Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuugata
The Evening of Suzumiya Haruhi
Disclaimer: Many thanks to Tanigawa Nagaru-sensei for providing these wonderful characters! (And his writing style!)
A quiet November evening, Tuesday, 5:20 pm. I'm at Haruhi's front gate, and I still cannot believe I'm actually going through with this idea. Taking her out to dinner, I mean. Five days ago, she "forced" me to take her out to dinner, and I theatrically caved in.
They say women are confusing, but I'm just plain confused. What, exactly, made me say yes? Maybe if I'd been hooked up to an MRI or an EEG at the time, some scientist could've figured it out for me. But that didn't happen, so I'm not going to waste my time worrying about it.
On the one hand, I consider myself quite fortunate to be the only guy in years who's gotten this close to Haruhi, and on the other hand...this is Haruhi. Need I say more?
But, just to provide some sense of continuity, let's jump back to the beginning.
flashback to yesterday after school
10 November, Monday, SOS-dan room. Haruhi hadn't arrived yet, but the rest of us had. If the rest of us have to treat the others as a penalty for being last, then why doesn't Haruhi fix up some snacks for us or something, since she's always arriving last at her own club?
By this point, we all knew that Haruhi was serious about our "dinner date" (as Koizumi called it) and that I was really going through with it. Since Haruhi hadn't arrived yet, I took the opportunity to ask the others what they thought of this whole situation.
"Asahina-san?"
"Yes, Kyon-kun?"
"Considering your...ah, 'experience'...with Haruhi, do you think I should say or do anything special, anything I wouldn't normally think of?"
I didn't even ask Asahina-san how this date was going to turn out, since that's in the future and she would just say "classified information".
Asahina-san tipped her head to the side a little bit. Damn that's cute.
"Kyon-kun, are you trying to ask for a girl's perspective?"
"...well, when you put it that way, yes."
"Ohh, that's so romantic. Hmm, let's see..."
Asahina-san stared off into space for a moment, probably trying to figure out how much she could tell me without accidentally messing up the future. It's like when a friend knowing the situation gives you some advice that just "happens" to be correct.
"Normally, girls appreciate a tasteful bouquet of flowers, even on the first date, but somehow, Suzumiya-san doesn't seem like the type of girl who would care about flowers."
That's true, but Haruhi is a girl, crazy or not, so I'm sure she would appreciate some sort of kind gesture.
"Flowers, huh?"
"Oh, and Kyon-kun?"
"Yes?"
"What great things would you attempt, if you knew you could not fail?"
Huh? It's unusual for Asahina-san (small) to suddenly talk like a fortune cookie, although I would expect no less from Asahina-san (big). When did—or rather, when will—Asahina-san begin talking so differently, and what will bring on such a change?
Anyway, this must have been Asahina-san's way of offering encouragement, letting me know that Haruhi and I would be fine.
"Begin...the rest is easy."
"I'll remember that. Thank you, Asahina-san."
"My pleasure, Kyon-kun."
Next up, Koizumi. I'd rather talk to Nagato-san, but given the sort of explanations that she seems to prefer, I decided to save her for last.
"As you know, my mission as a high-school-student-cum-esper is to ensure the stability of Suzumiya-san by acceding to her demands, and keeping her in a good mood."
"Right, but we've been over this already. What would you suggest for tomorrow night?"
"Just be yourself. Pretend she's a normal human being, and the rest...should follow naturally."
He punctuated this last part with his usual enigmatic smile. I didn't ask him how he would treat Haruhi if he were to date her.
Pretend she's a normal human being...don't I already do that?
No—a small voice in my head reminded me—you don't, and you like that.
"Well, thanks for the advice."
"Anytime."
As I approached Nagato-san, I was simultaneously prepared for bursts of monosyllables or streaming vocabulary-enriched labyrinths.
"Nagato-san?"
She looked up at me (she was reading Kawabata Yasunari's "Snow Country") with her grey unblinking eyes.
"Can I ask you something?"
"...bookshelves."
She got up and began walking towards the bookshelves, not really aiming for any book in particular. It wasn't until she turned a corner and I lost sight of her that I got the message: follow her among the bookshelves, for privacy.
As expected, when I caught up to her, she was already seated cross-legged on a long table in the far corner of the Literature Club room. I knew where we were, of course, but it was far enough away that it felt like we were in a different room.
I got on the table and sat cross-legged as well.
"Nagato-san?"
"Yes?"
"You know I'm taking Haruhi out to dinner tomorrow night, right?"
"Yes."
"I know you're not human, but you've spent a lot of time observing Haruhi, so...do you have any advice for me?"
Nagato-san gazed into my eyes. I swear I saw myself reflected in one eye, and Haruhi reflected in the other eye. Just when I was about to flinch from the prolonged eye contact, she spoke.
