Because it's Better in Suna

Ch.2: December 24


Shikamaru ambled into the kitchen around noon, after waking up to figure out what was with the ruckus.

An annoying clatter of pans and even more annoying smell of food had woken him up. It was getting him hungry.

Okay, preferable to the alternative, which was his mother waking him up at three in the damn morning to help her cook for Christmas Eve dinner. Pfft. Shikamaru would be perfectly happy eating leftovers.

Upon entering the area from which the source of noise came from, he found Temari stirring a pot and attempting to grab a bowl on the other side of the kitchen without ceasing the stirring.

"Dammit!" Temari swore as she fell back and tripped over an empty pan on the floor. Luckily neither the pan she was stirring or the bowl she was reaching for had fallen with her. Sitting there scowling on the floor, Shikamaru thought she looked rather pretty. With flour on her face, her blonde pigtails all mussed up, and a white frilly apron on her, she looked completely adorable. She looked up and scowled at him. "You find this funny, Shikamaru?"

"Somewhat, yes."

The blonde picked herself up grumbling about stupid men.

"You know, it might work better if someone were helping you." He looked at her pointedly. "Gaara and Kankurou abandon you? This not as fun as the other stuff?"

She stuck out her tongue at him. "No. They think this is fun too. They just went out to get sugar."

He quirked up an eyebrow. "They BOTH went out to get sugar?"

A slight shudder graced her shoulders. "You don't set Gaara out shopping alone, let alone for sweet items. And Kankurou, the big baby, didn't want to go, so I sent them both." She dropped the contents in the bowl into the pan, and continued stirring. "Neither of them can cook worth a damn."

He smirked, "And you can?"

Temari scowled and kicked the empty pan at him.

It narrowly missed his head.

He grinned.

"Quit being an idiot and help me." She waved the spatula at him. "Do you know how to baste a ham?"

"Somewhat."

"I take it your somewhat is equivalent to a 'yes, Temari, tell me where everything is'."

"Troublesome."

"Oh, fine; if you don't—"

He rolled his eyes, "I didn't say anything other than troublesome, woman. Where's the ham?" Temari motioned to the fridge.

Yawning, Shikamaru got to work quickly, only paying a fraction of his attention to the food he was working on. He was more interested in watching Temari.

"Idiot, pay attention to the food, or you'll poison somebody."

"Woman, pay attention to the food before you burn it. Seeing how accident prone you are when you ARE paying attention."

She scowled. "You know, you really irritate me."

"Then why'd you bother inviting – scratch that ordering me over for Christmas?"

"Because you're ill and need to be cured."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Ill. Right."

Temari threw the nearest object to her at him.

He didn't dodge this one, and a bag of flour hit him in the chest. "Damn, woman, you're supposed to make me like Christmas, not inure me severely."

"Oh, shut up." She paused then turned off the stove. Turning around she waved the spatula figuratively in his direction. "What dessert do you like eating?"

"What dessert do I what?"

"During Christmas, what dessert do you like to eat more?"

"It doesn't matt—"

"Oy, idiot, if I asked you then it matters."

"Chphrecerke."

She raised an eyebrow. "Say what?"

He sighed. "I like cheesecake, okay?"

She grinned at him. "What? Is that embarrassing for you to admit?" She paused. "Doesn't Yoshino have something against—"

"Ino's cheesecake." He cut her off. Yes, his mom was adamantly against making that cake. She was allergic or it was bad for your health or something. He never really paid attention to the explanation she gave.

"Ino can cook?" He noticed her voice was a little tighter than it was five seconds ago.

"Not even. Her mother cooks everything." He shrugged, "Ino called it a fattening dessert so she gave it to me and Chouji before her mother or father could notice she'd taken it from the house."

"Nice." Temari chuckled. "Better you than her apparently."

Shikamaru rubbed at his cheek. He was still so very sleepy.

Temari smiled. "Oy, baka, you got that stuff on your cheek."

Shikamaru wiped at his face, but got the feeling he was only making a bigger mess.

Temari rolled her eyes and walked to him. "Right," her finger rubbed at his cheek, "here."

