CH2

Jane's POV

"Hey Maur? I have a serious question to ask you. Can I get an honest ans… Nevermind, that was a dumb question. Will you answer it?" Jane stared intently at the doctor.

"Mmm… No. Yes. No… I'm not sure. Ask and I'll decide whether or not to answer it. Wait… I'm confused. Do you want me to answer the 'dumb question' that you failed to finish, or the serious question?" Maura bit her lip, a mildly concerned look pointed at Jane's 'Serious Face'.

"What? The serious one! No Maura. That isn't how it works, you either answer or you don't, you can't decide after the question is asked. Fine, I'll just ask you until I get an answer out of you. Okay… Are you ready?" All expression fell from Maura's face, telling Jane that she should probably just continue before Maura started spewing off random facts about… something random. "If you could be any superhero, who would you be? You know, from the comics?" They were sitting on Jane's couch, Jo Friday snuggled into their laps. She was literally sprawled out over both of their laps. Maura paused in raising her beer bottle to her lips, her brow furrowed, and her hand with the beer dropped to the couch, what was left of the beer sloshing inside the bottle.

"Really Jane? That's your 'serious' question? That's… utterly pointless. I… What? I don't even know what to make of that. You know what, I'm not going to answer you." Jane's jaw dropped open slightly, her arms going out to her sides, one hand holding her beer, the other with the palm facing up in front of the doctor.

"Maura! This is serious! This is like when you badgered me into telling you about my nearly nonexistent wedding fantasy! You owe me!" Maura sipped her beer, pointing at Jane with the neck.

"That is false; I did not badger you, I simply asked-"

"Repeatedly!" Maura spun to face Jane, a hand to her chest and eyes wide.

"I did not ask the same question more than once!" Jane's eyes narrowed, flicking Maura's nose lightly, smirking.

"Nice try, doc. You SO asked the same question more than once! Just because they were different variations of the same damn question does not mean it's a different question. Maybe you've just got weird ass standards. And answer me! Please? I really need to know. Unless it's something dumb like an Archie character or something. I'd have to… do something about that." Maura sighed, trying to reach the table to place her empty beer bottle on the coaster she had brought over one evening. Her legs came up off of the floor, becoming parallel with her as she tried to reach with no avail, Jo on her lap not helping. Since she couldn't use her hands, she transferred the bottle to her feet, placing it neatly on the table that way, improvising. Jane's eyebrow rose as she waited for the medical examiner's response, and at her bottle-placing technique.

"I don't even know whom this Archie man is. Why would I want to be something that doesn't exist?" Jane stared at Maura, frozen in horror.

"Doesn't exist? That's the point! If we use our imagination, we can create anything we'd like! Well almost anything. I've always wanted to be She-Hulk! She's smokin', and is soo cool!" Maura frowned at Jane's enthusiasm.

"I worry about you. Wait, you find her attractive? When did you begin liking women? This is new…" Jane paused, realized that she had just called a woman 'smokin'', and then paled when she further realized she had uttered it aloud.

"Uh… shit. I, um… Maura… Maur…I… Ugh." Jane groaned, fiddling with the beer label, getting up abruptly and tossing her beer, taking Maura's bottle with her to the kitchen. "I've been… self-analyzing a lot lately. Every man that I've been with I've either pushed away, or let them walk away. I honestly don't think I care about them enough… romantically, to keep them around. I mean, Dean… Well, you know about Dean. If it comes down between a boy-toy and my LLBFF, it's gonna be you. But… Casey? I love him… as a friend. I'm not in love with him, and I think for the longest time I was afraid to admit it to myself, ya know?" As Jane's rambling went on, her voice got quieter. "It isn't like I think I'm a bad person for feeling the way I feel, but I feel bad for not being honest with myself about this whole thing. I don't know what to do, and sure as hell am not talking to Ma about this. Her shrieking… I can't take it right now." She finally turned and looked at Maura, turned around and facing the kitchen on the couch, her hand covering her mouth in thought, and her eyes looking at the ground. Making eye contact with Jane, Maura removed her hand from her mouth and gave her a sympathetic smile.

Maura's POV

Maura didn't react well to surprises. Or emotions. Or confusion. When Jane insinuated that she wasn't romantically attracted to men, Maura became confused. Then she realized; Jane was telling her, The Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, her deepest, darkest possible secret. Her mind was firing into too many synapses at once, and for once she couldn't keep up. She tried to cover her mouth so she wouldn't accidently blurt out something completely unrelated to Jane's confession of sorts. But, after a moment of trying to listen to her brain, she quit. Taking a page from Jane's book, she reacted compulsively. 'Thinking with her heart', as Jane would say (Although, Maura knew that you couldn't think with your heart due to the difference in types of neurons, and their communication, it still 'felt' correct). She smiled. She got up and stopped Jane's frantic pacing after she didn't get an immediate reaction from Maura fast enough, pulling her into a hug.