"...stability."
"What do you mean?"
That one question opened the floodgates, and Nagato-san unleashed a torrent of words.
"You already know that the Data Integration Thought Entity is split into several factions. For the most part, these factions have united into two main 'parties'. One party desires minimal contact with Suzumiya-san, due to the high risk of another data explosion."
"But isn't that what you want, a data explosion?"
"Due to the volatility of data explosions, as well as the unpredictability of the data thus generated, triggering such a data explosion is ill-advised. However, the other party wishes to do exactly that, arguing that any data is better than no data."
"If the data is 'bad', let's say, does that mean you could get a virus or something, like our computers?"
"It is possible."
Hmm...well, I care and all, but how does this apply to tomorrow's dinner date?
"Because, for reasons only she can understand, Suzumiya-san has chosen you. Therefore, it is your duty to take care of her, trusting that she will take care of you in return. You already know that countless sentient beings, both living and nonliving, depend on Suzumiya-san in order to maintain our existence."
"So you're saying 'keep her happy and don't rock the boat', correct?"
"Correct."
"Thank you, Nagato-san."
She nodded.
"Wait...one more question."
"Yes?"
"Nagato-san, you mentioned that there are two parties in your world...which side are you on?"
"Of the two parties, there are five hundred fifty-five members in the first party, and five hundred fifty-five members in the second party."
"A deadlock...but what's your position?"
"Independent."
Can a being like her really have independence, or want it?
"Any other independents?"
"No."
I hadn't expected that sort of answer. Nagato-san, the odd one out among her own kind. Does Nagato-san have any sort of preprogrammed emotions? And if so, does she ever get lonely?
"OK, I'll do my best to keep Haruhi happy."
"Thank you."
I do believe that's the first time I'd ever heard Nagato-san say "thank you". Probably the first time she ever needed to say it.
She slid effortlessly off the table and walked away.
flashback five hours before the present
I was standing in a flower shop, having apparently decided that I would buy something for Haruhi after all. She is important to me, after all, even though there are times when I can barely stand her. This was not one of those times.
Unfortunately, I don't know the first thing about flowers, and the old woman behind the counter was staring at me in a way that was making me squirm inside.
While I was walking around the shop, a display caught my eye and Asahina-san's words came back to me.
"What great things would you attempt, if you knew you could not fail?"
If I knew I could not fail...
The display was...beckoning me, almost.
Is Haruhi worth the attempt? She's so unpredictable that I had no idea how she would react if she saw me standing at her front gate with this. She's so unpredictable that no matter what happened, I had nothing to lose, right?
If I knew I could not fail...
"All right, it's decided. She's worth the attempt."
back to the present
I'm at Haruhi's house. Her address and the directions to her house are right here on this piece of notebook paper in my pocket. She made me memorize the instructions and repeat them to her out loud, "in case the paper goes missing". She even threatened to write...stuff...on me with that body paint if I messed up.
Her house is in a relatively nice neighborhood, not too far from my own house. However, I'm not familiar with this neighborhood, and I'll admit that I had to retrace my steps once or twice before arriving here. At least Haruhi didn't set a time for me to arrive, simply contenting herself with "Tuesday evening". Which is now.
Haruhi's front gate is before me, the word SUZUMIYA written on the nameplate in plain script. All I have to do is reach out with my free hand and push the intercom button.
No need to be nervous, we've known each other for several months now.
I push the button.
"Suzumiya residence."
The voice is pleasant, but doesn't sound like Haruhi's. Her mom, perhaps?
"My name's Kyon. Haruhi-san invited me here."
I can't believe that I gave that stupid nickname "Kyon" to a complete stranger. I also can't believe that I called Haruhi "Haruhi-san", but hey, politeness is important.
"Ah, yes, Kyon-san. One minute, please."
The intercom switches off, and soon the front door opens. Haruhi's standing there wearing blue jeans and a pale yellow T-shirt with the words "HEY HEY YO" emblazoned on it in bright blue letters.
"Kyon, you're here."
I'm supposed to be here. And I can't help but grin.
Haruhi walks up to the front gate and opens it. When she sees what's in my hand, she takes a step back.
"I can't believe it..."
Haruhi's mouth falls open. Was this a bad idea, buying this for her?
Haruhi regains her usual composure and takes the single long-stemmed flower from my hand, turning it over and over in her hands.
"You know, Kyon, a rose is more traditional at times like this."
"Yeah, but——"
"But nothing. I have no idea how you knew...a morning glory is my favorite flower."
Well, that was an unexpected turn of events. I never would have expected Haruhi to react this way to a simple morning glory. And I certainly never would have expected Haruhi to have a favorite flower, but why am I surprised by that? It's just one more unpredictable thing about her.
