The woman - some knew her as Mai, others just referred her as to 'the crazed witch woman' simply because she closed herself up, living in a comfortable solace of life where no one could so much as see her - closed her eyes, a sparkling gem blinking out before quietly murmuring in soothing tones, "I am so sorry...I just...it can't be." She took in a breath, squaring her shoulders, and gazed down at the still dusty, scrawny child in front of her and wondered what had done this - it wasn't just the Akul, it was grief. It shone on the teen's face evenly also, like a single star picking her out in a crowd.
Just like the young woman Mai.
She had a child - a mischievous, beautiful girl who was uncannily smart and intuitive with powers that Mai had a very faint grasp of. The child had been healthy and wondrously happy despite her pained childhood, much to Mai's relief. Unfortunately, the girl was indeed a troublemaker with little sense of danger. Trouble could've been her middle name.
Grief for what she had done to her own little girl, her own baby child. She had raised a child whom she called Ahsoka - very much like this girl - after a warrior princess long told in the history of Shilli - she herself had particularly loved the tale - and looked forward to the day she could recite it to her own child Ahsoka, the tiny face shining joyfully as she listened to the story of her namesake.
But then things had changed for the mother and daughter, long before the infant was born. Aron was the name of Ahsoka's father, and once, he had loved Mai, but before he left to find work during a time in which they had been hunted. He had loved Ahsoka, even though he hadn't known her. Deep in her heart, Mai knew he would've cherished his little girl had his own two parents not been killed.
The savage man laid siege to all those around him. He despised Mai, for she did not completely love his parents that way he had. Soon in his demented mind, he came to blame Mai and when he met his daughter, the child had seen it. She was special...so special to Mai and the universe, and now she was gone.
When Mai had finally heard of her former husband's plight from another woman in her tribe, she had not cared. She didn't care for much of anything, other than quiet, and the tranquility of being alone, or with Tali. Tali only showed tender affection when Mai felt down, and she always knew the right words to calm her. But...
It was too late for Ahsoka, her warrior princess.
And it was her fault, for trusting Aron. He had returned when Ahsoka was little over a year. Mai showed him only love and trust, but Ahsoka had showed fear at the powerful man.
Aron had set their shabby home to flames, and thankfully her baby had somehow escaped, as she had. Aron and Mai had battled, leaving the tired woman weakened. After the fire, she had been so consumed by smoke and shock that her body wouldn't comply. She slept in unease whilst her child had been taken by the man she once loved, and sold into slavery.
Six months later, the brazen girl found her way into the hungry tribe's Akul fight, despite her evil slave owners trials to keep her in check - Zan still had slaves, still overworked and killed them. He only loved his money - but she had seen her mother almost die. Mai had no memory of the next events, for she had been severely injured, but she was told Zan had sold her to the pirates.
The only good outcome? Aron couldn't hurt ever again - he had died by Tali's hand. The very bad? Her baby girl was never found - she couldn't have survived their torture at only three years of age.
In her mind, Mai would count the years as they went by, and thinking that this year her child would be seventeen, so close to not a child at all anymore, and she would quietly close her eyes as she thought of Ahsoka's birthdays as they went by. It hurt her, it truly did, but somewhere within her body she found hope, but sometimes, she was so vulnerable she could hardly imagining facing the world, even though she had to every single day.
This girl didn't seem particualary vulnerable - nor did the other girl who was looking at her with a half-mad expression on the face, one tiny hand gripping the teen's tightly. Her lips were parted slightly, but the only sound she could muster was a croak. Mai quickly apologized, rationalizing in her own grief-stricken mind that it just wasn't possible. Her baby girl was long since dead.
Well, her flesh and blood baby girl. She had accepted the care of a tiny toddler a year ago when the infant was orphaned. But that didn't matter now - the child shared the care of one of her friends, a woman whom she had depended on since her own girl was a baby - Tali.
As the years rushed by, so swift and quick that Mai could only dream of pinning them done, she became the outwardly nervous, but with hidden reserves of unbeatable strength. In a soft voice, she quietly murmured, "It's just a name of a girl she reminds me of."And Mai leaned forward, just a bit, to see the skinny little teen better. She was right - definitely not her baby.
