Chapter Two.
Near woke from a dreamless sleep with the cool morning air on his skin and a bird chirping at his window. He acknowledged the distant irritation that he ought to feel before pushing it aside for more important things, like his bladder. Having a connecting bathroom was one of the many perks that came with being number one, and Near knew he would miss this perk most of all if L decided he wasn't suited to the position. It made it so much easier to get ready in the morning if he didn't have to wait for the other children to make room for his small size.
Finishing his morning routine as quickly as he can, he acknowledges that his actions are similar to those of an excited individual, and he wonders if Mello is already having a positive effect on him. It seemed as though he reacted more easily where the blond was involved, at least on the inside.
His body still remained motionless and emotionless regardless of who was around, but his mind almost connected to the emotions that Mello unknowingly created. Hope, disappointment, excitement. All of these were because of Mello, and none of them had been felt before. The albino was beginning to become overwhelmed.
Stepping out of the almost chilling shower, he wrapped his small frame in an oversize white towel and shuffled back into his room to dry off methodically and put on another pair of pajamas. As he did so, he mentally counted to fifty in Russian before skipping to German as he slipped quietly out the door of his room.
He reached three hundred and seventy-two, which was in Czechoslovakian, by the time he reached his destination. He was about to slip into the first floor playroom when a hand clasped around his wrist and his body stiffened. He turned just enough to see shoulder length blond hair flipping around the corner before he felt himself being dragged along behind. He stumbled as he tried to make his feet move faster to keep up, but they refused to go any faster than they normally would.
Finally they turned into an abandoned classroom and Near was released. Nothing was keeping him there, the door wasn't locked, and he felt nothing about being dragged around to random classrooms, but he was unable to leave due to the overwhelming intellectual curiosity that came with being literally dragged into a new situation.
So he stayed, allowing his hand to drop to his side as it was released, his other hand curling in his hair as he concentrated on both the soft tugs that his hand made and the frown that settled across Mello's face and slowly morphed into a scowl. The silence spanned across the room as almost a minute ticked by before Near could no longer stand the lack of information and nearly began to formulate an inquiry towards their current predicament when Mello finally broke the silence with a huff.
He grabbed for the chocolate that Near knew was always kept in an inside pocket of his vest and he fussed with it for a few moments before bringing the flavored sugar to his lips where he tapped it there thoughtfully for a moment. Then, finally, words.
"I haven't changed my mind, if that's what you're thinking." Mello said, finally biting into his chocolate. Near did not reply, he simply allowed Mello to savor that piece of chocolate before he continued with his monologue. Mello did just that, used to everyone catering to his needs and quirks. Near was the same, expecting that no one mentioned how he sat, what he wore, or what he ate. Mello was his only exception to this, but that was just one of Mello's own quirks.
"I haven't figured out your riddle though, either." He continued once the chocolate was free of his mouth. Near expected to feel disappointment at this, knew that other people would, but nothing came. Instead, he noted the fire in the other's eyes that belied what he would say next. Near could have spoken the words with him, had he felt the need to speak, or the need to lose his only potential ally.
"I'm not fucking giving up, so don't you think that either." He said, just as Near expected him to. Mello's speech patterns were so predictable that Near had them memorized. If he hadn't added the next part, Near would have felt surprise for the first time in his life. "I will win."
"Of course you will." Near finally assured before shuffling out, wondering if Mello would take his comment as a challenge, sarcasm, or what he meant for it to be; certainty. It didn't matter either way, he knew Mello was working through the riddle regardless of what Near said, simply because he and Mello were the same that way, they couldn't leave a mystery unsolved. The only thing that distinguished them from each other was that Mello loved to share what he knew, constantly prove he was the best, but Near couldn't care less. As long as the albino knew the answer, it didn't matter who else was aware of the truth, and that difference made Mello furious and resentful.
Near knew this, but he'd yet to find a reason to change the pattern. There was no emotion, no driving force, when others were around, when Mello was around, to stop him from what he always did. So he left with those simple words, an assurance that he believed the other, and prayed that Mello's new understanding and determination would win out through their previously redundant cycle of arguments
Shuffling back to the playroom that was surprisingly only three doors away and back around the corner, Near wondered idly how he'd come to assume Mello had drug him off to some far away hidden room in the orphanage when they'd only gone a few feet. He put it down to the confusion and blank Near-ness that consumed him whenever he was in contact with another person.
