Chapter 2
Tim wanted to hate everyone at the DoD, especially Mr. Orlen. He realized, rather belatedly, that Mr. Orlen's name was simply his dad's first name...messed up. ...and Mr. Orlen was the one who had dragged him into this in the first place. No need to mention that Tim had brought this on himself.
But after a few weeks of training, Tim could admit that what he was learning was fascinating and that Mr. Orlen wasn't evil. He had turned Tim over to one of the ongoing projects at DARPA, and Tim was suddenly doing more with Internet protocols and probing for weaknesses in online security than he had ever imagined in his life.
Besides, there were other people who frightened him a lot more than Mr. Orlen ever could, and dealing with Mr. Orlen meant he didn't have to see those other people.
Almost anything was worth not seeing them.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
"Tim, this is Major Nelson," Mr. Orlen said. "He's going to be reading you into this newest project."
"He seems a little young, don't you think?"
"I'm an adult," Tim said. "I've been working for DoD for two years...sir."
Major Nelson raised an eyebrow but nodded.
"All right, son."
"My name is Tim McGee and you can call me Tim or McGee, but I'm not your son," Tim said. Two years of being treated as an adult and seeing things most adults didn't ever see had burned away a lot of Tim's uncertainty. He had a job he hadn't asked for and he wasn't going to be treated like a child, not even when his other option had been life in prison.
"Tim is one of our top programmers and researchers, Major. He's younger than most but that doesn't remove his expertise," Mr. Orlen said quickly. "You won't find his equal."
Tim felt a little bit of grudging gratitude. Mr. Orlen gave credit where it was due at least. Major Nelson gestured and Tim followed. What came of the meeting was another project that lasted for months. Tim didn't really mind the work. It was interesting, but it wasn't his choice.
But it was better than the project he was always working on.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Over the next few years, Tim became more and more distant from his family...not out of any conscious intention on either side, but because he got pulled into work so much more. After he was an adult, DARPA had essentially commandeered him almost completely. They could talk to him on the phone and by email all they wanted, but Tim was physically gone. Even when he came home on the weekends, it wasn't as though they had much time together. It took years for Joan to accept it, for her not to blame Loren for what had happened. Sarah cried herself to sleep more than a few times because her brother was gone. Whatever Tim thought about his new job, he kept it to himself. He couldn't tell them what he was doing because his work was classified.
If anything positive had come out of all the negative that had happened, Tim and his father were able to talk to each other again. They didn't talk about the really important things...because they couldn't, but they spent time talking.
Loren continued his rise up the ladder, although it meant a lot less to him than it had before. In fact, his rise was much slower than it had been. He'd been on the fast track before, but now, his heart wasn't in it.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
"We'd like you to consider some Navy projects, Tim," Mr. Orlen said.
"I don't want to work for the Navy," Tim said. It was the one facet of bitterness he'd held on to. He didn't blame his dad. He didn't hate Mr. Orlen...and he thought about how he felt about his job as little as possible. The Navy was easy to hate, easy to blame.
"I know, but we could really use you in that area. We've had some weaknesses show up in the databases of our aircraft carriers. The more widespread the Internet becomes, the more likely it is that we'll be hacked."
"Mr. Orlen?"
"Yes, Tim?"
"Will I ever be allowed to leave here?"
"And do what, Tim?"
"I don't know. Something else?"
"I don't make those decisions, Tim. You know who does."
That was the end of it. Tim suppressed a shudder and nodded. Then, he agreed to participate in a project for the Navy.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
When Tim was twenty-four, he finally gave up the pretense of living with his parents. He hadn't really for years, but now, it was time to really move out. He got an apartment in Silver Spring and went home to help his parents pack. His dad had been transferred.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
"Tim, I don't want you to go back. Can't you quit?" Sarah asked.
"No, I can't, Sarah," Tim said. "It's my job. They need me there."
"Sarah, your mother needs you to help her finish up the boxes in your room."
"Okay, Dad." Sarah hugged Tim tightly and then left.
Tim turned back to putting some books into a box. He didn't turn around until he heard his dad sit down on his bed.
"How are things going, Tim?"
"They're fine. I'm starting some new projects."
"You don't seem happy."
Tim smiled a little. "You don't, either, and Grandpa would be so proud of you for making admiral."
"I feel like I lost something, Tim."
"What?"
"My son."
"I'm still your son, Dad. There was nothing either of us could do once I made the choice I did," Tim said.
"But I forced you into it."
"Yeah...but it's all water under the bridge," Tim said, not allowing himself to think about anything else. "I'm making good money. They're not torturing me or anything. I clock in and clock out like anyone else does."
"Do you have friends?"
"A couple. Not many...but I don't need a lot of friends. That's not for me."
"Tim..."
Tim wasn't sure he'd ever seen his dad so...uncertain and so upset without being angry about it. He got up off the floor.
