A/N: I realize Family Guy is not exactly a kiddie show per say, but since the majority of shows I'm going to be using are for kids, that's why I chose the title. But, each time they go into another show, I will be giving the title of it so if you aren't interested in a show you can skip on, the different scenarios will be stand-alone, the only thing connecting them will be the door that they have to go through to get to the next one. Basically this whole thing is just an excuse to write comedy and goof off and have fun. I hope you like it! And now…
Chapter One
(Family Guy)
The Doctor looked around him at the cartoon world they were standing in. Logically, he knew it was just a virtual reality simulation that the Cybermaster had imprisoned them in, but the whole thing seemed so real to him. He looked down at his hands and body and noticed they looked exactly like a cartoon.
Fascinating. He thought to himself.
"Doctor?"
He looked over at Rose and couldn't help but grin. Rose looked bizarre. She had wide eyes and her lips were small and puckered. He giggled as she put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, you look just as weird as I do." She said.
"I don't doubt it. I have a feeling we're gonna go through a lot of weird incarnations of ourselves before we escape." He said. "Having said that, I think we should start looking for this door, the quicker we can find it, the quicker we can escape."
He took Rose's hand and they walked through the tiny town.
"I wonder where we're at?" Rose said.
"Does this cartoon look like one you've watched before?" the Doctor asked.
"No, how about you?"
The Doctor widened his eyes in shock.
"Me? I don't watch kid's shows, Rose. I'm a Time Lord; I watch more educational, enlightening programs."
"So, that's not you I see sitting in the den on the couch in your knickers watching Thomas the Tank Engine at six in the morning?"
She giggled as the Doctor gave her a flustered look.
"That's just…research." He stammered. "I am fascinated with Earth programs just as I'm fascinated with all things from your planet, but that doesn't mean I'm a fan of the show!"
"And you have to do this research in your knickers?"
"I like to be comfortable when I study things." He said sniffing.
"Whatever, Doctor." Rose muttered.
She glanced up at a sign above a shop.
QUAHOG HARDWARE STORE
"Quahog, where's that?" Rose said pulling on the Doctor's coat sleeve.
The Doctor looked up at it.
"Not sure." He said rubbing his ear. "Might be a real place, then again it might be imaginary. You can never tell in cartoons. Blimey, being here reminds me of another time I visited a strange place…
Suddenly, there was a jump cut and the scene shifted to a doctor's office. The first Doctor was standing in front of an exam table shifting uneasily while a doctor stared at him impatiently.
FIRST DOCTOR: I don't believe this is necessary.
DOCTOR: There is nothing to be afraid of sir; it's just a prostate exam. All men over the age of 50 need it once a year. Now if you'll just drop your pants and bend over the table, we'll get started.
FIRST DOCTOR: But I don't have a problem with my prostate, it's perfectly fine. My people don't get prostate cancer like humans do. I…"
DOCTOR (Yelling): Nurse, get in here! The old coot is resisting!
(The door flies open and a nurse with huge bulky Popeye muscles rushes in, grabs the Doctor, pulls his pants down, turns him around and lays on top of him.
DOCTOR: Thank you, nurse. Now, just relax Mister Smith, this will be a tad uncomfortable."
(The first Doctor's eyes widen and he whimpers when he hears the doctor snap the latex glove behind him.)
The scene shifts back to the Doctor and Rose. Rose smirks at him as his face reddens.
"You had a prostate exam then?" Rose asked him.
"Well, only once," the Doctor admitted. "It was in my first life and I assure you I did not go back for a second. I don't like people's fingers up my arse."
He looked around.
"Why did it suddenly show you my memory like that?" he mused.
Rose shrugged.
"Must be something to do with the cartoon." She said.
The Doctor sighed.
"All the more reason to get out of here. Come on, Rose, let's go find that door."
He took her hand and they resumed searching.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Aw, mom, do I have to?" Chris whined.
Lois Griffin sighed as she stared at her son. For the past half hour, she had been trying to get him to go outside and mow the lawn. She looked over at her corpulent husband who was lying on the couch shoveling nachos into his huge mouth.
"Peter, tell your son he has to mow the lawn." She said to him.
"Do as your mother says." Peter said, not taking his eyes off the TV.
"But, why can't dad do it?" Chris said pointing at Peter.
"I'm busy." Peter said through a mouthful of nachos. "Now go and mow the lawn. You don't want me to punish you like I did that one time…
(Jump cut)
(Chris is sitting on the bed in his room staring imploringly at Peter who is standing in the doorway.)
CHRIS: No dad, please, I won't raid the refrigerator between meals. For the love of God, please don't let Paris Hilton serve her jail sentence in my room.
PETER: You should have thought of that before you ate my chocolate cake. Now you will sit here and listen to Paris ramble on until you decide not to take food that doesn't belong to you.
