From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea

Stepping off the bus, Haley set her suitcase down, looked around, and weighed her options.

She could call Nathan. God knew that she wanted to. She could think of no better homecoming than his arms wrapping around her, his lips touching hers. But she wasn't sure if it would go exactly as she was imagining, considering she hadn't talked to him in three months.

It wasn't that she'd forgotten about him. Just the opposite, in fact. Not a day had gone by that she hadn't thought of him, worried about how he was getting along without her. But he'd been so cold when she left, so … detached. At first, she'd wanted to give him some time to cool down, and then things had gotten so hectic and there was just never a good time. Besides, what would she have said? "Hi, honey, how are you doing since I abandoned you? How's life in the small town you're stuck in?"

Maybe she could just call a cab.

Haley grinned. That was it. She'd call a cab, get dropped off at their apartment, and surprise him. It was – she checked her watch – still early. Unless Nathan had changed drastically in the past few weeks, he would definitely still be sleeping. She could even cook him breakfast.

She didn't let herself think about the idea that he might be less than welcoming. Sure, he had been angry when she left, who wouldn't be? But he'd probably missed her just as much as she'd missed him. He was going to be so excited to see her again, he might even forget that they'd left things on such bad terms. Plus, she was going to dedicate herself one hundred percent to him now that she was back for the school year. She would be a regular Stepford wife to make up for all their lost time.

The cab pulled to a stop and the driver turned around to look at her. "Thirteen dollars, ma'am."

Haley handed over a twenty. "Keep the change." It was one of the upsides to her summertime tour – she had lots of cash and even more stashed away in savings. Her private account, not the one she shared with Nathan, but she intended to join the two as soon as she got the chance. "Thank you."

Standing on the sidewalk and staring up at their apartment, she took a deep breath. This is going to be easy, she told herself. Everything is going to be fine.

Her key turned easily, which came as somewhat of a relief. He hadn't changed the locks on her or anything. She stepped in and paused to look around. The place looked exactly the same. His shoes were kicked off in the hall, as usual, and there was a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. The television, muted, was an ESPN replay of a basketball game. But there was her book on the chair, right where she'd left it, page marked by a Post-It. And her slippers, which she'd forgotten, tucked under the coffee table where she'd last toed them off.

Haley smiled. It was like she'd never left.

She wanted to make him breakfast – would he prefer French toast or waffles? – but first, she just needed to see him. Leaving her luggage in the doorway, she hung her coat on the hook next to his varsity jacket and tiptoed down the hall to their bedroom. Quietly, so as not to disturb him, she pushed the door open … and there he was, same as ever.

Nathan sleeping could be her favorite thing, Haley mused. He looked like such a little boy, with his brown hair all mussed and his expression one of utter tranquility. He sprawled out like a child too, laying claim to the entire mattress, forcing her to snuggle up under one arm or sleep on the floor. She chose the former every time.

"Hi, Nate," she whispered – not to wake him, just because she wanted to say his name out loud. She told herself she should get into the kitchen if she wanted to be ready for when he woke up. But she stayed, frozen in place, unable to tear her eyes off the man she was lucky enough to call her husband.

She really would dedicate herself to being his wife now, Haley decided. He'd put up with her musical inhibitions, even been supportive, up until the breaking point. He deserved to have her full attention for awhile. Starting now.

Forget breakfast, a little voice coached her. Just climb in and get some sleep. He'll wake up with you in his arms and probably forget he was ever mad in the first place.

Haley hesitated. It was tempting. It had been so long since she'd fallen asleep in Nathan's arms. Wouldn't this be even better than making him some dumb meal? And it would show him that she was here to stay.

Decision made, Haley came fully into the room and slowly, carefully, slid herself onto the bed. Nathan shifted in his sleep, making enough room for her to crawl under his arm and snuggle up against his warm body. He mumbled something – Miss you, maybe? – and pulled her closer.

Haley gave a long sigh of contentment. She was home.

XXX

"I miss you."

Brooke smiled. "I know."

Nathan knew he was dreaming. It wasn't hard to tell. Dream-Brooke was … softer than the real thing. Her edges blurred where Brooke's were sharp; she caressed where Brooke would cut. Still, he allowed himself to stay asleep, enjoying the chance to talk with a gentler version of the girl he knew.

"So why did you have to leave?" he asked, taking on a casual tone. As if she'd gone on vacation instead of abandoning him.

Dream-Brooke wasn't any more fooled by his act than the real Brooke would have been. "You know why, Nathan. I had to go."

"I could come with you," he offered. He was trying to negotiate with a figment of his imagination. It was obviously a cry for help. "We could go somewhere else, be together."

