Technical Difficulties .

Chapter One.

Location: Autobot base

Optimus.

Optimus was in the middle of giving Sideswipe and Sunstreaker a stiff lecture about some of the pranks they had been playing. All three of them got a "message received" notification.

All three opened the message from Sam at the same time-Sunstreaker and Sideswipe because it was something else that they could pay attention to rather than the ticking off Optimis was giving them, Optimus, because Sam was either in a mood to send him a polite but light-hearted communication - something Optimus could usually read while still keeping his full attention on another task - or he was in serious trouble beyond Bumblebee's capability to deal with, which meant the Twin's ticking-off could wait. Optimus suspected it was the former rather than the latter, because he would have expected Bumblebee to send an urgent call as well were it the latter.

His optics widened as his CPU assimilated the image Sam had sent, and his voice, mid-sentence, went silent. The Twins, too, were startled and shocked, but looked at each other, looked at Optimus' shocked face - his mouth had actually slipped open and his optics were wide - and began to snicker……

Ratchet

Ratchet was concentrating on welding up a tear in Cliffjumper's leg when Sam's communication came through. Ratchet had never yet received anything from Sam that would disturb him unduly during surgery, or any other activity, including his 'sparring lessons' he regularly had with Ironhide. On this basis, he opened it.

"Yeeowch!" yelled Cliffjumper as Ratchet's hand jerked, opening up the tear instead of closing it. "What are you doing, Ratchet? Trying to kill me?"

"Sorry, Cliffjumper, I have just received what I perceive as a very disturbing image of a human doing something that looks medically inadvisable."

"Care to share? Seeing as you've just made my injury worse than it was?" Cliffjumper asked.

Ratchet considered, and wondered if Cliffjumper might have some different experiences that might explain just what was going on in the picture.

"Certainly. Perhaps you can explain what is happening in the pic? After all, I confined my search of the Internet to medical, language, and cultural issues. Maybe you have found something else to explain it?" Ratchet data burst the image.

Cliffjumper's optics opened wide, and he didn't move for about five seconds.

"No, Ratchet, I can't. I can understand why you reacted that way, however. Can you please offline me, so if any more disturbing messages come up, I won't feel their effects on you?"

Ratchet saw no harm in this, so he complied. Before he got back to work, however, he composed a reply to Sam's E-mail.

Ironhide.

Ironhide was practicing his targeting when the message came through. He opened it without thinking.

A few seconds later, a ten-foot hole was punched in the armoury wall, as Ironhide jerked in reaction to the image Sam had sent.

"Slag it!" said Ironhide.

Jazz

Jazz was out on patrol with Prowl - both were in car form - when Jazz got the message. He opened it-and stalled.

"Jazz?" asked Prowl, concerned. All Prowl got from Jazz was a peal of disbelieving laughter.

"What is it?" asked Prowl. He checked for the presence of humans - there were none, and their location was somewhat away from most human traffic - and transformed.

"Jazz!" he said, shaking his car-shaped Sparkmate, who was still laughing too hard to do anything else. Prowl knew though, at this point, that it was Jazz's sense of humour that had him so paralysed, not some Decepticon-induced virus, for Prowl not only new Jazz's sense of humour by now, but could feel Jazz's amusement through their bond.

"C'mon, Jazz, what's so funny? Care to share with your nearest and dearest-that is me, I hope?"

Jazz unlocked enough to databurst This-was so funny-the first time I saw it-and it's-still funny! Then he databurst the picture. Prowl was silent for a whole sixty seconds, then spoke.

"That is the human equivalent of a mech…right?" he asked.

"Yes!" said Jazz, still laughing.

"Then why does he resemble very much the look of a human femme who's just given birth?" Prowl asked.

His only reply was an intensification of Jazz's laughter.

Optimus.

"You two…are dismissed-for now!" Optimus stated to the Twins, needing time to assimilate the picture and work out what it meant. The Twins both slipped out at the given opportunity.

"We want to thank Bumblebee's fleshy pet when we get the chance." said Sunstreaker.

"Friend, Sunny, not pet, friend, remember, or Bumblebee will have your lugnuts for rivet-reinforcers, Sunny!" cautioned Sideswipe.

"Okay, friend, pet, whatever, we want to thank him for saving us from three hours of Optimus-ranting!" said Sunstreaker.

"Friend, Sunny, he's intelligent, despite first impressions, and Bumbebee likes him." cautioned Sideswipe.

"I have an idea for a better use of the time." smiled Sunstreaker evilly. When Sunny had that look in his optics, 'Sides knew he had to know what his twin was thinking.

"Oh, Sunny, do share?" asked Sideswipe.

"Thinking of how we can use it against Starscream." said Sunstreaker,

Both Twins looked at each other, and both had the same thought, at the same time, and both of them grinned.

It was a grin that did not bode well for Starscream.