After a long time turning worries, possibilities and outcomes over in her head, Sian gradually became aware that she had no idea what the movie was about, who the main character was, or why she had been shocked out of her reverie by a collective gasp from the room.

'What?' she asked instinctively, making out three shocked faces in the darkness.

Sophie turned to face Sian. 'She just got pushed off the flamin' building!' Sophie told her, pointing dramatically to the screen.

'Who?' Sian asked, inspecting the television. 'What building?'

'Where've you been for the last hour?' Sophie asked, turning her lips up in a smile.

Sian swallowed nervously. 'Um ... I guess I just, lost track of the plot.'

'Keep it down would ya Sian?' Ryan grumbled from her other side. 'I can't hear what they're saying.'

Sophie rolled her eyes at Ryan's interjection and Sian frowned, leaning back in her seat and trying to concentrate on the screen. She gave up immediately when she felt the tips of Sophie's fingers stroke lightly against the top of her arm. She turned her head and met Sophie's concerned gaze.

'Are you okay?' Sophie asked quietly.

Sian looked down at Sophie's fingers, the way they tickled over the embers of her burning skin. 'Yeah, course. Why?' she said, her voice slightly croaky.

Sophie shrugged. 'You just seem a bit ... distracted. And fidgety.'

Sian's eyes widened. 'Sorry,' she said, folding her arms across her chest as if to trying and wrestle her body still.

Ryan cleared his throat noisily in irritation.

'Oh shut up Ryan,' Sophie said loudly. 'It's not exactly difficult to follow.'

'Sian seems to be having enough trouble,' he muttered, retracting his hand from his girlfriend's thigh. 'She probably can't hear it over your gabbing,' he added.

'Uh, drop dead?' Sophie suggested helpfully, with an earnest raise of her eyebrows.

Lee watched the exchange from his armchair, seemingly amused at how quickly his girlfriend seized opportunities to put Ryan in his place.

Ryan scowled at the television and Sophie extended an arm around Sian's shoulders. Sian's eyes went wide as she felt the tickle of Sophie's fingers trail across her shoulders, and round to rest at the nape of her neck. Her whole body felt like it was on hyper-alert. She could feel every single nerve ending jump to attention and demand that Sian focused on nothing but Sophie's soft ministrations. She felt Sophie gently brush along the wisps of hair that had escaped being gathered up into her ponytail, and then down to where the neckline of her t-shirt began. Her eyes drifted closed.

'Babe.'

The sound of Lee's voice forced Sian's eyes open again. She felt Sophie's fingers cease their movement as she turned her head to look at her boyfriend. 'What?' she asked.

'Come sit over here with me,' he said, jerking his head.

Sophie looked at Sian with a smile that Sian weakly responded to. Sophie stood up, leaving Sian to practically fall into the space she left, and walked over to sprawl across the arm of Lee's chair. Sian's body suddenly felt cold all over, even as Ryan shifted closer and lifted his arm to drape it around her shoulders. She looked dejectedly at the television for a few seconds before standing up abruptly.

'I need some air,' she told Ryan quietly.

He opened his mouth to add words to accompany the confusion on his face, but she left before he could, pacing swiftly through the corridor to the hall and pulling desperately at the front door. She shut the door behind her and leaned heavily against it, rubbing her hand up her forehead and across her hair. The sky was growing dark outside, like a veil had been draped over the repeating shapes of the terraces. Sian shivered as the cold air sank into her skin, prickling the hairs on her arms in their pathetic attempt to keep her warm. She rubbed at them fiercely, stepping forward a few paces and exhaling puffs of steamed breath out into the dark.

She felt completely hollow, like her desire for Sophie was eating away a cavernous hole inside of her. There was no one she could talk to. Usually when she fancied someone Sophie would be the first person to hear about it. And they would discuss it at length. She had never considered the fact that Sophie would ever be the subject of one of these conversations. She could never tell her. Even if Sophie did feel the same way, or even if she was slightly curious, her Christianity forbade the sort of things Sian was feeling.

Sian closed her eyes to the world, willing it to go away.

She heard the door behind her, and she knew who it was even before they spoke.

'Sian?'

Sian opened her eyes and the world came rushing back. She turned to face Sophie, who stood in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest, the breeze picking up her hair and swirling it softly around her face.

'Hi,' Sian answered feebly.

'Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?' Sophie asked grumpily, stepping down from the door step and shutting the door behind her. Sian shuffled over to accommodate her.