"Sure." She grinned, and the way her teeth flashed made her seem just like herself. "Let's do that. Let's run away. I'll tell your wife, you tell your brother."

"We don't have to say anything," he started to argue, but stopped himself.

It didn't help. Even in his dreams, Brooke knew what he was going to say before he said it. "And we don't need friends or college degrees or sunshine and water, right, Nate?" Her laughter was short and loud, a smack in the face. He could almost feel the sting. Apparently, she was more like the real thing than he thought. "We don't need anything but each other."

"You always do this," he said angrily. "It's not fair. Why do you always get to be the one who walks away?"

"Because you won't." And now she was gentle again, the back of her hand brushing gently down his cheek. "I'm doing it for both of us, Nathan. So we can both be …"

"Happy?" He laughed at that. "I'm not happy. You're not happy."

"We will be." Her fingers stilled at his lips, tapped the bottom one gently. "You'll see. Give it time. Things will go back to normal. Promise."

"Wait, Brooke, I –" It was too late. She disappeared, leaving him alone. Again. "I miss you," he repeated, but faintly this time. He already knew she couldn't hear him.

XXX

Nathan woke up still clinging to vestiges of his dream; Brooke's scent, her hand on his cheek. He still felt warm where her skin had touched his.

Actually…

Actually, there was skin touching his. Nathan's eyelids fluttered, struggling to open fully, as he reached up with one hand and clutched the fingers that rested on his cheek. "Oh, good," he murmured, as relief poured through him. "You're here."

"I'm here." The voice, though not Brooke's, was entirely familiar. "And there's no place else I'd rather be."

Nathan's eyes snapped open at that.

"Haley?"

His wife smiled at him, seemingly unaware that he was beyond freaked out. "Surprise!"

"I'd say so." Was he going crazy? Could this still be a dream? "What are you … what time is it?"

Haley leaned over him to check the alarm clock, her long hair (longer, now, it had been months, for God's sake) brushing against his bare chest. "Uh, not even eight yet. Why? Do you have an appointment or something?"

"No, no, I just –" He stopped talking and just glanced around the room, at a loss. Where was Brooke? They'd fallen asleep together last night, he knew they had. "Did you … when did you get back?"

"Just a few minutes ago. I was going to cook you breakfast but then I saw you sleeping and I just couldn't resist laying down for a bit. It's been a long couple months."

"Yeah … yeah, it definitely has." It had been a lifetime, or so it felt. Suddenly uncomfortable with her play at domesticity, he slid out of the bed, grabbing the first shirt he could get his hands on. "Uh, how've you been? How's … how's the tour?"

Haley frowned and sat up a little, propping herself on her elbow. "The tour was great. Chris thinks I have a real shot of making it big someday."

"Chris." Nathan half-chuckled, half-groaned the name. "Oh, good, well, as long as Chris says so."

"Nathan." She stood up, trying to make them eye level. He avoided her gaze. "You're not still upset about that, right? I told you, it was one kiss. It meant nothing."

"Right, right, of course not. And the leaving me for three months on a bus with him, that meant nothing, too, I'm sure." He knew he had no right to be snippy – hell, two hours ago, he'd been the one with someone else in his bed. But he was distracted with trying to figure out where Brooke had gone. "Listen. Hales, I'm sorry. It's not you, it's just … I didn't get a lot of sleep. And I didn't expect to even see you here. I'm thrown off, that's all."

"It's okay." Smiling again, she rose on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck and greet him properly. "It's been awhile, I know. I'm sorry I was gone so long. I'm going to make it up to you, I swear."

"No, you don't have to make up for anything." Now he just felt guilty. She may have kissed another guy before taking off, but he'd been with Brooke all summer – had fought to stay with her even when she reminded him that he had a wife. "How 'bout we just have breakfast, okay? We can talk."

"Okay, talking's good … I guess." He couldn't blame her from looking a bit apprehensive as she trailed him from the bedroom to the kitchen. "So, how was your summer, Nate?"

"My summer was …" His mind flipped from adjective to adjective, trying to find something appropriate. "It was different. You know, with no one here and all. Not much going in good old Tree Hill."

He cringed even as he said the words. He could see Brooke in his mind's-eye, giving him that smirk that always made him want to kiss her even more, saying, Liar, liar, Nathan. Worse, he could picture her staring at him dejectedly, shoulders slumped as she asked, Why couldn't you just tell her the truth?

"But enough about me," he said, changing the subject to one he wanted to hear about even less. "How's life on the road, rock star?"

Haley's eyes lit up in a way he hadn't seen in a long time. "It was amazing, Nathan, just incredible. The first performance was …"

Nathan took a seat and tried to pay attention to everything she was telling him, but his mind kept drifting back to the girl he'd hoped to wake up with.