"Kyon, I'll be right back. Feel free to wait here in the yard, I won't take long."
"OK."
Haruhi strides confidently back into her house and shuts the door. Soon, she returns to her yard, minus the flower. Hey, what did you do with it?
"Don't worry, Kyon, I simply put your gift in my room, that's all."
Haruhi flashes me her brilliant smile.
"Let's go! The ramen shop is right this way! Down the street, remember?"
We leave Haruhi's house, and once we're on the sidewalk, Haruhi notices something.
"Kyon, where's your ride? If you're picking me up, you don't expect me to walk all the way there, do you?"
"Well, you said it's just down the street, so I didn't bring my bike."
"Then I guess you're just going to have to pick me up."
"I am picking you up."
She points right at me.
"No, Kyon, I mean literally. Carry me on your back, and that's an order from your Brigade Chief! Don't even think about disobeying me!"
Now she's standing in front of me, with her hands on her hips. Her left hand is drumming her fingers against her hip as she impatiently waits for my reaction. I wonder if this is Haruhi's way of flirting. It's worth a shot.
"Like hell I'm gonna do that. I am not going to—anyway, I've got an average build, and I don't think I could hold your weight."
I strain my back just giving my little sister piggyback rides.
"Hold my weight? What's that supposed to mean? Are you calling me heavy?"
"What?! Of course not, it's just——"
"Fine, we'll walk. But I'll remember this!"
Haruhi sticks her tongue out at me and leads the way toward the ramen shop. I quickly catch up with her.
While walking to the ramen shop, people occasionally stop and stare. I'm not sure what's drawing their attention—the fact that Haruhi, the known eccentric, appears to have a date, or the word "SOS-dan" still tattooed on her forearms with last week's body paint. She was right, that is long-lasting body paint. It's still as fresh as if she'd applied it five minutes ago.
"Kyon, what are you staring at?"
"Hm? Oh, nothing."
Later, at the ramen shop, we're at a semi-private booth enjoying tasty bowls of miso soup with ramen noodles and floating chunks of tofu.
"Haruhi, I just thought of something."
"What?"
She lays down her chopsticks. For somebody who gulps down Asahina-san's tea without a second thought, she's got excellent table manners.
"When I came to your house today, I got to the front gate before you. So you came last, and you should be paying for this."
She furrows her brow. I think I've finally outfoxed her!
Or not. She starts laughing.
"Kyon, I was already at my house, and I arrived well before you did. Therefore, you came last, and even if this wasn't a date, you'd still have to pay for it."
Another flash of her tongue. Damn, I really thought I had her that time.
Wait, did she just call this a date? Does that mean what I think it means?!
"What are you muttering about? Anyway, as long as we're talking, I want to share something with you."
"What's that?"
I'm trying to keep my voice neutral, since I have no idea what that "something" is going to be. Still, I'm curious.
Haruhi leans forward slightly.
"I don't think I told you, back at my house, why the morning glory is my favorite flower, did I?"
"No, I don't think you did."
"OK, what do you know about it?"
"Nothing. Most guys don't know that much about flowers."
I suppose not even that wannabe playboy Taniguchi knows any more about flowers than I do, but that's neither here nor there.
"To be honest, Kyon, I'm not an expert on flowers either. But I do know this. It's called the morning glory because it blooms every morning, and the blooms wither and die every evening."
"I didn't know that."
"Don't you see? It's like our proverb 'fall seven times, get up eight'. No matter how many times the flower dies, it never loses hope, and it blooms again and again."
Haruhi's unusually quiet. I haven't heard her this quiet since her sixth-grade memory of the baseball stadium. In that suddenly soft voice, she continues talking.
"I like to think that people can do that too—that no matter how many times we fall, or fail, we can always pick ourselves up and try again. You wouldn't believe how many times I've gotten hurt, frustrated, and just plain pissed about the miserable luck I'm having in my search for the paranormal and the interesting."
If you only knew your luck in that department isn't as bad as you think it is.
"But I like to believe that the morning glory was put on this earth to remind people like me never to give up. That's why it's my favorite flower. I'll never give up."
Wow, that was...amazing.
After this speech, Haruhi stops talking and returns to her bowl, and I do the same. The rest of the meal is spent in companionable silence.
We finish our meal, I pay, and we leave. Outside the ramen shop (it's now twilight) Haruhi lays a calm and purposeful hand on my shoulder from behind.
She's never touched me so gently before. I kind of like not being dragged around, you know.
"Kyon."
I turn around.
"Haruhi?"
She smiles at me. Not her usual brilliant smile, but a warm and radiant smile, that I've only seen a few times in my life.
For some reason, I cherish such a smile.
And then, she speaks.
"Let's go to the park."
