"Step aside! Gorgeous assets are coming through, here!"
It was a busy Saturday afternoon at the local mall. Down by the fountain there were numerous technical specialists setting up a booth for recruitment. Recruitment for what, you ask? Why, none other than the latest season of Total Drama. There were excited whispers and cellphones were whipped out to get minor glimpses of the fabled host and his gorgeously coifed mane of a raven hue. (A lot of the show's budget goes towards this man's hair, if you hadn't noticed. And you know what? It looks pretty damn good.)
Chris McLean kept his favourite pair of aviator sunglasses sitting comfortably on his face as he scrolled through his tablet, waiting for these useless people to hurry up and finish setting up the booth. As Topher more than generously pointed out last season, Chris wasn't getting any younger, here! And thanks to Shawn, his promo-bots were destroyed, forcing him to have to do this grunt work himself. Tapping his foot impatiently, he continued to browse through the numerous audition tapes of the final qualifying contestants— who had all been invited to this mall to sign their release forms and meet Chris for the first time.
The executives in charge of the casting of the show had really outdone themselves this year, Chris could admit.
He reeeeaally couldn't wait to mess with these kids.
The production staff had the backdrop and sound equipment hooked up within the hour, earning an eye roll from Chris— though it couldn't be seen as he insisted on wearing his sunglasses indoors, ensuring that he'd be the maximum douche possible.
It was an intimidation tactic, really. It also ensured that he'd look smoking hot. (Wouldn't want another usurping incident, would we?) Glancing over at a nearby intern, Chris cleared his throat loudly in order to get the kid's attention. They happened to be carrying a very large and undoubtedly heavy monitor. Stopping by the host, the boy's knee's trembled as he waited for Chris' instructions.
"I'm feeling in a… mocha mood. Get me something hot to drink, and make sure it's chocolaty, yet doesn't make me fat." Chris said with a scowl, wondering what was taking so long already. Nodding meekly, the intern went about setting down the heavy monitor and rushing off to hydrate the celebrity. What Chris wants, he gets; no questions asked! "And don't go cutting corners, either! I want none of that dark chocolate crap!"
Now that that was taken care of, and the fact that java was now on the way, Chris was in a much better mood. The table was set up, boxes full of release forms were being unloaded, velvet ropes were being put up to close off this section of the mall… the ball was now a-rollin'! A crowd of fans was beginning to form behind the red ropes with security keeping a close eye on the fans— Total Drama fans were rather rabid, after all. Better safe than sorry. The first constant had arrived with his mother in tow (looking rather star struck by the sight of Chris McLean), awkwardly glancing down at his blue converse shoes. He didn't get out much.
Getting let past the rope, he walked up to the desk as a line of other contestants began forming a line by the registration area.
"U-Uh, wow. This is actually happening."
"Darn right it is, kid. Now which one of the lucky campers are you?"
"I'm Jeremy. Jeremy Stevens."
Chris pushed a thick stack of papers towards the lanky teen, unable to help but smirk. He was definitely brains and not brawn.
He wouldn't last long.
As Jeremy picked up a pen and began sifting through the large package, he sighed and just pictured himself as one of those actors he loved; they have to go through big contracts like this, right? It was no big deal.
An auburnette began to approach next, a bit shaken by the volume of the crowd and the noise level. Her breathing had grown a bit shallow as she nervously began approaching Chris McLean. Chris, wanting to get this over with before his teeth bleaching appointment at four, turned his head and sent Jeremy a bored look.
"Do you mind shoving over a bit? We have other people to get through."
Jeremy frowned at being rushed and sighed as he quickly finished off the last of his signatures.
"One quick question— do our parents need to sign these? There's quite a lot of stuff in here." He said, eying the contract warily.
"None of our contestants are under sixteen, which is the legal age of consent in Canada. Sooooo… you're good." The host said with a shrug.
Jeremy shrugged in return before handing his completed contract back to Chris, awkwardly walking back over to his mother, where they started walking away.
Chris glanced over to the next contested— the one with the red hair and big blue eyes. She was a cute kid, Chris could give her that.
"You gonna sign your contract, or…?"
"Y-Yes! Right, heh, sorry." She said, reaching for it and scrawling the name 'Tamara Paulsen' on the numerous dotted lines in pretty purple ink. "Thanks, Chris! See you on the island!"
Rolling his eyes and sighing, he glared at the intern as they handed him his coffee. "Took you long enough." Sipping on it happily, the host seemed to be in a much more tolerable mood, having been given his pick-me-up.
The next kid in line began approaching, and he was fierce. His red high tops pounded against the tile floor as his taupe grey eyes focused on McLean's sunglasses.
"Indoors? Really?" He snorted as he snatched up his contract confidently, signing his name; 'Frankie Matthews' with a star dotting the 'i'. Chris scowled at this, eying the kid's red v-neck t-shirt with a critical eye as he pushed his sunglasses up onto his head.
