AN: alright , you guys asked for it and here it is. It isn't much or even the greatest but I did try. I hope you enjoy it some what. Don't forget to leave me some love down below! For anyone who reads my other story 'Bared to You.' I am working on chapter 5, it's just taking me longer creativity to write out this chapter ( for whatever stupid reason).
And thanks again to my beta Ryan- you're a real one!
Enjoy!
Her fingers danced skillfully over the plastic keys, the clacking being one of the very few sounds in the otherwise quiet room. Her blue eyes focused on the bright screen in front of her, flicking between a file and the screen as she carefully typed out the essential points on said file.
Silence reigned as the other two or so detectives sat at their respective desks, finishing up their paperwork before calling it a night. It was a quarter past ten when the two male detectives had finally left the squad room, leaving Amanda alone. Fin and Carisi had long gone, not wasting the opportunity to leave early on a Friday evening.
Amanda, however, had other plans.
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched her Lieutenant in her office, the other woman's brown eyes shifting between the file at her side and her laptop, working on the last of the paperwork off their latest case.
Ever since their kiss, they'd been eh...shy around each other. Barely able to look each other in the eyes for long before turning away. Two days had passed, and Amanda could still feel the older woman's lips on hers, could still taste the ever-so-faint wine dancing on her tongue.
Olivia had disappeared without a word after their kiss, leaving Amanda confused, high, and admittedly a bit hurt. She had not a clue as to what had triggered the event, as much as she'd like to know. She had a lot of questions, she'd admit. Was it a one-off thing? Hell, had Olivia been drunk? Had it even meant anything to Olivia? The entire situation was weird, like a mere fantasy instead of real life. The questions were endless and all she could think about.
Amanda had sat on her couch for an hour after the kiss, feeling near high, pinching herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.
She was sick of being confused. She didn't like this helpless feeling, like Olivia was holding all the cards and Amanda was stuck begging to be clued in on what the hell was happening between them. Amanda pushed her chair back, standing and quickly walking around her desk, going straight to Olivia's office door.
A few confident knocks echoed throughout her office. Olivia's brown eyes lifted to meet with Amanda's icy blue. The blonde didn't step into the room as Olivia had hoped she would, instead leaning against the door frame, arms across her chest.
'Yes?'
Amanda chewed at her bottom lip, all of her previous bravado flooding out of her as soon as she needed it. She paused, unsure of how to open the conversation. 'We need to talk.' Is finally what she settled on.
Olivia dropped her head with a sigh. She'd known she would have to explain herself. That didn't mean she was eager to have the conversation.
Removing her glasses, Olivia shut off her laptop, standing from her seat.
She could feel Amanda's eyes on her as she slowly walked around her desk. Olivia finally perched on the edge of her desk. 'Close the door.'
Amanda didn't move for a moment, and then she nodded, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind her as instructed, Amanda hovered uncertainly before walking further into the office, nervousness be damned.
'Look at me.' Amanda didn't know where the command came from, but she was more surprised to find that she wasn't absolutely mortified to have said it.
Olivia licked her lips, suddenly realizing how dry they were, head pounding as her heartbeat stumbled and tripped, acid rising in the back of her throat. Slowly, she lifted her head, and…
What she was met with wasn't what she expected. She expected...disgust. Maybe pity if she was lucky. But instead, she was met with uncertainty, nervousness, maybe even slight fear.
'Wha...what's going on, 'Liv?'
Olivia swallowed dryly, and if she tensed up then could you blame her? 'I-'
'You kissed me and then...left.' Amanda reminded the older woman, her right hand brushing a back a stray strand of her hair- a nervous tic.
'I know.'
Amanda inched closer to the woman in front of her, feeling the sudden urge to take the brunette's hand into hers and quickly resisting it, 'What's going on?' She repeated, voice cracking despite the insistence in it.
Olivia gave a low, defeated sigh; she knew she had to explain herself. No matter the fact that A) talking about ~feelings~ made her just about want to crawl out of her skin, and B) she had no idea how she was about to explain herself. It was entirely unfair to leave Amanda hanging, when Olivia herself had started this entire mess on a split-second, incredibly too impulsive decision.
Where Olivia decided she'd start probably wasn't the most conventional place to start, probably not even a good place to start, but since when did she make good choices?
'Brian didn't tell me much- all he said was that you cared.' She looked at Amanda to make sure the other woman wasn't confused out of her mind- which, judging by how she nodded, motioning Olivia to continue, she wasn't. 'But you're the only other woman that I am close too- the only other person i'm close to to be honest-' Olivia sighed again, hand running through her hair.
'I don't know how to say this...' Olivia admitted, the older woman silently pleading with Amanda to understand.
Amanda gave her a small smile, biting at the inside of her cheek, trying to hide just how nervous she actually was- she didn't want to assume where this was going and...
'We've gotten so close, I-I trust you more than you could ever understand, and it's not easy for me to trust-'
'I know.' Amanda interrupted, earning a soft chuckle from the woman in front of her.
'My...' Olivia cleared her throat, glancing down to the floor again, 'My feelings for you...they've gone past friendship, and I don't know how, or-or when but-'
She was cut off by Amanda's lips crashing against her own, the brunette sighing softly into it when the younger woman's hands fell to her hips.
That sigh was quickly turned into a moan when the blonde licked at the seam of her lips, asking for permission that Olivia readily granted.
Their tongues danced, taking in the other's flavor. Olivia's fingers threaded into Amanda's hair, short nails scratching at the blonde's scalp while she pulls the blonde closer to her.
Olivia gave a soft moan, Amanda smiling to herself even as her hands slid under Olivia's blouse, cold palms smoothing over the older woman's warm skin.
Amanda's fingers traced over Olivia's waist, the feeling of the brunette's warm olive skin beneath her hands sending a tingling sensation throughout Amanda's body.
Olivia broke their heated kiss, holding back a chuckle at seeing Amanda's disappointed frown, 'I've been wanting to...do that for so long. I was scared to, though.' Olivia admitted softly.
Amanda met Olivia's gaze, holding it, 'Scared of what?'
Olivia closed her eyes, pushing back the hot tears pricking at the edges of her eyes, sighing deeply, 'Relationships and I...we never work out and I-...I was scared to fall again. I'm still scared.'
Amanda leaned in, pressing a quick, gentle kiss to Olivia's lips, 'I can't promise you forever-' Amanda could see Olivia's heart drop into the pit of her stomach and she quickly continued with her sentence.
'I can only promise you right now, if you can do the same?'
A small smile stretched across Olivia's lips and she nodded, 'Of course.'
Their lips met once before but their kiss ended before it could really begin, 'Let's get out of here- have a drink, before we have to go back to our kiddos.' She suggested as she brushed back a strand of Olivia's hair.
Olivia nodded, 'Sounds great.'
Amanda smiled at her, glancing back at the door,
'I've gotta go get my stuff together, so you've got a minute.' Amanda moved to turn, letting out an incredibly undignified squeak when Olivia grabbed her wrist, tugging her back.
Before Amanda could ask what she was doing, Olivia had pulled her in, pressing a soft, quick kiss to Amanda's lips before pulling back. Just a flash of heat before Olivia was pulling back, grinning.
'Now you can go.'
