"Wait. Who?"

"Senpai is."

"Is going to be doing what?"

"Dating."

"With who?"

"With me!"

The foxy girl had caught me outside of the Service Club meeting room after Yumiko left. It had only been a week or two and already that mischievous grin had returned to her features and now here she was hitting me full force with that million-watt smile. I gave a deep sigh and folded my arms, what was with this girl anyway? I was starting to wonder if the force of Hayama's rejection had truly melted her brain entirely.

"And what do you possibly stand to gain from that? In the first place, even by approaching me like this where someone might be able to see us might do some awful things for your reputation."

"Senpai you're so naïve when it comes to this game…"

She mirrored my expression, looking extremely exasperated for a moment before her plotting grin returned, raising a finger as she explained matter-of-factly.

"Obviously, as I said I'll have gained plenty of sympathy points from being rejected, but it's nowhere near enough. I said it in the clubroom just a moment ago, right? Things like causing him trouble by confessing to him randomly or just appealing to him by checking."

"That's mostly to do with him being seen with Yukinoshita, right? I don't see how any of that has anything to do with you."

"Up until now Miura-senpai has been keeping everyone at bay by always being around Hayama-senpai. Since he was seen with Yukinoshita-senpai and turned me down though, everyone is starting to wonder just how available he is. I'm sure the misunderstanding with him and Yukinoshita-senpai will clear up on its own, even if no one does anything, but that still leaves the issue of me. There are even a lot of rumors saying that he's getting distant because of what happened between us."

She moved closer to me at this point, beaming with pride. It was clear that she had spent quite some time thinking about this. This girl seriously had nothing but Hayama Hayato on her brain.

"That's where you come in! If we start dating, then it will shift a lot of attention away from that. Even if it's in the completely opposite direction you're already known for being a disgusting loner by pretty much everyone in the school."

Thanks for that…

"The rumors will center around us instead. That would make the rumor of Yukinoshita-senpai and Hayama-senpai dating evaporate practically overnight! Everyone will give me a lot of sympathy but also think that I've moved on or was being kind-hearted, like giving you a chance or something, anyway, it would give me major appeal points! Also, Hayama-senpai would probably get curious and start moving closer to us to investigate, and it would give me the chance to spend time in your classroom, closer to Hayama-senpai, which would create all sorts of openings. At the same time, more people will get to see the sweet and reliable side of you buried under all that gloom, and you'll get to date a cute girl! Everyone wins!"

"Alright, putting aside that back-handed comment and all the blows to my pride, there are just too many issues with this plan of yours. First, if we're pretending to be dating that wouldn't give you any openings at all."

"Ah, about that, all we have to do is stage a breakup after a while."

She said it matter-of-factly, folding her arms behind her back. It was probably my imagination, but for a moment I thought I could see her tense a bit at those words. Despite myself I felt some mild irritation.

Oi, what are you doing getting all upset Hikigaya Hachiman? In the first place, she said it was part of her plan to get closer to Hayama. Of course there would be a 'breakup.'

"Secondly, is it just me or are you trying to drag me into the world of riajuu here? I rather like my loner-lifestyle you know. I don't have to deal with anyone, and I'm free to do all the things I like to, without getting caught up in all the rom-com nonsense that everyone else seems to be dealing with."

"Like I said, it's just a temporary thing… and in the first place I'm sure even senpai is lonely with that kind of lifestyle…"

She added the second part under her breath, so I couldn't hear it.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

"Ah, nothing!"

"Well whatever. Finally, don't you think that this plan relies a whole lot on Hayama having an interest in you? I hate to bring it up but he did reject you."

A twinge of pain. Her beaming face faltered as she deflated, staring at her shoes.

"…I'm sorry, I think I said too—"

"Of course, it does… I said it in the Christmas meeting, remember? I want to move forward. I want something real, and if I don't do anything, nothing will happen. It's scary, you know? My feelings might never be returned, I might just be chasing after something that's not even there. Yeah, it's a gamble but… I need to know if those feelings are there, and if they're real… and this is the only way I know how... this is all I've ever known."

She was wearing that same expression she showed me on the train. Gentle determination. It wasn't the desperate or wild whims of a hurting girl, she had put a lot of thought into this.

"I really hate that you handle things that way."

"I'm sorry… I knew that was the only way you knew how to do things… I'm sorry…"

"Don't do stuff like that again, okay?"

Thoughts from the class trip came rushing back. Could I really let this happen again…? I knew that this method would cause the same issues, and how I really felt back then. I knew what I was running from, and just how much of a liar I was being.

"Isshiki, I—"

"What you said that time…"

Isshiki interrupted me, moving a bit closer to me. She lacked even a shred of that former pride and confidence. She was scared. Truly scared about what would happen next. Why were they all like this? Yumiko and her both, both needing to know despite whatever trouble they ended up causing. Why were they both so desperate for this? Go burn in Hell, Hayama Hayato.

