First off, I own nothing except my version of Naruto (I wish) and maybe a jutsu or two.
I am begging. Reviews tell me what is right, wrong, liked, and disliked. I love knowing people care about the story enough to say something, even if the review is simply "good job" or any other two word combination. Credit out to all my reviewers, especially those who asked good questions about the series and offered criticism.
A Child of Beast
That was a hard night. In fact it was a hard year. That very night that Naruto first had his dream, he told his parents he loved them before going back into his bedroom and slashing his wrist with a kunai. He watched as the blood poured out from the limb before sealing up within mere seconds. He cut it again, but it healed even faster. More tears started to well up in his beautiful cerulean eyes than had any right to be there as he slashed both wrists this time. It still wasn't enough. He slit across his own throat and it certainly bled more, but it wasn't enough before it healed. It seemed that he may even be making more blood to compensate for what he lost.
So he decided to go drastic. He cut off his entire right hand at the wrist and screamed in pain as it fell to the floor cold and even more as, over the next three minutes a new hand grew back in its place, complete with tan skin and the smallest soft golden hair on the back of his hand. He grasped at his new limb and curled it reflexively before taking the knife and aiming it at his eye. He took a second to psyche himself up before driving his arm back towards his face at high speeds, only to have it stopped as another hand, masculine, grabbed his wrist and twisted it to knock the knife away before he was enveloped in the arms of his surrogate brother, father, and mother. All three cried for his pain and none minded the wet blood that stained their clothes as they comforted their blonde who was, after all, still just a boy even if he was a ninja. That night, he finished sleeping with them in a medicine induced dreamless sleep and the next morning was off to see a Mr. Yamanaka and a torture specialist/psychologist, Morino Ibiki, for help.
Ibiki was not a morning person, or an evening person, or really that happy a person, nor a patient man if it didn't involve his work. He could always be patient and do whatever it took to make a shinobi speak, but that was a challenge and he enjoyed challenges. Needles, pliers, shocks, fire, drugs, cold, blades, genjutsu, threats to their family and friends and then following through on those threats. Everyone had a price, some not nearly as mundane as those listed above, and he enjoyed those who actually made him need to put his full force into finding exactly what their price was. But this was not one of those times.
He was found making pancakes for breakfast by one of his subordinates. The young man was then intimidated to within an inch of his sanity to never reveal that Ibiki wore a "Kiss the Cook" apron while cooking. Then the pancakes burned. And he ran out of creamer for his coffee so he downed it black. And he was not in the mood for black coffee. And then, to make all things worse, Maito Gai had felt the need to keep pace with him as he jumped rooftops to the Hokage Tower. And he had to listen to Gai who seemed to be on some new kick, talking about how youthful everything was. It was even worse than when Gai had been obsessed with being "hip."
So Ibiki was in a bad mood. He shoved his way through the crowds to get upstairs to the Hokage's office and opened the door roughly before gruffly saying, "What the hell do you-" only to be cut off. Naruto, Minato, Kushina, Sasuke, and Inoichi were already there and the last time that Ibiki had seen the boy like this was when he had had his nightmares of destruction a few years back. The little blonde had been one of the few to work his way into Ibiki's seemingly frozen heart. And it hurt to see the boy so despondent. "What's wrong?"
The boy looked down, ashamed. His mother held him a little closer before kissing the top of his head and just comforting the poor boy. That left it to his father to explain. "He won't tell us why, but, last night, Naruto tried to kill himself. Repeatedly. He slit his wrists, his throat, cut off a hand, and had regenerated it all before he could die. I caught him as he was trying to shove a kunai through his eye and into his brain."
That was not what Ibiki had expected from the elder blonde. He went over to the topic of conversation and tousled his hair with one hand while the other lifted the boy's chin up. "What's wrong?" he repeated.
"The dream," Naruto said. "We got another tail, a ninth, and we wanted to die. It wanted it so badly I couldn't stand it, so much that I wanted it. But, like it, I couldn't. I couldn't die." The boy looked down again, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. "Why couldn't I die? I don't want to leave you all, but why can't I just die?" the boy asked as saline trails ran down his face.
Ibiki sighed a long, drawn out sigh. "We'll help you with it kid. We'll do what we can."
The boy looked up, shocked. "You guys aren't disappointed?"