"Like you're one to talk. Nice school spirit, nerd."
How professional of you, Chris.
"Ahaha, nice burn. I'm sure you tried really hard to come up with that one." Frankie cooed, smirk only widening as the sarcasm oozed through his entire sentence. Once he was finished signing his contract he blew a kiss at the host, waving before he strutted away.
Eager hands donning black fingerless gloves reached for the next contract it was held up to a smiling face. "I'm like, really freaking out. I'm gonna be on TV, this is so cool!" The girl grinned widely, pushing a few waves of her dark brown hair out of her face. "I'm Tayana Corinne, Mr. McLean. Thanks for picking me."
"Oh please," droned Chris with a bored smile, giving her a lame thumbs up. "Call me Chris. Mr. McLean is my father."
Tayana chuckled at the joke before handing in her completed contract, smiling and waving as she left. Sighing, Chris narrowed his eyes at a kid donning a jet pack who was getting asked for autographs because of the fame of his mother and father.
"Some time today!" Chris hollered, cupping his hands by his mouth.
Razor, having heard this, waved goodbye to the crowd and left his proud parents to go sign his contract. Giving an apologetic smile to Chris, Razor handed in his completed contract before heading back to his parents and the small crowd. The Slinger family continued to radiate charm as Chris grumbled under his breath.
Next, a boy approached the registration desk with an anxious smile on his face. He rubbed at the back of his recently buzzed head as he walked over to the registration desk, brown eyes focused on the executive producers and wary interns. It was obvious that they were trying to be accommodating, but it just came off as pity.
"I can sign them myself, thanks."
He reached forward with his prosthetic arm and wrote his name- 'Miles Jackson' - legibly (used to having to do so), but it wasn't the fanciest scripture in the world by any means. He left soon after, unaware of the burning, elegant gaze taking in each and every one of his flaws, remaining trained on Miles' prosthetic arm until it was time to move forward.
The young man walked with a certain swagger that called even Chris McLean's into question as he approached the registration desk. The host was somewhat off put by the intensity of the teen's gaze, and the boy reveled in it. With a soft chuckle, he reached for the pen and began signing the name 'Judas Mammon' with the utmost of poise, glancing back at the line of competition every now and then.
It was never too early to start scoping out one's rivals, after all.
Once he was finished, he wiped his hand on his pants (who knew what commoners could have touched this pen?) and then pulled out a handkerchief, wiping his fingers as he walked away.
A petite girl was at the front of the line now, cute button nose buried deeply in her cellphone as she is seen taking a few photos of her fellow contestants before her upper lip tugs into a very slight smirk. Pushing a strand of pin straight brown hair out of her slightly narrowed blue eyes, she wordlessly makes her way over to Chris and smiles. Her bust barely reached the desk.
"Aren't you adorable?" The Host said teasingly, wincing slightly as he is met with a piercing glare and a chilling silence. "… Maybe not."
The girl rolled her eyes before signing the papers with the name 'Charlotte Jones' and tossing the package back on the desk with a quiet thud.
A boy looked up from his handheld gaming device and shut off his iPod, having fiddled with them to pass the time. Smiling and walking over to Chris, he tipped his baseball cap politely to great him.
"Hey Chris, I'm stoked for this season! Thanks for picking me."
"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. Sign your contract kid, we need to keep this line moving." Chris said, waving him off. He took a long sip of his latte as 'Steve Wilder' completes his contract and heads off, popping his earbuds back into his ears.
Elegant fingers were seen combing through pristine locks of platinum gold, before being tossed over her bare shoulder, exposed by her asymmetrical black sweater. The girl struts over, and Chris couldn't help but nostalgically think back to season one— and the day he had first met Heather.
"Good afternoon, McLean. I'm Angel Hale." She introduced herself with a pleasant smile, but Chris knew girls like her. He'd seen thousands of auditions of girls like her… but Angel was definitely a fit. She had a certain flair that was perfect for the show.
He'd humour her for now.
"You aren't from around here," Chris said as he noted her accent, which was a posh English one.
"No I'm not. However, I thought it was time for a visit to the colonies. Might as well leave with an expensive souvenir." And with that, she signed her release forms and left with a pleased smirk on her face.
The next contestant was dragged to the front of the line, looking very, very overwhelmed by his surroundings. His parents were hushing him and rubbing his back. He looked very much like a dog, hunched over and needing to be soothed so that he wouldn't lash out and bite.
"Hi, we're Maverick's parents. We'll be signing for him," said his mother calmly while her son began to drool a bit.
"Easy, buddy. It's okay. That's Chris! You'll be in good hands, champ." His father said with a smile, nodding at Chris as Maverick seemed to calm down a bit and smile at the host.
"Hi Chris."
Chris simply stared at the Dongwu family as the release forms were signed, gaze lingering on them as they walked away. "Weird." He commented.
A girl with a full figure and a thicker, more natural looking brow approached the desk next. "'Vere do I sign?" She asked, Russian accent clear in her voice as she stared down at Chris expectantly.
