubble systematically. "ID core... your signal can be read in this room. Why are you in here?" GLaDOS didn't sound happy. In fact, she sounded murderous.
ID... core? … oh jesus, she could detect Wheatley! How many other cores could be in this room?
Chell curled her arms around Wheatley tighter and sort of hunched over him, as if the flesh of her body could conceal his signal to the AI. Wheatley was shivering, the metal plates vibrating with horror as GlaDOS now searched for him.
"I don't want to go out there. P-please, don't let her find me." Wheatley whispered, his blue eye looking up at Chell pleading.
There was a high pitched whine as suddenly rubble was being lifted nearby, swung through the air and then tossed into the incineration chamber. GLaDOS was systematically clearing the ruin from her room, still looking very near them. Just being silent wasn't going to work, the AI KNEW they were there! And given enough time, she would dig them out.
If Wheatley was discovered she would be too! … And Chell wasn't going to abandon a friend.
The human pulled herself from her hiding place, standing boldly in plain sight with the core in her arms still trembling.
The giant computer was staring.
And GLaDOS made a single sound... "Oh." And then the toned voice grew horrifically cool. "It's you."
Well... at least Chell had the knowledge she had blown this computer up once before she would be killed.
