Thanks so much for all the reviews! I've been super busy and haven't had a chance to reply but I promise I will. This story doesn't have any overall direction or bent; it's just a fun romp, and so I'm just seeing where it takes me. Let me know what you think!
"How do I look?" Sarah asked, several hours later, zipping her feet into her strappiest shoes as she tripped down the hall. She and Chuck went on plenty of missions, with plenty of opportunities to dress up, but it was the first night in a long time that she was going out. Carina, in charge as always, had decreed that they were going to go to a too-trendy lounge, where their legs and low-cut dresses would be enough to get them in, and they would drink $30 Long Island Iced Teas and dance and shoot schmucks down. Sarah had rolled her eyes — non-work-related "dates" with Chuck these days usually involved the couch, Chinese takeout, and wine or a yuppie couple's adventure with Ellie and Devon — but she was pretty damn excited to do a girls' night Carina-style again.
Chuck, on the couch with Charade on the big screen, turned to see what she'd chosen to wear. She shivered under his gaze. There was something in the way that Chuck could just … appreciate the way she looked in a dress. It wasn't objectifying, wasn't leering, wasn't moony, wasn't pathetic … it was just appreciative. It was nice. And, every time he gave her the once-over, it made her feel like they were still new.
"You look great," he finally said.
She smiled. "Charade, huh? Trying to tempt me to stay in?"
He laughed. "It just arrived from Netflix. I promise we can watch it again tomorrow."
"Good," she grinned, picking up her purse. "We shouldn't be out too late."
"No, stay out," he said, rising and moving to her. "Work's been crazy and when it's not work we're at a vineyard or antiquing or some other activity that Carina's going to mock." He fingered the emerald strap of her dress. "Is this new?"
"No, and you've seen it before, too," she smacked him lightly with the purse before kissing him. "Just for future reference, I kind of enjoy the farmer's market scene." Three years ago, she would have never, ever imagined herself saying something like that but it was true.
"Have you tried the peaches that Awesome dropped off this morning yet? Delicious," he murmured, running his fingers down her arm before linking their hands.
"Oh, really? Maybe we'll use them tomorrow for brunch," she leaned in for a kiss, deepening it immediately.
They were interrupted quickly, though, by Carina coming down the hallway — she'd insisted on getting ready with Sarah instead of staying put at Casey's. "Let's go, Walker," she said firmly. "First you banish me to John's and now you're trying to make me late."
Laughing a little, Chuck rested his forehead on hers. "Yeah, Sarah, you're making Carina late."
Before she could retort, Carina clapped her hands, once, twice. Laughing more, Sarah kissed Chuck once more before releasing him. Carina grabbed her hand, and Sarah waved flirtatiously to Chuck as her friend manhandled her out the door. Carina pushed Sarah toward the curb and an idling taxi, and the fact that her friend had actually called a taxi ahead of time so that Sarah would truly leave made Sarah laugh harder.
She finally quieted down a few minutes later, as they were in the car. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I may have been trying to irritate you, just a little."
"So the sucker-in-love thing was just an act then?" Carina said skeptically. "Sarah, even you're not that good."
"Well, no," she admitted. "That's … not an act at all."
"Well, I'm glad to see you happy again at least," Carina said. "I hadn't seen you actually smile since Bryce died."
At Carina's blunt, unexpected honesty, she looked down, suddenly mildly embarrassed. She shrugged. "He's good for me."
They arrived at Les Deux twenty minutes later, and quickly found an empty chaise in the courtyard. "So you're just here through the end of the mission?" Sarah asked, her voice slightly raised over the din of the music.
Carina smiled triumphantly. "Ah-ha! I knew you were bored."
"I'm not bored," Sarah insisted. "But I miss you. Where have you been, what have you been doing?"
"Well, there was Thailand, before that, Indonesia, Brazil … but mostly Asia for the last year, really. Next mission is unfortunately in Bali, not sure how I'm going to tolerate that." She laughed and waggled her eyebrows.
