Another Tuesday, another part finished

Hope you all enjoy this part too! See you all next week!


The Memories of Today

Part 2


"Shit!" Once again the old sweater went flying into the hair. "Shit! Shit!" His hand clenched around the phone.

If before he didn't have much luck, this time it was definitely getting ridiculous.

The only thing that could give him answers, that could really show him who he was, how he acted like, what things he did and like…

Didn't have any battery left.

"Fuck!" His free hand went to hit the nearest wall, again and again. This is stupid! And to make it worse, there didn't seem to be a charge anywhere near. "Fuck…"

What kind of bad luck was that?! Just what did he do in his past life to deserve something like that?! Hell, what did he even do in those five years he couldn't remember!?

"Shit..!" His hand clenched even more around the phone. This is unfair! The only thing that could give him answers, the only thing that wouldn't lie to him, that wouldn't ignore his questions… And he couldn't even turn it on. "Fuck…" He cried out, his forehead against the cold wall.

Frustration, impotence, desperation…

Why did he have to go through all of that?

If things were going to be like that, he would have preferred to never find that damn phone in the first place.

Shit… With his forehead still resting against the wall, he finally opened his hand, and the phone fell to the floor, the sound filling the emptiness of that room, but failing to fill the emptiness inside of him.

"So unfair…" He whispered, holding back all those feelings inside of him. "So unfair…" His hand hit the wall once again, but this time the hit didn't have as much strength as before.

That wasn't like him…

If he let himself get swallowed by something like that, how was he supposed to keep going?

If something was certain in all that, was that he was going to keep on hitting walls, on hitting mountains bigger than him, and he couldn't let himself be crushed by them, right? That was definitely not his style, he wasn't one to give up no matter the situation he was in.

And that was one of those situations in where he couldn't give up that easily.

It's only a charger… He could find something like that quickly, right? He only had to go to a store, if five years ago they were everywhere, there was no way things would be the opposite nowadays.

Yes. He raised his head finding new hope. If Lady Luck wasn't going to be by his side, then he only needed to make his own luck.

He only had to check the wallet he found a while ago, go outside, walk to the store that Kondo pointed out earlier, get himself a charger and come back. Nothing too out of the ordinary, nothing that he hasn't done before…

Going outside… And even more, going outside by himself.

Since when things so easy to do became so hard?

"Fuck…" He whispered once more before grabbing the sweater on the floor and going to the living room.


Before even noticing, the warm afternoon in where he arrived at his apartment, became a chilly night, that even with his sweater on he still could feel the cold of the night.

"It's not as bad as I thought…" He whispered as he was walking on the empty streets, the hoodie his head, his wallet in the pocket of the sweater, his hand clenched around the picture Kondo gave him.

Even if he knew it was weird, having that picture with him was starting to give him some comfort, especially when the store was now right in front of him, and he couldn't stay outside for longer.

So after taking a deep breath, he entered the shop, soon received by the monotone greeting of the cashier.

"Oh, Hijikata-san!" The man behind the counter smiled after seeing him enter. "It's been a while since I last saw you," So I knew this guy? "I was starting to think that you both moved out." He chuckled.

That only confirmed his theories that he was living with someone else… But who? He was afraid to ask.

"Oh hello," he tried to act as normal as possible, but he didn't even know what normal was, to begin with. "Sorry I can't stay much today," he cleared his voice, "he is waiting for me back at home—"

"Oh yes," the man laughed again, "he is quite the needy guy, huh?" A needy guy? "So what brings you here today Hijikata-san? Do you need more cigarettes?"

"No… Actually," he brought out the phone in his pocket. "Do you have a charger for my phone? That guy broke mine." He lied, but by the expression of the cashier, he didn't seem to notice.

"Again?" He laughed as he turned back. "You really shouldn't lend him your charger anymore. But he really seems like the guy that would quiet down unless you do." He put the charger on the counter and smiled. "Here it is."


With his heart almost going out of his chest, he rushed back to his apartment, and as soon as he could, he connected his phone and waited… And waited… And waited…

It seemed like forever until the red light appeared on the top of the screen, and he couldn't help but leave a relieved breath out.

He only had to wait for the phone to charge the enough so he could turn it on.

But all the running around, all the feelings inside him, all the different emotions he has had during the whole day… It would be a lie to tell that he didn't felt his eyes heavier.

Maybe taking a little nap while the phone charged wouldn't be a bad idea?


At some point, his little nap stopped being just that.


He woke up the next day thanks to some knocks at his door and he immediately started cursing at himself. Of course, I would fall asleep… What else was I expecting?! It's not like things have been going well for him the last days after all.

But before leaving his room, he makes sure that the phone was ready to go; and he couldn't help but smile slightly after seeing the screen turning on after he touched the button on the side.

