And a new one because I really should have known better than to think I was going to get through work today without getting thoroughly distracted by this. I'm not even going to wonder how long I can keep it up because knowing myself it will become a challenge.

Next up: We all knew it was only a matter of time before Ana and Colby moved on from post-it notes. Sometime post-Daily Grind.


PART I

From: asprington8812fbigov
To: cgranger4334fbigov
Subject: Case files needed URGENTLY!

Is Sinclair reading over your shoulder? I hoped that a boring subject line would make him bored. I never bother snooping in boring emails.

I think that might be why spam emails always have such weird sounding subject lines because you can't help but want to open them.

From: cgranger4334fbigov
To: asprington8812fbigov
Subject: Re: Case files needed URGENTLY!

Negative. He looked over but I think you're right and the boring subject line convinced him it wasn't anything exciting. He's gone back to losing at chess against someone on the internet.

I think you're right, I always have to talk myself out of opening the spam emails even though I know they're spam.

From: asprington8812fbigov
To: cgranger4334fbigov
Subject Re: re: Case files needed URGENTLY!

Good because I think we might have a problem.

Maybe I should have left the URGENTLY! out of the subject line. I think the upper case letters and exclamation mark might make it a bit exciting considering we're trying to avoid notice.

PS: do you think he loses on purpose? I mean, I get losing to the brainiacs and even Don or Ian but he lost to us. I don't know about you but I know that I'm really bad at chess. I don't even know what some of the pieces are called.

From: cgranger4334fbigov
To: asprington8812fbigov
Subject: Re: re: re: Case files needed URGENTLY!

A problem aside from the fact that I don't think we've been out of the office in at least a week and my paperwork has started to come to life and reproduce asexually?

I don't know either. I thought that kid was teaching him how to be good at chess but I don't think it's working very well because strangers on the internet have been laughing at him. I see the 'LOL' messages sometimes.

They send him pictures of cats and babies or small children saying mean things as well. It doesn't make much sense. I hear him muttering about it sometimes too.

From: asprington8812fbigov
To: cgranger4334fbigov
Subject: Re: re: re: re: Case files needed URGENTLY!

Yeah, it seems like there are more problems than I thought. We just wrapped up this dating service guy who killed three of the ladies he got matched with. I've just been putting all the files together and you'll never guess what is in his hobbies section.

I don't even have anything to say to that. The internet is kind of frightening.

From: cgranger4334fbigov
To: asprington8812fbigov
Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: Case files needed URGENTLY!

You can't be serious.

We have to make sure he never ever hears about this or Don will probably have to suspend him pending a psych evaluation and then he'll be in a bad mood when he comes back and there will be no coffee EVER.

This is a disaster. Can you destroy the files or bribe someone else to do it or maybe we could send David on a wild goose chase and swear everyone to silence while he's gone?

From: asprington8812fbigov
To: cgranger4334fbigov
Subject: Damage control initiated

Roger that. I'm on it.

PART II

From: tmclean2682fbigov
To: deppes3695fbigov
Subject: Case briefing #911

I hope you're enjoying New Orleans because we have a potential disaster on our hands back here in LA, Eppes.

From: deppes3695fbigov
To: tmclean2682fbigov
Subject: Re: Case briefing #911

You sure know how to ruin a guy's day and I'm not even in the same state as you. That's a skill, McLean.

What's gone wrong this time? Please tell me Granger hasn't tried to make coffee and accidentally wiped out SWAT. I am not putting myself between him and them if that's what it comes down to. We all know how that will end and it will not be pretty.

From: tmclean2682fbigov
To: deppes3695fbigov
Subject: Re: re: Case briefing #911

If you were here in the office and doing your job with the coffee pot that wouldn't even be remotely likely. As it is I've had to spend a fortune on Starbucks to keep him out of the break room.

Li in Forensics forwarded me a copy of some emails sent between Granger and Springton this morning. I have reasonable grounds to suspect that tech have flagged anything between those two as potentially disastrous and are using it as a reason to keep up with all their shenanigans.

Anyway. My guys just wrapped up that dating site killer case and guess what was listed in his hobbies section?

From: deppes3695fbigov
To: tmclean2682fbigov
Subject: Re: re: re: Case briefing #911

Now I get why you used the #911.

More to the point, do you think I could convince Wright to transfer Sinclair to New York or something until this blows over and there is no chance of him finding out?

Also, remind me to never discuss seriously sensitive topics via email again.

From: tmclean2682fbigov
To: deppes3695fbigov
Subject: Re: re: re: re: Case briefing #911

I think the chances of that are about as slim as Granger and Springton not screwing the pooch on this. How soon before you can be back?

Noted. Li, if you're reading this I am going to tell Granger that you want to try his coffee for scientific reasons.

From: deppes3695fbigov
To: tmclean2682fbigov
Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: Case briefing #911

Give David and Nikki the weekend off and take Colby and Liz. Fill her in, if you two can keep an eye on them the chances of them accidentally leaking it will be smaller. I'm going to try and be back by Monday.

Keep me updated, and Li, that is a death sentence so pick your next move wisely.

PART III

From: gmartinadminfbigov
To: mli3224fbigov
Subject: VC explosion

So, a little bird tells us that a perfect storm is brewing up there on the mysterious VC level.

Care to keep us ladies down here informed? We're willing to pay handsomely.

From: mli3224fbigov
To: gmartinadminfbigov
Subject: Re: VC explosion

Of course, would I ever withhold information from any of you? Some of Ali's famous cobbler wouldn't go amiss though.

I honestly don't know why they think anything they send to each other is actually confidential. They work for the government.

First bit of information: I wouldn't take coffee from anyone on the VC floor until Eppes gets back from New Orleans. There is a slight chance that it may have been made by Granger.

From: agregoryadminfbigov
To: mli3224fbigov
Subject: Happy birthday

Your cobbler will be ready for pickup tomorrow morning at precisely 8:30am.

Peach or apple?

From: mli3224fbigov
To: agregoryadminfbigov
Subject: Re: Happy birthday

Apple would be lovely, thank you.

PART IV

From: deppes3695fbigov
To: meganreevesuowedu

Subject: Come home right now

I will blackmail Bradford into giving you his doctorate if you go back to LA and somehow make everyone normal before I get back from New Orleans. They have a killer who meets the standards for a serial and actually had an online dating profile that listed jogging and/or running as a hobby.

I wish I was kidding.

From: meganreevesuowedu
To deppes3695fbigov
Subject: Re: Come home right now

You're on your own, Don.

I literally can't even explain how hard I am laughing right now – my supervisor is looking at me really worriedly.

Who am I kidding, that is hilarious and I'm going to get live footage streaming of all of it. You will never know who my inside source is.

PART V

From: meganreevesuowedu
To: mli3224fbigov
Subject: Bribery or blackmail, your choice

So, I am willing to offer some material on certain agents in return for an in to all the chaos that will happen in the next few days or, if you rather, I could come back to LA and provide them with some material, or just provide them with you, in person.

From: deppes3695fbigov
To: mli3224fbigov
Subject: Don't you dare

If you even think about indulging Reeves I am going to ruin everything Edgerton tries to eat for the next month and convince him it was you.

You know I could do it as well.

From: mli3224fbigov
To: deppes3695fbigov
Subject: you have my sword. or bow. whichever means you won't turn me over to Edgerton

Told her I've been stationed in Michigan.

From: mli3224fbigov
To: meganreevesuowedu
Subject: you terrify me even more than he does so I am just going to say yes and hope that the world doesn't end

^ that is all. Except for the fact that if Eppes asks, you think I'm in Michigan.


That was fun to write, I must admit.