Inoichi answered that one. "Of course we are. Naruto, we know these visions of yours are real and feel real. And we know they are so real that they manifest in ways that affect you immensely. Just like how you gained all the elements erratically at first and had to train to use them effectively instead of uncontrollably, we will help you curb these urges too. Still, that doesn't mean that we aren't sad you'd try to kill yourself."
"I knew you guys wouldn't love me anymore. That none of you would-"
"Shut up, baka!" Sasuke yelled at his friend. "You're still my brother, their kid, their friend. None of that changed."
His mother continued a little more soothingly. "We do love you, but we are disappointed. If you had just told us what was wrong then we could have helped."
"How?" the boy said with a snivel. "Mr. Yamanaka can't even stop the dreams."
"No," his father said, "we may not be able to stop them. But we can show you that there is something here worth living for, stronger even than the urge to die. It's us, the village, everyone who cares for you. We would be so sad if you were gone. It would break our hearts if you left like that."
And the little blonde started weeping again, even though he didn't think he'd have any tears left after last night. "I'm sorry," he said, apologizing even while his nose ran like a faucet. "I'll never do it again. I'm sorry."
"Shh, shh," his mother calmed him, playing with his hair in a comforting manner. "It's okay. Let's just figure this out one step at a time. Okay?"
The boy stopped crying long enough to agree. And that was the start of a trying year. No new "gifts" came that year, though his elemental affinities did seem to strengthen some and he did mature greatly. Though that is debatable if it was connected to the earlier surprises or just the heavy training he was doing this year. He still always felt the urge to die when he woke, but he did manage to tame it some. He just remembered all the things in his life that made it worth living when it got too bad. Jiraiya. Sasuke. Mom. Dad. Konoha. Ramen. Yugito. They all made it worthwhile.
He, Jiraiya, and Sasuke went on several missions that year- 10 D-ranks, 10 C-ranks, and even one B-rank that really was just an overpaid C-rank. Still, the boys were excited enough about going on a "superdangerousactionpackedperilouskickass" mission that they conveniently forgot how easy it was in hindsight. Once in a while they'd drag along a Chunin so the older nin could get some experience in leading a group without having to lead too troublesome a group. Hana Inuzuka, Anko Mitarashi, and Umino Iruka all worked elsewhere in the village most of the time and were glad to take a break to lead a mission here or there when Jiraiya had to be somewhere.
The weirdest thing, though was that Naruto decided it was time to show his dream as well as he could. Just earlier that year he had learned – and was starting to abuse – the Kage Bunshin Jutsu. This jutsu allowed one to create "living" shadow clones that would dispel after one good hit and could be adjusted as needed. As concentration varied while forming, the clones' original caster could focus to have his clones' personality match the original, be given chakra for ninjutsu, have nearly the same physical strength for taijutsu, or any combination of the above and other factors. A shadow clone would often be subpar to the user unless exorbitant amounts of chakra were used to make the clone, and that's saying something considering that the technique was already chakra intensive.
Regardless, Naruto made several of these clones each morning and dispelled and recreated them throughout the day to take advantage of their biggest advantage: they returned their memories to him. That meant he could read at a intense rate, learn new skills, train taijutsu for muscle memory, learn chakra control through practice, or even learn new ninjutsu without ever doing it himself. Mind you, the technique had limits.
It was hard to look through an entire day's worth of reading when it returned to you, just because you learned a skill doesn't mean you learned it correctly, physical strength and speed didn't transfer over, his chakra control was still horrendous due to the ludicrous amount he had and was still gaining as he grew, it absolutely drained him when he had to give enough chakra to clones to practice ninjutsu for a good amount of time, and – of course – the mental and physical strain of making so many clones and then deciphering what they all did upon dispelling was horrendous. It did make it a little better when Naruto had thought to make a "lead" clone first that made the others and figured out the most pertinent information before dispelling and passing it on. And, of course, it also was a bonus that much of the clones' unused chakra returned to him when he finally mastered the technique.