Sitting down, he placed his most favored building blocks in front of himself, and imagined them to be the different subjects that he was currently studying, placing them in different patterns by how they were connecting in his mind. Building a Parthenon with science and literature blocks, he allowed his mind to be consumed with the facts he knew about the subject as they made even more connections in his thought stream, continuing on until it was time to leave for their first class of the day.
Near's day passed as slowly as ever, even the hiccups that Mello often incited were absent. The peace and quiet was rare, and for once, completely useless to Near. Advanced Calculus finished with exactly thirty seven grapes and a glass of water. Advance Psychology was followed with twenty animal crackers and a glass of milk. Advance Biology was washed down with plain rice and a Go-Gurt. Physical education was avoided at all costs and replaced with studying in the playroom followed by sliced apples and cheese followed by Advanced Literature.
Mello took every one of Near's classes, and didn't seem to be doing anything different than usual every time Near looked up from twirling his hair, or playing with his action figure and pencil, or heaven forbid actually listening to something a teacher had to say. He was sitting there, scribbling furiously in his notebook, chomping on chocolate every time he took a second to pause. Nothing out of the norm, nothing to say that he was working on solving the mystery that was Near, except maybe one or two glances in Near's direction and the raised hairs on the back of his neck that Near only saw as a biological defense and nothing supernatural, there was nothing to prove that Mello was doing more than studying the subjects they were taking.
Near could sense it though, the way that Mello was staring at him when no one else would notice, the sighs he made as he scratched out parts of whatever he was writing, the building frustration that started to worry the other children as they noticed Mello was having a hard time figuring out whatever mystery they were not privy to.
When, at the beginning of Advanced literature, it was announced that L would be coming to visit all the orphanage in a week's time and Mello wasn't ecstatic, Near knew it was time to attempt another hint. This though, would have to be something that Mello would never normally notice, something that he would normally say anyways.
He started to plot, gently guiding the conversation that the class was having until it reached the point where the question he wanted asked was finally voiced.
"How does the poem make you feel, Near?" The teacher asked finally. Near had never bothered to learn his name, but the man was obviously a moron considering it had taken most of their class time to get that question out of him. Regardless, the white child finally had his opening.
"It doesn't." He replied blandly, an honest response that wasn't out of character at all. No one would suspect that Near might be trying to help Mello, least of all being Near himself. If he consciously realized that he was trying to break the dam of nothingness that held his emotions at bay his subconscious would panic and rebel, shutting down any reaction he might give and any freedom he might have already won.
"I beg your pardon?" The fool at the front of the class asked.
"Begging is demeaning." Near responded, continuing with a sigh. "Regardless, I can't feel any emotion for this poem because it hasn't been translated correctly."
He prayed that he had put enough emphasis on those three words as the bell rang and the other children dispersed. He nodded as he shuffled past the teacher who stood there gaping like a fish and raised his head to see that Mello and Matt were leaving just like they normally did. There was no spark of realization in those sky blue eyes.
Near lowered his eyes and shuffled away without a sound, not daring to show how frustrated he was. Frustration was one emotion he was very familiar with, and had managed to pull it into his conscious years ago, but had never understood why that emotion was allowed when the others were not, or why he could feel it but never really express it.
As he pondered, his routine allowed him to thoughtlessly wander towards his next destination without any conscious thought or consideration to where he needed to go. Before he knew it, he was sitting at his lonely table in the corner, watching as everyone around him finished their dinner, happily chatting to their friends.
Mello was his main target as he watched the children interact and picked at his chicken nuggets and plain potatoes. Even when his eyes wandered to the other rambunctious orphans, Mello stayed in the corner of his grey eyes, speaking quietly with the redhead next to him. Matt was nodding, not even looking at the blonde as he babbled on, the orange goggles concentrated solely on the handheld game he played.
A few of the children finished and left, making the dinning room quieter than it had been when Near entered, and he was grateful for the lack of yelling and laughing. It made it easier to gather information when there weren't more than seven conversations going on at once to listen to, in Near's opinion, and living in an orphanage full of geniuses made it easy to learn anything he wanted, as long as he stayed quiet and listened to what they had to say.
