Disclaimer: I don't own Community. If I did, Special Agent Annie Edison of the FBI would be assigned to the task force hunting down Hannibal Lecter and would be pursuing him with righteous fury (I don't own "Hannibal" either, but if I did this crossover would so be happening).

Chapter 2 - Chivalry for Beginners

Week 3

Jeff Winger doesn't care about anyone, or anything. Well, that's not quite true - at the moment, he cares quite a lot about getting into Britta's pants - but serious stuff? No. And there's no point pointing it out to him, he's not only aware of this, but proud of it - he did not survive a miserable childhood of abandonment and bullying only to ruthlessly reinvent himself as the coolest man in Greendale - no, Colorado - by caring. Even Jeff Winger has red lines however, and one of them is anything that brings back memories of the childhood he was so glad to escape. Such as bullies. Which is why he is watching the scene unfolding at the other end of the cafeteria with mounting distaste.

Jeff had been idly sitting alone at his table watching the girls go by while he drank his skinny cappuccino when he heard a shrill cry of "watch where you're going, nerd!" followed by a crashing noise. Jeff looked up to see a vaguely familiar dark haired girl in a bright cardigan on her hands and knees desperately trying to gather up a scattered array of books, notes and stationery before the remains of her ruined lunch soaked into them and damaged them beyond repair. All the while a trio of beautiful-on-the-outside types shoved her and laughed as they did it.

Jeff threw the last of his coffee down his throat and strolled across the cafeteria using the walk which he knew perfectly well would have every female under the age of ninety within fifty yards looking at his hips. As he closed in on the group, he flashed up his best come-to-bed-with-me-right-now grin.

"Hello, ladies."

They turned to face him, the target of their mockery forgotten. They instantly threw up their own smiles, one even flicked her hair.

"I see you've met my friend" - he saw a name written in big, glittery letters on the side of a binder - "Annie." He extended a hand to the girl, who, after a moment's hesitation, took it and allowed him to pull her to her feet.

"She's your friend?" The presumed ringleader said in disbelief.

"Oh yes," Jeff said."Let me tell you something about Annie." The girls uneasily noticed that Jeff's smile had changed from seductive to something more like the last thing a particularly succulent tuna would see on the face of a Great White.

"Annie is ferociously smart, a disciplined and driven worker who is always there for her friends and who has survived a horrible childhood and is putting herself through this toilet to get the start she needs to build a real life for herself. You ladies on the other hand" - Jeff was now focussing all his attention on the ringleader - "were queen bitches in high school and are queen bitches here. In Greendale.

"Congratulations, ladies - this is the high point of your lives. Make the most of it - you will shortly go into the real world, where nobody gives a damn about who was the biggest bitch in high school. In ten years time, Annie will be running a government department or a major corporation while each of you will be struggling to bring up three kids on the irregular maintenance payments you get from three different deadbeat dads and your tips from pole dancing. Walk with me, milady." He offered his arm to a now awestruck Annie who took it and allowed Jeff to lead her away from the now shell-shocked and speechless trio.

Jeff casually walked Annie back to his table through a cafeteria that had gone dead quiet while listening to his takedown.

"They're all looking at us!" Annie whispered.

"No kid, they're looking at me." Jeff replied with a cocky grin on his face.

Jeff sat her down at the table. "Don't move, I'll be back in a couple of minutes." Annie sat stock still, painfully conscious of all the eyes on her. True to his word, Jeff was back shortly after. He slid a chicken sandwich across the table - "I know it's not much of a lunch, but it's pretty much all they've got left." And a takeaway cup of coffee - "you look like a skinny latte sort of girl." She wasn't, but she wasn't going to argue with her benefactor either. Jeff relaxed into his seat with his arm thrown casually across the back, as though he was modelling the shirt he was wearing and watched Annie eat with a lazy smile on his face. God, but you're vain. She thought to herself. Granted, you've got a lot to be vain about - stop that, Annie! To distract herself, she asked the question she been puzzling over since the confrontation.

"How come you know so much about me? We've never so much as talked."

"I don't." Annie's expression said all that was needed about what she thought about that answer.

"You seem like a smart girl, so think carefully about what I said - was there anything there that solely and specifically applied to you, or do you think that something like ninety percent of the people at Greendale would recognise it? Difficult background, working hard to put their lives back on track, loyal to their friends…"

"Oh." Said Annie. "Ninety per cent?"

"You are a smart girl." Jeff said approvingly. "Here's the thing - I'm a lawyer, and a damn good one. A big part of my job is taking obvious and trivial truths and making them sound like the wisdom of the ages - another is taking wild-ass guesses and flat-out lies and convincing you they're the truth because you want to believe me so much."

"Do you know anything at all about me?" Said Annie, turning her ring binder over so that the top cover was facing the table. "How about my name?"

Jeff's eyes flicked over, saw what she'd done with the binder. Damn, this kid really is smart. Desperately, he reached into the dregs of his memory and recalled the earlier conversation.

"Erm, Annie?"