But the worst and best part was the fraction of a second the clones "remembered" upon dying. It was horrifying, terrifying, absolute insanity that the clone experienced as it poofed into "nothingness." In fact, it was one of the reasons that the technique was forbidden as the experience could drive lesser men insane. But, as hard as it was to live through even once, he lived through it over a hundred times daily in order to sate the unimaginable lust for death that he had gained on his last birthday. It had been, in addition to truly finding out how much those around him cared, one of the biggest things that allowed him to not attempt suicide again as he experienced death on a daily basis. It still hurt for his parents to watch him dispel clones, though, as he often had them commit suicide upon dispelling to truly experience ending himself. It was quite macabre, but it helped him like nothing else.
The dreams broke their pattern this year. They continued on. Each night without fail he would see a little more of his dream. Each night he would see at least another decade pass as the beast challenged the strongest humans, angels, and demons in the hopes that one could kill him. But none could. And then one tied him and refused to kill them. It wasn't that this human was strong. No, she was weak, frail even. She was a beautiful woman with perfect red hair, sparkling eyes of deep emerald, and a smile that enchanted the beast. She actually was not the most gorgeous woman in the world. She didn't have the body of a model, and even had a small, unflattering mole on her right cheek. Her hands were calloused from what work she managed and her potentially perfect hair knotted up from lack of proper maintenance and frayed in the sun was no longer perfect. But the beast thought she was perfect from the first time it saw her smile, even though her teeth, like many of her time, were not perfectly straight nor blindingly white. It actually was this smile that beat the beast as, no matter how it tried, it could not bring itself to harm her.
He had always loved its creation, but had never felt the feelings that now stirred inside her. It was a new kind of attraction and the beast grew a tenth tail. It joined her in the human form of a perfect man, and courted her. And for the first time, the beast felt something new, the beast felt a new love. Not a protective love, though it was still present. Not a friendly concerned love, though he obviously was always concerned for her. It was, instead, a passionate love. And his love made her beautiful both in his eyes and quite literally changed her outside appearance to what he saw on her inside. Her hair become perfect and glossy, her teeth white and straight, her mole became an accent that only added to her beauty and the rest of her skin was flawless. Continue on with the most usual descriptions of the perfect beauty and she fit each whether it be in figure, eyes, or any other physical feature. And none denied that she was the most beautiful, perfect woman since the dawn of mankind. However, that does not even begin to touch her inner beauty and inner strength that were, if anything, more blinding than her smile.
Rumor has it, and quite a believable rumor, was that this woman was the original idea behind the samurai ideal of the Yamato Nadeshiko – a perfect woman who is both proper, gentle, and beautiful yet also knows how to stand up for what needs protection. Hell, she nearly had the beast whipped when she stood up for something.
Naruto had taken up art, learning constantly with one of his clones how to paint and draw. And when he considered himself to be at least mediocre, he started to draw his dreams. But yet, when he tried to draw the woman's face, he could not. It never turned out right. It never did her justice. Yes, she looked beautiful here, strong for her children there, and in love in a third picture. But never could they be brought together. So he refused to try to do so and draw her without her full glory. After all, the dreams affected him and he found himself loving her just as much as the beast had. Oh how he loved Usagi. That is why, in all of the redone drawings and those to follow she was faceless.
She gave the beast-man two children, a fully human son and a daughter who was just like the beast, and the last hundred years of her life. She would have given him more heirs if she could, but a third child would have been her death. And each moment spent with her felt longer and more fulfilling than all the time he had spent before her. Alas, despite the fact that the beast lengthened her life to a ridiculous extent, she was still human. And one day, in his arms, she fell asleep and refused to wake. Fulfilling his father's wish before the old beast-man could become angry and destructive, the son tried to kill him.
He sealed his father's body away, forming what would eventually be known as the moon and, despite his best attempt to "end" the man-beast, he could only split his soul into nine beast children. Each child was a different animal in form and had one to nine tails accordingly with their strength increasing with each tail. They also forgot much of their pasts and, ironically, looked up to their son as their father. The rest of the story goes on to say how he controlled them and raised them well but, when he died, the split apart to go to where they loved. The one tail going to a barren land, the two tail going to the hottest plateau, the three tail going to the deeps and so on and so forth.
The only one who remained a nomad was the nine tail who could not settle as he always felt to be missing something and felt the need to enter the most dangerous situation possible. Who felt the last need of the ninth voice better than the other eight beasts. He also felt another indescribable need to protect his aunt. Although most historians could tell you of the son and his line becoming Senju and Uchiha, few could tell you about her line. But the nine tail beast certainly could.
