I try to go back to sleep, but somehow I just can't. I roll around in my bed, still trying to make myself tired. After a while I sigh and give up.

I stare at the ceiling with thoughts running around in my head. So many questions and words to say but I just can't spit it out.

"God, if You can hear me please answer my questions. What exactly is it that I feel? Why can't I bring back my memories of the old him? Why did he changed a lot? Why must I feel sad for all of this? Why did You make me feel this way?"

"Because you're the one who started it, love."

"Shut up, Oliver. I'm not asking you, idiot."

"Yeah, right. You say it out loud here in your head so technically you're asking me too, Genius."

"Shut up, you bloody git."

"What? You're still mad? Come on, love, you know I'm right about you."

I sigh and give up, then I roll my body again so I can face the window. The moonlight makes it way through the glass and shines my room. I feel sleepy but my eyelids refuses to cover my eyes. I mutter some words as I try to close them.

"Please put me to sleep with my burning inner voice."

I return to my dorm the next day with pain all over me. My body hurts because I have martial arts for sports today and Alfred and I had to fight against Kiku and Kirana (she's my favourite fanmade character and she represents Indonesia *\(^-^)/*). I mean, Kiku's a judoka and he can do ninja things, for scone's sake. To add it worse, Kirana studied both jeet kune do and a traditional martial art from her country called pencak silat, which from what I heard is in the 20 most deadliest martial art in the world (I've read about this somewhere and I can't help but to feel proud because I'm a senior in pencak silat, though I'm in karate too ^^).

So...well, you know how it ended.

Meanwhile, my heart aches more as I saw Francis gave a present to Felicity for her birthday today. Yeah, call me childish or whatever you want to, but I can't help it but to feel that way.

I look around as I enter my dorm. There's no one inside, since everyone have extra classes or another activities. Alfred is in the football team, while Matthew is in the hockey team. Ivan is usually being chased by her crazy yandere sister, and Yao is probably hanging out with his Asian friends.

As I pass through the kitchen, I notice there's a piece of cake on a plate placed on the dining table. Beside the plate is a letter with 'Arthur' written on the envelope. I don't have to look closer to know it's from Francis. I quickly open the envelope and read the letter inside.

How's your life, mon ami? I hope you're doing well. I'm sorry I can no longer spend time with you and the others. You see, I'm in love, and I'm sure you'll be in my position right now someday, madly in love with someone.

I sigh as I read the last sentence. He really doesn't know, does he? I am already in love, and the worst part is I'm in love with him. Then I read the next part of the letter.

But, I'd never forget about my promise. I promised you to make you a dessert every 3 months, and here you are. By the way, you didn't want scones last time, right? So I made you this. It's called Mont Blanc. Feliciano helped me making this since it's from his country, although this is the French version. I hope you enjoy it~

Francis

I smile as I glance over the cake. It looks like a thin layer of chocolate cake with a tall layer of chocolate whipped cream on it. On top of the whipped cream is a big brown chestnut that looks like it has been sweetened.

I take a spoonful of it and put it in my mouth. It's so creamy and sweet, just like tiramisu, clearly saying that it's from Italy. I also found chestnuts inside the frosting. The sweetened chestnut mixed perfectly with the cream. The cake tastes a little like coffee, but also tastes like chocolate and milk.

I smile as I take another spoonful of it. I imagined Francis with chocolate whipped cream all over his face and hand while Feliciano childishly bouncing around him and happily saying 've~' so many times while helping him making the cake batter.

I chuckle at the scene in my head. Knowing that Francis still keeping his promise makes me happy, but still, I can't find a way to confess. I know he already has a girlfriend, but I'm only going to say I like him, not asking him to be my boyfriend. It's not like he's going to accept my feelings...

...right?

It's fine if it's true. It's fine if he won't accept my feelings. It's fine if he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore. I have to say everything to him before it's too late. I determined myself to confess to him on the weekend, when he's not going out with Felicity.