"Well done. Annie what?"

"Warbucks?"

Annie rolled her eyes at the feeble joke. "We're in Spanish class together, you know."

She saw puzzlement on Jeff's face, then saw it suddenly clear as realisation dawned. "You're the girl who normally sits in the middle of the front row and who is always first to answer a question even though it drives Chang nuts. Granted, that's not a long journey." Despite herself, Annie smiled at the joke.

"Sorry for not recognising you earlier, but in my defence I do sit about three rows behind you so I don't get a good look at your face, which is entirely my loss. You do have really pretty hair, though." And as easily as that, Annie was blushing again and Jeff had taken back control of the conversation.

"So then - Annie what?"

"Edison, as in the light bulb."

"I bet you hear that joke a lot." She nodded, grimly.

"Well, after all that it's only fair I tell you who I am - "

"You're Jeff Winger, you're in your early thirties and you put together the most dysfunctional study group in the world in order to sleep with a blonde hippy. What I don't get is why a self-proclaimed 'damn good lawyer' is a student at Greendale." And as easily as that, Annie had taken back control.

Jeff was temporarily speechless. This kid isn't just smart, she's scary. He decided to tell her the abridged version of the truth.

"There were some accreditation problems with my bachelor's degree. Nobody spotted the issue until I cleared law school and spent several years as the best defence lawyer in Colorado, but then the Bar suspended my law licence until I re-sat my degree. That's why I'm at Greendale."

"Oh, that sucks." She said, with a genuine expression of sadness on her face.

"That's life." Said Jeff. He looked at his watch. "Speaking of studying, but I've got about five minutes to get to my next class." He eased himself out of his seat and picked up his bag, uncharacteristically for him he hesitated for a moment.

"Look, next time you come in here - or anywhere really - if you see me sitting on my own come over and sit with me. The bullies will steer clear of you if they see you're with Jeff Winger."

"Thanks Jeff, but I can look after myself. I don't need a knight in shining armour."

"How about a friend?" Where the hell did that come from, Winger?

The young woman's face lit up in the most radiant smile. Damn, that's where. "A friend would be nice. Really nice. See you next time Jeff."

"See you next time, Edison." Jeff smiled one last time, turned around and walked out the cafeteria. It took all his willpower not to look back, and he was sure he felt Annie's eyes on him all the way out.

"Winger's got a girlfriend!"

"Shut up, Leonard! I know all about your weekends as Leonora."

"Hey, double the fun."

XXXXXXX

(The next day, Student Lounge)

Annie had hoped to catch Jeff on his own here, what she had not expected was the way her heart fell slightly when she saw him in the corner of the lounge talking to a tall, leggy redhead who was clearly enjoying the experience. Annie watched the redhead flick her hair in that way a certain sort of girl did to show a guy she was interested and write something down on a post it note - that'll be her phone number, Annie thought - before slowly walking away with Jeff openly looking at her ass as she went.

Annie tried to fight down the sense of disappointment she felt. It's not cheating - he never talked about anything more than being friends with ME after all. She said to herself.

"Hiya, Edison." Jeff said, snapping her out of her reverie and clearly not caring in the slightest if she'd noticed what had gone down with the redhead. She hadn't noticed him walk across the room.

"Oh, hi Jeff!" Annie replied, as though she'd just noticed him. The rather brittle smile on her face gave the game away somewhat though. "Look, do you have a couple of minutes?"

"For you? Always." Jeff was wearing his ye-gods-but-I'm-gorgeous smile again as he took hold of Annie's elbow and steered her to an empty table.

"What can I do for you?" He said as they took their seats.

"I wanted to give you something to say thank you again for yesterday."

Jeff was about to say she didn't need to when Annie slid a large envelope across the table.

He raised his eyebrows in some curiosity as he opened the envelope.

"They're my notes from Spanish class, I thought they might help."

Jeff started to flick through them just to humour Annie, but he had read enough legal briefs to quickly tell the difference between worthless verbiage and a well written document that conveyed the maximum of information with the maximum of clarity in the minimum amount of space and Annie's notes definitely fell in the latter category. He let out a low whistle of appreciation.

"These are good, Annie - really good."

"Thanks Jeff," Annie was sitting up now, with a genuine smile on her face.

"What's this?" Jeff had worked his way to the bottom of the pile of notes.

"Oh, that's my weekly schedule - my free periods are outlined in green. If you want to talk about future classes try and catch me during one of those, see you around." Annie had been talking very quickly towards the end, and jumped out of her seat and basically ran away before Jeff could hand back the schedule.

"I see your value now, Edison." Was the last thing she heard him say as she departed. It gave her a warm glow for some reason.

Why hasn't anybody snapped up that girl for a study partner already? Jeff thought to himself. Then he looked more closely at the schedule, and saw how the entire day from 7AM to 6PM had been divided up into 15 minute boxes, with every box accounted for - including toilet breaks, mealtime and "free" time. Oh, that's why. Sheesh Edison - learn to live a little. Still, free notes...