When Naruto turned nine, he was as powerful as some jounin without harnessing his beast and Sasuke as powerful as a strong chunin. They had each taken to their field of study quite aptly with Naruto learning fuinjutsu and ninjutsu while Sasuke found a love for genjutsu and kenjutsu. Both were highly adept at taijutsu and worked well as a two man cell. In fact, the Anbu organization had taken notice of them and, under the watchful gaze of Kakashi, were given missions that, although difficult, minimized bloodshed and killing. They were still boys and lesser missions had killed men. The cyclops did not want to break them, but to make them something unbreakable.
However, missions in Anbu were not without bloodshed and were meant to never be heard of. Naruto was only nine when he had to make his first kill. And it would haunt him for a long time. The mission was simple in idea. Break into Kusagakure, the village hidden in the grass, steal a document that would otherwise incriminate Konoha of a recent assassination, replace it with a forged document that would give nothing away, and leave unseen. And despite the difficulties in breaking into a ninja village, in stealing a guarded scroll and in forging a convincing fake, they were successful. But Naruto was the rearguard and only he saw the boy, five years old and sleepy, that had poked his head out of his bedroom with a stuffed teddy bear in hand. The boy rubbed his eyes tiredly and then looked up to see Naruto. Naruto killed the boy with a strike to the chest that simulated a violent heart attack. The boy's eyes clouded, his grip on the bear tightened in shock, and one last breath was quickly taken in before Naruto caught the boy, snuck him back into bed and into a natural pose and escaped.
He remained silent until they had made it out. Until they made it back to Fire Country the next morning. Until the made it back to Konoha. Until he was asked to detail his side of the mission. Until the others left and his dad embraced him. Then he wept until he fell asleep. He had killed a boy just a few years younger than he. An innocent little boy who had just woken up at the wrong time. Who had not done anything against Konoha but be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
But when he woke up, he did not find what he expected. He was not in a warm bed at home or a white hospital bed, or a bed at all for that matter. He was wrapped up in gold-red fur that comforted him. He wanted to close his eyes to sleep, but he could not. He was a ninja in a strange place and it was his duty to find out where. He lifted himself up, only to find himself in a dark place. Using a small fire ball jutsu, he tried to light up the area around himself but only revealed that he could not see the walls and ceiling despite his impromptu lantern, though he could see the floor. He could tell that he was on a hill or mound of some sort and climbed down so that the hill would give him some cover.
That is until two golden, majestic eyes with slit pupils opened and gave off a light of their own. They also unfocused and looked around before spotting him and focusing in again. All of a sudden, the hill he had just left stood up and the room was edged with fire as huge braziers were lit around him illuminating a huge den that felt like it was underground, though any ceiling was still out of sight.
They also revealed a humongous nine tail fox with pointed ears whose belly was easily on par with the height of the Hokage Tower. It growled slightly, scaring the boy shitless, before lunging forward, opening its massive maw, and, just as the end seemed near, licking the boy from toe to top.
"What the hell did they make you do? Why would your father make you kill him? What has changed?" said a voice that was powerful and demanding and, almost, protective. "A boy like you was never meant to kill, especially not so young. And a boy like him was not meant to die so young."
"Is this real?" was the first question Naruto had to ask. Oh, sure he was the Kyuubi's jailor but the elusive bastard had never shown himself before and no matter how deep inside the blonde dived he could never meet his captive before.
"Well, yes," the fox stated. "You see a gigantic fox beast that towers over you, inside of a large room, blazing with chakra, infuriated, who once attacked your village and your first response was to ask, 'Is this real?'" questioned the fox with some incredulity. "I expected arrogance or fear, but not disbelief."
"Well excuse me, you bastard, if I'm surprised to see something I've been taught is a heartless demon sympathizing with me over my first kill. I think you'd be more surprised if I took it all in stride," Naruto returned with sorrow leaving and impatience filling in for the moment.
