Bilbo sobbed into the pillow beside him, ignoring the moonlight filtering through the window of his bedroom. He could care less about anything in the world, anything at all that didn't involve his dwarf... his dwarf that he lost. He let out a scream of utter frustration at not being able to tell his dwarf of his pure love... of their pure and undying love for each other. But the battle had forbidden that possibility...
The hobbit had followed Thorin into battle despite the dwarf prince's wishes. They had fought together throughout the battle between the orcs, goblins, men, and elves. Both did not have their heart set on losing one another to the hands of some scum who wanted the bloody gold of Erebor. Bilbo had been there when Thorin was struck down; he had been unable to reach him in time...
The morning of the following day would come, and Bilbo would cry and cry with the sadness and loss of his king. He wouldn't stay for the funeral, for fear of wanting to kill himself to be with the one whom he would always love. The road to the Shire would be long and sobering; Bilbo would keep to himself and not acknowledge anyone, even Gandalf and Lord Elrond wouldn't matter to the hobbit whose only wish was to die.
Bilbo had gone from a very respectable hobbit who cared about what everyone thought of him, to a depressed hobbit whose final dream was to see the one he dearly missed... the one who he couldn't save...
Now, Bilbo cried his heart out, or what was left of it, and hugged the pillow beside him as if it were the great Thorin Oakenshield comforting him once more.
To add to his ever-growing and undying misery, Bilbo felt the familiar warmth and weight of the dwarf prince's large hand on his small and shaking shoulder. He let out a cry of pain as the warmth settled around him, curling around him like a barrier keeping out the waves of a terrible sea. "Go away," he muttered tearfully to the person behind him. "I don't need you right now." He knew it was Thorin, the dwarf prince had plagued his dreams for the past few hours of sleep he had just had. "Get out of my head," he sobbed, still hugging the pillow tightly against his chest.
"Bilbo," came the soothing deep voice of the dwarf prince. "Bilbo."
The hobbit slapped a large hand away from his waist as the dwarf hugged him closer. "No, Thorin. You need to leave... or I need to wake up..."
"Wake up?" Thorin asked to himself. "Why on earth would you need to wake up?"
Bilbo huffed tearfully and struggled out of Thorin's grip. "I do not want you right now..." He sighed quietly and buried his face in the fluffy pillow. "I need to wake up... Why don't you just disappear again and leave me in peace," he suggested to Thorin who was at a loss for words. He heard the dwarf prince sigh heavily and stand from the bed.
"I know you have had many nightmares of the battle," Thorin began, shrugging his coat back on. "But do not push me away, Bilbo." He bent down to press a light kiss to the crying hobbit's head. "We both need each other."
Bilbo sniffled and shook his head. "I can do this on my own; I don't need you anymore."
Thorin frowned at the hobbit's words. "What are you talking about?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Bilbo?"
"I said I don't need you anymore." He turned to face the dwarf prince whose face held an expression of utter heartbreak. "Get out of my dreams and get out of my life!" Bilbo pushed Thorin away as the dwarf leaned to embrace him. "I don't need you anymore... You're dead and I'm alive... That doesn't work here."
"Bilbo Baggins," Thorin said slowly. "What in Middle Earth are you talking about?" He moved towards the fussy hobbit and gently grabbed Bilbo's wrists and forced the hobbit to lean against his strong chest. "We are here, together. I do not understand what is wrong... Tell me."
"I am trying to," Bilbo huffed, struggling to become free of Thorin's strong hold. "What do you not get? You died a year ago and still you won't leave me for good."
Thorin looked taken aback. "Bilbo, why would leave you for good?"
"You're dead!" the hobbit hissed. "I had a dream about you again, and when I woke up, you weren't here. I... I... I am tired of missing you... so just leave my life forever."
"I am sorry, Bilbo," Thorin apologized, kissing the hobbit's curls. "But I cannot leave you."
"Why not?!"
Thorin turned Bilbo in his arms and lifted the hobbit's chin so that Thorin could look into his eyes. "I cannot leave you, because I love you too much to do that to you."
Bilbo let out a choked sob. "B-but you died!"
"Bilbo, listen to me," Thorin said softly. "I am alive. We are alive. Do you not remember anything?"
The hobbit shook his head slowly; his green eyes filled with despair and sadness and fear.
Thorin sighed. "I lived; you saved my life, Bilbo. On the day I was struck down on the battlefield, you came to my side as you always have and I lived. I lived because of you. The Shire, you wanted to return to the Shire because you thought I was dead. I followed you, do you not remember that? The many times of peril you faced? I saved your life just as you did mine. Bilbo, I am here with you in the Shire because you let me in. You let me become your soul-mate. You let me love you... You've had nightmares of the day I died... But I am here." He lifted Bilbo's face with his finger and kissed the hobbit's wet lips softly. "And I will be here forever. Only if that is alright with you, Âzyungâl."
"Y-you... It was just a dream?" Bilbo asked fearfully, gazing up into Thorin's very much alive sapphire eyes. "Y-you're here...?"
Thorin smiled. "Yes, Bilbo. I am here." He laid back onto the soft bed, pulling Bilbo down with him. The hobbit curled into his side and buried his tear-stained face in the crook of Thorin's neck, the soft tears moistening the dwarf's skin. "And I love you, Bilbo."
"I love you as well, Thorin," Bilbo answered, sighing with relief to know that everything in his life was fine. Thorin was alive and he would stay that way until the day he died for real. "Erebor," he laughed lightly. "Do you think it's still living... with Kili in charge?"
Thorin chuckled and pulled his hobbit closer. "Of course. It is probably not as prosperous, but with Fili in the Blue Mountains, I think it's the best my youngest nephew can do."
Bilbo felt himself smile. "I want to return... soon..."
"We will, Âzyungâl," Thorin assured. "We will."
