Okay, so, heh, did not expect this to be a chaptered fic. I totally got Petra's story idea in my head and I jotted it down. But then I kept thinking of other characters and what they were dedicated to. So, here we go. Another person, another conversation. Hope you like it!
Strength of a Thousand Men
They told him, with much nervousness, that they would need some time to prepare his room. He did not mind waiting, and told them so, but that did not seem to assuage them. He had surprised everyone by recovering faster than expected, so the room that was usually reserved for him was given to someone else. He tried telling them not to bother evicting a person who probably needed the room more but no one was listening. It was a novel experience for him, since he had been a commanding presence for years now. He did not like it. Where was Levi when you needed him?
The doors of the common ward burst open and a young girl was wheeled in. This was probably the person they were moving for him. Then he started; he had recognised her. It was the girl with the strength of a thousand men -Mikasa Ackerman.
He watched them without seeming to from his end of the ward as they settled her on an empty cot with her back to him. The nurses -there were three -were slowly and carefully unwinding a long stream of bandage from the girl's torso. The bandages did not seem soiled or bloody, so he deduced her ribs were broken. For her part, Mikasa did not flinch or twitch in any way, and remained unnaturally still.
When they were done, they wrapped and buckled a thick, pliant, leather belt that covered her entire torso. It was a recent aid for injured ribs and reduced the time a patient had to stay in hospital and minimized the amount of bandage used.
When he saw the nurses were winding up their procedure, he made a sudden decision.
"Wheel me over," he said briskly to his attendant. The man complied immediately. He breathed a sigh of relief, someone was listening to him, at any rate. The nurses balked and saluted hastily when he approached. "Commander!"
"At ease," Erwin nodded.
Mikasa turned around –far too quickly for someone in her condition. And yet she did not utter a murmur of pain. Her gaze was vacant, possibly the effect of the anesthetic, but then, the girl always had a stoic expression on her face.
"Commander," she said softly.
"I do not expect you to salute, soldier." He turned to the nurses. "Are you done here?"
"Y –yes!"
"Then you may leave." He gestured to his attendant, who understood and followed the nurses, but stayed in the other end of the ward. When no one was within hearing distance, Erwin turned back to the girl.
"I believe you were moved out of your room to make way for me. I hope that did not inconvenience you?"
"Of course not, Commander," said she, polite and cold as always. "I am being discharged anyway."
"Your ribs have healed, then?"
"More or less."
"Good."
Mikasa did not respond, nor did she make an effort to introduce some other subject. It was not rude, Erwin decided, there was a certain amount of deference in the silence that was due to his position as her commanding officer. He felt his respect for the girl rise.
"I have never had the chance to talk to you directly, Ackerman."
"We have," she said simply. "When we were discussing Annie Leonhart."
"True," Erwin conceded. "But I meant a discussion other than a mission briefing. I have spoken to Eren and Armin Arlert, but not with you."
"Oh." She looked at her hands in her lap. "Yes."
Not one for small talk, then. Excellent.
"Let me come to the point. I have some questions that I believe are pertinent to my role as your chief commanding officer. You do not have to answer them, but I would prefer it if you did."
"I will try my best to answer any and all questions the Commander puts forth."
Not one to commit rashly, either. His estimation of her rose higher.
"Good. Now, then. Can you tell me how you broke your ribs?"
She seemed a little surprised at the question. She turned her cool grey eyes to him as if to make sure he was serious, then explained clearly, succinctly, exactly what had happened.
"I see." He remained quiet for several moments.
"It was stupid," Mikasa said, breaking the silence. "I made a stupid move. I made many stupid moves on that day." Erwin simply watched her. "If I had been more careful, I could have helped more in the effort. Prevented many more lives from being lost."
He did not assuage her. "I'm glad you understand that."
Her eyes flashed, they seemed to say, how stupid do you think I am?
He smiled. "I truly am glad. You are important to mankind's survival, Mikasa, and I hope you won't make a similar mistake in the future."
Instead of a firm "Yes, sir!" that he was expecting, Mikasa Ackerman simply pursed her lips tight. Then she mumbled, "I can make no promises."
His surprise must've shown on his face because she burst into explanation, more animated than he had seen her. "Eren is a prime target of many dangerous people. He's a member of the Survey Corps. His life is in constant peril. I… I cannot promise to not act when Eren is in danger."
The change in her countenance was so drastic that Erwin had to reconstruct his argument. He had miscalculated –this girl was neither calm nor detached, she had a veritable storm of emotions brimming just under the surface. He understood now the bond between her and her two childhood friends, each of them burning in their own blaze of purpose.
"You are right." He said cautiously, "Eren is in constant danger. Even now, as we all recuperate and mourn our dead." That elicited a twitch in her hands, and he wondered if there was a specific life she regretted not being able to save. "For that very reason we must be smart –we have to be clever in our decisions so that we can save him, in the long run."
Mikasa remained silent. His words had clearly not reached her.
"You saw me in the battle," he told her, using his trump card. "You saw what I did. I cut him free from the enemy myself so you could catch him. I sacrificed countless lives and my own limb to make sure Eren was safe. You cannot doubt my intentions."
It took a moment for her to realize that she was expected to answer.
"I do not doubt it."
"Good," he said. "You have also dedicated, as I have, as everyone else in the Survey Corps has, your heart and your life to humanity."
"I have." Her voice was emotionless again but he could still see the fire in her eyes.
"Then do you understand what I ask of you, what I may ask of you in the future? If Eren is in danger, and it makes immediate sense to retreat, will you obey? Knowing that I will not rest until we have assured his safety once more?"
The pause that followed was the longest. Her face was hidden from him by her hair, and her hands clenched and unclenched themselves twice, thrice.
"I will."
"And if," he said carefully, "if Eren does die, will you continue to serve humanity to the best of your abilities?"
This time her hands remained curled into fists. "If Eren… dies, his cause will be my only one." She finally looked at him, and her eyes made the hairs on the back of his neck rise. "I have dedicated my life to protecting Eren, and through him, his reason to fight. They killed my family too. You have nothing to worry about, Commander. I will serve humanity until my dying breath."
His attendant called out from the far end of the room. "Sir? Your room is ready."
He motioned for the attendant to approach with his remaining hand. "Thank you, soldier."
Mikasa Ackerman bowed her head. "It is nothing."
He understood. It really meant nothing to her, this unusual dedication for Eren Jaegar. She really thought nothing of it. It was just a fact of her very existence, like breathing, perhaps.
They looked at each other for one long moment. Erwin felt as if he were looking in a mirror. It was unsettling.
The attendant reached them, his hands were soon clasping the handles of the wheelchair.
"Take me away," Erwin said abruptly.
Ye-eah I hope I'm not the only one who is creeped out by Mikasa's devotion to Eren. Be it platonic or romantic, there is a fine line between love and obsession, and I feel like Mikasa has crossed it a bunch of times. Anywho, I liked the idea of Erwin being creeped out by something, or rather someone, when it's usually him that people are creeped out by. This is probably my fic with the least amount of italics, since they're both so un-dramatic!
I hope the story was satisfying. Do review and let me know what you think!
