Hey all! Sorry if this chapter's a bit lengthy, had to make up for the last one! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or dialogue, unfortunately.
Chapter Two: Revelations
How could I have fallen for a Sith Lord?
Carth sat in the cockpit, running one hand through his hair—briefly he remembered that Aliana did the same thing when she was upset. No, not Aliana, Revan. He shoved his hand in one pocket and scowled at the empty co-pilot's chair, where Bastila would be if she were still here. Why, Bastila? Why did you lie? You and everyone else…
Revan was gone: she'd taken Canderous and Jolee to go look for the Star Map. Still, he didn't feel comfortable leaving the cockpit. Between Mission, Zaalbar, and Juhani he'd get a lecture, or at least a look of disapproval. He knew they weren't happy with him for what he thought; hell, every time he went to the 'fresher or to his quarters he could feel the angry looks—and in Zaalbar's case, hear the angry grunt.
A slight commotion in the farther reaches of the ship made him venture to the doorway of the cockpit: he could pick up her voice trying to calm Mission.
"The Republic knows something, but I need to get in the Sith Embassy first, kiddo. Can't come this time."
"Awww, I never get to do anything," the teenaged Twi'lek whined; Carth heard her chuckle and almost smiled in spite of himself.
"Don't worry, Mission, I'm sure there'll be other adventures. In the meantime, I think I saw a Pazaak player in the waiting area. Think you could go earn us some credits? He won't even know what hit him."
"Excellent! I'll clean him out, Al, promise!" Her laugh echoed all around the ship, and he felt a warmth in the pit of his stomach, something he shouldn't be feeling. How can she do this?
"Just don't cheat, Mission. I'll be here later on, so you can show me how you did."
Carth edged a little closer to the common area, in time to hear Juhani ask, "What have you discovered?"
"Not much. Manaan's not as peaceful as it seems from the planet. The Selkath youths have been going missing, the Sith are trying to frame the Republic for a murder, and the Republic's being secretive about the Star Map—their ambassador knows more than he's telling." She sighed heavily. "All these double-dealings, all these secrets…if I don't go mad I'll be lucky."
"It's the way of a Jedi, lass," Jolee's voice growled. "But you being a Sentinel it's your duty to bring all this to light. And who knows, you may well make a few changes for the better."
"Thank you, Jolee." There was some noise as she stood up. "I should get some rest while I can. It'll be easier to break into the Embassy when I don't feel like a Rancor used me as a chew toy."
"I thought you were investigating," Juhani began.
"Yeah," Canderous chuckled, "except for the little time-out for swoop racing she took. Never thought a Jedi could be such an adrenaline junkie."
"Those credits could be useful, you brainless Hutt-slug, and don't even start with your worthless teasing." She sighed, and Carth could almost see the hand raking through her black hair. "I'm going to bed."
--
Aliana closed the door to her bunk, making sure the door was locked before stripping down to her underwear—not that the entire crew hadn't seen her near-naked at least once before, but it was a thing she tried her best to avoid. Especially around Canderous, the pervert. She crawled under the blanket and sighed heavily, dropping off into a troubled sleep.
She walked the corridors of the Star Forge, her robes billowing around her and her mask in place. No one but Malak ever saw her unmasked, and no one but he would know her face. There were many benefits from the anonymity, two of which being she could roam unmasked among the ranks when she pleased and lead troops with no one realizing who she really was.
When she entered her quarters, Malak was waiting for her.
"What troubles you, Malak?" The mask came off to reveal yellow-brown eyes, black hair framing a face that held a fierce, proud beauty.
"Lord Revan, while I am pleased that our forces are so close to victory, I would much prefer that it was not you who led them."
Her eyes narrowed, and when she spoke her voice had taken a cold, deadly tone. "And who made it your place to question my will, Malak? Do you speak as my advisor or as my apprentice?"
"Revan, I speak as your friend. I have no desire to watch everything we've achieved tumble before we reach our victory."
Anger burned in her blood, and she drew her blade swiftly, red light cutting through soft, living flesh. Malak screamed, or screamed as well as he could with his jaw missing. She picked up the now-useless lump of flesh and threw it at her apprentice's head.
"Remember your place, apprentice, and do not question me again. A true Sith has no need of friends, and I have no need of advisors. Be glad I was merciful this once—I will not be so forgiving again."