With that, her back straightened, and her blue eyes looked slightly glazed over. Methodically, she handed the girl the cloth and asked, her voice sounding winded as though she had been yelling for hours, "What's her name - and yours?"
The little Togruta wrinkled her nose as she thought, her purple eyes scrunched in concentration. For a moment, Mai thought the child would say, 'What's it to you?', but rather said pointedly, "My name Cala. She's Soma."
Mai felt crushing disappointment for some reason as she continued to stare at the girl - Soma - whose face Cala was rubbing. The little one watched her suspiciously out of the corners of her vibrant eyes. Mai's eyes only rested on the older teen's closed lids and she wondered briefly about the color veiled beneath them.
Each time a pang of hope sounded in her heart, and recognition, Mai would dismiss it with some excuse. Finally, she decided that she was only a crazy woman who knew nothing at all of her daughter anymore anyway, and that she was so stupid to even hope. When the tears threatened, she mumbled, "I'll be back." And she whirled around.
Outside the doorway, she pressed her hands to the mud wall, and choked back the tears. Some days she wouldn't even think of Ahsoka, but now, it just seemed so close. Slowly, the woman slid to the floor and buried her face in her hands. Seeing those similar facial markings mocked her - no! It wasn't true. It just wasn't. Why couldn't she accept the truth? What was wrong with her?
When she looked up, the little girl was leaning on the doorway, her eyes no longer hooded with suspicion. She looked uncertain and so young and innocent, but haunted by a terrible nightmare she could only hope to awaken from. Her little voice held a tremor as she whispered, "Can I have some water?"
It was then that Mai nodded, once, slowly and lifted her tired body so she could walk with her smooth gait to the small kitchenette where a jug of water awaited the poor, thin girl. Looking the child over, Mai wished she could know why this child looked so - so much like she held an aura of power, but still so suspicious.
Cala Zhou, a small thing for her six and a half years, but very imposing (or so she liked to believe) was quieter than her mentor, but determined nonetheless. She had bright purple eyes, the richest and and most royal hue imaginable, and her skin was a mesh between red and orange. Her facial markings where quite square, other than a circle between the upper part of her eyes markings.
She wore a richly dyed blue tunic that was cut off at the sleeves (she had to discard of her Jedi robes) and lightweight, dark leggings that made moving easy. Her light blue Togrutan sash hung carelessly off a belt, and on her face, she wore a scowl.
She was the former Jedi Youngling who had befriended Ahsoka in the midst of chaos, only to be led down the dark path, but miraculously survive (if only by the hand of Jenx, a friend and adviser of Ahsoka who lived in the depths of Lower Corusant after being exiled from the Order for forbidden love) the Dark Side's trials to dispose of Ahsoka. She hadn't seen the Jedi die, but she knew Ahsoka had seen some deaths that tore her apart.
She was suspicious of the woman - she had yet to learn her name - and she had no idea how she had known Ahsoka's name. She would have to talk to the older girl later.
Cala's eyes watched as the woman's slim, steady fingers poured the younger a drink, and handed it to her. "What's your name?" Cala asked, still sounding like she was trying to play the warrior's part in the matter. She held the water to her lips and gulped greedily, watching intently.
The woman suddenly looked very strong, but she sounded quiet as she finally muttered, "Mai." She didn't offer her last name, Cala noted, watching the woman get herself her own glass of water, "So," Mai continued, sounding casual - like she wanted to know something, "Where are you from?"
Cala stood up quickly, hiding her grated nerves beneath an aloof gaze, and said to her water, "Inner Rim. We - uh, we travel a lot." She drained the glass so she wouldn't have to speak anymore, and smiled as she gave it back to Mai. The two Togrutan girl's fingers brushed lightly, and Cala's eyes met Mai's. Mai's eyes were wide and a deep sky blue, the kind of weather that was warm and sunny...but then they clouded over, and Cala saw suffering.