Before he could get too concentrated on Linda's discussion of Roman art, or too involved in an argument over conspiracy theories going on beside him, Mello stopped talking. All of Near's concentration was centered on the leather clad boy, ignoring everyone around him in favor of watching the deeply thinking genius, who in Near's opinion was finally number one. Mello finally looked up, his crystal blue eyes searching around the room before finally landing on the small fourteen year old hidden in the corner. Bright blue eyes met flat grey walls and widened in surprise, jumping up as he shouted in excitement.
"Holy shit!" Mello yelled, startling Matt and half the other orphans. "I've figured it out!"
Near didn't react, couldn't react. Whatever was inside him, whatever mental block that erased three years of his life and block all emotion from him, gripped him so tightly that he couldn't breathe. He stayed where he was, eyes wide as he waited for the rejection that was certain to come and breath coming in short, absolutely necessary, spurts. Only when he realized that someone might notice how he was reacting did that pain release him and allow him to breath.
Once the pain was gone a blankness came, covering his mind as he sat there dully, ignoring his dinner as always. He looked away from Mello, who'd been watching him like a hawk, and concentrated on the conspiracy theories once again. So Mello knew his secret, that didn't matter. There was no way to change how he was, no way to make him number one, and they both knew it. Sociopaths had been covered in Advanced Psychology months ago, and it had been emphasized that you couldn't change one. In that case, it was time to move on and decided on another path for his life. Perhaps he could be an alien expert? It would certainly further his goals to help Megatron some day.
Near didn't notice when Mello left, nor did he care. He was too wrapped up in the discovery that there was a man somewhere who'd created a time traveling police box, and he was plotting how to convince the other children to lead him to this man they called 'The Doctor'. They had left though, promising each other not to see The Doctor without everyone present, and dispersing to their own rooms. Linda was no longer there to lecture about Roman art, and Matt was only playing his game, half his meal eaten.
There was nothing more to learn from the room, and Near had grown weary. The effort that he'd put into helping Mello understand his riddle, and the something that had taken over Near's mind and body when he'd finally understood Near's hint, had left the albino exhausted. He slowly shuffeled towards his room, the fork he'd used to spread his potatoes around on his plate was still in his hand. He used it to imagine he had a sonic screwdriver to discover the secrets of the universe and 'unlock' his door. Closing the door behind him softly, he squeaked when a hand landed on his shoulder. Certain he was being attacked, and most likely kidnapped to be used by evil robots, he swung the fork around to jam it into the arm of his assailant. Whoever had hidden behind his door was quicker though, and the fork only grazed the tan arm that was attached to the attacking hand. The fork was removed from Near's possession and Near turned to kick whoever was defeating him where the sun don't shine.
He stopped in shock as he realized the tan arm belonged to a blond-haired catholic. Mello took his moment of surprise to drag him over to the bed and push him on to it.
"What the hell was that?" Mello growled, pacing.
"Mello was attacking me." Near replied. "I was simply defending myself from Mello's dark wish to turn me over to the robots."
"Do you ever make sense?" Mello asked, pausing to glare at Near, on hand on his hip. "What the hell took you so long anyways? You weren't even eating dinner."
"I was learning of a time traveling doctor that might be able to help me." Near told him honestly. "I did not expect Mello to be waiting for me. I apologize."
"Time traveling-" Mello muttered, shaking his head. "What else would I be doing? I promised to help you, didn't I?"
"I did not expect Mello to be so stupid as to believe that he could help me, once he learned of my problem." Near sighed, still not moving from his spot on the bed. "Sociopaths cannot be cured."
"Sociopath." Mello repeated, and then said it once more incredulous. "Are you kidding me? That's what you think is wrong with you? Have you paid the slightest bit of attention in Psych class? How are you even number one?"
"I'm not, Mello is."
"We'll see about that." Mello laughed. "First I have to help you fall in love, then we can figure out who's number one. You aren't a sociopath though, I'll tell you that."
"I"m not?" Near asked, his voice staying flat despite the hope that he knew was supposed to have filled him at that. Mello only laughed.
"I've rewritten your riddle." He said instead of answering. "The problem is Near's lack of emotions, the solution is Mello's determination. The answer is that Near can't process emotion, and how can he love? If Near were Mello, and Mello were Near, how would they act and react?