"Dad, things worked out for the best. I promise. I wouldn't have been living at home normally by now anyway, and I have the kind of job security a lot of people would kill for."
His dad smiled a little but his eyes were still solemn.
"We don't need to talk about this every time I come around. You're being transferred. I have an apartment. When you guys have the time, you can come visit. Sarah is now saying that she's going to get into a college in DC and we'll see a lot of each other. Dad, there's no reason for you to feel guilty anymore. I have a job. I have a place of my own. I'm getting paid a salary. I'll probably get a great retirement package when it comes to that...better than yours," Tim said, grinning.
His father sighed and returned the grin. "Don't count on it. Military service gives back in spades."
"I'm sure it does."
Tim and his dad finished packing up in his room and then headed downstairs to help Joan and Sarah. After a couple of days, everything was packed up. Tim was headed to his apartment in Silver Spring and his family was off to another naval base.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Tim was sitting in a café during his lunch break, reading The Moonstone. He had become interested in mystery novels a few years previously and had discovered the Wilkie Collins novel last year. It was now one of his favorite books. He'd read it multiple times.
"Tim! Tim!"
He looked up and locked eyes with a dark-haired woman he didn't know at all. She smiled at him in surprise and then looked past him to someone else. Tim followed her gaze and saw a man in dress whites crossing the café toward the woman.
"Kate! I didn't see you!" the man said.
Tim flushed and looked back down to his book. How embarrassing...and what a coincidence. Who would have thought that there would be someone with his name in the same place at the same time? ...and who would have thought that having someone calling his name so eagerly would have been such a pleasure to him...and such a disappointment when he realized that it wasn't his name being called? Tim swallowed and refocused on his book.
Over the next few weeks, he noticed the couple in the same café and he watched them greet each other and enjoy the time spent in each other's company. It wasn't that he was spying. He didn't try to hear their conversations. He just enjoyed watching them be happy.
Then, there was a period of time when neither was there. Tim missed seeing them but he just went back to his work. After that, there was one day when they both came and then, again, nothing for days afterward...until the woman came by herself, seeming very unhappy. Tim felt sad that this woman who had been there so happily for so long was suddenly so solemn. He looked at his book and then over at her...and he took a breath and walked over.
"Hi," he said.
She looked up at him. "Do I know you?"
"No...although you know my name."
She smiled a little. "I do? That's new one."
"I mean...you called it out once, only you were talking to someone else."
"You're still not making a lot of sense, you know," she said, her smile widening.
"Sorry...I'm usually better at talking to human beings. I guess I'm forgetting how. My name is Tim...Tim McGee."
To his surprise, her smile vanished.
"Oh, I see."
"Oh, man. I've messed it up, haven't I. I'm sorry. I should have known better than to..." Tim felt more uncertain than he'd been in a long time. He shook his head, feeling mortified. "My fault. Sorry."
He backed off and hurried out the café, although he thought he might have heard her saying his name.
He stayed away from the café for a few days, but he really liked it. It was close to where he worked and he liked the food...and he was embarrassed by how immature he'd acted. He was twenty-six and he couldn't manage to have a mature conversation with a member of the opposite sex...unless they were talking about computers.
Tim sat down in the café during his lunch break and pulled out his book. He hadn't seen the lovely woman there and that was all the better. No awkward conversation, just lunch.
That's what he thought before someone stood beside him.
"Is this seat taken?"
Tim looked up and then (to his embarrassment), he blushed.
"No. It's not."
"Good." She sat down. "I'm Kate Todd. I'm sorry that I was such a wet blanket before."
"That's okay. I generally stick my foot in my mouth. I'm really good at that," Tim said. "I have the worst timing."
Kate smiled. "My boyfriend...Tim...and I broke up...but then, he was killed. I've been trying to work through how I feel about all that."
Tim gave up any pretense of reading and groaned.
"Oh, I really do have the worst timing. I'm doubly sorry."
"No. It's okay. Actually, your reaction kind of pulled me out of my funk. I think you felt worse about it than I did. Were you going to ask me out?"
"I had considered it," Tim said and he chanced a smile. "I don't know if I'd have actually got the words out or not. It might have ended up the same way...me slinking out of the place in humiliation."
"Would you like to try it now?"
"You sure you want me to? I didn't think I'd acquitted myself very well at all."
"Neither of us did. So now, we have a chance to try again...and do a better job."
"Okay." Tim took a deep breath. "Kate, would you like to go out with me?"
Kate smiled. "Okay. Sounds good."
Tim felt a surge of happiness that he hadn't felt in years. He hadn't realized that he hadn't felt it, either.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Great!"
Tim quickly made a plan of what and when and Kate agreed. It was only after he'd left the café and headed back to work that he realized Kate was probably a little older than he was and he had no idea what she did for a living or anything. Well, that was the adventure, he supposed. He hadn't had the chance to have an adventure...not since he was sixteen.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
"Tim, you look like the cat who ate the canary," Charles said when Tim got back from lunch.