(He slams the door. Chris looks over at Paris who is sitting in a small metal cage in the corner of his room.)
PARIS: So, I'm working on a new CD. Wanna hear me sing the first single off of it?
CHRIS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Cut back to the living room.)
Chris grumbled as he opened the door and stomped outside. He slams the door and Peter sighs and resumes shoveling nachos into his mouth.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(Meanwhile, upstairs…)
"Ah, almost finished." Stewie said as he put the finishing touches on his elaborate doomsday satellite. "Once I send this up into outer space, I will unleash hell upon the unsuspecting Earth."
He looked over at the little teddy bear beside him.
"You hear that, Rupert? Soon we will be rulers of the world and my first act as master of all will be to off that contemptible shrew, Lois. It shall be a glorious day when she is screaming and begging for mercy at my feet and…"
Stewie gasped as he felt a pair of hands grabbing him and lifting him off the floor.
"What the deuce?" he yelled.
"Come on, Stewie, mommy has to go to the store."
"Let go of me you vile woman! I have no time to go to the store! I have a world to conquer!"
"And if you are extra good, I'll let you pick out a toy while we're there."
"How dare you put your hands on…a…toy? I get a toy? I GET A TOY! Oh goody, oh goody, I get a toy! I love getting toys when we go to the store!"
Stewie smiled happily thinking of what toy he wanted as Lois carried him down the stairs.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Ah, what a relief," Brian said as he walked away from the fire hydrant. "I hate having to hold it in when I'm out."
He walked back towards home. On the way, he noticed a man and a woman walking the other way. He stopped.
"Hmmm, never seen them before." He said to himself.
He stood and watched as they passed him.
"Howdy, nice to meet you." He said to the woman.
Rose stopped and stared at him.
"Doctor," she said.
"Yes, Rose." The Doctor said stopping.
"That dog just said hello to me."
The Doctor shrugged.
"It's a cartoon, remember? Anything can happen."
He took her hand.
"Come on; let's see if we can get some information from him. Maybe he has a clue about where this door might be." He said to her.
"Hello there." The Doctor said to him." I'm the Doctor and this is Rose."
"Mornin', Name's Brian Griffin." The dog replied. "Haven't seen you two in Quahog before."
"Yes. Well, we're just…um…visiting." The Doctor replied. "We were actually looking for a door. Do you have any idea where we might find one?"
Brian stared at him. He pointed to all the doors around him.
"Take your pick." Brian said.
"No, we're looking for a certain door. Do you know if there is a glowing door or a funny shaped door or a door that looks unusual." The Doctor said.
Brian stared at him.
"The only time I see funny shaped doors is when I've had one too many martinis." He replied.
Rose stared at him.
"You drink martinis?" She said.
"Yeah, I'm over the legal limit. You got a problem with that?"
"Um…no." Rose said. "No problem at all."
"So what you're saying is you are looking for an out of the ordinary door." Brian said looking at the Doctor.
"Yes, that's right." The Doctor replied.
"Heh, that brings back memories. I remember the last time I had to find a door that was out of the ordinary…"
(Jump cut.)
(Brian is standing in a room, surrounded on all sides by doors. A sinister looking figure is standing behind him.)
SINISTER FIGURE: Now, in order to escape this room of death, you must find the correct door. But, be warned, you must choose the right door. All but one of them leads to a horrible, painful death! Good luck! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!
(Brian watches as the sinister figure walks to a door behind him, opens it, walks out and closes it. He stands staring at the door for a moment and then goes over and opens it. The sinister man stares at him in disbelief as he walks out of the room.)
SINISTER FIGURE: But…but how did you figure it out so quickly?
(Brian shrugs.)
BRIAN: I just went out the same door you did.
SINISTER FIGURE: CURSES! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS DEATH TRAP THROUGH BEFORE I PUT SOMEONE IN IT!
(Cut back to the Doctor and Rose and Brian.)
"And now it's showing your memories. Blimey, that's annoying." The Doctor said.
Brian looked at his watch.
"Listen, it's been nice chatting with you. But, I've gotta go. I gotta get home and take a flea bath. I've been getting kinda mangy lately."
He stared at them.
"Listen, you guys got anywhere to go?" he asked.
The Doctor and Rose stared at each other.
"Um, no, not really." Rose said.
"Hmmm, well, why don't you come home with me. Supper will be ready soon and Lois always makes more than enough for everyone. Have something to eat while you figure out this whole door thing."
Rose looked at the Doctor.
"You want to?"
The Doctor shrugged.
"Why not? Might as well grab a bite to eat while we sort this thing out."
"Well, follow me then…and I apologize in advance if you guys get fleas. I keep forgetting to ask Lois to get me a flea collar from the store. So, if you start itching, you'll know who to blame."
The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other and then followed Brian as he led them towards his house.