Mai cleared her throat and said briskly, as though to change the subject, "We should check on her." And then her feet carried her to the small room, where Ahsoka's eyes were blinking. Cala sat on the cot with ancipitation, but Mai found herself leaving, saying she would bring the girl water. Once gone, Cala whispered, "'Soka, we ran into trouble."
The older girl moaned, "I knew that. Thanks a lot. If you had listened to me..."
Cala bristled, her Akul turning an interesting navy-colored shade, and she sharply retorted, "I did. I probably saved your life." She sniffed, "But do you thank me? Nooo. Instead you insult me. And besides, if you saw where we are, you'd know I didn't mean the Akul. And that's not even the real problem." Cala lowered her voice again, "She knows your name. I told her you were Soma, but she called you Ahsoka at first."
Ahsoka looked more alert, and a bit intrigued, not to mention worried, "Who?" It was then she looked around, taking in the homey room with it's mud walls and glowing lanterns. Probably machine-operated, but warming nonetheless.
Cala's eyes showed worry as she as she sat, wiggling slightly, "She said her name's Mai." She whispered.
Now, had children called their parents by their first names, Ahsoka would've reacted, but she simply frowned. "The name sounds familiar." She murmured quietly to herself. Cala could see her friend calculating.
But it was then, then, two worlds came colliding together, and this time, they met up quite nicely.
Ahsoka was unsure of the name - the way it sounded quiet, but very special and delicate, like it was her way of life - Mai, Mai, Mai. She repeated it over and over, trying to connect it to any of her memories, even heading into the guarded territories of her earliest remembered moments, and there, the name dangled. A Togruta woman teasingly saying it...somewhere. Somehow? Maybe...
Footsteps jolted the two out of their quiet reverie, and Ahsoka looked up, her eyes unguarded. In those unguarded eyes, there was innocence and uncertainty, and they met the sapphire-colored ones of another woman's, and Ahsoka knew. But this woman was dead. Gone. Ahsoka was skirting the impossible, her lips moving in fear that she was wrong, but then she sealed them shut. She could only squeak.
The woman looked to be in denial, her expression was indeed guarded. But she met the wide blue eyes of her daughter's, and somehow they both just knew. In an instant, everything, past and present, was gone. It was just them, together and now, and then Mai whispered, "It is you...isn't it?" She looked so hopeful, "Ahsoka?" The name hung in the air.
What could Ahsoka say? She couldn't lie, but she couldn't lead her mother to the life of danger she was leading, just as she had done to Cala. It was better that no one knew who she was, no one at all. But it was her mother.
Then again, that just worsened the situation. Finally, Ahsoka's lips parted, the words formed on them, and she rasped in fear that she would break down and just start crying all over again, "Yes."
Memories that did not belong to the mind of such a young child were fresh in Ahsoka's mind, and a guilt she had carried for years slipped away from her grasp. She hadn't killed her mother - she was alive. Ahsoka Tano, who had caused her mother so much grief, could finally let go. Past had met present, and she was not left in the darkness of her mother's fate.
Mai was at her side, and Ahsoka looked at her intensely, just in time to hear the tremor in her voice as she said in scolding tones, "Ahsoka, you are so thin. So is she. How did - I just - what happened to you?"
Ahsoka's lips mashed together and looked at the bed miserably. How could she do this? What had happened to her? She had become the very heart of danger for everyone she knew. But it just tumbled out - what had happened, what she had done, who she and Cala were. Cala had eventually crawled over and sat beside Ahsoka, looking shocked.
Arms wrapped around Cala, Ahsoka could only say, "I'm so sorry to do this to you..."
But Mai's voice sounded winded, and she whispered with tears streaming down her cheeks, "No, Ahsoka, no. I would rather die knowing you safe than not knowing that you were alive at all. In a way, you saved me."
Ahsoka smiled lightly, and she looked down at Cala. So maybe she wouldn't have to play the motherly role over Cala...and maybe she could see about fulfilling her goal as a peacekeeper. And Vader. Ahsoka's heart clenched.
I am trying to lengthen these chapters. But I couldn't think of anything else. And I might have to turn this into a triology (but I wouldn't mind too much)
Yes to CrazySmallLady's question - of course! :D