But, can I really do that? There's no going back in this, or I will be scared again. After I confess, who knows what will happen next. Maybe he'll accept, maybe he'll get angry at me, maybe he'll just walk away with blank expression.

I sigh sadly, then I glance over the half-eaten cake in front of me. I wish I can jump into the whipped cream, forgetting about this world and just drown in its sweetness with my bare feet.

I don't think I can do it.

Not because I didn't have enough courage. I already made up my mind and telling myself that it will be all over after I say it. Just tell him and let God do the rest. But I can't do that, and that's not because of me.

It's because of Francis himself.

He has completely become a stranger to me. He never hangs out with me and the others, he started to forget Antonio and Gilbert, his grades started to drop, and he looks like he doesn't even care about it all.

He's still floating around in my mind. He's still the main thing that I always think about. But I started to forget the Francis I used to know. The Francis I know now is just another typical bad boy: lazy, introvert, not caring about school, only thinking about his girlfriend, and rebellious.

"Hello! Is anybody in there?"

I snapped out of my mind when someone knocks the door. I peek from the small looking hole on the door and see Feliciano, swinging back and forth happily.

I open the door, and he smiles brightly at me. "Oh, hello, Arthur! Is Francis-niichan home?"

"Uh, umm...I'm sorry, Feli, but he's not inside. It's just me."

"Oh..." his face turns into a sad one, but then it turns happy again. "Nevermind then! Will you help me with my homework? It's so hard and the only one who used to teach me is Francis-niichan, but he changed a lot now and I know it's impossible to ask him to change back but..."

"Okay, okay, you can continue inside," I say while stepping aside and making a way for him. He walks inside with bright smile and a long 've~' coming from his mouth.

I tell him to sit while I prepare a cup of tea for me and a glass of milk for him. I bring those to the table in front of the sofa, while Feli already started doing his homework.

"Uwaaa, this is just too hard!" he whines. "I'm already a 9th grader but I still can't understand algebra!"

"It's advanced algebra, it is supposed to be hard," I say while laughing. Then I teach him the ways to solve all the problems. It takes two hours to finish all his homeworks and help him study for the test tomorrow.

"Huwaah, it's finally over! Thank you so much, Arthur!" he says happily as I laugh at his happy-go-lucky attitude. Then suddenly he stopped smiling and his face turns into a serious one. He looks at me with his eyes widely open, something he only does when he gets really serious.

"E-eh? What's wrong, Feli?"

"Matthew told me you like Francis-niichan. Is it true?"

"W-what!?" I shout. "Dammit, Matthew. Of all people, you're the one who told it to someone else..."

"It's fine to tell me! Matthew isn't Francis-niichan's only half-brother. I'm his half-brother too, remember?" then he sigh sadly. "When I heard about that, I really hope Francis-niichan goes out with you instead of Felicity..."

I started to blush madly. What's wrong with this kid and his honesty? He's too open with his words, doesn't he realize it!?

"W-why d-do you think s-so, Feli?" I stuttered. "I mean, Francis and I always argue with each other since we were kids! Why do you prefer him with me instead of Felicity?"

"Because your arguments and fights with him makes him who he is!" he says. "Well, who he was, since he's not him anymore..."

"Uh, is that so?"

"Yes, it is! Why haven't you confessed to him?"

"Because..." I sigh, then I tell him everything. Feli's surprisingly quiet and listens carefully when I talk. I sighed sadly after I finish.

"I always think about him, but now there's nothing left to think about. He's changing a lot, it's like looking a whole different person, while the Francis I know is slowly but completely fading away," I sigh. "I used to talk like this to him, but now I can no longer tell him everything."

"That's why you should tell him the words that will explain everything to him," the Italian boy says. I only smile at him with sad feeling.

I don't know what's wrong with him.

He's becoming worse now. He always comes back to the dorm way past the bell signing the end of the last lesson. He usually comes home after an hour or two because he's in the Gourmet Club, but now he always comes back 5 or 6 hours after the bell.