"Jane… You know I'll love you always, right? Your sexual orientation isn't… It isn't why I love you. It isn't why your family loves you. We love you for your stubbornness, your beautiful mind, your devotion to us and your job, your large heart. Although, medically speaking, I hope your heart is average size. Sexuality doesn't define you. The way you choose to handle everything defines you. Only you can define yourself. Sexuality has a fluid quality to it; it changes its shape for each new item that carries it. You carry your sexuality, and if you're anything but who you are because of it, I would be ashamed, because you're a beautiful person, scars and all. The world… You deserve to see that. You carry it. It doesn't carry you. Remember that for me, okay?" Maura felt a lump forming in her throat halfway through her speech, trying to swallow it down before her amygdala and lacrimal glands made a connection. She squeezed Jane's waist once, signaling her pulling back from the embrace. Her attempt to pull back failed, however. Jane squeezed even tighter, burying her head into Maura's neck-full of hair, her heated breath warming the hair there. Jane sniffed a few times, squeezing slightly tighter before letting go. Maura placed her hands on Jane's shoulders, tilting her head in acknowledgement of Jane's mumbled apology.

"Don't be sorry. I had this issue as well when I was younger. I struggled with my sexuality until someone told me a quote, by a children's author no less. I can't remember the authors' name, but the quote was... "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and –"

"' – Those who matter don't mind.'" Maura blinked at being interrupted, then stared at Jane.

"You know it? That's the first time I've ever spoken that quote aloud to anyone since then. How do you know it?" Jane's eyebrow rose as she sniffed some more and wiped at her nose with the tissue Maura handed her.

"It's… it's Dr. Seuss, Maur. He's the author. I used that as my Senior Quote in the yearbook. Wait, you had problems with your sexuality? I can't imagine that. A teen Maura… struggling with… Yeah… no. That's odd. At least you figured it out before you hit thirty. Do you… label yourself? I'm not too big on labels just yet. Probably won't ever be." Maura laughed at the expression Jane's face obtained when she thought of a teenage Maura.

"I don't identify myself with anything. I am simply myself. If you're asking if I find women attractive, then the answer is yes. I've found I have a tendency to have lingering eyes when one peaks my interest. Especially if I find them cerebrally stimulating." Jane snorted, shaking her head back and forth at her friend.

"Is that your way of saying that their brain needs to be sexy? I swear you're a nympho sometimes. Who told you that quote? I've loved it ever since Ma and Pop read it to us when I was younger. Is this weird? Us talking about this?" Jane shifted from foot to foot, fiddling with the tissue still in her hand, her brow creased in consternation. The doctor placed a reassuring hand on Jane's elbow, leading her into her bedroom so they could get changed for bed.

"Why would it be weird? Oh… for the record, you have no idea how hypersexual I am, it's actually quite annoying at times. For me, anyway. I forgot the pistachios in the kitchen, you can change while I go fetch them." Jane's eyes widened as she remembered the nuts. It had been their nightly routine when they slept over at either house, ever since Maura first introduced her to them. Grabbing the bag and two cups for the shells, Maura made her way back to the room, not thinking to knock first.

"Maura!" Jane husked loudly, making the doctor jump in response, her eyes closing immediately.

"Sorry Jane, I didn't think about it. Besides, I've seen your underwear hundreds of times. It isn't that big of a deal." Waving her hand nonchalantly, she placed the cups and pistachios on the bed, opening the drawer Jane had stashed Maura's clothes in and pulling out her pajamas.

"Uh… kay. Is our relationship weird? Please don't be offended for me asking that… But, I swear this is the weirdest friendship I've ever had. A good weird, but still weird." Frowning, Maura straightened up and gave Jane a questioning look, trying to squelch the fluttery feeling that came over her abdomen.

"What do you mean? Jane, I have nothing to compare it to. You'd have to tell me if it was weird or not. Otherwise, I'm not knowledgeable in this area." Grabbing her pajamas and setting them on the bed, Maura slid her hands to one hip, unzipping her skirt and shimmying out of it while waiting for Jane's response. When it didn't come, she looked up at the detective, only to find her staring at the bed, her breathing shallow.