'There's nothing wrong, Soph,' she answered.

'Sian, I'm your best friend,' Sophie told her, her face conveying all the determination of not letting Sian wriggle out of it. 'I know when something's up. You've been acting dead weird all week. Just tell me.'

Sian squeezed her eyes shut tight, knowing that as much as Sophie wanted to help, the last thing she would want to hear was the truth.

'Is it something I've done?' Sophie prompted.

Sian opened her eyes and shook her head slowly. The lines of Sophie's face were hard, her brow creased slightly, her eyes scanning Sian's face for the truth.

'You haven't done anything,' Sian told her quietly.

'Is it Ryan?' Sophie asked.

Sian swallowed. '... sort of.'

Sophie rolled her eyes and huffed out an exasperated breath. 'I knew it,' she said, more to herself than to Sian. 'What's he done now?'

Sian searched her mind to find something credible to say. Ryan had done lots of stupid things, but for some reason none of them sprang enthusiastically to the forefront of her mind. 'He ... he's just ...' Sian stalled.

Sophie waited expectantly.

'I ... I don't think I like him, you know, like that ... anymore,' Sian answered finally.

Sophie frowned. 'Oh,' was all she said. She appeared to be deep in thought. 'Really?' she asked.

Sian nodded and shook her head in one fluid motion. 'I don't know,' she said. 'I just ... it just don't feel right.'

Sophie furrowed her brow for a few moments before appearing to accept and understand this answer. 'I know what you mean,' she said.

Sian's eyebrows shot up. 'You ... you do?' she asked, her stomach flipping and her fists clenching at the prospect of Sophie possibly deciphering her cryptic answer.

'Yeah,' Sophie nodded. 'I don't know if I like Lee that much either,' she continued.

'Oh ... right.' Sian didn't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved.

'I know I'm meant to like him,' Sophie said, sitting down on the short wall that lined the path to the front door.

Sian reflexively sat down next to her.

'And he's fit an all,' Sophie supposed, looking at Sian. 'But ... it don't feel like, special or anything.'

Sian twitched the corner of her mouth into a sad smile. 'Yeah,' she agreed.

'I thought that being in love with someone is meant to be this ... thing you can't control. Like, you think about them all the time until it feels like you're going crazy,' Sophie explained.

Sian watched Sophie carefully, following the flamboyant hand gestures that accompanied what she was saying, letting her words sink in slowly.

'And all you want to do is kiss them and be with them all the time,' Sophie continued.

Sian's mouth parted slightly as Sophie's description chimed perfectly with her own turmoil.

'And I just don't get that with Lee,' Sophie concluded before waiting for a response from Sian.

'I don't get that with Ryan either,' Sian said, after blinking rapidly and clearing her throat.

Sophie shrugged like she wasn't particularly bothered either way. 'Maybe it's something that happens,' she wondered out loud. 'Over time. If you spend enough time together.'

Sian tilted her head sceptically. 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I think sometimes you just know.'

'Yeah,' Sophie agreed, noticing the flaws in her theory, 'Otherwise you and me would've gotten together by now, the amount of time we spend hangin' out,' Sophie added with a cheeky grin.

Sian's eyes widened and she stuttered due to her sudden lack of an appropriate response.

'Chill out Sian,' Sophie said with an eye roll. 'I'm only kiddin'.'

Sian closed her eyes briefly, trying to siphon off the tears that were threatening to begin.

'Hey,' Sophie said softly, wrapping her arms around Sian and pulling her against her body. 'Don't worry. Just chuck Ryan if you don't like him. It's that simple,' she advised.

Sian pulled back from the embrace, roughly palming a tear from her cheek. 'It's never that simple Soph,' she said sadly.

Sophie looked puzzled, like Sian was speaking a foreign language and she just couldn't for the life of her make out what she was saying. Sophie's hands on Sian's body was too much, and Sian pushed them from her, standing up and wiping away more tears.

'Tell Ryan I've gone home 'cos I don't feel well,' she requested quietly as she backed away from Sophie, who sat regarding the whole peculiar display from her position on the wall.

'Do you want me to walk you home?' she asked, standing up.

Sian shook her head vigorously before turning away and walking briskly down the street.

'I'll text you!' she heard Sophie call after her. She broke into a run.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't be around Sophie when she felt like this. It was tearing her apart.

She knew it now. It wasn't as simple as attraction, and it wasn't a passing teenage crush, as she had previously hoped it was.

It was love.

And it was destroying her.

...