Aliana bolted upright, black hair flying in all directions as she searched frantically for Malak. Once she realized she was truly alone, she curled up into a small ball and cried quietly. Was I really so cruel? How could I have done that to a former friend? What kind of a monster am I? She lay there, silent tears streaming down her face—she wasn't aware when Mission, eager to show her newly-won credits, broke in and saw her tears. She had no idea when Jolee slipped into the room to try and comfort her, or when Juhani brought a tray of food that she never touched. All she did was cry, as if her tears could somehow wash away the dark creature she had once been.
--
Carth made his way to the cockpit, still trying to come to grips with the fact that he'd somehow fallen for a Sith Lord. Let's face it, Onasi, you've got it bad for her, a little voice in the back of his mind pointed out.
But she's a Sith Lord! She ordered the attack on Telos! It's because of her we're stuck in this war in the first place!
Idiot. You know damn well she's not the same person anymore. Remember Taris, how she used to give people credits and medpacs when they needed them, even though you didn't have nearly enough to spare? Darth Revan would've killed them outright, but she went out of her way to help! You just refuse to admit there's anything good about her because you're afraid!
Afraid? Who in their right mind wouldn't be afraid? She could turn on us at any moment!
You really are an idiot, Onasi. If she were going to betray you she would've done it by now. The voice was getting louder. You're just hiding from the real reason, coward. You just don't want to admit you've fallen in love with a former Sith Lord!
The rogue thought stopped him in his tracks. Love? Looking back, he realized it was true: somewhere along the way, he'd fallen in love with Aliana—no, Revan. That's why he had been so angry when he'd learned the truth, he realized. Never mind that she'd been just as blind-sided as he'd been: he'd gone and assumed she'd known all along.
Shaking his head, Carth resumed his journey to the cockpit, only to find Jolee and Juhani waiting for him. Judging by the grim looks on both their faces, the two Jedi were here to talk about her.
"Yes, what's on your mind?" Probably not the best choice of words, but he was still too wrapped up in his own thoughts to think about an opening line for conversation.
"You need to go talk to the girl," Jolee growled. Carth was about to reply when Juhani cut in.
"Revan has not been herself, and I believe you know the cause of her discomfort."
"What, you think I had anything to do with her being miserable? I haven't even seen her since we got loose from the Leviathan. How could I have made her that miserable?" Carth was side-stepping the issue, he knew, and from the looks on both of the Jedis' faces, they knew too.
"Boy, how long are you going to lie? And I don't just mean lying to us—we're Jedi, lying to one of us is an exercise in futility, not to mention stupidity. But you're doing worse than that—lying to both yourself and to Aliana. She's miserable, she spent a good two hours in her bunk just crying, no matter how hard she tries to pretend she wasn't." Jolee shook his head, scowling. "You best get your head together, boy. You made a promise to the lass, and I daresay she's going to need you soon enough."
Carth sighed and plopped down into the pilot's seat. "Maybe I should, but it's not easy. You said yourself I've been avoiding the issue, so how do I stop avoiding it and deal with the fact that she's a Jedi, and that she used to be Darth Revan?"
"For starters, how about actually admitting a few things to yourself?" Carth snapped around, a shocked look on his face. "Don't gimme that look, boy. I can see your emotions are all over the place, just like hers are right now. My old eyes aren't nearly so blind as all that, you know."
"She needs you, Carth," Juhani spoke softly, the feline vowels echoing in the cockpit. "While she could still call you friend she was at peace with the Force, and herself. As long as you condemn her, she stands in greater danger of falling again."
Carth knew she was right: the Cathar Jedi was never one to mince words, or say what she didn't mean. And he knew he couldn't lie to himself anymore: he loved her, whoever she was, and needed to tell her. He stood up, intending to go find Aliana, when Jolee stopped him.
"She's gone with Mission and Canderous to find the last Star Map. You won't see her now." Jolee pushed the pilot back down into his seat. "You best think about what you plan to do, boy. She's no Sith Lord, and I've fought enough to know. No, she's changed and the sooner you get that through your head the better off you'll both be."
--
Aliana didn't even deliver the coordinates herself when she returned from Manaan; Mission took them to Carth while she hid in her bunk. Coward, she chided herself, but that was the reality of it: she couldn't bring herself to face him, to see the anger in his eyes. She felt the ship taking off, heading for the Star Forge, and decided she might as well use the time to rest. Pulling the band out of her black hair, Aliana stripped off her outer robe and stretched. She was just about to peel off the inner robe when a knock sounded on the door. Still unwilling to face company, Aliana hesitated to open the door.