Chris, not appreciating her tone, sent her a faint smirk as he gestured to the contract. "Here, here, here, here… here, here, here, here, here, here, oh and here, here, here, here… then initial here, here, here, here—"
The girl scowled slightly and grabbed the pen, beginning the lengthy process of signing the name 'Alexis J. Alexandrov' multiple times, rolling her eyes and tossing the pen at Chris when she was finished, earning a glare from the host.
Note to Chris— make her life miserable x 2 on the Island.
Chris paused to take a sip at his latte, shutting his eyes for a moment in order to take a quick breather and relax. When he opened them he was face to face with a rather plump, dark-skinned girl who donned a gorgeous headscarf. She stared at Chris for quite awhile, making the host shrink back in his chair and give the girl a weirded out expression.
"What… are… you doing?"
"Getting a read on you. I want to make sure I can mentally accommodate for your aura once we're on the island; balance out your negativity with positivity and whatnot."
Chris scowled at that, instantly knowing who she was; he remembered her audition tape. "That's great, Lucinda. However, we are getting near the end of our session and we need to speed things along, so—" Chris shoved the thick stack of papers at her with a pen. "—choppity chop."
Ushering her along, Chris checked his watch and sighed in relief when he realized he only had one contestant left to register. Thank God. His latte was now only moderately hot and this was incredibly depressing for the man.
Golden curls bounce behind the tanned girl and she giggled upon seeing the tired expression on Chris' face, to the host's annoyance. There was pep in this girl's step as she grabbed a nearby pen and accepted her contract, beginning to write her signature, which was 'Brooklyn Hart.'
"It must make you feel old, huh? Seeing all of these fresh, young faces never age while the clock only seems to be speeding up for you?"
"Wrong." Chris retorted, narrowing his eyes at her. "Double wrong! I am not even going to address how wrong that was, because it was just wrong. Now scram."
Frowning, Brooklyn quickly finished signing everything and scampered off. She hadn't intended to get on Chris' bad side— not at all.
Rubbing a hand down his face, the host let out a long sigh. "Phew! That was some hard work, right guys?" He glanced over at his production staff that was much more physically involved in the work, keeping some fans at bay as they continued striking the set. Chris simply received some grunts in response, making him grin. Oh how he loved how they did all the grunt work, and how he got all the glory. That's just what happens when you're gorgeous.
It comes with perks.
Once everything was packed up, Chris' cellphone began to ring. After a quick glance down he saw that it was the network and he grinned.
"Chris McLean, here."
"We've finished drafting up the season, Chris."
"Really? Great."
"We've got some great stuff in there, McLean. It's gonna be your kind of fun."
"Will it, now?" A slow, evil grin spread across the man's lips. "Great. I'll see you guys… Friday for a debrief?"
"We'll see you Friday."
The host shoved his phone back into his back pocket, sliding his sunglasses back down over his eyes. The lighting in the mall glinted off of his perfect row of teeth, adding a certain dramatic flair that could only be trademarked to none other than Chris McLean.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous…
Thank you ALL for your wonderful submissions. Choosing a cast for this was very, VERY difficult because of the sheer amount of applications I received.
I anticipated around 20-30.
I received close to 60.
That was a very flattering, very awesome surprise and I can't say how difficult it was to pick a cast, and I hope that even if your character didn't make cut that you'll stick around and read the story anyway :) It'd mean a lot to me!
The entire season has been thoroughly plotted out and I hope to make this as entertaining and true to Total Drama as I can. The first, official chapter will probably take a little while longer to write, but I certainly hope to queue up a couple days so that the wait won't be too agonizing.
See you all soon! I will also be posting polls, promo stuff and whatnot on my profile and the official blog I have created for this fanfiction. I will provide you with the link if you desire it.
-Alexex
TOTAL DRAMA REPRISE: OFFICIAL CAST
Jeremy Stevens- The Closeted Fanboy: Me
Tamara Paulsen- The Naïve One: SMOSHbuscus girl
Frank "Frankie" Mattews- The Mean Gay: freakazoid123
Tayana Corinne- The Perky Athlete: DaRk AnGeL oF sOrRoW rEtUrNs
Razor Dingo Slinger- The Dependable Celebrity: PersonalitySoup
Miles- The One with the Prosthetic Arm: LacedUp
Judas Mammon- The Fox in the Hen House: Obsidios
Charlotte- The Quiet Heckler: Kirbyfan11
Steve Wilder- The Gaming Musician: RoyalShowstopperXIII
Angel- The Manipulative Back-stabber: EvilAngel666
Maverick Dongwu- The Naturalist: VBeast
Alexis J. Alexandrov- The Intelligent Foreigner: Hoodie Goddess
Lucinda van Mons- The Medium: Shadowed Theatre
Brooklyn Hart- The Head Cheerleader: babydon'tletmefall