"I know you were just trying to poke fun at me… but for now can I believe it? Can I believe that you'll take responsibility… senpai…?"

Come on now… that's just way too unfair.


"And so, as you can see, I'm dating senpai now!"

God please kill me now…

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, sitting across from us, were shocked into complete silence. Isshiki was clinging to my arm with her usual sunny smile.

"Ah…ahaha, I-Iroha-chan you're not serious, are you? Even as a joke that's a little…"

"Hikigaya-kun, would you care to explain the sorcery you used on Isshiki-san? Such an impressive spell would cause all of the lonely men in Japan to rejoice, but unfortunately I must devise a method to dispel it before it's too late and the Hiki-demic becomes far-too widespread to stop."

"Oi, would you mind not treating me like I'm some sort of plague to humanity?"

"Treating you like a plague? Ah, but Hikigaya-kun I thought that was a well-established fact that was accepted unanimously across the medical field."

"Geez, Yuigahama-senpai, Yukinoshita-senpai you're both so rude. For your information, after senpai came to my rescue several weeks ago, I realized that he's the only one who truly cared about me. After taking such good care of me, what girl's heart wouldn't be moved?"

"H-Hikki… you're not really going out, are you?"

"Like. I. Said. It's the truth, right senpai?"

"Y-yeah…"

I stirred uncomfortably next to Isshiki. I know we were supposed to be pretending to date, but I wasn't used to this at all. She was so close and warm, her breasts were pressing up firmly against my arm, yet she didn't seem to have a care in the world. Irohasu was a formidable foe, she had completely defeated me.

"And because of thaaat, I'll be regularly attending the Service Club meetings from now on whenever I'm not busy with student council duties."

You never have those anyway, you just keep shoving all the work onto the rest of the student council. Also, why did we have to come right back here and tell these two right away?

Just as uncomfortable I was, Yukinoshita and Yuiigahama had fallen silent. For the moment, they looked like they had accepted that Isshiki and I were 'dating.' Still, this kind of situation was probably far too much for them to handle.

"Isshiki, I think— "

"Iroha."

"Huh?"

"It's Iroha, senpai. Geez, what kind of girl would be happy with her boyfriend calling her by her last name? Senpai, I know you're still inexperienced with this but please try to consider your girlfriend's feelings a little."

"Th-then… I-Iroha… I think we're making the mood a little… you know… so for the time being…"

"Ah, you're probably right, senpai."

She said it matter-of-factly before letting go of me and standing up, smoothing out her skirt before moving for the door, a strangely satisfied look on her face when she turned to bow to us.

"I actually have some things to do for the student council today, so I'll be leaving now. Senpai, let's walk home together after the day is out~"

And with that she left.

Hey, what are you thinking leaving me here with those two after all that! Isshiki you traitor!

"Isshiki-san… I underestimated her…"

Yukinoshita said before starting to mumble to herself, looking downcast. Yuigahama put on a very forced smile and laughed.

"C-congratulations Hikki, a girlfriend huh? I never would have expected it."

"I suppose that makes two of us."

I let out an exasperated sigh. My life had just become incredibly complicated. In addition to finding out whether Hayama was going to take liberal arts or science, I now had to deal with Isshiki's request.

Yukinoshita cleared her throat, having finally regained herself.

"Hikigaya-kun, I hope Isshiki-san's presence will not interfere with the activities of the Service Club. I won't tolerate your Hiki-demic causing us trouble."

"Yeah, I understand."

I said simply before moving back to my usual seat on the far end of the table, fishing a light novel out from my bag. I needed something to calm myself down before confronting Hayama after school. I figured the best way would be to just approach him directly. Though in the end the mood never lifted and we all sat in awkward silence with each other for the rest of the day.


"Senpai, what were you talking with Hayama-senpai about?"

"Ah that, well I was trying to ask him about whether he was going into liberal arts or science."

"…geh… senpai don't tell me that you're actually into guys after all this time…"

"Idiot, of course not, it was a request for the Service Club. Normally I wouldn't care in the least about what anyone was picking."

"Hmmm… and so? What did he say?"

"He said some things but ultimately refused to tell me."

"Is that so…"

It was late. By the time I had finished talking with Hayama the sun had almost completely set. Isshiki had been running late with her student council duties. To say that I was surprised that she was putting in a lot of work would be a vast understatement. Apparently, she had been taking her role as student council president much more seriously as of late.

"Anyway, why are we still holding hands? We're pretty far from the school by now, and it's already dark, I don't think we're in any danger of being seen or anything."

"You're probably right, senpai but this is…"

She paused for a moment, I could feel her hand tighten slightly around mine as we continued our walk to the station. It definitely made walking my bike a bit of a pain, but Isshiki absolutely insisted that we hold hands while leaving.