"You in there?" Carth, she thought sadly; the one person she knew hated her was now knocking at her door. She made no move to open it—she just lay down quietly on her bed, her back to the door, hoping he'd give up and leave. When he knocked again, Aliana shut her eyes and willed him to go. She heard the soft sounds of someone attempting to bypass the lock, and the hiss of her door opening. A hand touched her shoulder, and she knew it was Carth; she'd forgotten he had some skill with bypassing security. Maybe if I pretend I'm asleep, he'll leave, she thought. He did leave, but only long enough to lock her door. She felt the bunk sag as he sat on the edge of it, and felt Carth touch her shoulder again; it took a lot of effort to keep still.
"If you're really asleep, I'll just wait here until you wake up, Gorgeous. But either way I'm not leaving until we talk." She still didn't move, even though she felt the tears pooling in the corners of her eyes and spilling over to wet her face. Please, just go away, she begged silently.
"Aliana…" Carth's voice intruded on her thoughts, using her own name, something he hadn't done in all the time she'd known him. She couldn't keep quiet anymore, not after that.
"If you have something to say, Carth, then say it and leave me be. Though I can't see why you'd have anything else to say, since you've made yourself perfectly clear already." She tried to maintain control, she really did, but her voice cracked on the words, betraying how she really felt.
"Aliana…look at me, please," he asked. Reluctantly she turned and sat up, surprised to see a repentant look, repentant…and scared.
"I was wrong, Gorgeous, I realize that now. When I found out you were Revan…I thought you were betraying me again…that you were like Saul." Carth's beautiful brown eyes looked away, and in spite of herself Aliana wished he'd look at her again.
"I can't hate you. I tried. I wanted to hold you responsible for all the things you've done… for my wife…for Telos… Dustil. But I can't." He finally looked up, his brown eyes meeting hers, drawing her in—she saw the truth in his eyes, the regret, and something more, something deeper.
"I got the revenge I always wanted when Saul died, but it hasn't brought me the peace I thought it would. All I can think of now is the promise I made to protect you from what's going to come. It's given me a reason to look past simple revenge." His voice took on a pleading tone that she'd only heard him use with his son on Korriban. "You have this huge destiny waiting for you, and I'm worried if you're alone, it will swallow you whole. I want to help you. Will you let me? Is there room for me in there, with you?"
"Carth…" Aliana turned her head, trying to hide the tears she felt growing in her eyes. "I don't want you hurt protecting me."
"I think I'd be hurt worse if I didn't try." Cupping the side of her face, Carth turned it back to look at him, his thumb brushing a few strands of her black hair away. Before she could turn away again, he gently brushed his lips against her forehead. Her soft gasp was enough encouragement for him to continue.
"Whatever's happened up to this point, there's going to come a time very soon when you'll have to make a choice, and there won't be any turning back. I want you to make the right choice, I want to give you a reason to."
"What reason can you give?" Aliana whispered.
"You gave me a future. I want to give you a future, with me," Carth replied, pulling her to him; even if she wanted to she couldn't get away. "I love you, Aliana, Revan, whoever you choose to be."
Aliana buried her face in his shoulder, tears soaking his jacket. Carth barely caught the muffled words, "I love you, Carth."
He gently lifted her face and kissed her, a gentle brush that turned into searing passion. She responded, clinging to him as though she were afraid to let go. When they finally broke the kiss, Carth saw an unspoken question in her dark eyes.
"Are you sure?" I don't want to hurt you again.
"Yes," Aliana whispered, pushing at his leather jacket. He fumbled with the catch of her robe, and the two lovers joined in a harmony that seemed to last an eternity.
--
"Hey, Ali! Have you—oh!" Mission's startled exclamation drew the attention of Jolee, Juhani, and Canderous to Aliana's bunk. The teenager had gone pink and was currently trying to squeeze past Canderous (who had gotten there first and was currently chuckling at some unseen thing). Jolee finally Force-shoved him out of the way to find…
"Oh," he said simply as he noted the discarded jacket, a wadded-up Jedi robe, two pairs of leggings and…red lace undergarments? The old Jedi quickly turned and blocked Juhani. "Let's give them some privacy."
"I never thought Revan had it in her," Canderous chuckled. "Who knew what she was hiding under that robe?"
Inside the room, safely ensconced beneath Carth's solid form, Aliana's eyes narrowed in concentration. She didn't need to see the Mandalorian to know when he landed on his butt in the corridor, or when the door hissed shut and locked. That'll teach him, she thought as she looked at her handsome pilot.
"Now, where were we?"
