Ball and Chain

Disclaimer: I own no intellectual property belonging to Joss Whedon or anything connected to Gilligan's Island.

After the events of last night, Xander decided he needed a hobby. If he wasn't going to be hunting vamps, he needed something to do with his time, but what were his interests? Comic collecting was a fun pastime, but the prices could get a bit ridiculous and he really didn't have the money for it. That applied to most collecting hobbies when you thought about it. Model building got a bit repetitive, not to mention once again, the cost. What he needed was something that was fun, occupied his time, and made him money. He needed a job.

A week later...

"What happened to your arm?" Willow asked as class ended, since she rarely saw him outside of school lately.

"He probably jerked off too hard and fell off his bed," Cordelia said loudly, getting a laugh from the surrounding students.

"It's over Cordelia," Xander said flatly.

"What?"

"The whole insult each-other and have angry sex in the Janitor's closet deal is long gone, and no amount of insults is going to lure me back," Xander said, trying to look as earnest as possible.

"Told you I saw them duck into the Janitor's closet that one time," one teen said, slapping his friend on the shoulder. "You owe me a coke."

"You told me you were saving it for marriage," a jock said, sending a hurt look Cordelia's way.

"I...You...Argh!" Cordelia stormed off.

"That was unfair," Buffy said with a frown.

"She's gone way over her allowable bitch quotient," Xander said. "Anyway, I got bit by a shark."

"A shark?!" Willow exclaimed.

"I was diving about ten miles out," Xander explained. "See, Crazy George thought he'd figured out the drift pattern that washed a crate of hundred year-old whiskey up on the shore after the last big storm. The Southern Bell vanished during a routine delivery, and he thinks he knows where it went down. It most likely sank during a storm about seventy years ago, and while it's not exactly filled with pirate gold, crates of whiskey are worth their weight in silver."

"Back up," Willow said. "Why are you diving?"

"Because Crazy George hired me to, and it's fun," Xander replied.

"But you get bitten by sharks," Buffy pointed out.

"One shark in over a dozen dives," Xander argued.

"Why is he called Crazy George?" Willow asked.

"Because one of the ships he's trying to find is the S.S. Minnow," Xander said with a laugh. "He's convinced Gilligan's Island was based on real events."

"You're joking," Buffy said in stark disbelief.

"You're going to sea with a crazy man!" Willow voiced.

"I'm not joking, and the name is partly a joke because he has evidence to back up his claim," Xander said.

"You are a crazy man," Buffy accused him.

Xander laughed. "It's not exact, for instance the names are different, but a tour boat with that grouping of passengers vanished during a tour off the coast, there are records."

"So...No wacky hijinks?" Buffy asked.

"The writer who pitched the idea of the show wrote all that as a way of giving his cousin, who was one of the passengers, a full life that she didn't get in reality, or so Crazy George claims."

"Kinda morbid, but sweet," Willow said.

"Yep," Xander agreed. "George thinks they might have gotten on a life boat and at least survived the sinking of the Minnow, but we won't know until we find the boat."

"So, why are you working with him?" Buffy asked.

"Good money, fun job," Xander replied with a shrug. "I needed something to do, and I found I like doing it."

"And, the sharks didn't dissuade you?" Willow asked.

"Most sharks don't bother me, I only got bit because I didn't notice him."

"How can you not notice a shark?" Willow demanded.

Xander shrugged. "I didn't hear the music playing."

Buffy burst out laughing.

Buffy and Willow made it a point to eat lunch with him from then on, since most of Xander's free time was spent at sea and theirs slaying, and they didn't want to lose touch, though they did make a point of not talking about slaying so he wouldn't get drawn back in.

A couple more weeks pass...

"Willow," Xander said sadly, as he saw her game face.

"Xander?" she asked in surprise.

He stepped forward, pulling a stake from his belt, but as he met her eyes he let the stake drop. "How did this happen?"

Willow caressed his cheek with a cold hand, marveling at his warmth. "I always loved that about you, when I was cold and lonely, you always held me and drove it away."

"We'll fix this!" Xander swore, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly.

"How?" she asked curiously, reveling in his warmth and life. "I'm a soulless monster, remember?"

"Then, I'll share my soul with you!" he swore.

"You'd share your soul with me?" she asked in shock.

"Everything I have is yours."

"If you really mean that, then I know a way." she whispered.


"Anything?" Willow asked as Buffy exited Willy's.

"She vanished with some dark-haired guy," Buffy replied. "The vamps were eager to talk, as she dusted their master and then left them high and dry for a human."

"Who could it..." Willow began but trailed off, a sickly look on her face.

"What?" Buffy asked, seeing that Willow had thought of something.

"Xander, she left with Xander."

"It could be some other dark haired guy," Buffy offered lamely. "Yeah, it's Xander," she finally admitted after a moment.

"What do we do?" Willow demanded.

"We find the vamp, we stake the vamp, we rescue Xander," Buffy said, looking into Willow's eyes and willing her to believe.

"Ok," the red-haired girl said, relieved. "How do we find him?"

"Giles, we'll ask Giles."


"There's no going back on this," Willow warned him. "This is like an old Catholic marriage, no divorce allowed. Of course, unlike a Catholic marriage, death doesn't mean parting. The only way we part is the end of the world, and that is a maybe," she babbled.

"I'm ready," Xander swore, baring his left wrist.

AN: Typing by Lucilla!