And today is the worst. Francis hasn't come back and it's an hour to midnight. Matthew and Feliciano are so worried they can die of panic attack anytime.

"W-where is Francis-niichan...?" the poor Italian boy whimpers as his friends, Ludwig and Kiku, and his twin Lovino panicly tried to calm him down.

"T-this is t-the worst...W-what's w-wrong him?" Matthew trembles while hugging his polar bear plushie tightly like he's going to die without it. "I c-can't believe t-this...I'm a-afraid s-something bad h-happened..."

"Well, maybe he just got detention, right?" Alfred tried to sound cheerful, but he still can't hide the fear in his voice. "He got detentions a lot, and...argh, who am I kidding!? No one will give detentions until this late!"

Suddenly someone knocks the door, then the door was slammed open. Four people in pajamas comes in: Antonio, Gilbert, Elizaveta, and Roderich.

"The awesome me is here!" Gilbert shouts while pumping his fist in the air.

"Shut up, idiot. It's not the time for saying those words," Antonio says while smacking him on the backhead. "Guys, is it true that Francis isn't back yet?"

"Unfortunately, it is true," I say.

"God, he's such an idiot!" Elizaveta says. "What happened to him? He's not his usual self this lately!"

"Is it because that girl? Fay? Felicia?...Um, what's her name again?" Roderich asks the girl beside her.

"It's Felicity, you dumbo, and if all royal descent are as forgetful as you then I don't want to be a princess," Elizaveta says.

"Ouch, that's harsh," Gilbert says while laughing his signature laugh.

"Hey, hey, guys, silent!" I say while raising my hands. "Listen."

The room suddenly becomes quiet, then we hear some laughing voices that sounds like they come from somewhere on the hall outside. There's a girl's laugh, then there's another laugh that sounds odd, like 'ohonhon'.

"It's Francis-niichan!" Feliciano shouts, strangely with anger. He looks at Matthew, then they nod with determination in their eyes. They stand up and quickly run outside.

"Oi, oi, where are you guys going?" Alfred shouts.

"Hey, where are you taking him?" we hear Felicity shouts outside.

"Go back to your dorm, Felicity!" Matthew yells at her with anger in his voice.

"We have something to say to our beloved Francis-niichan," Feliciano says with dangerous voice. Then we see them dragging Francis by his collar into the dorm.

"What's wrong with both of you!?"

"The one who's wrong is you!" Matthew shouts at him without stuttering, making all of us shocked. "Look at how many people waiting for you! You can't just disappear after school and come back hours later! Do you even have any idea what time is it now!?"

"So what? Tomorrow's weekend anyway, and besides I have no homeworks or school duties."

"'So what'? Seriously, man, you got all of us worried sick and all you're saying is 'so what'?" Gilbert asks him while his hands make a fist. It didn't take long until everyone but me scolds him and telling him how worried they were, while Francis is also defending himself by giving reasons and scolding back.

"Oi, Arthur!" I hear Francis shouts at me. "Aren't you going to help me? Come on, mon ami, I'm your best friend, right?"

Everyone looks at me with angry faces. I stand from my seat and walk approaching him while trying my best to keep my face looks calm. I look straight in his eyes and punches his face, making everyone gasps as they see blood from his nose

"Ouch! You too, Arthur!?" Francis says while wiping off the blood. "What's your problem, Arthur!? We promised to help each other!"

"Yes, but this time I'm afraid I can't keep my promise, since you didn't keep it too."

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"Oh, I'm talking about how you abandoned us for your girlfriend. How you left your friends who were always by your side no matter what happened. How you always make your brothers scared to death that something might happened to you when you came home late at night. How you make me worried sick about your sudden change. I'm talking about you, Francis Bonnefoy! You, the one who make us gather here right now, waiting for you!"

He glares dagger at me, which makes me slightly uncomfortable. But then, those words comes out of his mouth.

"You should just die this very moment."