"This is practice! Yeah… practice so that we're able to do it naturally at school. We wouldn't want it to seem unnatural and forced at school, right? So we have to practice. Ah! By the way senpai, which one were you choosing?"

"Between liberal arts and science?"

"Yeah"

"Of course, it's going to be liberal arts. Science has no place in my desire to become a house-husband and spend my days in leisure."

"Thank goodness…"

"What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"Oh nothing! Well then senpai, I'll be heading this way so I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Yeah, see you."


My muscled burned and my veins felt like they were pumping battery acid as I continued to keep pace with our resident all-star ikemen riajuu. While I panted for breath, that bastard seemed to hardly be breaking a sweat. Why was he such a main-character type anyway? Still, despite my labored breathing, I had work to do.

"Was Miura handy for keeping girls away?"

I asked it in the snidest tone I could muster while running at this pace. I could see his face change, settling into irritation as he ran.

"Well? Was she useful?"

"Be quiet for a minute."

He said simply before picking up his pace.

What are you trying to use shunpo(1)?

"Did you pick liberal arts or sciences?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Then let me put it another way. Pick sciences. I don't know which you picked, and I don't really care. But it can still be changed, so change it! That's the only way to meet your condition."

Hayama looked genuinely confused as he ran next to me. It was still pissing me off how his breathing hadn't been affected in the slightest by this absurd running pace. How much stamina did he have?

"Condition?"

"You told me to stop being intrusive, right? In other words, you want to stop being the Hayama Hayato everyone wants!"

He stopped running. I silently thanked him in the back of my mind for the chance to catch my breath and speak normally.

"If you go with sciences, there won't be as many people, and there aren't many girls. You can put distance between you and the problems intruding in your life. Plus, if your choice doesn't match theirs, They'll all accept it and drift away from you. If it ends naturally, nobody gets hurt, and you won't have to betray anyone's expectations."

"I was right. We never could've been friends."

"Huh?"

"I don't like you."

"O-oh…"

"I feel inferior to you, and I can't stand that. I wanted us to be equals, so I could accept losing to you."

I was taken aback by his words. Hayama Hayato, the ultimate riajuu felt inferior to me?

"I heard that you're dating Iroha now."

I faltered at those words, my breath catching in my throat which, unfortunately, due to my exhaustion caused me to go into a coughing fit. I hacked and wheezed.

"It seems like you continue to move farther and farther ahead, both you and her, while I do nothing but stand still. No, we're still not equals. So, I won't do as you say."

He said simply before taking off running again.

As always, you're impossible to read properly, what does that have to do with any of this? In the first place, I thought your goal was to keep everyone away. Maybe he really does have feelings for Isshiki? Why would he say that both of us are pulling ahead of him though? Either way… it seems like he came to a conclusion.

"Sorry for blocking your second consecutive win."

"No, I'll win. That's what I do. Besides, I don't want to lose to you."

He put on a huge burst of speed and began pulling away from me. Did he just suddenly level up? What kind of monster could run like that for that long? I struggled to catch up, but my body wasn't use to moving this fast. I tripped over my own feet and face-planted into the cement. Pain rang out as my knee tore open.

"Damn it… Why is he so cool?!"


I dragged myself over the finish line to the sound of raucous applause. It looks like Hayama ended up winning the race after all. I made my way towards the school. If I didn't treat the wound on my knee it would probably become infected. I made it as far as entrance hall.

"Senpaaaaiiii!" I heard her calling for me. I turned to see Isshiki running to catch up to me.

"Isshi—gah!"

I was met with a hard slap to the back.

"It's Iroha."

"R-right… Iroha, what are you doing here? Hayama's still on the stage right now, isn't he?"

"Ah… haha, I left that to the vice president, but anyway senpai why didn't you come to see me when you finished? I saw you hobbling past everyone from the stage, but if you don't come to visit me after you finish doesn't that destroy the whole—senpai? You're hurt!"

I had turned to face her mid-sentence and she saw the road-rash through my torn jersey pants.

"There you have it…"

I said simply with a shrug. Of course I wasn't going to go and visit anyone when I needed to tend to the injury.

"All the more reason you should have come to me, grabbing a first aid kit from one of the tents would have been faster than going to the nurse's office, right? Just sit right there, I'll be right back."

I watched her small form disappear back towards the big crowd as I sat on the ledge in the entranceway. Despite myself I smiled a little.

Ah, this might be bad. In a way, I do actually feel like I won against that riajuu ikemen. Get yourself together, Hikigaya Hachiman.


(1)Shunpo: A technique prominently featured in the anime Bleach where characters move so fast it appears that they are teleporting.

A/N: I apologize if these first chapters felt somewhat rushed. I needed to get through the currently established set of problems in the scenario before I could move to more original content. There are quite a few things I skipped where I felt like nothing would really change, so just assume that things happened as they would have at those points. From here on out the original story will be becoming less and less prominent as I feature more and more of Iroha and Hachiman's "faux" relationship.