Of course, it wasn't long before men started sending drinks their way. They all did a little touch-the-head wave as they did it, forcing her to make eye contact. Sarah accepted them with a hint of guilty resignation, which Carina noticed immediately. "Relax, Walker, accepting a drink doesn't count as cheating," she ordered. "So, you. You really just stay here permanently, and you're what? A glorified analyst who can kick anyone's ass?" Carina's half-sexpot-half-airhead façade — which so few people ever realized was actually just a persona — was completely gone, replaced by her shrewd, tough-as-nails, I-double-majored-in-chemistry-and-Russian-at-Harvard-and-like-to-kick-ass voice.
"We're just based here. We do a lot of field work," Sarah defended. "I've been to Buenos Aires, Iceland, and Riyadh this month. Plus we're doing some longer-range stuff — we're probably adding a few agents permanently here. I'll kind of … direct things, with all of them." They were quietly mining Mr. Bartowski's old files as well, which was excellent.
"And you're happy?" Carina pressed. "Not just happy-with-Chuck happy, but happy? You never wanted this — the settling down. I find it disgusting, personally — especially because you're both just two saps — but you never mentioned wanting this. Ever, Sarah. And Chucky looks like he's two seconds away from proposing, and you look like you're three seconds away from saying yes."
"Nobody's proposing to anybody," Sarah protested weakly, though it had been weighing pretty heavily on both their minds since Costa Gravas. She meant what she'd told his sleeping form, too: If he asked, she'd say yes. She couldn't quite actually picture herself doing the white-dress whole-life thing, but if she was going to do it with anyone it was going to be him.
"Yet," Carina said. Grabbing Sarah's arm so she knew her friend is paying attention, she says, "Look, that's great and you two are cute and all. But someone needs to ask you if you want this or if it's just comfortable, and then someone needs to ask if you're out of your mind because you know the risks and what you both could lose." Carina's eyes widened imploringly as she studied Sarah. "You know how badly this could end — probably will end. You're a realist, Walker. Be a realist. I'm not worried because you're in love — but because you know better than this."
"Maybe, but I'm not an adrenaline junkie," she said. "I … like the excitement and I love the feeling of a mission gone right and being the best, but I don't crave the life-or-death stakes," she paused. "I'm a great agent because I'm a perfectionist. You're a great agent because you're not afraid. I don't need that aspect of the job to love it like you do."
"That was perceptive," Carina said after a beat. "True, though. You always were such a rules-follower," she smiled.
"Just because I didn't sleep with a TA to get out of lab doesn't make me a rules-follower," she laughed. "Listen. I know I … broke your cardinal rule of spying. I … know that it limits me as a field agent. I know that a million bad things could happen to either of us, and that scares me so much that some nights I can't sleep. But Chuck … makes me less afraid. I can't explain it, but he makes me want to be a better person, and I think that translates to being a better agent."
Carina studied her for a second. "Better make you a better agent," she said, knocking back a shot. "Because if you die, Walker, I will bring you back just to kill you again."
Sarah laughed and smiled at Carina. Although Carina didn't want to admit it, the redhead had mellowed and grown up a little, too. They'd had a rocky few years — Chuck's first meeting with Carina had been at the bottom of that particular low point — but they'd both moved past it, and it felt good to be back in sync with her best friend. There was too much history there for them not to get along. Carina had been her first partner, even before Bryce, and teaming up against the perils of college (such a foreign and unfriendly environment for anyone, especially two young women prohibited from forming those glorified lifelong, profound friendships).
"Now," Carina said, arranging her shot glasses neatly in front of her. "Let's go get more losers to buy us drinks. Next time I blow through this desert wasteland, you'll have some big gaudy diamond on your finger, making it officially impossible to have any fun out."
Rolling her eyes, Sarah grinned and followed Carina back toward the bar.