"Well, yes, I suppose that is true. Nevertheless, I consider you a distant son due to our relation and the fact that you had to kill so young really does have me wound up a little. I mean, seriously, what the fuck went wrong with you all in the past hundred years or so?" the fox wondered aloud "First I help someone on my father's side against who he called an overly virtuous prick – lesson learned there by the way – only to be sealed into someone on aunt Emi's side and then into another on her side, neither of whom would talk with me, and then to be hypnotized by another man on my dad's side to attack my previous captors before finally finding, and being sealed into, the only true demi-human since my aunt. Can I just say that I've only been sealed for seventy years or so and this whole "ninja village" thing that started seems pretty fucked up to me. Sure, it may be better than the old way but you still have child soldiers, you're all too flashy now, you still seal what you call "demons" inside of children and now you have children running black operations? What the hell is with that? And another thing, how are you the "village hidden in the leaves?" Anyone who wants to know where you guys are can just follow down the road to your dang gates. How the hell is that hidden?"
The ranting beast looked down at the boy only to see a look of intense confusion. "What? Talking giant fox got your tongue?"
"Yes!" screamed Naruto back. "And what the hell do you mean 'son' and 'aunt?' I am by no means a fox and how many of you giant foxes are there for you to have an aunt?"
"Well," paused the Kyuubi, "it may be best to start at the beginning. But it may take a while."
"Go ahead," the boy grumbled, "I've got a while. After all, I'm asleep, probably tranquilized by meds to keep me from going into shock, and probably won't wake up for at least a day. As it is, I'm having trouble believing this isn't a dream brought on by either shock or meds. Try me."
The fox puffed out a large breath from his nostrils. "You really do take after aunt Emi." The fox continued to look at him for a few minutes before figuring out where to start. "Well, what I'll tell you tonight is exactly what happened, to the best of my memory. I'm sure you have heard of the Sage of Six Paths?" The boy nodded. "Well, he was the child of a woman I don't remember and of the Juubi, the combination of myself and I – you may better understand if I simply call us siblings – into one being. The sage, my siblings all called him father as he did raise us, was human. He was much stronger than any normal human due to being our offspring, but he was still human. You probably have heard how he had two human sons – one who inherited the Sharingan eye and one who gained the capability for the Rinnegan – who became fathers of the Uchiha and Senju lines, respectively. Most know this story and believe it myth, but it is true.
"What most people do not know is of his sister. She too was of ourself and our mate, but was not human where her brother was. No, she did not have our strength, but she did have a huge lifespan and her strength was about equal with father's. She inherited her mother's beauty, father said, and much of ourself's personality. We all loved aunt Emi dearly." The fox stopped for a second, stalling in slight nostalgia and fond remembrance.
Naruto found the story interesting, but had known parts of the story from his dreams. "I know much of this, Kyuubi. But why does it matter for me? And why do you talk as if you don't remember your own children, instead calling them aunt and father?"
The beast stopped for a moment. "Please don't call me nine tail. It is as good as me calling you fleshling or no tail instead of Naruto which, I believe, is your name. I have only woken recently, so forgive me if I cannot recall all that I should be able to access from here. However, enough of your open memories have that name for me to guess it yours. My name, given to me by father, is Kurama. But now, your questions. The latter is easier to answer. We did not remember more than a whisper of what we were together. I am only a few centuries, maybe eight or nine, old in my memories. I can only remember some of the deepest wishes of my brethren in my deepest dreams. So I am not ourself anymore, nor was I.
"But the first question needs me tell more of the story. Apparently aunt Emi had been given our tenth dream, our tenth voice, one that not even I may remember. But what we do know is that she had children by many men over the years before she fell to time's ravages. The two most prominent became known as Uzumaki and Namikaze. The lines grew stronger and stronger over time, especially in the minds of the Namikaze and the bodies of the Uzumaki. As far as I know, you are the first to be of both lines and have inherited her essence.
"I have seen you perform feats of great power and elemental control when I have scanned your memories for these past few weeks I have been awake. Those are natural for you and have not been part of the boon of containing me. You are very much like we were when we were merely your age. By the time we turned twenty, we had come into nearly our full power though it, obviously, took us centuries after to fine tune all that we can do. Like aunt Emi, you seem to have gained your power before even puberty and will soon rival us with the right training and control, even despite your small human form."