"I guess that's not as poetic as you put it, but it helped me think it through better. I just put different words where you had your fancy ones, and all these new questions started coming through. This happened while I was waiting for you to finish dinner, by the way."
Near stayed silent, having nothing to say. Whatever Mello had just quoted, it wasn't the riddle that Near had given him, and he didn't understand how that mutilation of his clever poem had helped Mello to understand what was going on better that Near did. Mello was sure to tell him though, eventually. Mello loved to prove he was smart, and always shared what he knew.
"Fine, don't ask." Mello shrugged, reaching for the inside vest pocket before pausing half way and staring at the white-haired boy. He watched as Near stared at the ceiling, counting the cracks in the paint, before scowling once again.
"What would Mello like me to ask?" Near finally voiced.
"Who am I going to teach you to fall in love with, obviously!"
"Who is Mello going to teach me to fall in love with?" Near asked, looking over at the blonde once again. It was surprising to find that Mello had moved closer, right next to the bed. Near could see the sly grin on Mello's face and the laughter in his eyes, there was a true joy hiding inside of Mello, one that Near only ever saw when Mello had solved the problem before Near.
Mello, always a man of action, did not reply. Instead he moved swiftly, pinning Near to the bed the same way he had the day before. Near was distracted with wondering how it had only been a day ago when it felt like a million years ago that turned fourteen. He figured it had to do with how full these past two days had been, and how exhausted he was. His thoughts were interrupted though, when he felt something touch his lips.
His eyes popped open to reveal Mello's face above him, the blonde's lips on his own. Near didn't move, wasn't sure he could have if he'd tried. This situation was so far out of his depth that even his inability to react to other people's touch was unnecessary to keep him still. His shock and uncertainty was doing that just fine on it's own.
Finally Mello pulled back, not releasing Near's wrists as he frowned down at the other. Taking in the deer in the headlights look that was directed towards him, he laughed softly before leaning down to kiss Near's nose.
"Who else would I allow you to fall in love with?" He asked, moving to Near's jaw. "Who else would have the patience to love you in return?"
Near stayed silent, allowing Mello to explain.
"L will be here in a week, you know. I would never have found a better match for you in that time. I'm not sure I would have found a better match regardless." Mello moved to his ear, whispering into it before biting it gently. "I've been going crazy trying to understand how your mind works, I would have gone mad if someone else had changed you, if someone else had loved you."
"I can't-" Near tried. Mello was one step ahead of him.
"You can." He said gently, moving back to look into grey eyes. "You just don't want to. You're so scared, too scared. What happened to you, Near, that made you fear your own emotions?"
"I don't remember." Near whispered. "I don't want to."
"Of course you don't." Mello laughed. "And I wont make you."
Near didn't smile, didn't show the relief on his face, but he felt it. Mello's blue eyes watched him as some of the tension released from his small shoulders, and the blonde smiled before determination returned to his eyes and he continued to speak.
"I will make you love me, you won't have a choice in that. The emotion is there, you know. I can see it in your eyes when you freeze up. You have those emotions, you just don't allow yourself to feel them because you're so scared. That isn't Sociopathic, that's just a tragic past. We all have them, and it's time you moved on from your's."
Mello leaned down again, done with talking, and tried once again to kiss the smaller boy. Near didn't respond though, or if he did it was to pull away a little. Mello sighed, pulling back and looking hurt. He watched Near's blank face as Near blinked at him, before turning his head away to look at the far side of the wall where there were shelves lined with toys.
"Don't speak 'Mello'." He muttered to himself. "Speak 'Near'."
He shook his head in frustration, gripping Near's wrists just a little tighter, obviously struggling to find the words he wanted. Near waited, still not moving. His wrists hurt a bit, but Mello's weight on top of him wasn't too much to handle despite the other boy being two years older than he was, and Near being so much smaller. What did bother him was that he wanted to laugh. He didn't know why, he'd never felt. the urge before, never felt that anything was funny enough to make noise over, but Mello's frustration was somehow hilarious.
