Author's Note: Disclaimer is same as the first. I own nothing but my undying devotion to the show. I won't even pretend to have dignity, I'll beg. Please, please, please review- and as always, nothing too harsh, but please be honest. There are two more one-shots, and none of them are in chronological order. There are identifying statements in each one-shot so that an overall the chronology is established. I hope it's not too confusing, I just thought it would be interesting to jump back and forth between different pov's at different points in time. So, I hope you all enjoy!
Finally
Addison Montgomery-Shepherd would never claim to be the world's greatest wife. Yes, she cheated on her husband. Repeatedly. But hell, if they were pointing fingers, so did he. She could never completely reconcile with the fact that he began a serious relationship with Meredith while they were still married. She especially couldn't reconcile with the fact that his interest in her had yet to fade. Addison would admit to possessing more than her fair share of unsavory characteristics. She could be bitchy, she could be bossy, Smug, nasty, stubborn. The list kept going, and for the most part she was unapologetic about her faults. But one thing she wasn't, was stupid. Derek and Meredith had sex the night of the prom. This much was clear to her without words. What also became clear to her the night of prom, was that Meredith Grey was in love. And it wasn't with her husband. Yes, for the first time in a long time, something was going Addison Shepherd's way.
Bailey's interns, a tight knit and exclusive group grew to include Finn and Callie, and pretty soon Finn became a fixture at Seattle Grace. Not in a pathetic, Meredith's lapdog way, but he seemed to drop off and pick up Meredith everyday, and he was often present at lunch with the group. Addison hoped this would aid in solving their problems, but to her dismay Derek seemed more focused on Meredith than ever. He watched her like a hawk, looking for any sign of distress, any sign that she wasn't happy. No sign came. Meredith seemed to glow now, and Addison could almost understand. She had only seen a whiny, moping, broken hearted Meredith. Nothing about her seemed particularly irresistible. But a happy Meredith…this, she could see the appeal to. This Meredith smiled a lot, she laughed more, and she was kinder to those around her. This Meredith was beautiful.
Addison sometimes wondered if she had ever been Meredith to Derek. A beautiful young woman who could save him from himself. She hoped that she had. As the months and then years went by, Derek seemed to accept Meredith and Finn's relationship more. Until the relationship changed. There was a fight. From what Addison had overheard, harsh words were exchanged between the two and Meredith had moved back into the house she once shared with Izzie and George. Finn was no longer a familiar presence at Seattle Grace, and Meredith no longer smiled. And no one was more aware of the current situation then Derek. His eyes held a renewed sense of life, of spirit. The thrill of the chase was back in him.
Addison had immediately gone on the defense. She glared at Meredith in passing, clung to Derek's side, accompanied him in the halls ,(and especially in the elevator), as often as possible. It quickly became apparent though, to her and Derek, that Meredith was still in love with Finn. The brightness had left her, and she seemed even more lost than after Addison's arrival at Seattle Grace. After a few weeks, things seemed to clear up between Finn and Meredith, who seemed cautiously happy once again. By years end the two were back on track. During these few months Addison examined her own relationship. It was clear to her that Derek didn't love her, not the way he used to. And the independent, feminist Addison of the past would love nothing more than to come kick the crap out of her weepy, future self. But it was also clear to Addison that she did love Derek. For some reason, Derek Shepherd had been the only boy in her heart, from the first day she met him, as a twenty-two year old, fresh-faced med student. She had lost sight of this love, briefly, but it never left her heart.
A new year began, and Addison's hope grew. Derek looked at her again. One morning, getting ready for work in the cramped little trailer, Derek had had to reach around her in the "bathroom". His eyes met hers in the mirror and he actually looked into them, and smiled, for the first time in a long time. It was such a small thing, she knew it was ridiculous to be so excited. She felt like a new mother marking off momentous occasions in a baby book- baby focuses on an object, baby's first smile. Still, if nothing else, it had to be a step in the right direction. And so that day, after they arrived at Seattle Grace and she saw Derek make eye contact with Meredith, she didn't let it bother her as much. She was at least getting back on even ground.
On days that Derek looked at her she went out of her way to touch him, casually, making it seem like an accident. After the first few attempts Derek began to respond. Small as it was, it was another shift in the right direction for their relationship, and Addison was grateful for it. On days when he did not look at her she left him alone. Instead of trying to force contact on him, she decided to give him space, the only thing she hadn't ever really tried. She was either all over him, or all over his best friend. Now she was attempting to give him what he really wanted, for the first time, and it felt good. Yes, Addison was weak. But there was something that felt empowering to her, choosing to be weak. Choosing to be a woman, for a moment, and not a doctor.
Along with this change in herself, Addison decided to stop hating Meredith. Well, she would try anyway. For the first time in along time, Addison was looking inside of herself and her relationships. Meredith didn't create their problems, Meredith didn't really exacerbate their problems, and as far as she was concerned, Meredith was no longer their problem. Meredith had moved on, and though Addison continued to give her the cold shoulder, she knew Meredith was all but oblivious to their current situation. The problems the couple faced now were of their own creation. Feelings that remained unspoken for too long. In truth, if it hadn't been Meredith, it would have been someone else. So on the mornings that Derek looked at her, Addison looked at Meredith. At first the looks, even though they were accompanied by a smile, seemed to unnerve the younger woman. Eventually though, Meredith began to smile back, and sometimes was even the first to attempt eye contact. It was a cordial relationship at best, and it was probably as close as the two would ever be, but it too was the start of a new Addison.
Their marriage would never be perfect, it would never even be what it once was. This, Addison could admit. And as much as it hurt, her husband would never completely get over Meredith Grey, this she could admit as well. But looking at the enormous smile that overwhelmed Meredith's delicate face, and the enormous ring that overwhelmed Meredith's delicate hand, she had hope that maybe they could be happy again. This could be the first real chance to start over. Finally.