"Maur… Can you… forewarn me the next time you take your clothes off please? I… see? This is what I mean! Us changing in front of each other, sharing the same bed majority of the time? I only counted two nights this week that we stayed at our places, alone. In the last two weeks. Ma even thinks it's a little odd." Maura stopped changing, her skirt on the floor and her shirt halfway undone, the buttons on the blouse forgotten at Jane's analysis. Jane had her head in her hands, rubbing at her temples.

"Are you uncomfortable with our relationship? If you are, just tell me Jane. I… I didn't mean to place you in an awkward position; I've never done this before, and I'm relying on you to set boundaries. As you well know, especially by now, I have very few boundaries set when it comes to those who are close to me. I'm sorry if I've upset you."

"You're jumping to conclusions, Maura. You haven't upset me, I just want to talk. Our relationship is… it isn't normal for a friendship, I don't think. Can I ask you a question? An actually serious one, and not one about superheroes. Which you never answered, by the way." Concerned, Maura nodded her head. Is the way I interact with Jane inappropriate? I hope not, I think I'd find it hard to stop… being myself around her.

"Have you ever thought of me… you know… like that?"

All expression fell from Maura's face, lost in trying to discover what Jane was asking.

"I'm sorry, you've confused me. Can you elaborate?"

Rolling her eyes, Jane dropped her hands to her sides, palms upturned.

"Really? This is the most difficult thing I've ever asked anyone, and she wants me to elabor– Okay, do you, Maura, like Jane?" When speaking their names, Jane pointed to each of them when their names respectively were announced.

"Of course I like you! Jane, that isn't elaborating. Be more specific please." Maura's heart fluttered in her chest. She wanted to hear the detective say it. To make sure she wasn't experiencing auditory hallucinations, or simply dreaming. Jane pulled her hair in frustration, uttering a guttural cry of annoyance.

"DOYOULIKEMEROMANTICALLY?!" Jane's face was beet red, and her yell caught Maura off-guard, making her take a step back. Her mouth opening in a silent 'O' of understanding, her eyes widened.

"Jane… I…" Maura apparently couldn't put the words together fast enough, because Jane bolted. Shocked at her reaction, Maura ran after her, stopping in the bedroom doorway.

Jane's POV

"Don't you dare run away from me, Jane Clementine Rizzoli. You asked me the question; you will wait for my answer, and wait patiently. I will not be left alone at your apartment worrying about you for the next eight hours. I refuse to put up with the stress that situation would cause." Halfway out the door, the only thing that stopped her was the voice coming from the end of the hallway, Maura's frame outlined by the bedroom light. She spoke softly, but with so much fervor in her tone that it sent chills plummeting throughout Jane's body, causing goose bumps to appear on her skin. Biting her tongue and avoiding eye contact, Jane slowly closed the door.

"I'm sorry, Maura. I've never… done this before." Leaning against the now locked front door, Jane shoved her hands in her pockets and stared at her bare feet. She could hear the shuffling of Maura moving around in the kitchen, pouring two glasses of water and setting one for Jane on the bar.

"Sit. You want the answer to your question, correct?" Nodding ever so slightly, Jane dragged her feet to the stool, slumping down in it like a chastised child, her hands slowly wrapping around the glass and tilting it in a thank-you.

"Good. You will sit there and let me explain my response. Quietly, and without interruption. I love you, Jane Rizzoli. I have, and I always will. That does not mean that I will allow you to run from me; to abuse yourself, mentally or physically by assuming. If I feel that I need to put you in your place, I will. I do what I think is best for the both of us, whether you find it obnoxious or not. I will not fight with you, especially after that ridiculous catfight awhile ago. It is tiring, and it gets us nowhere. I respect you, and I expect the same. But, I will tell you this; if you ever try and run from me again, I will hunt. You. Down. I do not like to chase, Jane. The repercussions from my having to seek you out if we disagree, or if you become frightened, will be tenfold. We are adults, and we can communicate maturely when needed. To answer your question… I've been waiting for you to ask me this for three years, Jane. Give me a break if it takes a moment for your words to sink in."

Hey guys! Sorry it's taken forever for a new chapter! I've been crazy busy with work, and I've been trying to write this darned chapter since the last chapter was posted. For some reason, I struggled with staying focused. ;)

I hope you guys like it! 3

Thank you so much for you fantabulistic reviews and PM's! I love them. They're like peanuts to an elephant for me. YUUUUMMM. Me being the elephant, not the nut! -_- J

Keep up with your amazingness with the reviews! This gyal needs her nuts! Eh… figuratively speaking, of course! ;D

*Tell me what you think about my take on the girls, I'm still trying to figure out their voices. XOXOXO