Her fingers rested on her cheek, a dumbfounded and petrified look upon her face. She looked really pretty he thought, for the second time that morning. Hair a mess, powdered flour on her nose, that unbelievable naïve look on her face. He sort of just moved forward and touched her pretty pink lips to his.

Temari moaned slightly in protest. "We need to…food…"

"It can wait." He mumbled into her mouth as he somehow managed to push her against the counter.

She tasted like peppermint. No surprise there; as he passed the tree in coming to the kitchen he'd noticed the complete and total lack of peppermint candy canes on the tree. In fact he noticed the lack of all candy canes, period.

Temari, Kankurou, and Gaara sure liked their candy canes.

Shit. Kankurou and Gaara would be coming back s—

"Ahem." Gaara said calmly, almost at the same time that a heavy bag hit the back of his head.

Before him, Temari scowled, her cheeks flushed. "Kankurou, don't throw the sugar around!"

"Isn't it better to say don't throw the sugar at poor Shikamaru's head. You might give him a concussion?" Shikamaru grumbled.

"WELL," Kankurou emphasized, "I wouldn't HAVE to throw the sugar at ANYBODY'S head, if the kinky shadow idiot could keep his hands off you."

Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched. Kinky?

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Come on, I'll cook up the gingerbread – I mean…people cookies and meanwhile you two can help Shikamaru with the ham."

"He knows how to cook?" Gaara asked.

Temari scoffed. "I hope so."

xXx

Shikamaru was sitting on the table his head resting in his hands watching as the three siblings decorated the 'people cookies'. "Are these the same type of cookies you have hanging on the tree?"

Temari shook her head then stopped. "Well…"

"Technically," Kankurou clarified, "they're the same type of cookies, but Gaara baked them…and well…they proved to be inedible."

He raised an eyebrow. "So you made them decorations instead?"

Temari smiled. "It's a cool decoration. Totally original. I've never seen a cookie decoration on anybody else's tree before."

Gaara didn't seem to be affected by the conversation at all, not even pausing in his decoration; but the red-head asked him a question, a slight…apprehension in his voice. "You don't like the cookie decorations?"

Temari looked up at him, a threat daring to rise in her eyes, but Shikamaru didn't even notice it. Kankurou, unbeknownst to Shikamaru had the same expression on his face. "They're weird, but in an interesting way." The edge of his lips curled upward involuntarily. "I like all the decorations, as weird as they are; they're…fun." He picked up the cookie Gaara pushed aside and looked it over. It had swirls for eyes, appeared to be drooling, and its shirt looked dirty and ragged. "What is it?"

"Drunk." Shikamaru could almost swear Gaara was smiling. He knew Temari was grinning widely and brilliantly, and Kankurou was looking at him in…acceptance, also smiling. Shikamaru wasn't sure why. He must've said something.

"Drunk?"

"You can't have cookie people without a drunk cookie."

He picked up another one. "Or apparently a love-struck one." He muttered. This one had hearts for eyes and was drooling. Oh, and a button on its chest…

Kankurou smirked. "That's you."

A button with a picture of Temari. "Gaara's inventive." Kankurou continued; mirth at the edge of his lips. The puppeteer pushed forward another cookie in his direction. This one had the same expression the 'Shikamaru' cookie had. "He made another one that looks just like that except female and with a Shikamaru button."

Temari scowled.

Shikamaru smiled.

Oh yeah, they were very inventive when it came to decorating things…

xXx

Eating was a … peculiar experience.

At home, everyone gathered around and ate politely and talked about civil affairs, and it was oh-so boring. Shikamaru had trouble just staying awake, though his mother hitting him sure managed to keep him from sleeping in his plate of food.

There was no way he could even manage to feel like sleeping here. For starters they passed food around the table by sliding it across. He really didn't want to miss the plate and let it crash to the floor. Not that he would be the first. Already three plates lay broken on the floor, and they all declared it should be left there. They'd clean up when they were done, or so they said. Every now and then someone would throw a piece of food at someone's head for some mockery they said; and surprisingly enough, Shikamaru actually managed to find the conversation interesting.

Kankurou grinned evilly. "So, Nara, you do it with my sister yet?"