"What about the dreams?" the boy finally spoke up. "The dreams I've had since birth." At the fox's inquisitive look he continued. "It all starts with nothing before a being creates land, fire, water, and other creatures before giving them intelligence, having to destroy them, rebuilding us humans afterwards, giving us the understanding of chakra, and then wishing to die when it can find no meaning. My dreams have lately ended with the being finding a human woman and loving her, having two children who I take to be your father and aunt, and then ending."
Kurama was not sure how to respond as he was not sure himself. He continued after a moment. "It is possible that those are my hidden memories, or that they have traveled through your blood and are aunt Emi's. There may even be other reasons, but those two are most likely. In either case, my reason for being is ending and I have to imagine that the other listed acts are the passions of my siblings. Regardless, it is interesting."
The fox thought for a moment. "I have done two things since father died. I have tried to find ways to, in effect, die and I have watched over my aunt's line. Not even attacking the strongest human village could kill me, even under that man's hypnosis, and I have not watched her line in over half a century, not since I was sealed. I remember father saying that aunt Emi always had a dream of her own, and that her dream was our duty to fulfill. But she would never say what it was. Do you have such an internal dream?"
"No," Naruto said without hesitation. He had never felt something since birth, at least didn't think so. "I've always wanted to follow my father as Hokage and protect the people of this village. But she wouldn't have had that dream if the villages didn't exist. But it is mine to protect them all as if they were family. Even to have a family of my own one day, a wife and children and happiness like what my parents have. But for now I've just been going along with getting stronger and helping my village family as I can." But sometimes… "I feel empty," he finished with a whisper.
The fox arched a single brow. "What was that?"
"Protecting my village?" the boy said. "Or becoming a Hokage?"
"Neither. You said you feel empty."
The boy looked a little ashamed at peered at the ground. "I know it's wrong. I know it's conceited. I have a great family, good friends, have been blessed with talent, and have a good future ahead of me. But, it sometimes feels like something is missing," he said as a hand hovered between his heart and the seal. "Something right here." He felt a tear or two fall from his eyes. "And look at me crying about it. I'm such a brat to complain." He was only broken out of his funk when a large pink tongue swept up his body from toe to head again. "Would you stop doing that?" he yelled in righteous fury as he stood up from the ground where he had landed on his butt.
"Hmmph," the fox snorted. "It's how I show compassion. So get over it."
"Kurama-baka."
"Naruto-baka. You don't even get it, do you? That desire of yours, that empty feeling, that is the wish I was looking for. For a long time I have felt it too, the feeling of missing a piece of myself. I haven't felt as complete in years as I did when I first woke up inside you."
"Then maybe all we need is to find your brothers and sisters. Maybe we should come back together again." The boy was unsure why bringing together the various tailed beasts sounded like a good idea, but it really kinda did. Especially since he was in essence one and the fox and him seemed to get along.
"Maybe," the fox conceded. "It would be nice to see them again."
They paused for a moment. "Did you really get beaten by a cat on your first mission?" asked the giant fox.
"Tora is a demon!" the boy responded without hesitation and, quickly, the talk deteriorated into stories of their pasts, the fox having enough stories to last several lifetimes. Though yes, it seemed Tora the cat may have some demonic lineage. It was only what seemed like several hours, maybe a full day, later that Naruto felt tired.
"It is the otherworld calling you back," the fox said as he lifted the boy back onto his back where had once slept, lifting him with a single gigantic palm. "So go. Tell them what you think wise, but be cautious, brother. Son. Whatever we are."
"Okay, Kurama," the boy said, yawning as he burrowed into the fur a little. "And friend. If nothing else, then definitely friend." The boy closed his eyes. "Good night."
The lights dimmed and the fox too felt tired. He had not talked so much in decades. "Yes, I can definitely say friends," the fox whispered to the sleeping ninja on his back. A little innocent blonde boy who was now officially bathed in the blood of an innocent. It really was tragic.
Thank you to Naruto Game of the Year Edition for introducing me to the idea of the yamato nadeshiko. It is an interesting trope that is amazing when done well and I hope that if (as I might) I use it for a main character in the future I will be able to do it justice.
And that is where I stop for the night.
Yet again, I am begging. Reviews tell me what is right, wrong, liked, and disliked. I love knowing people care about the story enough to say something, even if the review is simply "good job" or any other two word combination. I am not a professional writer and I respect criticism in the highest and wish to receive it. Good night, beautiful and not so beautiful people of the interwebs.