Tim sat down beside his coworker and smiled.
"I don't eat canaries. I'm sure they wouldn't taste very good. No meat on the bones."
"Ha ha. Come on, Tim. I think this is the first time you haven't looked serious coming into work. What's up?"
"We have work to do, Charles."
"Yeah, and you can work and talk. What we're doing right now doesn't take up even a quarter of your brainpower. Come on, Tim! You're a perfect enigma. It's like all you do is exist here at work and nowhere else."
"I exist other places."
"I know that! Come on. Open up a little."
Tim looked at the computer screen and then at Charles...and then back at the computer.
"I have a date," he said.
"How hard was that?"
Tim smiled. "Pretty hard...but a lot easier than getting the date in the first place."
"What are you going to do?"
"Nothing fancy. Dinner."
"How did you meet her?"
"At a café. She called out her boyfriend's name and it happened to be mine. She broke up with him and I moved in."
"Wow. How much time was there in between all that?"
"Weeks."
"Good."
"Now, we have work to do, Charles. I'm going to try to hack into this site. You try to keep me out. We'll see if we've plugged up the holes."
"Go for it. I'm ready."
Tim looked at Charles. "I'll bet you're not."
He dove into the hacking. This was the time that he let himself go nuts. No holding back. He did his best to get in. That's what he always did. He would try it until they'd bolstered the program so much that he couldn't get in. That was the point at which they were done. Not until then.
In five minutes, he'd got around Charles' blocks.
"Tim, we are lucky that you're not actually trying to get in to do something wrong."
Tim smiled a little and stared at the monitor again.
"You have no idea, Charles."
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Tim met up with Kate at a restaurant in DC on a Saturday night. They sat down and ordered and then stared at each other awkwardly for a moment.
"I realized that I don't know anything about you except your name," Tim finally said. "So...what do you do?"
"I work for NCIS. That's..."
"Naval Criminal Investigative Service. I know," Tim said.
"You don't like the Navy?" Kate asked.
"Why would you say that?"
"Your eyes...they darkened for just a second when you said Naval, but not any other word."
"How did you notice it?"
"It's part of what I do. I was trained as a profiler."
"Oh...so I'd better be honest."
"Yes," Kate said with a smile. "What do you do that you don't like the Navy?"
"I work for DoD. DARPA."
Kate gave him a look, and Tim wondered what else he'd given away just by talking...but she didn't say anything about it. She just grinned at him and moved on.
"What do you do there?"
"A lot of classified stuff. Short form is that I'm a computer geek."
"You don't look like one."
"Thank you," Tim said with a smile. "So...are you an agent, then?"
"Very recently, yes."
"What were you before?"
"Secret Service."
Tim's eyes widened. "Wow. That's amazing."
"What did you do before the DoD?"
This time, Tim knew that his face had given away how difficult a question that was. Still, he didn't want to lie. He settled for being honest without really telling anything.
"I went to high school."
"What?"
"I went to high school."
"DoD is all you've done?"
"Since high school," Tim said again, feeling his smile becoming fixed.
"So...what do you do for fun?"
"Read mystery novels."
As they continued to talk, Tim relaxed and enjoyed spending time with someone not related to work at all. It was almost a first for him.
Over the next few months, he spent time with Kate. It became a nice friendship but never anything more. For one thing, Tim never felt comfortable enough to tell her everything about himself. It was okay because Tim was happy to have a friend. He didn't need anything more than that right now...and it was good because Tim was friends with someone who was associated with the Navy. It mellowed some of his lingering bitterness.
Overall, Tim counted himself lucky to have Kate as a friend...which made it all the worse when she was killed. It was a major shock for him. He took his first day off ever just to go to her funeral. He saw NCIS people at the funeral. They all looked as shell-shocked as he was...but he didn't feel like he could talk to them. He just stared at the grave for a long time. His friend was gone, and he felt alone again.
"How did you know her?"
The voice was soft and gravelly. He looked over and saw a woman who was smiling a little. She had a tape player in her hand.
"We were friends," Tim said quietly. "Just friends...not for very long."
"I worked with her. She was one of my best friends. I really liked her."
"Me, too."
"I'm Abby."
"Tim."
She surprised him by hugging him tightly and then walking over to Kate's family and asking if they would mind if she played something for Kate. They agreed.
As she walked over to the NCIS people, Tim was startled to hear loud, raucous, jazz-type music playing. He looked after her and decided it was just something he didn't understand. Maybe it was an aspect of Kate he'd never known. He sighed and walked away by himself.
It was time to get back to work. The idyllic period in which he had a friend and a life outside his work was over, ripped violently away from him, leaving him bereft.
Two weeks after Kate died, Tim tried to find something to take the place of the world he'd touched...and he discovered it in a secondhand store.
He bought a used typewriter and started trying to fix it up.
