Sorry for keeping you waiting. Here's the second chapter. Enjoy!

The Roman Rappers Part 2: Leo's Return

7:00 P.M.

After seven epic testosterone-fuelled hours of waiting in the line, Leonardo finally got what he wanted: thirteen cans of paint packed neatly into boxes that look suspiciously like the ones American milkmen carry around to transport their milk bottles. After thanking the paint shop's proprietor, the artist started walking back to his workshop. Suddenly, feeling the signature da Vinci need to gawk at his surroundings in wonder, he looked straight up to the starry Roman night sky.

But something was a bit...off.

'Why on Earth are there lights coming out of the ground?' Leo thought. He decided not to fight his monstrous curiosity and followed the strange lights, hoping to find it's source. (It was a Friday night, by the way) Thirty minutes later, he got there. What he found shocked him so much that all he could do was mutter a horrified "Diavolo..."

His workshop was surrounded by an infantry company-sized angry mob, armed to the teeth with torches, pitchforks, brooms, and lutes. At the forefront of this was none other than one of Ezio's protégés, Francesco Vecellio. The dude looked like he'd gotten a rude awakening, which he probably had. All he had on his person was his hidden blade. "Hey, Messer da Vinci!" he yells, knocking on the workshop's door "Turn it down, will you? They can hear you at il Vaticano!" Leonardo excused himself through the crowd and said "Messer Vecellio, I'm not inside." "Wha? Messer da Vinci! If you're not in there, then who is?" Francesco asks in disbelief, having thought that Leonardo was inside. "Excuse me..." Leonardo pushed the Assassin aside and tried to look for a hole. Failing this, he turned to Francesco and asked him if he could use his hidden blade to punch a hole through the door. He does so with one thrust, backs off, and lets Leonardo peek inside the workshop.

Leonardo couldn't believe what he saw inside; Salai turned his humble workshop into the bastion of hedonism! On the floors could you see three passed-out whores, one giant mercenario about 2.2 meters tall, and a Papal Guard getting blowed by prostitute, all of whom were lying in a puddle of an unholy mix of alcohol, seed, and sweat. On Leo's desk were a tray full of ale mugs, while near the walls were a couple of dudes peeing and vomiting. And dangling by a thick rope from the ceiling, was the Apple of Eden being used as a freakin' disco ball. And it was playing Laura Branigan's song "Gloria" on full blast. Leonardo stared at what happened, mouth agape. Francesco waved his hand in front of Leo's face, hoping to elicit a reaction. Then, Leonardo's eye twitched, then his fists clenched, then he started growling, before handing his paint cans over to Francesco, telling him to "take care of them while I knock some sense at these idiots."

Leonardo da Vinci getting angry was a tad bit out of character for someone known for his ever-present smile, but seeing what the bastardi did to his precious drawings and his newest portrait commission, it

is kind of understandable why he would get so pissed. The reasons include (but are not limited to):

1. Getting puke, alcohol, seed, and piss all over his workshop

2. Using a priceless and ancient artifact entrusted to him by one of his closest friends and sought after by the most powerful men in the world, containing vast sums of knowledge and has the capability of laying waste to entire armies on a whim as a disco ball, and

3. Painting a Captain Price-style handlebar moustache on what would become Mona Lisa's famous face.

He looked all around the room, trying to get something to elicit these drunk ravers' attention. He found a gun; a wheellock, holding one round in the chamber. It probably belonged to one of the Papal Guards inside. Leonardo made a few adjustments before taking aim at the rope that was as thick as a German Tiger tank's frontal armor. He pulls the trigger, the gun fires, the bullet leaves the barrel, smoke gets left behind, the rope gets cut, the Apple descends into freefall, and lands into some cazzo's crotch.

"YAAAAOOOOWWWW!"

Turns out that cazzo was Salai.

Leonardo shook his head and put down the rifle. He spoke to the crowd "Listen, everyone. This is a workshop, okay? Not a social event. If you could just clean the place up and leave, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you." Fortunately, everyone who attended Salai's little party knew who Leonardo da Vinci was. After all, they've seen at least one copy of his work all around Roma, being reproduced for any art collector out there. They all left as a sign of respect to the man, with those who still have some measure of soberness left in them carrying those who are already too fucked up to even stand. Leonardo turned to the angry mob outside and said to Francesco "Well, problem solved. Francesco, it's getting little bit late. Can you convince these people to go home?" Francesco just nodded and ordered the crowd to leave. Once everyone went their separate ways, Leonardo got inside and proceeded to close the door. But before he could do so..."Messer da Vinci, can I just say one word to Salai?" asked one Papal Guard. The artist looked at his assistant, who was lying on the floor like a Persian carpet "Umm...I don't think-" "SALAI! BEST PARTY EVER! WHOO!" Leonardo pushed the Guard away and shut the door. (It didn't help that the Guard looked like Darren Criss in Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night")

Leonardo surveyed the damage. Hmm, where do I start describing what the insides of the workshop looked like? Let's see: Leonardo's desk got flipped over; the designs for some of his inventions were splattered with alcohol; Mona Lisa having a handlebar moustache; graffiti on the walls saying with vulgar takes on Biblical inscriptions, and puddles of unholy substances all over the floor.

Salai should give a good explanation for this...

Don't worry, guys, there's more.

P.S.

In case you guys are wondering why I put in a Katy Perry reference, well, having a little sister who listens to her will do that to ya.

Till I update again!