Temari scowled and kicked him. Or…tried to. Gaara was the one who winced and rubbed his shin.

Shikamaru smirked. "What? So interested in Temari's life, 'cause you get any?"

Kankurou choked on his food.

Temari's jaw dropped and she aimed a kick at his legs. He shifted to the side before her foot could contact with skin, but he still heard a loud 'thud'.

Gaara inhaled sharply. "Dammit, Temari, either hit your target or stop kicking."

Temari swatted Shikamaru upside the head and grumbled an apology at Gaara.

"What did I do, woman?" he asked with a smile.

"Fucking idiot." Temari grumbled. "Barely one day with my brothers and you're already starting to sound just like them."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Kankurou grinned.

Temari threw her cup at him. Kankurou inclined his head to the side and it went forward smacking into the wall with a loud crash.

"See, Temari," Kankurou grumbled through a mouthful of food, "this is why we constantly have to replace our dinnerware."

"You being a moron is why we have to replace things. Fuck, you burned the entire kitchen last month."

"That," he clarified, "was Gaara's fault."

"Was not." Gaara protested. "You told me it was okay to heat up the burrito in the microwave."

"It was covered in foil, Gaara, of course it's not okay to put in the microwave." Temari sighed.

Shikamaru choked on his drink. "You put FOIL in the microwave?"

"Kankurou said it was okay."

Shikamaru glanced at the puppeteer.

Kankurou sighed in irritation. "I thought it would be fun to see what happened."

"You set the kitchen on fire!" Temari snapped. "AND, instead of putting it out, or calling for help, you decide to watch and see what could happen!"

"You…"

Kankurou shrugged, "It was kinda burning the pantry and we wanted to see what would happen when the fire touched the popcorn."

Shikamaru wasn't known for laughing.

Shikamaru wasn't known for a lot of things.

But this was too good not to laugh.

xXx

Shikamaru took some popcorn from the bowl and stared at the screen. Gaara was sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the couch. Kankurou was lying on the floor on his back propped up by a rather large collection of pillows. Shikamaru sat on the couch. And Temari was stretched across the couch her head resting on his lap. There were two popcorn bowls. One that Gaara held in his hands and one resting on Temari's stomach. The lights were off, only the twinkling rainbow barrage from the tree and the TV illuminating the room.

"Remind me again why we're watching a horror movie." Shikamaru muttered to no one in particular.

"Because. We always do." Gaara muttered.

"And why would that be?"

"Because," Kankurou mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn, "AFdhoruhu."

"Dammit, Kankurou," Shikamaru could feel the vibrations from her body on his lap as she spoke. "Swallow, then speak."

"BECAUSE," Kankurou clarified, "watching a holiday movie about some freaky talking reindeer, fat old man in red, or even freakier talking, walking, magical snowman, is a far creepier and asinine thing to do. Why would we watch something that somebody probably concocted under the influence of drugs when we can watch something sensible like–that was fucking COOL!"

Some idiot just got decapitated. "Like people being slaughtered?"

"Exactly."

"Ten bucks that girl with the strawberry blonde hair dies next." Gaara said.

"Nah," Kankurou mumbled, "the dude with the dreds is next."

"The little kid." Temari chimed in.

Gaara tossed a popcorn kernel at Shikamaru. "What's your hypothesis?"

"You're all wrong. The homeless man."

A few minutes later, the chopped up body of the girl with red-blond hair hit the floor with a sickening splat.

"Damn." Kankuro muttered.

"Ah, not cool." Temari murmured.

"Troublesome."

"I expect my thirty bucks tomorrow." Gaara said smugly.

Temari sniggered and looked up at Shikamaru. "Bad?"

He smiled. "Nah, this is…actually…fun."

Temari grinned widely. "Just wait 'till tomorrow."

This sure beat watching the story of a reindeer that, frankly, probably was made up by a person on drugs. Really, who came up with a reindeer with a red nose that glowed? Who came up with flying reindeer period? Who came up with Santa Claus?

Yup, Kankurou had a point; the horror movie was much more realistic. And interesting.


A/N: The more I write, the weirder I think I get...