So with that little smile on his face, and the anxiousness rising in his body, he went to the door as fast as he could, hoping that whoever was behind it, wouldn't take much of his time.

But things really didn't go as how he wanted them to go…

"Toshi!" Kondo smiled as soon as he opened the door, and his smile disappeared.

He totally forgot that Kondo told him that he was going to come and visit… This is not the moment Kondo-san! Like really! Not the moment!

"Oh, good morning Kondo-san." But there was no way he could say those things, even less when the man was smiling so happily at him. "Come inside." He added letting the man enter.

"Good morning Toshi!" He greeted as he was taking off his shoes. "Hope I didn't wake you up?" You did.

"No don't worry," he lied, "I was already awake, just roaming around the house, you know?" That part was true, or at least it was the day before.

"Have you found anything interesting Toshi?" He asked as he was dropping some bags—bags?—on the table. You bet I did.

"What are the bags for Kondo-san?" If he had to be honest, he wouldn't mind some food, but all those bags seemed to be a little bit too much for just him and Kondo, and it worked to take their little chat away from the things he found.

"It's for the others! Don't tell me you forgot?" Shit. And he must have seen that reaction because he let out a chuckle before coming to his side to pat his back. "You go and get ready, I'll wait here to receive them."

"Thanks."


After getting dressed—not without getting, even more, weirder out over the other person's clothes in his closet—and putting on some perfume, he only had to wash his face and do something with his hair.

So with slow steps, he walked into the bath room and stared at himself.

His face after five years…

The same face that was his, but at the same time, it wasn't.

Because even if he hasn't changed as much as Kondo or Sougo—like he saw in the picture—he wasn't the same as how he remembered himself to be.

Just breathe… He sighed and his hands went to cup some of the water. This… He wetted his face. This is me now… The water was awfully cold, but it was a nice reminder that all those things were indeed happening. Just calm down… Carefully he grabbed the towel next to him and wiped his face. Calm down… He couldn't bear to freak out with Kondo on the next room and the others coming soon.

"Calm down…" He whispered softly, putting the towel back in place. But instead, his went to touch his face, the eyes that had some eye bags underneath, the chin that was starting to have some little hair here and there, the not-so-young skin… "This is me…" He repeated as his hand wandered to the pocket of his jeans and took out the photo.

Slowly he put it against the mirror and breathed deeply. This is me… With his eyes focused on his portrait, he got a little closer to the mirror.

Without a doubt, the one on that picture was himself, same face, same hair… But that smile… That smile…

With an eye on the picture and the other on his reflection, he tried to recreate the same hairstyle and the same smile he had, and even though he succeeded with the first one, the smile just came out weird… It was as if something was missing…


It took him some more minutes until he finally managed to keep that hairstyle in place and for him to muster all of the courage he needed to come out of the bath room, the picture still on his pocket.

"Kondo—" But his sentence was cut off by a sudden red thing that suddenly dashed out to hug him. "What the…"

"Toshi!" At his chest, there was a girl with red hair hugging him tightly—way too tightly—as she was crying out his name softly.

"Yorozuya girl..?" He whispered, and he finally noticed the increased amount of people in his living room. Sougo was sitting on one of the sofas, while Kondo was at the kitchen with Otae at his side.

But there was someone missing…

"Toshi…" The girl whimpered, her face hiding in his chest. Since when did they become as close as for her to call him like that? "Are you okay..?"

"Just let him go China," Sougo sighed, his face with the same bored expression. "Still kicking out, ain't you Hijikata-san?" He added.

But there were way too many things to process for him at the moment.

"I'm…" He gave another quick look around the room. Why wasn't he there? Weren't they friends anymore? But they seemed to be on good terms on the picture… "I'm fine." He managed to say, as he was patting her head just a little bit. Why? The only one that hasn't change… The one he wanted to see the most…

"It's really nice to see you Hijikata-san." Otae greeted and he nodded. "Come here Kagura-chan, he must want his space." She giggled and finally, the girl let him go, her eyes with some tears. But why?

Since when were they close as for her to cry for him? Just what happened between them?!

"Is…" Another look around. He couldn't understand why he wasn't there, why he wanted him there. "Is the Yorozuya coming too?" He finally asked, surprised of how easy it was for him to say those words.

But even more, he was surprised at how quiet they all went, on how they were avoiding his eyes, on how they were looking at each other awkwardly. Did I step on a landmine? Did he really have a problem with him before?

"Well…" Kagura was the first one to talk, her hands playing with her hair, her eyes looking at the floor.

"He is out of town!" Kondo interrupted. "Bu-but he said he will try to com-come if he could!"

"Don't worry about that idiot Hijikata-san," Otae added, and somehow they all took that as the end of the chat about Gintoki, and he chose to not pray more about it, after all, he had all of his answers waiting for him in his bedroom.