Before Near could really realize how dangerous it would be to laugh at the boy who was trying to get into his head, Mello had another lightbulb moment and brightened up, smiling down at the boy who's lips were starting to twitch. Mello saw the twitch at rolled his eyes, as though he knew all along that it would be there. Near wasn't certain that he hadn't, considering that most times Near could predict Mello's words before the boy said them. Maybe Mello knew him just as well? Knew him well enough to make him laugh for the first time in his life?
"Yes, my insanity is very funny." Mello chuckled, his patience returning. "Laugh all you want, I won't sell you to the robots."
Near did let out a small snort at this, surprising himself as he reacted to something in front of another. His surprise was not reflected in Mello's face though, Mello only looked supremely satisfied and triumphant, as though he'd expected Near to react. Near's confusion was shown next, and Mello relented, releasing the boy's wrists. Near didn't move, only watched Mello expectantly, waiting for the explanation that was sure to come.
"Do you remember that story we studied, what was it? Two years ago. Well, the one about the red string of fate that connects soulmates together? It was a myth, really. Anyways, I was always so fucking frustrated with you, because I knew how you should react when I was around, but you never did. That's one of the reasons I hated you so God damned much."
"Mello is speaking in gibberish again." Near commented, wondering how the boy got through life with such a chaotic thought process. "What does the red string have to do with how Mello feels about me?"
"It has everything to do with it." Mello said firmly. "It's like, we have that red string, and I was mad because you weren't doing anything the way I knew you should. So, I got mad instead of trying to figure out why."
"Is Mello trying to say that he thinks we are soul mates?" Near asked in surprise, finally wading through the chaos that Mello had laid before him. The boy who straddled him nodded energetically, making Near want to laugh again for no reason at all. "What does that mean?"
"It means that we're supposed to fall in love. It means that L's decision wasn't really about who was meant to be number one, it was about forcing us to realize that we're meant to be together. It means that you don't have to hide what you're feeling from me, because we're one soul in two bodies. It means that I'm never going to give up on you, even when I don't understand why you act the way you do, because-"
He paused, leaning down to whisper the words into Near's mouth.
"I love you."
Near gasped, surprised to have heard the honesty in his rival-turned-soulmate's voice. The gasp allowed Mello to move in closer, pressing a warm kiss to Near's parted lips. This time, Near didn't react simply because he wasn't sure how, but Mello's new patience was never-ending and he simply did his best to help Near find the best way to respond.
Mello slid his hand down Near's side, and the albino's surprise was cut short as his own hands came up to run through Mello's blond locks. The twirling motion he used was something that he was extremely used to in his own hair, and calmed him enough to push the panic away. Pressing his lips back to Mello's, to show that he was trying, he felt something press it's way through his lips and into his mouth.
He resisted the urge to bite down on the unfamiliar muscle in his mouth, and instead used his own tongue to discover the organ, to be sure it wasn't going to kill him mid-kiss. The other tongue brushed against his gently, and Near gasped again, his body reacting in ways that it never had before. Mello pulled back with a sparkle in his eye, and Near's thoughts cleared a bit, enough to draw in the panic again.
"The door-"
"I locked it."
"I can't-"
"We can."
"How?" Near asked demandingly.
"We're one soul in two bodies." Mello repeated, wincing a bit as Near had clenched his fists in the blonde's hair. "We just have to, let go of my hair, we just have to get to know one another."
"Sorry." Near said quietly, drawing his hands away. Mello only shook his head and smiled, leaning down to kiss the small white nose that was scrunched apologetically. Pulling back, he climbed off of Near and laid down beside the smaller boy instead, twirling his fingers in the colorless locks, putting the other boy at ease.
"It's fine." Mello said at last. "I just didn't realize you were so strong. See? We don't know enough about one another. Let's start with this, what's your favorite color?"
They spoke all night, laying together, watching the moon from Near's window as it moved slowly across the sky. Mello eventually couldn't live without chocolate and gave in, and Near took the time to get up and grab his favorite robot before crawling back into the bed to continue their discussion with sleepy smiles and heavy eyes.
Eventually Mello told Near that they would have to sleep, and Near agreed eagerly, snuggling closer to the blonde that he felt he knew almost as well as he knew himself. As the sun started to rise, and Mello snapped his cell phone shut, certain that they wouldn't have to go to their morning classes that day, Near blinked tiredly up at him. Quietly, almost impossible to hear, the words were spoken.
"I think I love you, Mihael Keehl."
